gadgetlady

I think your situation may have been a little different, Kare. Loopylou isn't saying her husband was emotionally abusive. In fact, she seems to be saying just the opposite -- that he's a great guy and they've just lost the lover's spark. I'm sure there's a lot going on that none of us are aware of, so I was just speaking to what she indicated was the problem -- she's "fallen out of love" with him. That's very different from "he's an insensitive jerk" or "he beats me" or "he had an affair." Love is an emotion that comes and goes and can be nurtured with effort. I was simply saying that sometimes in situations such as these, couples can "get that lovin' feeling" back again.

:clap2::clap2: I wanna be you!!!!!! Congratulations :biggrin1:

OK, I held off for a long time responding to this thread, but I really felt led to say something. Marriage is not about *finding* the right person, it is about *being* the right person. If all that's wrong in your marriage is that you don't have "passion" or "a spark", spend some time trying to get/find it. Communicate with your spouse about what the problem is. Don't just assume it's not fixable, but work with the person you love to try to fix it. Go to a retreat, see a counselor, date your spouse, try to find the spark that was there when you first married. Love is a committment, a decision -- not a feeling. Divorce is a horrible, painful thing. It may feel "right" right now but it will make a dent in your emotions, your psyche, somewhere down the road. It will also affect future relationships you have. Loopylou (and Laura -- and the others who posted "in the same boat"), please take the time to repair what you've committed to. I guarantee you it is not irreparable. I'm not *in* your marriage, so I can't speak to specifics, but I have seen couples on the verge of divorce rediscover each other and reignite the passion. Marriage shouldn't end because someone is bored. I'm sorry if I hurt some feelings here, but I feel very strongly about this subject.

Yay for you! That's what we do, too. I don't buy gifts "on command" is how I put it. I don't want to ever be forced to go out and buy something for someone for a particular day -- there's more liklihood I'll buy them something they don't really need because I couldn't find anything to get them. No disappointment, and always surprises on unusual days when one of us buys the other something unrelated to an imposed holiday. I had too many stupid gifts when I was a child -- I particularly remember a needlepoint faceplate for my light switch, and I was NEVER a creative child. I just don't do it anymore.

Mine was not quite so dramatic. I was scheduled for surgery at 8:30am, showed up at the hospital at 7am. After getting me into a room for bp, pulse, stats, etc., they were putting the IV into me around 8am. After I was all ready to go at 8:25, I had to pee so I was about 3-4 minutes late being wheeled into surgery. I was done in surgery after about 55 minutes, then in recovery for ?? and quite sleepy. My mom and dh didn't want to wake me up once I was in the hosp room because every time I woke up I complained about being parched, and I couldn't drink until they did a barium swallow which was scheduled for 2pm. That was delayed until about 3, though, I don't know why, but I was still quite drugged and remember falling asleep in the wheelchair as they pushed me to the barium swallow. After that, I was pretty awake! Went home around 1pm the next day.

2 weeks pre-op: protein shakes, non-starchy veges, and clear liquids only 1 day pre-op: clear liquids only 2 weeks post-op: liquids. diluted cream of wheat, creamed soups only weeks 2-4 post op: mushies weeks 5-6 post op: normal food, bandster's diet

I have no idea what they would do if you didn't do the pre-op diet. I did it because the dr said it makes it more likely that they won't have to convert to an open surgery (because it shrinks the liver, making it easier for him to work w/ the stomach internally). I lost 10 lbs during the pre-op. My surgeon is very arrogant, and the last thing I remember before they put me under is when they wheeled me into the OR. He was standing there (we were about 4 minutes late because I had to use the bathroom one last time) with his arms over his chest like "what's been holding you up??" He said "How'd you do on the pre-op diet?" I said happily, "I lost 10 lbs." He kind of gave me a harumph, like I didn't lose enough. That's all I remember LOL!

I lost about 10 pre-op (2 weeks liquids) and 6 more since then; surgery was one week ago today. So that 16 lbs in 3 weeks.

The first 3-4 days I was so swollen I had trouble with even drinks, too. I wouldn't have dared try yogurt. Protein shakes were difficult but I could get them down. Also try diluted cream of wheat or rice or diluted baby Cereal. For some reason that slid down prety well, while I absolutely could NOT get Jello down! Drink, drink, drink. And teeny-tiny sips. I'm one week out now and still had trouble with jello last night. The worst part is when there's a traffic jam -- something trying to go down and a burp trying to come up. I realized it was mostly with the Protein Shakes, I think because I blend them up and they get a lot of air in them, which then has to be burped up. So keep it SLOW. The faster you drink, the more air you swallow.

I'm 6 days post-op; I lost a little over 10 lbs pre-surgery and am now down almost 16 lbs total. I wasn't able to eat very much the first few days after surgery due to a lot of swelling, but now I'm feeling my hunger come back in spades. I can't eat anything but liquids for the next 2 weeks, but I'm concerned once I'm back on mushies and then real foods until my first fill, my loss is going to stop or reverse. I know it's normal, but I'm just LOVING the loss! (of course I'd be loving it more if I weren't still hobbling around in recovery LOL). What is everyone's experience up until the first fill?

AngioO, are you gaining? Or just not losing. My biggest fear is gaining. I can wait for the loss (although I'm impatient) but I really don't want to see a reversal; that would be discouraging!

They probably aren't very educated about the band and weight loss in general. Delete this thread and invited them to join this chat board :-)

I was banded on Monday, 2/6. I stayed overnight in the hosp and have been mostly couch-bound until today. I took a long walk yesterday and it really did me in. It's different with everyone, though; some people are fine the next day. I started the day before yesterday getting shoulder pain, which apparently can last a few weeks. It also depends on what you mean by "normal" activities.

Well, dh and I have always had similar libidos. We both love it, but I have found that the better our relationship or the more amount of time we have for each other during the day, the better and more frequent the sex is. I do have friends with problems in their desire/frequency, but I've noticed almost without variation that it points to a problem in their relationship. When they begin to communicate better, relate better to the others' needs, become less selfish, etc., "magically" the sex gets better. I have a friend who's been married for close to 20 years and just recently she and her dh "turned over a new leaf" in their relationship -- he began to treat her as a gift and a blessing -- and he fully confessed to not doing so prior to that in their relationship, and she said the sex is better than it's ever been in her life. I have also found in my personal circle of friends that if they had pre-marital sex, the carry-over guilt from that affects their physical relationship in marriage for years and years to come. That would not, I don't think, be the case for couples who don't believe pre-marital sex is wrong. I believe there is a spiritual component to this. (phew) sorry for the novel!

Oh, I forgot -- my dr said low-fat creamed soups are OK, too. I had cream of vegetable in the hosp and cream of chicken the other night. Because I'm still feeling a lot of restriction from the swelling, I didn't have too much of the LOL but they are "allowed".

Yup, I feel shorter than 5'4" . . . mainly because I'm 5'2" :heh: Just kidding. Perhaps you feel more petite because you are. You don't take up as much space, things are easier to reach for, walk around, it's probably even easier to duck under things because the fat around your middle isn't in the way. When you sit down, you may be a little lower in the chair because you don't have so much padding in the rear . . . Enjoy it!!!!! :clap2:

I couldn't get a straight answer out of my surgeon either, but it was definitely more than 30. It was either 200 or 300 depending on who in the office you talked to, but I was fine w/ either one. They need about 100 to be proficient. Even though you're so close, I would recommend finding another surgeon. It's kind of like when ppl are about to get married and they realize they may be doing the wrong thing, but canceling the wedding a week out is too much of a hassle, embarassment, etc. Well bottom line is they're a lot better off canceling before than dealing w/ the problems after. I know you must be discouraged, but if everything's in order w/ insurance, etc., you might be able to find a qualified surgeon who can take up the reins and get you done quickly. You never know -- maybe even the same date! Get on the horn on Monday and find someone new :-)

I bought mixed-Cereal baby food. I mixed it up with a lot of Water -- i.e. very diluted -- and it goes down OK. Rice cereal, cream of wheat, etc. all should be OK if they're diluted.

Hi Cashley! I was banded on 2/6 and still having trouble getting liquids only down. I can't imagine eating "real" food right now, but I know there are a lot that do at this post-op point. The more Protein you get into you, the less hungry you'll be. There are some Protein shake mixes out there with tons of protein in them. Generally, the first fill out is 6 weeks. Your stomach needs to heal from the placement of the band. Don't go to quickly with solids; you don't want to have complications or slow healing. Good luck!

The squeaky wheel . . . I'd yell and scream and kick up a fuss, call 20 times a day, DEMAND he refund you or do the surgery over again for free -- that is IF you trust him to do it again. Don't take this sitting still.

Dr. Hekier, the hospital told me they needed to do a barium swallow post-op to make sure nothing was leaking out of my stomach when I swallowed. I was absolutely parched and wanting something to drink, and they wouldn't let me drink anything until after the barium swallow. Was that over-cautious (which I'm fine with) or anything you've ever heard of?

Crickert, having the band does not make you a failure. It is not a quick or easy fix; it's just a tool. In fact, I think it takes a lot of strength to be willing to have a medical, physical reason to not go back to your old habits. I'm sure you do, and you have, had the courage and strength to limit your calories on your own. I know in my case, I was able to diet and lose weight no problem -- it was keeping it off that was the issue. Eventually you cycle like that a bit and it kills your metabolism. Then every diet you face is simply an exercise in losing and then gaining it back in time. Eventually, again, you think "what's the point of dieting when I get right back to where I was in the first place?" I'm sure others on this board will have some good advice for you too. My advice is don't waste any more years struggling. Take the plunge and get yourself on the road to a lifelong diet that you can't circumvent!

Unfortunately, my dr says no baths for 3 weeks. So I'm stuck with my heating pad :-(

Does GasX help w/ the shoulder-pain gas, or just tummy gas?

I count my true weight as what I weigh myself in the morning, no clothes, just after using the bathroom. The dr's office fluctuates so much with clothing, food or beverages consumed, etc. I use a Tanita scale with body fat monitor (I don't trust the body fat readings but just use it as a general average). The scale is totally accurate -- if I weigh myself 10 times it will give me the exact same weight each of the 10 times. Plus, it's accurate to 0.2 lb., so I really know where I stand. I used to have a scale that would round to the nearest lb., and it could give me a 3 lb difference when I weighed myself over and over again. I don't know if I've told this story on this board yet, but I used to be nearsighted (before lasik surgery) and one time I didn't have my glasses on when I weighed myself. I would weigh 3-4 times and take an average because of the discrepancy in the scale, and this time I had to weigh, get off, bend over and look at the scale, get back on, repeat. Well my husband came into the bathroom and saw me doing this and asked "Why are you bowing to the scale?") Too funny! Don't we all bow to the scale in one way or another?