llism

Warning: vent ahead! Day three of the pre-op diet and I lost my sh!t tonight. Surgeon's recommendations are two Protein shakes a day + a meat and veggies dinner. I'd had a shake this morning, took a nap this afternoon (first day off in over two weeks) and when I woke up I wanted to eat the entire world and didn't do anything to reel myself in. I could have chosen any number of things -- have a shake and eat some green Beans I have waiting for me in the fridge, for example -- but I just didn't care. I was angry and resentful and feeling like it was a really horrible idea to have the surgery. So I ordered a medium thin crust with extra cheese and veggies and a hot chocolate brownie from pizza Hut. I ate six slices of the pizza and scraped the toppings off the other two pieces, and then I ate about 1/4 of the brownie pan, and of-superobvious-course I feel uncomfortable and sick and even more panicked now. My brief psychology: I was repeatedly sexually abused by a neighbor when I was very young and food became my everything. I was obese as early as elementary school, lost weight through some program my mom took me to, and was only able to barely maintain my weight loss by taking up smoking when I was around 13 or 14 (although I did fluctuate by as much as 50 pounds after I started smoking). I finally quit smoking in 2005 or so and my weight has been steadily climbing to my now all-time high. I've been in therapy for the sexual abuse and related eating disorder since 2008 and honestly thought I was at a place where WLS would be something I could handle. Now, though, I'm having serious second thoughts. If I can't make it through the pre-op diet, how the heck am I going to manage the rest of my life? I've always been the sort of person who has a real "I'll show me!" reaction to any type of prescribed diet, so I tend to self-sabotage when I'm given a list of "don'ts". What does that mean for post-op, though? How can I have any degree of confidence that I'll be successful if I can't make it three effing days without flipping out?

Feb 7 surgery date and I'm TRIPPIN'. I start my pre-op diet tomorrow. Email freelancehuman at gmail dot com for addition to the FB group. Thanks!

January 11t and I'm FREAKING out.

I've just been approved for my VSG (yay!) and my research showed that many folks have had gall bladder issues after surgery. How many of you developed these issues (if you'd never had them before, that is)? If you did, did you have to have your gall bladder removed? Thanks!

I've worked with a therapist for many years to overcome my binge eating issues and now finally feel I'm ready to move forward with WLS. If all goes according to plan I'll have my gastric sleeve by the end of this year. However, I've noticed that my eating has gotten much worse over the last month or so and I'm terrified that all the work I've done with my therapist is unraveling. Is "the last supper" syndrome pretty common for folks before their surgery? I'm trying to figure out if it's this or if something else is going on. Thanks for any and all feedback!