Dia

Jachut, thank you for your post, it reinforces my decision and it was what I personally needed to read. I also started having second thoughts late yesterday and all last night. My surgery is one week from today, so I'm glad it wasn't the night before. I finally realized that if I didn't go through with it, I would forever be fighting my weight, just like I've done EVERY DAY for the past 10 years. Not that I won't have to continue to be aware of what I eat, but if it's a drastically cut amount, then it won't be so much of an effort like it is now. Also, if I back out now, I'd just want to re-schedule it as soon as I got over my fear and have to start over on this pre-op, 2 week liq. diet. That alone is enough to make me not want to back out.

This morning, my weight was 198, so I'm down an even 10 lbs from my pre-op diet. This is day 5. By my surgery date, I'm guessing I'll be around the 20 lb mark, give or take. It hasn't been easy, but I'm surviving. I really like seeing the numbers dropping, but this is not how I'd choose to do it. Yesterday, I went to the mall and bought myself a few soft pajama pants for when I'm recovering. I was kind of in a pissy mood though, being in the mall made me hungry. I never noticed the smells from the food court before. Passing by the pretzel stand, the cookie stand, smelling the Chinese food from the food court...I nearly caved. But I didn't. I kept thinking about the cute outfits in Ann Taylor Loft that I would soon be able to wear. And the Lilly Pulitzer clothes I used to love and couldn't wait for new patterns every year. If I give in like a hog and stuff my face, I'll never get to wear any of those things. I used to love going to the malls and places like Steinmart and boutiques and just buy whatever I damn well wanted to wear. It's been years and years since I've been able to go into a store and buy what I wanted instead of something to just cover my body. Shopping for clothes became a chore instead of something fun. Really, I'm more looking forward to being able to wear my cute clothes from years ago, assuming they aren't dry rotted. I need to go through my closet and put my fat clothes somewhere. Not all of them, I know I won't be losing weight as fast after the band as I am pre-op. But cleaning out my closet is therapeutic and also constructive. It also keeps me busy and my mind off wanting to eat.

This morning, my weight was 198, so I'm down an even 10 lbs from my pre-op diet. This is day 5. By my surgery date, I'm guessing I'll be around the 20 lb mark, give or take. It hasn't been easy, but I'm surviving. I really like seeing the numbers dropping, but this is not how I'd choose to do it. Yesterday, I went to the mall and bought myself a few soft pajama pants for when I'm recovering. I was kind of in a pissy mood though, being in the mall made me hungry. I never noticed the smells from the food court before. Passing by the pretzel stand, the cookie stand, smelling the Chinese food from the food court...I nearly caved. But I didn't. I kept thinking about the cute outfits in Ann Taylor Loft that I would soon be able to wear. And the Lilly Pulitzer clothes I used to love and couldn't wait for new patterns every year. If I give in like a hog and stuff my face, I'll never get to wear any of those things. I used to love going to the malls and places like Steinmart and boutiques and just buy whatever I damn well wanted to wear. It's been years and years since I've been able to go into a store and buy what I wanted instead of something to just cover my body. Shopping for clothes became a chore instead of something fun. Really, I'm more looking forward to being able to wear my cute clothes from years ago, assuming they aren't dry rotted. I need to go through my closet and put my fat clothes somewhere. Not all of them, I know I won't be losing weight as fast after the band as I am pre-op. But cleaning out my closet is therapeutic and also constructive. It also keeps me busy and my mind off wanting to eat.

Well, I certainly wouldn't do an all liquid diet if I didn't have to. Yeah, I've lost 10 lbs in 5 days, but it's been very hard. I understand about wanting to get a jump start, and I applaud you for not living it up and eating without abandon. But all liquids is hard.

If I had it to do over, I'd look for a dr. that didn't require such a grueling pre-op diet. But I am losing weight, so at least there's that!

Thank you for your replies Jaxbanster & Shortgal. I figured if I was going to "cheat" that eggs were better than pancakes or something carb-y. The good thing is that I finished my pills last night and I don't have to have anything in my tummy until next Monday. Since that Monday will be two days before my surgery, I may just not start my next pack and wait until I can start eating mushies to get back on them. It's not like I'll probably feel like doing anything that will get me pregnant during that time anyway. ; ) No, my dr. did not tell me to quit taking them but I did disclose that I take them on my paperwork.

I'm really scared to post this, but I'm on day 4 of the clear liquid pre-op (Slimfast 3x day, sf jello, sf popsicles, broth). I've "cheated" everyday by having 2 scrambled eggs and that is the only cheating I've done. I'm down 7 lbs so the weight is coming off. The reason I've done this is because my birth control pills make me incredibly nauseous if I don't have something in my tummy. I've always had to have a little something for breakfast whether I wanted it or not, if not I'll be miserable. Should I call my dr's office and postpone my surgery? I could just use other protection and not take bc pills when I have to start over?

I don't think you have to say good-bye forever to all of your favorite foods. You can still have a lot of that stuff you like, just smaller amounts. It's not practical to think that you'll never go out to eat at a restaraunt or at a family get together/reunion or attend social functions where there will be food. You will just have to make wise choices when you are in those situations. From what all I've read/heard, you won't really want that stuff anymore anyway. You won't crave it. But I totally understand where you're coming from, I've grieved too. My surgery date is 3/19 and I'm on the pre-op liquid and if you put a piece of my favorite food in front of me right now, I honestly don't think I'd want it. I've gotten past the cravings and pining for bad foods. And I've got another week and a half til surgery, plus another few weeks of liquids, mushies, etc. I'm hoping this feeling of ambivilance will continue. Best of luck to you. Try to look at this band as what you'll be gaining and less of what you're having to give up.

Hi everyone, I LOVE this board, way more organized than elsewhere I've read. I only wish I'd stumbled upon this board sooner. I have a surgery date of Wed, 3/19 @ 6:00 am. On the pre-op clear liquid diet now, with SlimFast Optima 3x/day and am having difficulty not cheating. Nothing crazy, today I had some Soup and a few slices of lean turkey luncheon meat. I needed it to just keep doing my housework. I really wish I could've done a low carb/high Protein diet to shrink my liver instead of these nasty liquids and sugar free Jello and popsicles. I seem to have a metallic taste in my mouth and I almost would rather starve myself than do this particular diet. Sorry to sound so negative, I'm just hungry!!! On to my question/concern...I know and get it that the lap band is a tool only, that I have to work it in order to lose weight. I'm wondering if I should join Weight Watchers after I am able to start eating regular foods, after the post-op liquids, mushies, soft food, etc. Have any of you started a formal diet after the band, since the band is only a tool? Thanks for any advice and your opinions.

I wish I had known about this blog feature before now, I'd love to have started blogging my journey at the beginning of my liquid diet. But I'm only 3 days into it, so this will have to do. Wednesday, March 5th 2008 was my consultation with my surgeon and my surgery was scheduled for Friday, March 21st. My weight on that day was 208 (down 2 lbs due to stomach virus the previous weekend). On Thursday, 3/6 I was informed that I couldn't have my surgery on 3/21 due to it being Good Friday and would I like to have it on Wed. 3/19. So I jumped on it, even though it would mean that I would have to start my liquid diet immediately, without getting my "last meal" in like I'd planned. I've lost 7 lbs in three days and I've even "cheated" a little. LOL @ "cheating"...that means I've had about 300 calories of food (eggs, soup, cheese) per day, in addition to the liquids. I've got to stop that, like now. But I think it's helped me and now I can probably do strictly liquids, that I've gotten over the constant cravings of any and every thing. IF, for some reason, I couldn't have my surgery in a week in a half, if it had to be post-poned until like June or something, and I could go eat whatever I wanted now, honestly I don't know what I'd want. So that's good, for me anyway. Also, late at night when I can't sleep is the worst time for me wanting to snack. Last night was so bad I came thisclose to saying "screw it" altogether, that I would just learn to be a happy fat person. Or just put off my surgery until I got my mind "right" about it (as if that would ever happen). Then it dawned on me that I'd NEVER want to do an all liquid diet and did I really want to have to start this over? NO WAY, so just tough it out. I've been cleaning my house from top to bottom. That has been a saving grace for me, because it has kept me busy and my mind off food. Also, when I'm recouperating, I won't have to worry about my house being clean, other than keeping it straightened up and picking up after myself. My mom will be here to help too, but I don't want her to have to clean up my house, just help me keep up with things and not let it get messy. I don't know what to do with myself from now until surgery. If the weather is pretty, I may take my son to the park. Or I'll just run a lot of errands. So, to recap on the weight. 3/5/08 = 208 lbs (two weeks pre-op) 3/9/08 = 201 lbs (3 days on liquid pre-op)

Oh yes, I'm very familiar with WW. I can't count how many times I've joined over the years. A few times I did really good on it. But mostly, I felt deprived and didn't like the weight coming off so slow. However, I think it could be an advantage to me after my band. I won't feel deprived because I won't be able to eat that much anyway. That's kind of how I have it figured in my mind. I'm very committed to eating a lot of Protein, fruits and veggies. I know "white" food (bread, Pasta, etc) and sweets should be kept to a very minimum, especially until I can get control of my mind and the way I deal with food. Hopefully, after a certain point I won't want it any more. What I would really just love, is that I can go from someone who lives to eat to someone who only eats to live. That would be awesome.

No, I definitely wouldn't tell anyone at WW that I had lapband. I don't plan on telling any other people what I'm having done. I may just keep up with my calories in a food journal and not bother with WW. Just eat what my nutritionist recommends but keep up with it so I can refer to it if I hit a plateau or am having problems losing.

I'm finally over the insane cravings and fantasizing about any and all foods, I feel I'm on the downhill stretch. Only a week and a half to go. Last night, I was so hungry, I thought "screw this, I'm just going to postpone my surgery". But then I realized I'd just have to do this all over again and I'll never want to do a liquid diet and have to dread it. I also thought that being fat wasn't so bad after all. Thankfully, I am doing better now. The only thing is, I'm trying to get my house spotless from one end to the other before my surgery, so I won't have to worry about it for a couple of weeks. I can't seem to clean for very long without needing a break. I need some fuel, as in the carbohydrate variety!!!! Would an egg or two really hurt anything? But I can clean again tomorrow and the next day if I have to. I've lost 7 lbs. since Friday, and I can really see myself becoming addicted to seeing those lbs. drop every couple of days, so that's my incentive to get me through til day of surgery.

I only have a week and half to go until my band. My husband, parents and 3 close friends know and I don't intend to tell anyone else for awhile. When I start losing weight and if I'm bombarded by the inevitable "oh my gosh, how are you doing it" I may tell then. I don't want people watching me like a hawk while I'm in the early stages of losing. What I'm finding hard to not be negative about is the pre-op diet. All this sugar free stuff and liquids leaves a yukky taste in my mouth. At least I've gotten past the undying craving for my favorite foods.