skinnymini

That's what my husband said to me today. He doesn't want to touch me because he said he may hurt me, when words hurt more. I'm a very touchy feely wife. I was like this before surgery, and today I feel 80% better and I wanted to be held but he wouldn't touch me. I wanted to guide him to my scars which have gauze over them. He drew back like I had some abnormalty or something. Before I went in he was fine, until a coupe of days before then he was all like "I don't think I want you to get this done." I thought maybe it was from the death factor, which he said it was, but I'm alive, and here. But now he's all like I've lost my eating partner, and I watch you take 1-2 hours to finish a bowl of oatmeal when it would have normally have taken you about 15 min if that. I told him it's supposed to be this way, in the liquid phase I drink until the hunger is gone. Then I drink more when it comes back. Basically. Then he's all like " For the rest of your life you'll have to see a doctor to make sure what you're eating and drinking isn't affecting you, and you'll have to take pills for the rest of your life." I told him that what he was saying wasn't exactly true, and if he would have been open to going to the meetings with me and the doctor's visits then he may not have felt this way. But I guess to see someone in pain and actually going through it is different. He hates to see me in pain or be in pain himself. But now he's got me crying and he's all apologetic, but his words really hurt me. I thought he was supportive, I mean it's great in theory but when it actually comes time to be supportive you have to be there for a person, not let me eat 4 pretzels :nono:knowing I shouldn't just because I'm having an unbelievable craving. I mean I'm incredibly happy that I began this journey to a better me, but I still can't say that if I would have known that he really felt this way and was just saying that he didn't just so we could stop and so he can stop seeming so unsupportive, that I would have not gone through with this. Does this make me a bad person, a bad wife? Am I pushing? Someone :help: I'm so I just want to scream :angry :pout: what to do :think Marcelle

Thanks to everyone who left words of comfort for me. This is truely helpful at this point, I feel a little more prepared to handle how he's feeling. Thanks again Marcelle

That's what my husband said to me today. He doesn't want to touch me because he said he may hurt me, when words hurt more. I'm a very touchy feely wife. I was like this before surgery, and today I feel 80% better and I wanted to be held but he wouldn't touch me. I wanted to guide him to my scars which have gauze over them. He drew back like I had some abnormalty or something. Before I went in he was fine, until a coupe of days before then he was all like "I don't think I want you to get this done." I thought maybe it was from the death factor, which he said it was, but I'm alive, and here. But now he's all like I've lost my eating partner, and I watch you take 1-2 hours to finish a bowl of oatmeal when it would have normally have taken you about 15 min if that. I told him it's supposed to be this way, in the liquid phase I drink until the hunger is gone. Then I drink more when it comes back. Basically. Then he's all like " For the rest of your life you'll have to see a doctor to make sure what you're eating and drinking isn't affecting you, and you'll have to take pills for the rest of your life." I told him that what he was saying wasn't exactly true, and if he would have been open to going to the meetings with me and the doctor's visits then he may not have felt this way. But I guess to see someone in pain and actually going through it is different. He hates to see me in pain or be in pain himself. But now he's got me crying and he's all apologetic, but his words really hurt me. I thought he was supportive, I mean it's great in theory but when it actually comes time to be supportive you have to be there for a person, not let me eat 4 pretzels :nono:knowing I shouldn't just because I'm having an unbelievable craving. I mean I'm incredibly happy that I began this journey to a better me, but I still can't say that if I would have known that he really felt this way and was just saying that he didn't just so we could stop and so he can stop seeming so unsupportive, that I would have not gone through with this. Does this make me a bad person, a bad wife? Am I pushing? Someone :help: I'm so I just want to scream :angry :pout: what to do :think Marcelle

Ha ha ha... that's what I should do... wait a couple of weeks and jump him. Good Idea Cissy!!!!

Ok... since I just had my surgery on Friday, I can safely say that all the fears you're having, I had and then some. I have a worry wart husband whom I love dearly, but it doesn't help the situation you know? Anyway. You'll be fine. I know this is all pretty much nonexistent to you because you won't believe it until you go through it. But you'll be fine. Find peace within yourself these last hours. Eat something you really loved to have before the surgery. And relax. I think it helped me a lot that I found that inner peace that I wasn't really nervous anymore, and I was pretty much ok with any outcome I had. Remember you're choosing life over death, in one sense or the other. And whomever you worship more than likely won't look down upon you for doing such. Glutony is a sin in my religion. So I took steps to rectify that. I hope that what I've said makes you feel better. But remember to relax, and don't forget that last meal, make sure it's good and one of your favorites. :clap2: and congrats on you being so proactive and doing something to benefit yourself. Marcelle

Thanks Anwyn. He already has low self esteem as it is. Sometimes I wonder does he just hide himself behind me in the first place. I mean I know he loves me, but did he pursue me because he felt as though I was not out of his league. No... what am I talking about, I gave him hell when we first met. I didn't even like him. Now he has my undying love and he has me feeling like crap. Oh well... men you know what they say. :ohwell:

Thanks PhotoNut. I wonder if my husband can be as great about this as your husband is. You guys are the sweetest couple.

Ok family.... it's the morning of surgery and as I sit here at 6:20 AM EST, I think about, of course dying. What a morbid subject. I mean I watch my 2 year old son sleeping in his crib and I couldn't imagine not seeing his face ever again. Tears are brimming my eyes as we speak. And as I blink them back, I tell myself that only less than 1% die from this surgery. I have over a 99% chance of coming home tomorrow. I have a greater chance dying on the way to the hospital or on the way back or a couple of weeks from now from god knows what. Ok. No more talk of dying. I'm gaining a new life here. I still don't feel nervous so don't take that rant above as nervousness. Just reality checking. However, the real reality of the situation is that I weight approx. 320 lbs at 24 years old. I have a 2 year old, and a husband of going on 3 years now. I want more kids!! well atleast 1 more will do. I want a daughter. I want to finish school, I want to earn more money. So the bigger picture here is not dying, but what I have to live for. My hopes and dreams, my goals and aspirations. If I only concentrate on dying, how can I see those things through? How did I become so pessimistic all of a sudden. Probably from listening to my husband, he is the president of the Pessimistic states of Pessimistica. :haha: Yea I know humor this early in the morning, from me? Who knew. Anyway, I will take the optimistic traits of my fellow bandsters and role models. I will not let this get me down, I too will lose 100 lbs or more at my 2 year bandversary. I will look great, feel great and great things are only accomplished from a great attitude. Isn't that great? OK, OK. I guess I'm done ranting and raving. I'll see you guys on the loser side. I will update as soon as we get home on Saturday. And as I approach this fork in the road, I will take the lighter side toward a new me, and leave that dark half behind right where it belongs. :love: Marcelle

Sure thing Theresa. I got my band at St. Agnes Hospital in Baltimore by Dr. Kundeep Singh. He was awesome. Staff was nice. They were pretty busy though on my floor.

I had my surgery done on February 17, 2006 by Dr. Singh at St. Agnes Hospital in Baltimore, Md. No weight lost pre-op. Just maintained at 317

Ok family.... it's the morning of surgery and as I sit here at 6:20 AM EST, I think about, of course dying. What a morbid subject. I mean I watch my 2 year old son sleeping in his crib and I couldn't imagine not seeing his face ever again. Tears are brimming my eyes as we speak. And as I blink them back, I tell myself that only less than 1% die from this surgery. I have over a 99% chance of coming home tomorrow. I have a greater chance dying on the way to the hospital or on the way back or a couple of weeks from now from god knows what. Ok. No more talk of dying. I'm gaining a new life here. I still don't feel nervous so don't take that rant above as nervousness. Just reality checking. However, the real reality of the situation is that I weight approx. 320 lbs at 24 years old. I have a 2 year old, and a husband of going on 3 years now. I want more kids!! well atleast 1 more will do. I want a daughter. I want to finish school, I want to earn more money. So the bigger picture here is not dying, but what I have to live for. My hopes and dreams, my goals and aspirations. If I only concentrate on dying, how can I see those things through? How did I become so pessimistic all of a sudden. Probably from listening to my husband, he is the president of the Pessimistic states of Pessimistica. :haha: Yea I know humor this early in the morning, from me? Who knew. Anyway, I will take the optimistic traits of my fellow bandsters and role models. I will not let this get me down, I too will lose 100 lbs or more at my 2 year bandversary. I will look great, feel great and great things are only accomplished from a great attitude. Isn't that great? OK, OK. I guess I'm done ranting and raving. I'll see you guys on the loser side. I will update as soon as we get home on Saturday. And as I approach this fork in the road, I will take the lighter side toward a new me, and leave that dark half behind right where it belongs. :love: Marcelle

Good Morning All. Thanks for all the well wishes. I was too busy the friday and yesterday regretting my decision. I have all intentions of going walking today. And my 2 year old wants me to pick him up every chance he gets. He gets mad because mommy says no sometimes. Sorry I didn't tell you guys I forgot to add minutes to my phone. But I'll be home for 2 weeks so I'll be on the boards. I'm feeling gas. Sipping my Slimfast low carb and feel a little better today. I can sleep on my side as long as I have a pillow on that side I'm laying on. But thanks every one for all the kind words. You guys are the best support anyone could ask for!!!! :clap2: Much :love: everyone. :hug:Marcelle

I'm home you guys.... and I'm doing well besides the gas thing. And I'm hungry. Thanks for all the well wishes. You'll be hearing more from me soon.

Thanks Keekahari, I hope this works right.

Yes I am and thank you Theresa. I'm from Baltimore. I'm not as nervous as I was before. my surgery was originally scheduled for jan. 20th. So I've been wanting this since this summer that just passed, now everyone's all holding their breath to see if I don't die or something. Next thing will be monitoring every little thing I put in my mount and the stares I'll get If I don't lose... but I have news for them because I will lose. This is the one thing I have wanted all of my life, and now I got it. So we'll see who has the last laugh:heh:

does anyone know how i can make my picture come up next to my name when i post something. i've already added it to my profile. Thanks

Thanks KeeKahari, that's a nice name too... I appreciate all of the well wishes. when did you have your surgery?

I will be banded on Friday February 17th 2006!!! And I'm super excited and scared that I'll regret this decision because I'll fail myself, but that's a different posting.:mmph: