rroswelltx

I wonder how many of you that have been through this as I have notice that if you have children you watch a little closer, you notice a little more. Do you know what I am saying. I have a DD that is 7yrs old and I am so cautious with her. I want so much to try and spare her from anyone violating her. I am not around my grandfather much, and he is very elderly, but I remember the day very clearly that I saw him hold my DD for the first time and it made me wince harshly. Don't get me wrong no matter how old he is he will NEVER be alone with my child. I just wondered if I am alone in this with our children or if everyone does it.... BTW, this thread has really changed, from marriage problems to this, but I can't help but to wonder if for some us they are related????? JMO...

My Journey My weight loss has been a journey, One I never imagined would succeed. After so many years it is so hard, To distinguish between a want, and a need. We need food for survival, But we want it for all the wrong reasons. We use it to celebrate anything, Even the changing of the seasons. Many do not understand, The struggles that we face. Discrimination is running rampant, It’s not always about race. We are so much harder on ourselves, Than anyone else could every think about being. Cause every day in the mirror, It’s our own body we are seeing. There came a time to make a choice, To live or just stop breathing. I had to admit I needed help, But the path would not be easy. Some would say I took the easy way out, Having surgery is not the answer. But those people have never walked a mile in my shoes, Being fat is like a cancer. Having this band inside of me, Is the tool that gives me hope. Some days it really tests me, And I wonder if it’s friend or foe. It has given me the start I needed, It challenges me everyday I’ve worked hard for every pound I’ve lost, For me it was the WAY! My life is so much better, And it gets brighter every day. This journey has taught me oh so much, And I Praise God every time I weigh. So if you have this choice to make, And you’re not quite sure what to do. Don’t worry about what others say, Search your heart and make the choice for you! Written by: Regina Oswell

I think it has hurt me a lot, even though I have dealt with the issue's I have a lot of trust issue's still. I believe it has been what has kept me from ever achieving a real orgasm. I think my subconscious holds me back. I wish I could change that, but i don't know how....

Monk thanks for sharing, your son writes beautiful. I too used to write a lot of poetry, but not so much anymore. the only things I have written in the past couple of years have been one about my DD and one about the lapband. Some of you may have read the one I wrote about the band, but if you haven't I would be happy to share it...

Aimee, you are a gorgeous bride!!!!!!! Thank you so much for sharing. You look awesome and sooo happy!!!! Cathy- congrats- a lot can be said for our renewed self esteem, it projects outwardly and people stop and take notice of the new attitude...

:confused::thinkIt won't let me get to that page!!! I wanna see pics.....

No he never got what he deserved, but I know there is a just reward waiting for him one day! I kept it a secret for a couple of years and then I broke down and told my mom, like you it was a day when thinks weren't discussed much. I didn't get into trouble but my mom (who i adore but sticks her head in the sand alot) explained to me that there are a lot of dirty old men out there, and she would help me stay away from him. I begged her not to tell anyone because I was afraid of hurting my grandma. I put a STOP to it myself and he never touched me again, but it wasn't until I was about 28 yrs old that word got out to my grandma about it, she called and questioned me about it and I told her it was true, she called me a liar and cut me out of her life for many years. She is 92 now and not in good health, we have developed back a slim part of a relationship. A few years ago, I confronted my grandfather about it all face to face, he denied it all of course. But I did it for me to heal not for an apology from him. I knew that would never happen..

Wow this thread just continues to touch people more and more everyday. Monk, you have done a great job of overcoming a horrible expierence. I applaud you. I too was sexually abused as a child by a grandfather, choosing to not give your perputrator(sp?) power over your life and taking control is a very important step. Many people continue to let the person who offended them control there lives well into adulthood. I made a whole lot of terrible decisions in my teen and early adult years because of not dealing with the issue. Never again!!! Thanks for sharing all of your stories...

The problem is that he was out of town when all he$$ broke lose after my gallbladder surgeries, so the debt is not to him. It is to other doctors and the hospital.... I love my band doc and i know that it was a mistake not intentional, but I can't pay these bills...

I am here, going to get another fill today. Haven't posted much, my personal life has been kinda in the crapper lately. My hubby is going through one of his depressed times again, and it always affects the whole family. I get VERY angry during this time. Don't get me wrong, I understand his depression and that is not what makes me angry. What does is the fact that he won't do ANYTHING about it. He won't go and talk to anyone, or take medication, see a doctor nothing, he just wants to wallow in it and hurt all of us in the process. It's that male pride thing that irritates the he$$ out of me. Anyways, back to me, I have been doing ok, I can still eat way to much, hopefully that will change after today, I have been faithfully working out though. My abs are getting stronger pinky so the pain has subsided. Thanks for worrying about me though. I knew when I started working those ab muscles again it was going to be hard. They tore them up during all those surgeries. I am taking a circuit boxing class on Thursday nights, and last week I was sooo mad at DH that I beat that bag so hard, he was lucky it wasn't him, LOL. Momma, you haven't missed anything. I was still thinking about doing something in August, it has just been so hectic lately I haven't been able to do anything. Got a question for everyone, my lap band doctor is the one who performed my gallbladder surgery on me that went so horribly wrong, he has apologized and said he don't know what went wrong. he even has extended my free fills for another year. here is my delima, I have about $1500 in added hospital and doctor bills from the mess up, and I am having a really hard time paying for it. Should I talk to him about it? I don't know what to do, I feel like I am between a rock and a hard place since he is my band doc, but the financial stress is killing me. What would you all do? Any advice or suggestions are welcome...

Hi guys, sounds like you guys are trying to get with it setting your mini goals. I will set one: 150 by labor day (that would put me at my doctors goal) I am at 159 now so 9lbs away. I have been working out hard again, but my incision from my surgery is hurting soooo bad. I guess when they cut your abdominal muscle 9 inches that is to be expected, but it really hurts.... Lets get motivated and stay that way girls!!!! RAH, RAH, RAH!!!!! POODLES???? Are you ok, let us hear from you! Also, I so wish Lucy would come back and tell us if she is ok!!!!!

Got my fill yesterday, they put me at 1.8, hope I have some restriction. I am starving on liquids though. Poodles, I am so sorry you are having so many problems. We will support you no matter what you decide to do. My surgery last friday was done the same way they do the endoscopy and they looked at my band as well. So I guess I am good. Have a great 4th everyone!!! Poodles if you need to talk you know where I am! Love you all!!!!!

WOW Momma you look awesome!!! Great Job! Ok guys here in the DFW area or anyone wanting to travel a little. Looking to put a dinner together for all of us to meet. Need some input on some stuff. wanting to do it in August but not sure is a friday or saturday is best for most of those interested. Also need votes on Garland or Rockwall. Send me some PM's if you want and tell me what you think.... I leave in 10 minutes for my fill.....

Hey guys just thought I would check in and let you know surgery went VERY good. They knocked me out and I was awake 15 minutes later, yes I said 15 minutes. I didn't even believe I had been asleep. They got the stint out with out any problems. Since he went down through my espophogus he said my band looked great no erosion or anything and pouch was good. He pumped me up a little by telling me that only gaining 6 or 7 lbs when being unfilled for 3 months was awesome. Thanks so much for the thoughts and prayers guys. I was really nervous. No on to getting my fill again on Monday, WHAHOO. I will have to retrain myself all over again. Small bites, chew, chew, chew and no more of that bad stuff!!! Hubby and I joined LA fitness this week. Finally have gotten him on the workout train and trying to lose weight, he was up to about 320 and was worrying me, but now he has the scale moving down too and has the weight loss bug, he has lost 40lbs in 2 1/2 months. (boy men can lose so much faster) But I am so proud of him. To all of you that have checked in after posting so long, you guys have done awesome. Please post more regular, we miss you all!!!!!!!

Ok this logging on everytime is for the birds!!! Glad you all had a great time! Did everyone show? (Lucyman) I worried about that the whole time wondering.... Well I have my last surgery this friday (29th), and I have set an appt for my FILL! YEAH! on July 2nd., after being unfilled for so long I am going to have to retrain myself. I hate that after a year it was so hard to return to the bad habits...

WOW! can relate to so many of you! I have ben married for 7 1/2 years to a man who doesn't drink, womanize and loves to spend time with his family. However he does have a rude streak a mile wide that he marks off as just joking all the time. That alone though is not to bad but when you become non intimate it does tricks on a womans pyschy. Let me explain. I got pregnant immediately when we got married, we were very sexually active until then. I had a horrible pregnancy and did not feel like having sex, so after being rejected for those months he stopped asking. I gained a lot of weight during the pregnancy and so did he. After I had the baby I would come on too him and he would reject me. I thought at first that he was getting back at me for my previous rejection, then as time rolled on I thought he had "Mother of my child syndrome" which is where he no longer see's me as a sexual woman but just as a mom. Then as child got older it couldn't be that. It must be me. We would have sex maybe 2 times a year and that was always following a big blow up about me not getting what I need from him ( it would only last minutes). He said he would do better have sex with me and then it would never happen again till 8 or 9 months down the road when I would blow up again. Then after 6 years had gone by his "JOKING" started to really piss me off. I mean if the only attention your getting is negetive joking then your self confidence goes on vacation. Now my hubby always says he loves me with all his heart and does kiss me (peck) hi and bye and would often hold my hand or put his arm around me. But I needed to be desired as a woman, I needed a more intimate touch. I just wans't getting any of that. I told myself that when I lost weight it would be different. He would tell me that it wasn't me, that he didn't know why he didn't have a desire for sex. I had him go to the Dr.s they even gave him pills to try, to this day the pill bottle seal has never been broken. Everything checked out good medically but still nothing changed. June 2006 I got banded by October I had lost 75lbs and was then less than when we got married. Still nothing changed> I felt that it might have to do with his weight but he would never admit it, he was probably pushing 330 by now. I was now getting all kinds of compliments from other's and turning some heads but not my hubby's. It devastated me. We were fighting all the time, I had so much anger towards him. In december I told him that I was through with our marriage, not because I didn't love him but because I didn't feel he loved me. I was tired of being hurt by his words and not feeling any love. He told me once again how much he loved me and couldn't take loosing me. I told him that I had heard that for the last time, he could tell me that till he was blue in the face but actions spoke louder than words. For 1 week I lived with him, like I didn't care anymore but inside my heart was breaking. He cried and we talked over and over but I would not change my stance. Then like usuall after our blow ups he came on to me, but this time I said NO. I would not let myself be sucked into having sex once then going right back to where we was. He tried every night from that point forward and for 1 week I continued to turn him down telling him I just couldn't because I didn't trust him. I was not going to let him break my heart again. Then after a week I finally gave in but before I did I told him if i made love to him that he had to realize that I was doing so because I wanted to trust him and believe in his love for me and if he stopped trying again that it would be something I could never recover from. When he made love to me that night it was different than any other time he had done it just to get me to shut up. He made me feel loved and desired. Since then our whole lives has changed. we make love at least 2 times a week now, we don't fight very much, and we have grown closer than ever. We have a new respect for eachother. He now has gained his self confidence back and he is trying to lose weight, he is down about 40lbs now. I am a christian and too believe that I couldn't leave my marriage unless he was unfaithful. don't know if I would have truly left him back then or not, but I was NOT going to let him know that. I stood my ground and made him realize what he was doing to me. Now we are so close he can't take his hands off me sometimes. I guess I wrote this book to make you all see that I have been there and I definetly sympathize. You are not alone, but sometimes it does get better. There was many years when I never thought it could but by the grace of God it did. Thanks for listening.

Thanks Lisa... Did ya'll hear from lucymann is she NOT going or you guys just haven't heard. I hope she is ok!!!! Have fun guys, we wish we were there!!!!

I have posted pics alot of times in the past but today if I try to upload a jpg file it tells me it is an invaled jpg file, I even tried the same pics I've posted before and it is doing the same thing, has something changed that doesn't allow me to upload my photo's. They are way under the size limit too. Please help...

Thanks for the compliment. I feel fat with the gain but when I look at what I used to be, then it doesn't fel so bad. LOL I am not sure what the name was either, but I don't believe there was an angel formation in there, this one is where they had found a saber tooth tiger remains and stuff. We were just killing time. But i had remembered that we had taken some pics from 2003 when we went to one so I found them to do a comparison. You all ready for Vegas?

It works now, thank you very much!

Hey everyone, this month is my 1 yr anniversary so I thought I would post some new pics, I have been unfilled for 2 1/2 months now due to gallbladder surgery complications. Hopefully will get a fill again in August. The before pics were taken when I went through a cave with my family in 2003, and the new ones are from last week on vacation when we went through a cave.

I thought I would go ahead and post a couple pics even though I have gained a few pounds back. The first 2 are taken of my family and me in when we went through a cave in 2003, and the last 2 were taken last week when we went through a cave..

Hey guys, I just got back in town from vacation. Family and I went to Branson, MO for a week and we had a BLAST!! However, my unfill is catching up with me, I have been unfilled for 2 1/2 months now, and have done well but now I am gaining, I have only gained about 8lbs, but I feel and look fatter, my clothes are getting tighter, I eat ALL the time. I am so mad at myself!!! I have 3 more weeks b4 I can get filled, I have to get through my last surgery on June 29th, then I can get filled first of August. I can't wait!!!! I hope ya'll have a blast in Vegas. For all you guys around the DFW Texas area, (and anyone else who wants to drive a little, LOL) would ya'll be interested in having a get together like for dinner somplace, in like Rockwall or Garland area? Let me know if anyone would be interested and I can put something together!!! For all the bandaversaries I missed, CONGRATS!!!!! I hope to get back with it soon!!!! Take care guys!!!

You guys who posted pics all look awesome, I will try to post a pic soon. Today is my 1 year!!! Man it went by fast... I have been unfilled since May 11th and it is sooo hard, but when i got unfilled I was 160, and I am now 158, so I am maintaining, even though I was down to 154 after I got out of the hospital... I hope you guys have a blast in Vegas, are ya'll going next week?

Im alive and doing good. I have my next surgery June 29th. So i won't be able to be filled again til August. Thanks for asking.... My year is up June 8th on thursday..... Happy bandaversary everyone.