Monica S

I may be moving to Buffalo in September of this year. Are there any bandsters from that area? Any good band doctors you know of up there?

I have no problems taking pills of any size. I can take several at once. I may need a fill, but even when I was very tight I could always take pills with no problem.

Besides food, is anyone out there addicted to anything else? Or have you ever been addicted to anything else? I used to use drugs, and I also used to smoke cigarettes but have quit both. (although I recently had a relapse and am struggling to deal with it). I wish there was a forum like this one for people to support each other staying off drugs. Anyone know of anything like this? Google searches only yield sites that don't have much traffic. If you are banded, how has that affected your other addictions?

Hi everyone, I am about 15 months out of surgery, and feel very discouraged. I have lost 13 lbs. in all and have about 120 left to go. I don't feel the band helps me because I don't eat out of hunger, I am an emotional eater and the band doesn't do anything for your emotions. I recently met with my doctor and am trying to willpower my way through. But it makes me so sad and I really feel like a failure. I mean, who but me has bariatric surgery and then doesn't lose weight? If I could tell you how people who know about my surgery look at me...mix of disgust, pity and amazement. I am seeing a therapist, and I am spending time on eating disorders recovery websites (something fishy is really good). I feel sure now that I have an eating disorder. I had it before I was banded but didn't know it until I realized that my hunger level has nothing to do with how much I want to eat. So now I'm like, Oh, I have an eating disorder, not a hunger problem, and thinking that the whole band thing was a big mistake for me. I vomit a lot, but keep eating. I just throw up, eat more, throw up, eat more, and so on. It really sucks. I just feel really bad about myself right now. Like a total failure. And ashamed, and embarrassed, and alone. I even feel alone in regretting getting the band. I don't know what I'm looking for here, just thought I'd put myself out there and hope that the universe comes together to support me.

This might be redundant because I'm the one who started this thread, but YES, you can binge with the lap band, and YES, the things I binge on flow right through the band. Something to think about.

Thanks for the warm fuzzy cyber hugs!!! To answer your question, I work out pretty hard 3-4 times a week. It helps a lot. Maybe I'll bump it up to 5-6 times a week. I had a decent week, and ate my band diet Monday through Thursday last week. I ended up bingeing on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday though. There's just something about the weekends. This week I'm going to try and keep all chocolate to one day instead of three. Baby steps, right? I also bought "Overcoming Overeating" and it seems very interesting. A much different perspective than I've ever thought about. It also doesn't help that it's still snowing here in Western New York, and freezing! The gloomy weather makes me want to binge on chocolate, watch tv, and sleep all the time. If I didn't have work and the gym I probably would never leave the house.Thanks for all the support, I can't tell you all how much it means to have a place I can vent.Monica

I love to read. A good novel is a great escape. I was thinking about learning how to knit. That sounds fun.

Thank you for the tip on relaxation. Does anyone else have any additional practical advice? I really appreciate suggestions regarding stuff I can actually use. Advice like "address your issues" is solid advice, but not as helpful. If you eat emotionally, what do you do instead? What have you learned to do/how have you learned to cope since you stopped using food as coping mechanism? I am interested in learning what has worked for other people so I can find what works for me. So far I have tried journaling, exercise, and talking it out. None works as well as chocolate! At least, not yet. Any other suggestions? What is it like for you?

If anyone has success with CDs or relaxation or anything, please let us know about your experiences! I hate that so many of us are suffering with similar problems, but it does feel so comforting to know I'm not a total freak.

Karenb,You ask some good questions. I'm going to answer them.When did I decide it was okay to be obese? I don't remember ever deciding it was "okay", but because my mom and other family members are obese I also never thought it wasn't okay. I always thought that obese people (because I loved them) are still okay people, and are still worthwhile and loveable. I don't think I want to change my mind on this one.When did I decide I was not worth the effort? I guess a long time ago. Even before the band I was unable to value my body. Because I do like some parts of myself but don't like my body, I learned to view my body as something other than me, something outside of myself. I thought the band was going to force me to lose weight, and then I would begin to value my body again because it would be smaller and therefore more valuable. That didn't work. I hate my body so much, and it's hard to believe I'm worth more.When did I decide to settle for less? When I did not lose weight on the band despite efforts to eat right. (I have not been eating poorly the whole time, at first I stuck to the band diet but only lost a few pounds.) When it did not work as I expected it to, I stopped believing it could work. I don't have faith that it, or anything, can help me anymore. I don't believe I am able to eat differently. And even if I do, I don't believe I am capable of losing weight. I know intellectually that this is faulty thinking, but it seems impossible and makes me want to hide under the covers.So how did you make changes after your epiphany? Did you realize you are worth it and then it just happened for you? Any ideas about how I can force myself into a similar epiphany? I want one too, just don't know how to go about it and I feel so, so stuck.

Thanks for the advice. Yes, I have had fills. I am now at 3.2 ccs in a 4 cc band. I still need another fill, though, and plan to get one soon. Yes, I eat around the band, and it is easy for me to do so. The foods I eat are liquids, like ice cream and chocolate. I try and try not to do it but I keep messing up. I want to be a better bandster, I want to do it right. I just don't know anymore if I can. My self-efficacy is quite low at the moment. I am happy for you, Jack, that you have found a way to overcome your overeating. I hope that one day I'm able to do the same thing. I'm not giving up, but that's all I'm able to promise at the moment.

Thank you so much for the support. I haven't found the answer yet, but just trying not to eat when I'm not hungry. The band works for food like burgers and fries, but ice cream and chocolate (my problem foods) are like liquids and the band doesn't help. It's so funny, gentlespirit, but if I were faced with a stressful situation like that with your son, I would turn to chocolate too! And it WOULD make me feel better! If anyone finds a way out of this cycle, I would be so grateful to hear about it.

I was banded in Nov. 2005 and have only lost 13 lbs. for the same reasons you mention. I am in therapy but it's slow going. I feel the same way you do. I don't know what the answer is, but wanted to let you know you're not alone, not by a long shot.

Well one thing to think about is this: it is very, very easy to throw up once you have the band. I don't have to stick anything down my throat--if I eat too much all I have to do is look at the toilet and bend over and it all comes back up. So if you don't have the bulimia thing totally under control, it could come back with a vengeance. I think the band actually MADE me bulimic and I wasn't beforehand. I am one of the few on these boards who regrets the band. I wish I would have had the bypass instead, and it's because of my eating disorder issues. If your doctor doesn't want to do the band, consider bypass instead. Because, after all, a lot of us have found ways to "eat around the band" and if you have a history of eating disorder you might do that too. And you don't lose weight when you eat around the band, but the E.D. mindset is too hard to change once it's this easy. The band has been a huge waste of time and money for me. Maybe one day I will be able to use it as it was intended, but my thinking around food is not healthy and it's probably not going to work for me until I get a lot of therapy. Feel free to PM me if you want to hear any more about my experience or share yours!

I understand not wanting to tell your doctor because you don't want to lose the option. I don't know what I would do in your shoes, but I do understand just wanting what you want and not wanting to hear "no". I'm not bulimic but I'm a compulsive overeater, and I think the band hasn't been good for me in some respects. I never stopped overeating, I just throw up a lot. So the band has made it easy for me to get rid of food if I'm uncomfortable, also, I think I'm overfilled and am planning to have some fluid taken out soon. I told my surgeon that I am a compulsive overeater before the surgery but I don't think he took it that seriously. I guess he assumed that everyone who comes in the door is.

Hi All, I've just moved from Texas to Buffalo, NY and am seeing a new doctor. I have been instructed to go on the South Beach Diet in order to facilitate weight loss. I've not been doing very well on the band. I lost 40 lbs in 11 months and then regained 12 in the past 6 weeks. Anyone had success with South Beach? Anyone not had success with the band? Apparently I'm a rare case. Lucky me. Monica

Good advice all, thanks for the tips.

Just ran across this and thought it was interesting. Hope you do too! http://www.nytimes.com/2006/10/11/dining/11snac.html?pagewanted=1&ei=5070&en=4ab5430b7c9b9e5b&ex=1161316800&emc=eta1

Anyone from the Buffalo area? I just moved here and am looking for a band doctor. Thought I'd check and see if there's anyone who comes recommended. Thanks! Monica

Thanks! I'd also be very grateful if anyone in the Buffalo area can recommend a decent general practitioner/family practice doctor. Nobody I work with would recommend their own doctor!

Hi! I just moved here to Buffalo, NY, and am looking to chat with any WNY bandsters. Are you still there? Monica

I have to admit, I do. I have only lost 35 lbs in 8 months. I wish I had had the gastric bypass instead. I don't care if it's not as healthy. Weighing 245 isn't healthy either. I hope that one day I become happy with my decision. Am I alone here? It seems from these forums that nobody but me would have done it differently.

I think so too! It's okay to wonder what if, and not to defend your decision to the death. If you're happy with your decision, GREAT! More power to you. But it sure is nice to be able to discuss alternative feelings with people who understand. Even if it is only about the grass being greener on the other side. :eek:

You know, me either. I feel like my doctor didn't give me a good rundown of complications. He pretty much told me everything will be fine and complications are very, very rare and not to worry about it. Could it be that people with complications tend to use these forums more than people who don't have complications? Or was my doctor too casual about the risk? I wonder.

Oh, I didn't think you were! But thank you for your caring response. This might sound crazy, but right now I don't care at all about the possible complications. I just want to be thin!