LittleLizzieLilliput

On 10/10/2016 I had my Vertical Gastric Sleeve. OH MAN has it been a crazy 14 months!! It's hard to even think back on this time without wonder. It seems so long ago and yet just yesterday. I went from dying to flying, it's truly unbelievable to me. I wanted to take this time to kind of lay out what my 14 months looked like and where I am at now. I started this journey 4 years ago and this was me then: I start on this journey doing a full liquid diet for 16 months. I lost 200 lbs. I then gained back about 60. And then I started getting sick, very sick. I ended up in the hospital, was told I needed to do the VGS or look at dying in the next few years. So VGS it was!! lol! I was not a voluntary patient, it was thrust upon me and I was scared, I didn't want to permanently change my relationship with food but I also knew that choosing food was choosing death. So of course I had the surgery. The first few months were rough, as most of you know our stomachs are like testy newborns and there are a lot of growing pains and learning curves. By about 3 months I was on solid food and starting to try different things. By 6 months I was moving beyond just Protein and safe foods to some adventurous spices, I was starting to exercise to a much higher degree. I was now walking 4-7 miles a day and feeling AMAZING! By 9 months out I was moving into a size 12, SIZE 12!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG! I remember being so astounded. I started going out on dates, I started feeling like I might be getting a life I never even dreamed was a possibility for me. By around 10 months I started experiencing some crazy hormone symptoms. Now, I had already dealt with some hormone related issues but by this point I wasn't getting my period, I was having the bizarre mood swings, I was crying one day, then up like crazy the next. I also started having a lot of issues with my diabetes meds. My weight loss was not making my diabetes go away, in fact, it is now getting harder to control. So I spent most of July, August and Sept going from specialist to specialist. I was switching my meds and basically felt like I was a walking drug trial. But then by the end of September everything smoothed out hormone wise. I was put on a birth control that regulated my estrogen. I guess my weight loss was flooding my system with hormones and then when it would drop off my body would respond like I was in menopause. What a nightmare! lol! At this point I am also close to being put on insulin. Unfortunately when my gallbladder went bad it damaged my pancreas to the point it won't ever recover. I dealt with that blow, adjusted my life again to deal with this and just moved on. Reverse back to July of this year and that is when I took my first Yoga class. This also changed the direction of my journey. I began doing a C1 (like Yoga 101) class daily. By September I was feeling like a pro and starting to take some of the harder classes. Flash-forward to today and I do daily advanced Yoga (I call it Bootcamp Yoga, it's a mix between Yoga and Cross Fit I think). I can plank for 5 minutes, I can do 200 crunches, I do squats and lunges, I do like 40 pushups, I run, I do handstands, I cartwheel, jump-rope, etc. I am in the BEST physical condition of my life and I expect it to just continue. In fact, I jokingly/not jokingly say I'm aiming towards American Ninja Warrior. I want to be that strong and badass. Today I am 14 months post op, I am in a size 10 about to move on from there, I am toning my body like crazy, still dropping about 1/2 a day if I go hard on my exercise. My daily food diary is so simple yet perfect for me: Breakfast 6 pieces of precooked, then microwaved, Hormel Black Label bacon (sometimes, when I'm really hungry I'll put 8 slices on that sucker and make it a dagwood sandwich, lol) 1 slice American cheese 1 Blueberry or Cinnamon Raisin English Muffin lunch grilled chicken - 4 ozs grilled Zuccini/other veggie snack Omega-3 mixed dried fruit and nuts 1/4 cub dinner KFC grilled chicken, leg and thigh grilled veggies/sometimes I have some mashed potatoes Usually have a reasonable dessert of some kind. I find it's important. Vitamins I do Vitagene, which is where they send me Vitamins based on my blood work, DNA, and other stuff. LOVE them, eat them after dinner though usually people have a Breakfast I am still quite diabetic, they are unsure if I'm type 1 or type 2, but if that's my biggest health worry??? I'm happy!! I do have some down sides, I get Dumping Syndrome. My doc kind of implied it's because of poor food choices but after 9 months of tracking I can now say this - there is almost NO through line to determine cause. It can happen when I just have Protein or if I drink Water too fast, it can happen with sugars or if I eat grilled veggies. The most common factor is time. It seems to most frequently happen in the evenings. And I do get quite sick to the point I have to go hid and do this breathing/huffing thing and then often sleep between 30 minutes and 6 hours. Because of this I stick very closely to the routine I listed above. But that is a life issue I have no problem dealing with. This is me today, or, actually, this weekend. lol! I feel like a brand new person. This journey is hard, I had regrets, I had tears, some days I wished I'd never done it, other days I wished I'd had it done 20 years ago. I sometimes feel like I wasted half my life and other days I feel like I gained a whole new life. This journey is one of ups and downs and every single hill and valley has been a wondrous experience.

fantastic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I eat the tops off of pizza all the time! No bread for me.

This should pass for you fairly soon. Though, to tell you the truth, if I eat to fast I STILL get that and I'm 17 months post op now.

your body redistributes the fat as the years go by, it's not uncommon to not fit in something you did long ago even at the same weight. I'd recommend not doing this clothes thing for a while if it's upsetting to you. There are so many ways to measure your success, finding one that depresses you is the opposite of a good idea. lol! You should measure yourself, your head, neck, biceps, wrists, breasts, waist, hips, thighs, calves and ankles. Then do that every 6 weeks. Also, try to remember this is a marathon, not a sprint. Even though this is much faster than a regular diet resulting in weight it's not going to fly off of you, thought it feels that way sometimes. lol! As long as you stick to your protocol: Protein, water, 10K steps a day, vitamins - as long as you stick with those this will work for you and if you maintain that priority it will stay off. Hang in there! If you are feeling discouraged I recommend putting on some happy music, throwing on some sneakers and get out there and walk walk walk!! I always feel better after a good 30 minute brisk walk!

Anyone who says it's the easy way out is speaking from pure ignorance. Everything is super exciting and new, everything is better, the only thing that I miss is gorging on food but I don't miss the guilt afterwards, the pain, the obesity and the early dying.

If they are pureed there is pretty much no problem except for the amount of carbs in veggies and fruits. My nut doesn't want me doing smoothies because I could end up putting in a TON of sugar into my diet and that's a killer for me. So no smoothies due to calorie and sugar restrictions, not digestive restrictions.

I'm boring! Peanut butter. I'm an addict. lol!

Oh no, at this point I'm at about 1000-1200 per day. I eat too much bacon for 700 calories in a day. lol!!!!

My surgeon said stretching was pretty unlikely as they remove all the stretchy parts of the stomach. I just follow my protocol of focusing on Protein first. Then I fill up on Chicken or Pork, majority of my calories and nutrition are obtained because I focus on Protein, then veggies, then complex carbs.

Pulled pork is AWESOME, I just stay away from the sauces and of course the fatty parts. Pork and Chicken are my go-to proteins.

I am always joking and laughing, I am a very happy person - which can really piss a lot of people off, and many feel it's disingenuous or an act - people who are moody often don't trust people who are happy. It's something I've learned in life. lol!! I try to curb my humor here though as these are very serious topics and sometimes it's literally life and death as it's very dangerous in the first few months post surgery. I don't like to go too far over the satirical line here as many aren't coming here to see a comedy show, they are here dealing with the scariest thing they've ever done. But don't get me wrong, I love a good Smurf d**k joke!!!

Even at 16 months out I will feel quite ill if I eat too fast. I get dumping syndrome - regardless of sugar content in food - if I eat my 1/4 oz in under 1 hour I can be quite ill for a long time. I get weak, can't talk, can't move, have never thrown up but do this weird horrible breathing thing and then I fall asleep for a period of time between 20 minutes and 6 hours. It's horrible. I can't stress enough to be careful when eating and give yourself time. Most days it's fine but when it's bad I can't do anything and it puts my entire life on hold while I have medical event happening. I try to maintain my good attitude and sense of humor about it. I say that I'd much rather have this horribly sick feeling than be morbidly obese and dying. So there's that. hahah!

If your body is moving...it counts!!!!!!!!! It's really that simple.

Oh man, I'm so sorry, I know how hard these Pauses can be!! Let me ask you a few questions: In that time period have your pants continuted to feel looser? Have you measured yourself to see where your body is changing and shrinking? These things still happen even when the scale doesn't move. Because you are dropping fat and building muscle, Muscle weights more than fat so its very easy to be sculpting and changing your body, dropping 2 or 3 sizes and NEVER drop a single ounce of weight. For reals. I spent 12 weeks not losing a pound but I went from a 16 to a 10. Second question, do you have a counselor or some kind of support person you can talk to? It sounds to me like you have a lot on your shoulders, a house, kids, your health, trying to manage your new eating, exercising, trying to achieve all your goals and working tirelessly to do everything for everybody. That's too much for anyone after a certain point!! Of course you spent the day in bed crying and eating crap you know you shouldn't eat, you had a mini-breakdown as I call them. lol! And who could blame you????? But of course you can't keep doing that because of your health and your life responsibilities. So you know what I did? I talked to my GP doctor and told her about my out of control emotions, my inability to handle frustration, that while I am the most healthy I've ever been I'm also the most miserable, WHY??? So she explained to me that I just have too much on my plate (Pun totally intended!! lol!), I'm juggling work, my health, my meds, my exercise, my crazy food needs, my home, etc. So I went on a generic Lexapro, could not be happier with my choice!! She said that our bodies go through crazy changes with this level of weight loss and it's easy for the brain chemistry to become unbalanced. She put me on the meds for a 12 month period. I'm on month 2 and it feels like a life saver. Third question, what do you do to reward and pamper yourself in a non-food way? I always recommend a massage & mani/pedi. Another thing I do to keep myself motivated is make sure I get my 10K steps in everyday, the endorphins really help our brains right now when we are doing all this crazy stuff. Cause not only are we affected physically with hormones and brain-chemistry and weight loss, but we are also affected emotionally from no longer having the same emotional crutches. And food was our biggest self-soother. I would recommend seeing a therapist as well if you can. It really helped me the first year as I needed to purge these feelings and had a lot of issues dealing with frustrations and upset now that I couldn't shove 3000 calories worth of chicken strips and fries in my face. lol! Seriously, i was shocked at how hard it was dealing with life when I couldn't just eat away my worries. Hang in there, you are doing something wonderful for yourself and your kids. Your misery right now is both emotional and brain chemistry driven. If you are following the protocol and meeting all your goals, Protein, water, 10K steps, vitamins, than your body is changing and evolving - even if the scale doesn't move! The scale is only part of our story. You are going to do great love, I really believe it!

bring powder packets with you when you travel. Those were not taken away from me. I also made sure to check out the in-room menu before traveling, see if they can make eggs for you 24/7. I think eggs are a great travel food in this stage because they are usually soft, you can get them lots of places and they taste great if you like egg.

This right here. Occasionally, when out with people I will have fork full of rice or a small taste of pasta, but it takes me an hour to eat 1/4 c of my protein I've ordered. The only time I'm not eating protein is when I'm eating soft veggies or nuts. lol! I allow myself a treat every now and then but in general I stick really hard to the protocol, even 16 months out. I think you hit the nail on the head with this comment!

http://theworldaccordingtoeggface.blogspot.com/2007/08/pureed-foods.html The world according to Eggface is pretty much my bible. I linked you to the pureed foods stage.

Mine was VERY similar. And my doc said no rice/pasta ever really....

That is wonderful!! Congratulations!!!

A leak is extremely painful. Stomach acids are leaked into your abdominal cavity. People have said it feels like burning cutting pain and is extremely painful with vomiting and fever.

I was the same way!! I found the Unjury Protein Chicken Broth was my life saver. It has a ****-ton of sodium so you won't lose a ton of lbs cause you will retain water but it got me to the pureed stage and then I lost the water weight.

I can't eat rice. First, one roll slice will fill you up. Rice expands and it's not fun. Second, rice was really hard to digest and had me spitting up for hours. Third, I wouldn't consider rice on the "soft foods" list. Do you have list of foods taht fall under that description? Maybe a rice pudding? But then it's all sugar and carbs. Rice is one of my "rarely ever eat again" foods, sushi as well. I get chicken teriyaki when I go to a japanese restaurant.

I find that focusing on my water, 10K steps per day and protein goals helps me refocus. Water and Protein help the body fight off hunger. Hitting the 64oz of water minimum and trying to get 90 g protein keep me from being hungry. Getting out and walking 3 times a day to hit my 10K steps keeps my mind focused and my body busy. I put on energetic music and get out there! The sun, fresh air and activity boost my serotonin which helps with my attitude which helps me be happy about my goals. Additionally, Peanut Butter. lol! It's my happy place. When I feel a little snacky I scoop a tablespoon of peanut butter & nibble away slowly, filled with proteins and fats and not much carbs.

I'm the opposite. lol! I can mostly eat Chicken and Pork, very little else. I will be crap at suggestions. But we have some dedicated Vegans here who I'm sure can give you an array of suggestions!