So I'm 2 months post-op tomorrow and have been dealing with severe regret and depression since day 1 post-op. Everyone tells me it will go away, that once I see the weight loss that I will be happy that I choose to have surgery. I'm still not happy, despite the weightloss. Couple the regret with depression, it's like I'm just existing, not living. I tell everyone that I feel like I died on the operating table, not in the physical sense, but in every way else...like I'm just a shell. I know that sounds morbid but I can't help it. I'm angry and jealous of my family to the point that I feel it turning to hate. They continue to cook and order my favorite foods and stuff their face around me...they never gain weight but of course I did even I just looked at it it seems. I was never this spiteful or angry, depressed before surgery. I'm 21 years old, and the thought of living a 'diet lifestyle' forever just makes it worse. I don't want to make the changes that I'm forced to make I don't want to have to do macros and log everything forever in fear of gaining weight. I was advised to look online to groups, and when I do I see all these people who jump down people's throats for what they consume..that they avoid carbs ever since the surgery... that we can't eat this or that ever again and I go deeper into depression. I just don't think this was for me....I just want to be a normal person who can go out without worry, someone who doesn't have to look at labels everytime she wants to consume something, someone who doesn't have to worry about 'dumping'.... sorry for venting.
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