BigTexasMandy

@PatientEleventyBillion you're really invested in proving me wrong and bringing me down... why is that? what's so wrong in your life that you can't just f**k off? there, how's that for being direct and honest?

I didn't say every weight loss surgery patient, I said not everyone and I sincerely believe people are capable of change. If you don't, why are you on here and why did you get surgery? Why don't you just eat all you can and die? It's not black and white as I stated.

I feel you like people just don't get it.

Ultimately, I posted this because I was frustrated with the way in which some people responded to the people on the forums. I feel that many overweight people are stereotyped and have likely had little compassion for their situation. In my opinion, compassion and patience do not equal coddling per say. Tough love doesn't mean being rude; it represents honesty and a genuine willingness to help someone. Perhaps I was a bit unhinged and didn't completely express myself as I would have liked in the initial post. I do not disagree with being honest by any means, but as some have mentioned, there's a difference between being honest and being rude. Bluntness can be necessary, and I agree there are many posts in which people are seeking justification for bad choices. Additionally, I should say that when you post something on the internet asking for advice, you should show the same respect towards the people who are genuinely looking out for you and ignore those who are taking the time to be hurtful and mean. My post is mostly to say that I wish people wouldn't assume something about a situation, stereotype weight loss surgery patients (especially those who are WLS-patient's themselves), and to in general show kindness to one another. Outside of this community is already flush with judgment and it would be nice if we could just be nice. I appreciate everyone who contributed their thoughts, and I apologize if I didn't accurately express my feelings. I did not intend come across as we should live in a world with rainbows, unicorns, and sunshine all the time. I simply mean to say, that you should think about what the person is asking, consider if what you're writing truly expresses what you mean to say, and if it's worth saying what you have to say.

What's on your bucket list now that you've had surgery? I know this might be a post that's come up a lot, but I wanted to read some fresh responses!

I am a new user and did not realize there was a place to rant. I posted under this topic because it's where I am at in my process... Is there a way to move a post?

Haha, you're absolutely right! People are weird. I hope you're enjoying farm life!

And your reply won't change how people are either... did it feel productive what you said? Do you feel as if you changed me and my whininess? I believe this post stated this was a vent/rant... I wonder how calling my whiny will change my opinion or improve your life...

I can definitely agree with what you're saying and perhaps I went a little off the deep end in my opinions. My post ultimately was to address that sometimes someone asks a question and instead of getting a straightforward answer, they get someone who's going on and on with the tough love thing (which fine, I can't stop anyone from doing that) but doesn't even answer the questions directly. It's like people are on a campaign to bring people down when they don't know the motivation behind the question. It wasn't as if the person said, "Yes/No, ice cream is okay at stage ABC. However, don't forget that ice cream can be a slider food." They didn't address the question at all and determined that because someone had a question about ice cream, they had issues with ice cream.

I definitely agree. And perhaps my hunger-laden post did not express that. I don't disagree that in some instance people need a firm hand or some straightforward talking to, but the way in which people speak to one another is very disappointing. I just wonder if some people would actually say certain the things they say to someone's face. I mean to a stranger's face they just met. Maybe they would...

Ha, thank you. (that's supposed to be a popsicle)

My point is that who are we to decide who needs coddling and who doesn't? You read a few words in a forum or blog and you know what they need emotionally? Additionally, how does a yes or no question warrant a lecture? I agree there are posts in which people are asking for an opinion and get what they ask for, but I think people give their opinions when no one asked them. I realize that's the way of the internet, but I just think that a lot of people don't know what someone is going through and it couldn't hurt to show a little human decency. Human decency does not necessarily equal coddling... in fact, perhaps I did not convey this particularly well, but my point was that sometimes questions warrant no emotion whatsoever. In my opinion, people who favor the tough love approach with strangers probably have some issues facing things themselves. Not everyone is a piece of crap and sometimes tough love makes people feel that way. Additionally, there's a difference between tough love and being outright rude.

Unfortunately, it can. I do know that you can't prevent anyone from having an opinion, but sometimes I just don't understand the why and when someone chooses to share that opinion. People don't understand how their words can affect some people. That's more the point I was hoping to make. And yes, this liquid diet has made me rather adversarial!

I definitely agree with you in that we are all different and handle things differently. And sometimes debate and conversation is warranted. I think what I'm trying to say is that people really jump to providing criticism or opinions in situations where it isn't warranted.

I'm feeling this way too. I'm not even a week out, but I really miss the ability to just eat a tasty piece of pizza. Or have a migas taco. The cravings and desire were not cut out with the surgery. It makes me sad to think I'll forever have to do things in a different way. Or that I'll be the difficult one when it comes to choosing where to go out to eat. Or yeah, just not being able to have a sandwich... it's heartbreaking. I hope it gets easier when the weight drops, but IDK.