Admanda
I hope the support you receive from this site is enough to keep you encouraged, in the mean time I would suggest that you seek out a qualified and licenced therapist to hear your concerns. It could make a huge difference in your being successful in your surgery goals.
As far as your other half, he has some decisions to make about the relationship because he what he is doing is a form of abuse, and being abused never helped anyone achieve anything. Because the abuser is often a weak minded individual who preys on those weaker than themselves after have broken the other persons spirit.
Keep your chin up and stay in contact with the group.
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