I am beyond nervous and excited for the upcoming day. I have been counting down and been beyond prepared for this. I did 6 months of medically supervised classes. I finished my binder class which gives me all the diet plans and stuff for after surgery. But a part of me is so scared.
I'm scared this won't work. That my last resort for making myself health and now over weight will fail. Even if I follow everything to the letter. My best friend is having a gastric sleeve done right before me. But the horrible part of it is I'm worried she will get better results and I will resent her for it. Which I know I shouldn't because she's my best friend.
I feel like I'm the only one who feels this way. Before this point I lost weight I got down to 175 the lowest I have ever been. Then out of no where why I was eating right exercise 2 times a day it all came back and more. I'm now at 235. I count the days because I don't want to hurt all the time anymore. I want to be happy with my body and to be healthy. I'm getting married May of 2018 and I want to walk down The aisle in a fitted dress. Feeling great and happy. Being the perfect bride. I know I have to take it day by day but I'm a planner. I like knowing what will happen. And this, this is a big unknow for me. Has anyone else felt this way before. Any advice for me on how to get the negative thoughts out.
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