TracyBar

Most things in life aren't fun. I just got put on BP meds. I've been teaching patients about them for years, but going through the side effects myself isn't fun. I don't want to be on these the rest of my life. I don't want to become diabetic. I want my PsA meds to have a chance to work and decrease my joint pain so I can go back to knitting and dancing and all the things I want to do. I so much want to be around to spoil my grandchildren who aren't even passing thoughts yet. Now that I have a date, it's feeling a lot more real and I'm starting to have second thoughts. But the stuff I just listed is what's keeping me on the path. I'm not really living my life right now, and while I don't think weight loss is a magic cure (or that surgery is the magic bullet for that weight loss) I know for a fact that a lot of my obstacles to living my life how I want will at least get a lot smaller as I do. Hang in there!! And yes, from everything I've researched and the experience of the lovely people here, we will at some point be able to eat anything we want, just smaller amounts. And what we want can change. Like you I'm focusing on the things I want to do that I can't do now. Right from simple things like crossing my legs (lol!) to being able to maybe ski again, or swim with my child (something I wouldn't ever do is get into a bathing suit and so ridiculous now! When I felt that way I was at a weight that I want to be at now!). But I don't want to get sicknesses directly related to being overweight/obese. I CAN do something about it and losing weight is the answer. BUT I have come to the realization that dieting AGAIN is not the answer. It doesn't work for me - I dieted my way to this weight and I have many years and many diets behind me to prove that, yes, I could lose the weight through yet another round of food deprivation and gruelling exercise - but I also know that all that hard work will end up with me at an even higher weight than when I started that diet. So sick of that loop.... What's your surgery date?

Incredibly helpful VSGAnn. Thank you so much. I'm trying to be extremely honest with myself while I move toward this surgery. I'm facing facts - I ignored my own warnings about eating poorly for years, resulting in the need for surgery to remove the offending body part that really didn't do anything wrong at all - it was all my actions that got me here. I can blame myself and self-hate til the cows come home but I still turn my mind to neutral when it comes to driving through McDonald's every morning for my sausage mcmuffin and tea before work! I don't even TRY anymore. It's gotten to that point now. I gave up.... The surgery seems radical, that's being honest. I worry more about afterward than the surgery itself - honesty again. And that's because there is NO turning back. Permanent decision - elective surgery to remove most of my stomach because I have NO control when it comes to the basics of life - eating. But I also have a long history of weight gain - right back to when I was 9 years old and knowing I was putting on weight - and how?? We didn't have fast food places anywhere around then - in fact, when a KFC came to town I distinctly remember holding the bucket on my lap for the drive home and breathing in the delicious smell - but I can't remember a time after that we had it. A&W - my big brother would drive to it and bring home a root beer for us little kids. But really, other than homemade Cookies we didn't get a lot junk in our house. And my parents and 3 siblings are slender and fit, just I had the weight issue. So I'm pretty sure there's a genetic thing going on too. Although I eat bad things at times, I very, very rarely overeat. It's hard not to beat yourself up for doing this to yourself, but I'm sympathetic to myself and all who struggle with their weight. It's not ONLY a self-control issue. I'm trying very hard to focus on what I will feel like 6 months or 1 year after the surgery, once I'm over the worst of the healing process. It's the spectre of regret that is killing me. And now - the spectre of the hormone dump! LOL If you can, speak about regrets - how did it affect you, or were you able to just get through the day unscathed as you moved toward being 'normal' again?

Ugh. Doesn't sound fun at all! I think the clothing issue may be a good thing though I'm pretty worried about my regretting stage... and as I said before, I'm still at the point where I'm finding it hard to think of actually getting this done. I was actually thinking tonight that maybe I'll just be too sad to give up on food - it's been a comfort to me for a long time! But then I realize that eventually we can eat what we want, just not a lot of it. Right?

When was your surgery? I don't know really, but could the nasty taste be from the weight loss - when we lose weight/burn fat about 85% of it is exhaled as CO2, and the rest is excreted in urine, feces, and other bodily fluids. Maybe it tastes bad?

Increased sex drive? Except that the husbands have been a victim of hormone dump so maybe getting close won't be doable! lol

It sure does make it easier!

Yep, for me it took 20 years and 2 marriages to complete losers to be in a place in myself that I could find and recognize this guy as the gold mine he is. All mine needed to hear was that I would likely be able to lose the CPAP and my pain with my auto-immune arthritis is very likely to improve, and he was on board but had a few concerns about the risks. Talked those through with him, and his only question was "how soon can you do it?" He appreciates the warnings about the hormone dump that has the potential to turn me into a fire-breathing dragon for a while after the surgery, but says it will be worth it if I end up healthier. Yikes. I think I have many more details to discover! Hormone dump?! Please explain! lol Funny, my husband said the same thing "how soon can you do it?" Wasn't until you said that that I remembered he said the exact same words! I believe my increasing weight has been a real concern for him - but what husband is stupid enough to actually VOICE any concerns when it regards their wife's weight! LOL I've had testing for sleep apnea but the doctor said it wasn't really bad enough to require a CPAP. But I can tell the weight around my neck is causing discomfort and breathing issues. It just crept up on me! Anyway, if there are other things regarding this surgery I should know (and I really need to know the good, the bad and the ugly) please enlighten me! I've had a few concerns from things I've learned just in the last few days - the latest being that this surgery means that you may need to wear a medic alert bracelet and that concerned me (even the wallet card option gave me pause). I can't wrap my head around the necessity for removal of SO much of the stomach. Why 85%? Why not 75% or 50%? And now the hormone dump! These are things one needs to understand.... :-)

My husband is an easy-going guy. Never cares what dinner is, just appreciates that he gets home late from work and there's something to eat. I'm pretty sure he will like it better when I'm more slender, just simply because not only will I look better but I'll be happier. And healthier. When I told him the other day what I was thinking of doing, he didn't say too much until I said that it will mean I will be much less likely to have to deal with weight-related issues like diabetes - he was pretty quick to say "well, that's all the reason you need then to do it". Just feel so much better knowing he's o.k. with this. Guess we're lucky huh? :-)

My husband (like me) was a bit put off by the removal of so much of the stomach. And like me again, wondered "why so much? Why not 50%?"

We certainly do need them on board. Watched a surgery?! Not sure I'm ready for that :-)

Thanks everyone! I find this site so supportive - and it's nice to know it's here for each step of this journey. I'm actually not sure where a better place would have been to post this? I'm open to learning how and where. I think I thought because it was pre-surgery that I was in the right place... Thanks again! (And yes, my husband was so supportive and I was taken aback. He isn't the most expressive sort of guy, and can be hard to read because he's generally quiet about his feelings, etc. (whereas I'm the total opposite! lol). I couldn't be happier to have his support - it'll make such a difference if I do get the surgery. Making a decision on my own, and then proceeding with each step on my own would be a lonely and scary journey, particularly if your partner is not onside. Now...I just need to come to terms with the whole surgery thing!

Sorry - I'm new here and didn't realize...

I hadn't heard about this issue - what is blind NG, and why can't you have NSAIDS and other things?

Can you tolerate homemade broths? You can use what you want as far as meats and vegetables, control the salt, etc.

Cheaper there maybe but add in the flight and hotel - quite a lot more expensive I imagine! Although I would really love a trip to Belgium! lol How much is it in comparison? So far, I've found a surgeon in Montreal where I can get it for $13,500 CDN. (+ flights and hotel I imagine, unless they put patients up in a hotel)

Good for you! My daughter just received her first degree (Psychology) and wants to be a nurse - more school! She's applying to two universities here in Canada and also Hawaii. Her dream would be Hawaii but so expensive for an international student, plus cost of living there, and our dollar. We'll see... :-)

This is the first I've heard of the blood thinners. Recipes: I would think you could just make broths like you would for chicken Soup or beef stock and then strain everything out. See if you can get hold of the post op food guide so you know what you can and can't eat, i.e. amounts of salt allowed, etc. The pureed foods I don't know about but I would still make some of that ahead - I'm not sure if you can just puree what you're making for your family on a particular day or not. If you could do that then it would be easy to just puree potatoes, meat, etc. separately. Hope you're feeling less anxious!

@@theantichick - are a doctor?

I haven't moved ahead with talking actual surgery yet - I'm researching it right now. But sending you good vibes and hope you feel calmer once you know the date is set and you can change your mind to preparing for the event itself rather than focusing on the fear. Keep busy! If I do move ahead with this, I plan on making food (pureed) and homemade broths for myself and freezing them. As well as making and freezing meals for my family since I do all the cooking. Just want to make it easier for everyone including myself. Why do you need blood thinners?

Hi - just wondering if this is indeed a medical expense. WLF Medical in Mexico is where I'm considering going for surgery (wait is SO long in Canada). I'd like to know if I can claim the surgery as well as travel expenses hopefully. WLF Medical website says it's a line 330 medical expense - would like to know this for sure before I depend on that. Thanks!

Thanks Karine76 I see you just had your surgery. How are you doing? Are things going well? Happy you went ahead with it? And finally - how long was your wait for surgery? Surgery was ok, I'm doing very well, healing pretty well also. Just got back to work today. Very happy I had the procedure even though I'd give anything to have a bite of a Poutine right now. As for my initial consult to Surgery date I had my first talk withmy Doctor on June 3 and my surgery was on June 27 (self paid). one night at the clinic, and 1 and a half day in a hotel near clinic with round the clock nurse care. Really? In Canada? Where are you? June 3 initial visit and June 27 surgery? How much did you pay? I didn't think we had that ability in Canada (to pay out of pocket). Interested to hear more! Good to hear you're doing well - poutine! One of the best and worst foods ever! lol

Hi all - have any of you heard of WLF Medical in Mexico? It's not the cheapest place to go to, but I believe it may possibly be the most modern and safest clinic. It's the only one I've researched though - a friend of mine told me about it as she was frustrated with yo-yo dieting and asked her doctor about the sleeve. Her doctor recommended this place. I'm in Canada and the CEO of this clinic is Canadian. I was quoted $13,600 for just me (no companion), however if you look on the website they show a comparison of their surgery facilities vs the cheaper options. Now I just have to come up with the money! (Although this surgery is free in Canada the approval process and wait time is just way too long - can be years in fact).

Hello everyone. I'm looking forward to hearing what you all have to say about sleeve surgery. From those that are considering it and those that have experienced it. I've spoken to a facilitator over the phone and email and hope to meet her mom who lives near me as she has had the surgery as well and is a facilitator too. She's also close in age to me (I'm 54) and I thought that meeting her face-to-face may help me make a decision. I'm in Canada and the hospital is in Mexico - it has a Canadian connection (I think owned by a Canadian woman) and meets very high standards. Although it's in Mexico I don't feel worried about the level of care, or the abilities of the doctors and staff. I've asked a lot of questions of the facilitator - to the point where I think I've asked more questions, or taken more of her time than she wishes to give. That did turn me off a little - it was only two phone calls and a couple of emails. I guess they have their limit as per how much they get paid? As the hospital is in Mexico I don't get to meet the surgeon to discuss things and that's a worry for me. I'm relying on facilitators with no medical background, just the fact they've been through it and have had some training. My biggest worry: REGRET. This is a permanent procedure. I read something where somebody commented - "why would anybody want to remove a perfectly healthy, functioning body part?!" I get this - it's what makes this whole thing a bit on the bizarre side to me. And what if I just cannot STAND the changes? What if I feel nothing but sorrow and regret and horror at what I've done to myself? There's no going back - this thought haunts me in the time that I've been considering this as an option to weight loss. I don't see myself as somebody that is super obsessed with food. Not once have I ever gotten up in the middle of the night to eat something - not one time. I don't overeat. I choose the wrong foods a lot of the time and I love chocolate. My servings at dinner are likely too big, but I've never just eaten non-stop. Don't eat a bag of Cookies, nothing like that. I noted that I was putting on weight at 9 years old. I distinctly remember the moment I was aware of this. I've battled weight gain for much of my life. The thinnest I've ever been was when I was eating around 1200 calories a day, and working out (literally!) 2-3 hours PER DAY. Yup. I was super fit and looked good. This of course, was before I had 3 children. I'm a Weight Watchers "joiner" as my friend and I refer to ourselves. Never a WW grad, always a joiner. I did Weight Loss Clinic in my early 20's and lost weight. Up and down, up and down. Always weighing more with each subsequent weight gain. I'm sure what I've said here is pretty close to what each of you have experienced. How do I deal with this fear of regret? I can't seem to move past it. I hear what my facilitator says - she doesn't know anybody that has regretted it. She says she has many, many relatives and friends that have done this surgery and they all feel happy about their decision. But I'm also speaking to somebody who WORKS for the hospital and from my point of view, is trying to bring clients in for the money (cost is $13,600 just for me, no companion). A bit cost prohibitive for us, and I haven't mentioned a thing to my husband - he won't have a clue how I feel as he's never had a weight issue in his life - but he'll sure feel reluctant about the money spent! We all have our stories about our rock bottom. In fact, I have many rock bottom stories - each one, at the time, I'm thinking it's the worst thing that's happened to me. The most embarrassing, the most demeaning, the most sad I've felt. I don't see these rock bottom occurrences stopping because I'm not losing any weight. I've dieted my way all the way up to this weight (I'm guessing my weight is around 250 lbs.) and in the last few years I've given up on dieting. I'll just end up losing it once again and then gaining it all back +more, so why try? Why keep doing that? My biggest worries are: 1) Regret - what if I regret my decision? 2) Age - is 54 too old to do this? 3) Post-op diet - along with the pre-op 800 cal. a day diet (wow!), I'm worried about the weeks of liquid diet. I have to work, how will I do it if I'm starving? (my job can be intense and I have to be on the ball all the time). 4) I have chronic migraines and see a Neurologist. Will the weight loss alleviate/lessen migraines, or make them worse? 5) Will I ever actually enjoy food again? Or be able to? We have a favourite restaurant - would hate if I can never again enjoy that sort of outing 6) No caffeine, no alcohol! OMG - that's harsh! I love wine and would miss that. But think it's 6 months off of it? Caffeine. Due to migraines I'm not supposed to have it at all, but I now just have a tea in the morning so guess I could do that. I do love my tea and wine though :-) I so appreciate any comments, good or bad, that you can offer me. I do want to be truly happy in my own skin. I can't picture myself on the plane, in Mexico (never been there), and in the hospital going through with this. It just doesn't seem like a reality. And I really am fearful of the entire thing. My income is very important to my family and I still have a young child (almost 11) to care for. What if I don't recover? What if I can't work and cause my family to suffer due to me wanting to look good (okay, and hopefully ward off diabetes and other weight-related issues). Ugh… I'm a mess! LOL Tracy

that's a very scary thing for sure. It's a difficult decision. I'd rather have it here at home in Canada. Wish it wasn't so long a wait...

Thank you for your reply Alex. How do you go direct? When I used the contact link I (think) I left an email and somebody contacted me - can't remember exactly. It was a facilitator. Since a doctor here recommended this place to my friend I felt that perhaps it was a safe place. Do you have any information on it other than being a clinic vs hospital? And does that make a difference?