jrmoseley

It's hard. Really hard. And yeah, you can say that willpower is required here, but honestly--if any of us had that kind of willpower we wouldn't have the weight problems that we do. Brain chemistry is a powerful thing, and the more research we see, the more I'm convinced that we're dealing with forces we just don't even begin to understand right now. That being said, I think I'd try one more time to get the idea across that this isn't like a "regular person" going on a diet and trying to shed a couple of pounds. This is more like an addict trying their best to get and stay clean of drugs--because they know that if they don't, they're going to die. And if an alcoholic/addict lives with a person who's using, it's only a matter of time before they start using again themselves. If your girlfriend remains unsupportive, then you have to make some tough choices. Maybe live on your own where you can control what's in the house. I'm really sorry you're going through this. It's a hard enough struggle when you have the full support and faith of your life companions--I can't imagine how difficult it must be to do it without that support.

I know you posted this a while ago, but I was just browsing the lists and came across it, so I thought it's probably not too late to reply. I was diagnosed with Barrett's in 2016, and at that time I was also told I had a large hiatal hernia. I was recovering from having my gallbladder removed and I felt like the warranty had just expired on my body. The surgeon said nothing was going to get better unless I had WLS--he was recommending sleeve. Insurance company sent me to a different hospital in a different city, and that surgeon recommended RNY for all the reasons your surgeon said. I had the surgery in September of 2017, and I feel much, much better. After 2 months, I was able to stop taking the Prilosec and my high blood pressure meds. I haven't had a day of heartburn since. I still have to have a endoscopy done every 3 years, but that's minor compared to what the repercussions would be if I hadn't had the surgery. And I've lost 105 lbs!! But a lot of people in my support group who had the sleeve done have just not had as good of results. So in the end, even though recovery and life after RNY is a little bit harder some days, I'm glad I had it done. I hope you've had your surgery by now and you're feeling better.

I agree. It's perfectly normal to have all those feelings. It means you're taking it seriously. I had all those feelings before my RnY bypass last year, and I also had all those feelings before I had my hysterectomy 15 years ago! I ended up having an emergency hysterectomy, so that choice was less scary in a way. I needed it to save my life, and there was no more thinking about it! But at 57, with high blood pressure, borderline diabetes, joint problems and Barrett's esophagus, my health was also quite precarious before this surgery, too. I'm glad I did it. I didn't have any complications, but those first few months were tough as I had to relearn how to eat and form a new "relationship" with food. It only took three months for my blood pressure and blood sugar to normalize and to no longer need the acid reflux medications. My joint issues are greatly improved because I can move more and I get more exercise, which reduces inflammation. I've lost 105 lbs as of this morning and I'm still losing, albeit slower than I did in the beginning. I feel very lucky. My advice, for what it's worth, is do your research, and seek the very best medical team you can find and afford. Just those two things will ease your mind alot. Then you have to reach a point where the risks involved (surgery always involves risks) are outweighed by the consequences of doing nothing. And that point is different for everyone. Good luck. You will make the decision that's best for you, at the time that it works for you.

I have rather severe arthritis in my feet and SI joints. Since my WLS in September 2017 I have notice two things regarding my arthritis. First, the daily pain level in my feet has lessened considerably after losing 100 lbs (still working on the last 50) and second--if I let myself get the slightest bit dehydrated the pain in my SI joints increases dramatically. One more motivation to keep hydrated. One caution: when I started feeling better because I had less pain and more energy, I overdid things a few times and ended up paying for it with pulled muscles. Give yourself time and advance slowly. I still do my aerobics in the swimming pool because it's so much easier on my joints.

I agree with shedo. It will get better, because your friends and family will get bored with the subject, and something new will come along to claim their attention. That's human nature. But I do think it's worth saying--it's just not appropriate to comment or ask questions about a person's body unless they've given you an indication that those questions are welcome. If I were talking nonstop to my family about my diet and my weight loss and any discomforts I was feeling, that would be an opening, but since I don't do that, I find it rude to get any of those questions. I would never ask a coworker if they meant to get surgery to correct their bad knee, or if they were going to get implants to fix the receding hairline. And if I knew a family member had had breast reduction surgery, I would never think to ask what size bra she was taking now. But somehow people think weight loss is open for all manner of intrusive comments and questions. If it gets real bad, you could always stage a breakdown. Just stare at the offender for a minute with your lip quivering, then run out of the room crying. I guarantee you that the word will travel fast that you are "touchy" about being asked about the surgery.

I had RNY 6 months ago. At 3 months, I was drinking a small protein shake (6oz was all I could handle) in the morning, having a scrambled egg or tuna for lunch, an early dinner of chicken in any kind of sauce with a small amount of vegetable and another small protein shake or 1/2 c. of greek yogurt later in the evening. By this time it was easier to get in 65 oz of water.

I have really fine hair to begin with and recently resorted to cutting it very short to cope with the hair loss. If it doesn't start growing back in pretty soon, I'll have to start wearing wigs or scarves! I'm at 6 months, and in the last few weeks the hair loss has slowed down a lot, but I can't yet say any new stuff is growing in.

You're doing really well at moving forward, doing your research and making decisions based on what will be best for your future health. And your husband is doing what husbands often find easiest when faced with situations in which they have no control--he is resisting in a sort of passive aggressive way. I say that in the most positive light, because I have a passive aggressive husband who I adore, and have for 25 years. Yes, he frustrates me to no end at times, but I'm quite sure that there are things about me that cause him frustration, too. Keep putting one foot in front of the other, and try to remain loving and understanding. At some point, you'll probably have to sit him down and set down some ground rules for life after surgery--things like when you're feeling sick at 2 weeks or frustrated at 8 weeks, he is never allowed to enter any form of the phrase "I told you so" because it will cause you a great deal of anguish and cause you to resent him, thus damaging your relationship. And when you are seeing a lot of success, and celebrating your accomplishments, he is not allowed to express any sort of negative feedback, or doubt that it will last, or say things like "it's about time." He is only allowed to smile and tell you he's proud of you. He doesn't have to understand, he merely must provide loving support, as you do when he faces life's hurdles. In return, of course, he will receive all the perks of having a fit, healthy, beautiful wife that loves and adores him.

when I was still in the hospital, one off the things they gave me to eat was protein mashed potatoes with protein powder mixed in and non fat gravy. I relied on that for a few weeks as a go-to when I was tired and nauseous. It was quite comforting. I just made instant potatoes with Fairlife milk and a bit of protein powder, and used powdered gravy mix. Sent from my SM-G930V using BariatricPal mobile app

orionburn, that's pretty much what I do, and it works. On days when I decide to have a cooked breakfast, (some of my office meetings are over breakfast) I make the protein shake for lunch. My program calls for 15 minutes before and 30 minutes after, and I find the after part to be the hardest. But I've learned to be very careful about avoiding dry foods. I usually serve my cooked proteins with some sort of gravy or sauce--even if it's just a spoonful of greek yogurt. It helps me to not feel like I'm choking on dry meat. I don't have to set a timer, because I'm watching that clock until I can take a drink again!! But keeping that large iced water or tea right beside me all day is what gets me to that liquids goal. On days when I forget it I can guarantee I'll lose track and end up feeling dehydrated at the end of the day.

insul817 Good suggestion! that was my go-to exercise pre-surgery. Unfortunately, out local Y is in transition as a new building goes up this year, and the only gym in town with a pool is simply too expensive. I'm looking forward to the new pool later this year, but I'm not sure that even if it was open now, I'd make it there very often. It's simply too hard and often dangerous to get there on cold icy days. I've tried tylenol on occasion, but it just isn't very effective on this joint pain. So far ice and heat seem to be my best options. I have steroid injections a couple times a year, and that helps for a few weeks. I think getting the rest of the weight off these poor abused bones will help most of all! Keep putting one foot in front of the other, and before you know it, you'll be looking back at the toughest part of the journey! Good luck to you also!

56 years old, had RNY on Sept 19, 2017. I've lost 65 lbs, and have thrown away the blood pressure meds and the Prilosec. I feel a lot better, and have a hard time believing that a year ago, I was carrying around an extra 65 lbs on my frame! No wonder I felt so lousy. But even though I feel a lot better, I still have a ways to go. I still have about 80 pounds to lose in order to get to normal BMI. And I have severe arthritis in my SI joint (the joint in your pelvis that expands and flexes to let you walk and bend) and some major foot problems. With every pound lost, it gets better, but pain still limits my movements. This has been a brutal winter with temperatures in the -20s for weeks at a time. That is not helpful!! There are days (like today) when I work from my home office with a heating pad at my hip and a hot drink at my side. I'll have to take a nap just to get the pressure off my joints and recuperate from pain a little. I'm open to suggestions for coping with pain when we can't take NSAIDS.

My husband went with me to all my appointments and was and is very supportive. That being said, I thnk he was terrified about the surgery and its immediate aftermath, which was similar to when I had a hysterectomy 15 years ago. I felt a similar terror when he had emergency surgery for a spinal infection. My husband has struggled with his own weight issues, and he finds the benefit to him in my surgery is that we eat a lot differently now (I'm 4 months post surgery.) I'm very focused on lean, healthy proteins, and there just isn't room for much else. He consumes his "extra" calories during the workday, and then enjoys whatever I make (if indeed I make anything--if I don't he forages) for dinner on weeknights, and then he cooks weekends. He's pretty sensitive to what I can eat. Yesterday he made a beef stew, and asked if it would bother me if he baked bread. It didn't--I can't eat it (it hurts) but I still love the smell of it. As a general rule, I think it's pretty individual. If your spouse is used to you taking care of them, and is resistant to those roles changing, it may be a tough time for them. Because there is at least a period of time when they have to be the supportive spouse. The months after surgery are difficult for most WLS patients, with a lot of hard work and a steep learning curve and we need a lot of support. For some spouses, that's not hard at all, and they slip into it naturally. But I know a few members of my support group for whom the surgery made already-present problems in their marriages that much worse.

I'm 56 years old, and had my bypass on Sept 19, 2017. So far, I've recovered fine and am losing weight, and am happy with my results. I've had arthritis in my SI (sacro-iliac) joints for a number of years, and in the last 2-3 years, one side has become particularly painful. Before surgery, I relied on NSAIDS for inflammation relief and pain control, but now NSAIDS are off the list, and I'm having a hard time controlling that pain. What are some of you doing for inflammation and pain in a post-bypass world?

Keep in mind that not all hospitals or doctors accept Medicaid, and Medicaid may not approve all hospitals or surgeons, but it takes a quick call to the program to find out. Usually the program has an insurance specialist who knows which insurance companies, including Medicaid are approved for their program.

I took a bunch of stuff recommended by my Dr's office but the only things I used were my phone and charger, and a robe. Sent from my QTAIR7 using BariatricPal mobile app

It takes some time to meet those protein and liquid goals. Every day will be a little easier than the day before. Then one day you'll wake up in the morning and realize nothing hurts! Later that same day, you'll drink too fast and invent a new swear word! But each day it will get easier, and you'll start seeing the results you want. Hang in there! Sent from my QTAIR7 using BariatricPal mobile app

I think my surgeon collects stats from his own patients, and that's what he uses for his Bell curve. I was 298 the day before surgery, and 283 the day of my 3 week check. That's "only" 15 pounds, which is considerably less than some I've seen. But it was 15 pounds. I know I wouldn't have lost before surgery. And it's 15 pounds that I'm confident I can keep off! Attitude is important, and fortunately we can choose our attitude. I choose to remain positive and see the positive side of things. I am exceedingly grateful that I had the opportunity to have this surgery. I will try my best to use it to my advantage, and I will try my best to be kind and forgiving to myself when I have moments of failure (because those are also an inevitable part of any journey.) We live in a fast paced and stressful world, and we are used to instant results. Sometimes, though, I think it is vital that we slow down and breathe deep and pay attention to the little things. I'm pretty sure this is one of those times.

I had a large and painful hiatal hernia, had it repaired with my bypass on Oct 19. You will be amazed at how quickly you feel better! I could tell the difference right away. Some people I know had a more painful post op recovery period, but I did not. But the pain and regurgitation and reflux from the hernia was all gone from the moment I woke up after surgery. Sent from my SM-G930V using BariatricPal mobile app

Try to remember, too, that comparing your results to a small group of online group posters is always going to be disappointing! The people who post frequently are often the ones with the biggest results, because those results motivate them to post. The rest of us, the average folks, are less likely to post our results, because we feel like we must be doing something wrong. I went for my 3 week post op, and was telling my doc that I knew I was losing slow, but I'm ok with that. He checked my file, re checked the numbers, and told me I was wrong -- I'm not at all "slow" and in fact am about 2 weeks ahead of the bell curve. Came as a shock to me! Sent from my SM-G930V using BariatricPal mobile app

Either way, it sounds heavenly!

I'm scheduled to have a steroid shot soon, but I find they're not really that effective. They are, however, better than nothing! Do you remember what the medication in the patch was? I've tried lidocaine, but I'm sure there are others.

This is a conversation you should be having with your surgeon. Go over the pros & cons for each given your medial situation and ask his/ her advice. Regarding vitamins, you can spends as much as you want, and get the same results. I had RNY and take the exact same over the counter vitamins I did before surgery, only I take them twice a day. If you want to go fancy and buy custom blended liquids or patches or designer vitamins you can do that too, but your lab results won't be any better. 🙄 Sent from my SM-G930V using BariatricPal mobile app

I also changed my plans after consulting with my surgeon and reading the research. I had bypass surgery 9 days ago, am recovering well, and down 10 lbs since surgery. so far, so good! Sent from my SM-G930V using BariatricPal mobile app

a pressure cooker is also a good way to cook meats so they're tender and you end up with broth, too. Before surgery, I made hot beefs with a small roast, onions and peppers, and portioned it with the broth into small containers. I did something similar with a chicken. They've been a real help! Sent from my SM-G930V using BariatricPal mobile app