KaiserKid

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App. I understand completely. When you are petite your weight can seem "low" to some but your BMI can actually be high. I am around 5'2" so I was 238 at surgery. Feels real good to be off medications. Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App Yes! I'm only 4'10" and weighing 198lbs gets me to a BMI of 41.4! I feel like a lightweight compared to some other people but I'm still a 1x shirt and size 16/18 pants. Shopping for jeans is a nightmare. I still get the "but you're not THAT fat" talk a lot. Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Hi everybody, I'm having a difficult time discerning who I should tell I'm having surgery to. So far my husband and best friend know, and they are totally on board. I'm concerned about telling people at work. I work with an awesome bunch of people, my boss especially. I know I would not have issues taking time off for the surgery itself. I'm a desk jockey of sorts and the only exercise I get at work is the walk to and from the train station and to any meetings I might have, so I'm not too worried about only taking a week or so off. My main concern is all the appointments I'll need. I just got the appointment/pre-post-op class schedule.In addition to the surgeon visit, I also need to meet with psych and nut multiple times in addition the the pre-op "classes" they make you take. My boss is super cool and typically will not dock our ET (we're salaried) if we need to go to a Dr's appt. I'm just concerned she might think I'm "milking it" by going to so many appts and not being 100% transparent about why I suddenly have to go so frequently. At first I thought I'd be totally comfortable with telling people, like other friends and my family, but the more I think about it, the more self-conscious I get about it. I can definitely see some of them saying "you don't need it" or "you just need to try harder to lose weight" or "so-and-so had WLS and they look like crap". Thing is, I DO know some people who have had WLS and DO look like crap, but they also don't follow the post-op plan/lifestyle. However, I know why they look like crap because of all the research I've done. I know other people who have had WLS who look great. Other people who haven't done the research seem to think WLS itself just makes people skinny and look sickly. That was a concern of my husbands'. He wants me to talk to his aunt who is a nurse anesthetist, and she's seen every type of surgery under the sun. I've made up my mind about the surgery. This is what I want and what I need. I've never been so sure of something in my life. However, I'm the type of person that needs reassurance all the time, and if enough people deter me from an idea, I may not do it even if I know I want to. (Truly, you should have seen me wedding dress shop with my bridal party. It was a nightmare.). Sorry for the rambling. Every time I'm on this board I feel so awesome about my choices and my future. When I go into the real world, it's not so reassuring.

This is how I feel too. I've been at my job for 5 years and I do work with a great bunch of people. But I've been the fattest of the bunch for all these years, and when I lose weight, particularly at the speed with WLS, they will know something is up. I've told my boss for now just because I feel like it's right for her to know exactly why I have to miss work for all these appointments and will need time off in a few months. Fortunately my schedule is super flexible and she'll let me WFH after the surgery for a bit. She's super supportive, and I think everyone else will be too. I think it's better to tell the rest of them after it's said and done so I won't have to hear "I know a person who knows a person who DIED from this" or "You can gain all the weight back" or "You're not THAT fat, you don't need surgery". I've heard that last one too many times.

Hi everyone, I'm in the pre-op stages of VSG right now. I have a tentative surgery date of 11/11/2016, and let me tell you, it can't come fast enough! I have a ton of appointments scheduled from now until that date, and I am an anxious mess over it. I'm not usually an anxious person, but because this is something that is so detrimental to the rest of my life, combined with the fact that I want it so badly, I'm terrified the rug will be pulled from under me. Between the fear of denial from my insurance (I've previously posted about it), to the potential of them "finding" something in the pre-op tests that would prevent me from having surgery (ex: hiatal hernia, for which I'm going for a barium swallow test), to something totally dumb like what if my car breaks down and I can't make it to one of my appointments. The people at my WLC are very nice, and when I voice my concerns, they don't seem very worried. I can tell they are well-versed in what they do, so maybe my fears are unfounded. I feel like this would be too-short a time to see a therapist separate from the WLC psychologist, as I'm less than 2 months away from my surgery (if all goes well). Was anyone else as anxious as I am? Whenever I go into the WLC, I feel so assured and positive, but once I go home I start to have these negative thoughts that some act of God will prevent me from doing this.

I am currently struggling with this too. Check out my thread "who did you tell?" for more answers! Right now I've told my husband, best friend, and my boss. And I told my boss at this moment only because I have a butt load of appointments I'll need to schedule around work. She's totally on board. I'm going to take it as it comes. I will probably tell the rest of my family (select members) closer to the surgery date as things become more finalized. Other people I have no intention of telling. It will definitely be awkward because even though I've lost weight in the past, it will be nowhere near the amount that WLS will help provide. I've always been the "fat friend" so I think some people will certainly suspect I've had surgery, or am otherwise very sick lol.

BCBS MA Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

They just said BMI of 40 w/ no comorbids. No timeline requirement or anything. I looked online and I called them and that's all they say, so I hope they can just submit the first weight and be done with it. I'll be weighed every appt and I know I'm already up again, so I'm not worried about that really. The surgeon did not seem concerned at all, so I guess I should feel OK?

Hey! I'm from MA! I'm having my surgery done in Boston at MGH! I think your WLC will have post-op support groups - I know my program does. Tufts has a very good program I hear.

Congrats!

I've been exercising regularly for years. It really hasn't helped me lose much weight, but probably helped me from packing on extra pounds (that's what the NUT said anyway). I started easy cardio, like the elliptical and walking on the treadmill (even tried jogging a bit once I was comfortable). Then I got bored and started going to spin and zumba classes. I like group X classes because I feel more accountable for showing up on time and having to commit to the full hour of exercise vs. coming and going whenever I want. I hate weight lifting. I've been told it's good for toning, fat burning, etc. I just hate it so so so much. I don't feel like I'm doing anything and I hate waiting in between sets. I would encourage you to try both and see what you like.

Just started following you! I've recently made a page too. Not much on it yet. Feel free to follow back! My username is sleeving.and.scheming

I'm trying to think if I should tell them I'm having a different type of surgery or if I should just be honest. I work with a really tight group of people that I've been with for over 5 years. Once I start losing weight, they WILL notice and they WILL ask. Some might be cool with it, others might not. They might be suspicious since they've seen me gain and lose some weight before (not to the extent WLS will), and complain about my "diet" foods, etc. so I don't know if honesty is the best policy. People have preconceived notions about what WLS is and what it entails. It seems like everyone knows someone who had it and did poorly. But how do I explain that I'm having WLS because of X, Y, Z health problems I've otherwise kept quiet about? I work in the medical field, so everyone is already a health nut so it'd be easy for them to say "just try harder"

I was in the same boat. My first appt, they were looking at some old medical records, and they thought I was taller than I am so they thought my BMI was only 38. They shot it down when I mentioned surgery off of this notion. I insisted they re-measure my height and lo and behold my BMI was 40.9. Then their tune quickly changed and I got an appt with the surgeon for the following week. It really does all depend on your evil insurance company. I posted about this a while ago on the insurance board. I don't think I need a pre-op diet for my insurance. I hope I don't because I already pay through the nose for my insurance so it BETTER be good! And Jane1979 - I totally feel you about the wait period. I had to go to an orientation with the WLC in early June before I could even schedule an appt - and the earliest appt they had for me was Aug 31 - a full 3 months just for my first appt! But in that time I used it to really educate myself on this topic and know literally everything there is to know. Waiting is the WORST once you've made up your mind about what you want to do. Hang tight!

First off, I'm so sorry for your losses. I work in cancer research and I know the trials that families go through, especially if it is a long, drawn-out process. I lost my mom in 2015 from a heart attack, and in a strange way I'm thankful she passed quickly and that's something I don't think I'd say unless I worked in the field I do... I have had depression from a very young age, and I had to explain to the psychologist how my last major depressive episode was 2015 after my mom died (complicated relationship), and I was also planning my wedding, which was also super stressful. She asked me if I thought my feelings about my mom were regular grief or true depression, and I think it's important to know where the grief ends and the depression takes over. My own med history says I was on prozac, zoloft, paxil, celexa, and wellbutrin for my depression, not all at the same time of course (age ~15 - 22ish). I have depression and bipolar and alcoholism on every branch of my family tree, so I was careful to explain the situations I was under while taking these meds, and how I handle it now. If you show your resilience and that your coping mechanisms are healthy ones, they should clear you. The fact you are seeking help and are on a stable dose of antidepressants shows you take initiative to properly help yourself, instead of self-medicating with food of alcohol, for example. Best of luck!

I had my first fasting labs drawn today. Everything looked OK except my cholesterol which was 220 and my insulin, which was 31 uIU/mL. I read that a typical fasting insulin should be around 8 uIU/mL. This is indicative of metabolic syndrome. Do you think this could hold up my surgery?

I am so happy I could cry. I was so worried that I wouldn't qualify (I almost didn't - they were looking at old medical records and said I was like 2in taller than I am! I made them measure my height again. My BMI was 40.9 and is in the books!) I have an appointment with the surgeon next Tuesday! This is all happening so fast suddenly. I've been waiting for this for so long it feels. I have my fingers crossed that the rest of this goes smoothly! I'm not suddenly changing my mind or anything, but I was so sure this would never come to fruition for me (and hey - it still might not), but the realization that this COULD happen is so overwhelming and I'm a little scared. What was your experience like? I imagine the surgeon will be very clinical and straight to the point.

I just had my first appt with nutritionist and psych. They referred me to the surgeon who I am seeing next week. Like you, I am also nervous, but also so happy. I'm still a little nervous re: my insurance, but the surgical coordinator didn't seem too concerned. It all seems so daunting and scary, but I've sort of been living by the saying "get comfortable with being uncomfortable" in this journey. So if I'm nervous, or scared or anxious, it means it's working for me because it's something new! Best of luck to you, I know you will be great!

Maybe I'm the outcast here, but I wish my parents brought this up with me years ago. They tried in their own way to get me to lose weight, like buy me clothes that were too big and say I'd "grow into them" (in my 20's, there was no "growth" happening), or receiving a food scale and a weight watchers book for Christmas, but no knowledge on what this meant or how to use this. I wish I was taught what a healthy lifestyle was, and what all of my viable options were. I wish they ate the goddamn broccoli WITH me instead of only making me eat the broccoli. I'm only 28, so I'm relatively young still, but I do have the nagging thought that I wish I had sought this out even sooner. I think if my folks knew I was seeking WLS, they'd see me as "giving up" or going "the easy way out". But that's just my messed up family, lol. Best of luck to you and your daughter. I know when I was a teen if someone casually mentioned something in a conversation, sometimes I'd think about that thing and come to my own conclusions. Maybe if you mention "Oh, so-and-so got WLS and they are doing so well", it might get the gears turning in her head? IDK, maybe she just doesn't think it's an option for her. I know I didn't until three months ago!

Does anyone have a story about how they or someone they know who just straight-up failed WLS? I was on another website and I read a story of someone who did not lose any weight one month out of a VSG, swearing up and down they are following a 600-700 calorie per day diet. I've also seen similar stories on 'My 600lb Life' (bad example, I know.) I'm wondering how common this is?

That's a good point. Also, like other posters have said, the psych is going to focus on your relationship with food particularly. I'm sure they'll ask about your family/support system, etc., but they aren't there to be a "regular counselor". I think you'll get bonus points if you're actively seeking therapy for your other issues though, because it shows initiative and that you're owning up to whatever demons are haunting you. I know how you feel about getting annoyed with it all. I have had YEARS of counseling for my own depression/family issues and at first I was like "Oh Jeez, do I have to hash out my whole life story AGAIN?!", but I don't think it will be quite like that. I guess I'll find out next week!

I have similar fears about this. It will sure be fun talking about my mom's borderline personality disorder (not!). I'm confident that if I present myself in a competent light that I will be fine, and you will be too! I am going to be totally honest but also urge them to recognize that I have come a long way and have overcome a lot, and want to continue to do so by taking care of myself by getting the weight off for good. Best of luck to you!

Good luck to you! Congratulations!

Hi everyone, I called my insurance company (BCBS MA) to see what the requirements are for them to cover bariatric surgery, and they seem very... Loose. The rep told me I need: BMI of 40 w/o comorbidities or 35 with at least one. No weight history required. Agree to participate in pre- and post- surgical assistance program. Documented of failed non-surgical attempts at weight loss And then easy stuff like "is an adult that is willing and understands implications of WLS" And that was it, really. No 3/6mo supervised diet or documentation of multi-year history of obesity. I have a sneaking suspicion that something was left out, but I should trust what they said, right? The requirements aren't on bcbs-ma website, but bariatric-surgery-source.com lists the exact same things. I kinda sound like a broken record here because I've posted on this topic before. I just have never needed my insurance company before other than routine care! They seem so scary, like my life is literally in their hands if they deny me! Anyone else have experience with these guys or can provide words of wisdom? Man, I'm getting nervous because my first apps are coming up really soon! Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

I love Chemistry Queen and MadeUp Mama! Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Girlie, I don't know you, I will keep you in my thoughts as you go through this journey. This is a great community that is incredibly supportive. Your partner may not support you, but I hope you have other people in your life that do. And if not, there are hundreds of others on this message board who will jump at the opportunity to give advice and listen to your woes. It sounds like your partner is insecure about himself and that is why he is bringing you down. I know you and your son will do just fine. You're taking initiative now by removing him from this negative environment. Kids don't need to grow up in a world where their parents berate one another. Best of luck to you.