Victoriana
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Everything posted by Victoriana
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Julie, I feel for you and your son. Has his change in behavior been recent and sudden? I hope he is not involved with anything like drugs, or drinking. Do you like the friends he has? Does he spend much time away from home? I would really support you on your counseling plans, I always tell my sons that I dont need permission to be thier mom, I am not supposed to be thier best friend, but I am supposed to take my responsibility to care for them and do what I think is necessary even if I am not the most popular one in the house. As far as the friend that decided to flake off, well she couldnt have been a really good friend. Is she jealous of your new self? She is the one that is loosing out, you are doing great to care for yourself. I wish I could take you out for coffee, or tea... Take care girl, and love that boy. Another thing I tell my sons is that there is never anything that they could do to make me love them less, and I am their greatest champion, and always will be. I also tell them that I dont need thier permission to love them too.
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Recognizing that you could be in real depression is important. When I was in true depression, even my favorite activities seemed empty. I isolated and felt lonely. I could not understand why other people didnt seem to care about me, and like you, my eating habits and sleeping habits were crazy. If you cant shake this after a bit, I think you may need help with antidepressants, but you should see your Dr. and tell them how long you felt like this. Getting a job is tough to do even when you are hitting on all points, and not getting a job is stressfull, and fuels rejection, and self rejection. Stress really takes a lot out of our chemical balances, so does not eating well. Try to get at least one hour of sunlight on you eyelids everyday, visit a pet store, garden supply house or someplace else that reveals life to you. If you dont recognize yourself anymore, see your Dr. I found out the hard way that depression cannot be ignored. Please take care and I am proud of you for reaching out. Your gonna get pass this, its a season, and seasons cant help but change. You'll see.
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When you edit something, you have to find the "save changes" button at the bottom of the edit page, then when you hit enter, the changes should be there. Thats the only thing that I could think of that you could have missed. Did you hit the save changes button?
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lol, I have tent underwear too!!! Once when my sweet MIL was visiting, we were folding a load of whites and she got to one of my undies first and held them wide open and said, "my son is married to someone who wears these?!?" I was so incensed! I wanted to tie her up in them!! Now she hasnt seen me since Ive lost 80lbs, and she wont see me till June and I plan on being down at least 100lbs. Should I give her one of my old tents for a souvenir? Ha I doubt if she would even remember.
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Your doing great, just keep on, its hard to ignore when its your mom, after all we all want approval from our mom. I just think that if someone is in competition with you, it must mean that they feel like you are already one up, and it spurs them on to improvment. You must be her inspiration, instead of her being yours. Give her grace and just watch in the future when you have met your goal and feel really great, what difference did she make anyway? Your gonna be the winner with or without her approval. Sorry for the broken heart though, that part is the pits, no doubt about that. Dont you know that you are precious? Im proud of you for taking care of yourself, and toss those big clothes out, maybe save one souvenier to burn in the end. I am keeping one. Just for my goal reaching victory, kind of like those old fashiond mortgage burning parties. You can come over when I do that and you can burn yours too, OK?
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As I was bathing my shower tonight (NSV)
Victoriana replied to Spydr's topic in LAP-BAND Surgery Forums
Thanks for such great encouragement!! -
Lapdancer, I agree that speaking as if one knows what Jesus would condone or not is saying a mouthful. The idea that Jesus is capable of only love and acceptance is not embracing the fact that He is jealous, and is angry when the Fathers will is attributed to someone else, or when someones will is proported to be the Fathers as he said to one of His best friends, get thee behind me Satan!!... wow, I would never want to hear that. Another thing that makes me squirm is when Jesus said, " Away from me, I never knew you "....gulp. He truly wants our hearts, not our works.
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Its interesting...the blood. Its what makes demons flee. Its also the most important thing to life. Its more precious than the air we breathe. If its so valuable, how can anyone hate it? What is so revolting about it. Have you not ever loved anyone so much that you would do anything to keep them with you? Yes blood is impressive, but not revolting. Impressive indeed.
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Bigotry in any form is disgusting. The problem is that bigotry hides itself so easily. eg, I dont hate fat people, but I stare at them because I cant believe that they let themselves go like that, all the while Im technically overweight, but not as obese as they. It is very hard to have a pure heart, we all have likes and dislikes, one prefers this and another that. What is called bigotry by one person is not bigotry to another. It could be more like politically correctness (is that bad grammar or what?). We need each other, our differences is what makes life real. I cant figure out why anyone would have the arrogance to say that what thier opinion is should stand as the best one. We are like light, the more we mix, the better we see. IMHO.:eek: :Banane30:
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Why Liberals are Right to Hate the Ten Commandments
Victoriana replied to leatha_g's topic in Rants & Raves
TOM, I do want the Ten Commandments to guide my life, and I am not the one imposing them on anyone, remember the author for the Ten Commmandments is God, they are imposed on people because we belong to Him. He has the right to impose and demand. (no offense to those who dont believe that He exist) Remember secondly, He paid a very high price for us so we are twice His. -
Why Liberals are Right to Hate the Ten Commandments
Victoriana replied to leatha_g's topic in Rants & Raves
It seems like the means justify the ends pretty well in Medveds article, which is the logic behind some of the liberal friends I have. The Ten Commandments are called the Ten Pretty Good Suggestions lol. Personally, I like my eleventh commandment " Thou shalt not should on thyself." But you cant say that very fast as it sounds too much like something else. I learned the hard way that living my life in eternal self criticism is a sad way to live. Thats why I like the Ten Commmandments, where nothing I think or do changes the absoluteness of something. Furthermore, thats why I love Christ, as He fulfilled the entire law for me. Now I dont have to should on myself anymore. -
You are getting close to being the number one poster or post person. People cant become posters, lol.:eek: :biggrin1: Oh BTW, Ive been meaning to ask if you really ride a Harley and if you do, do you wear a helmet or a do-rag?:Banane30: :frog:
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Thank you Letha g What a SURPRISE. I forgot how you might have known this till I remembered about our silly profile thingy. Im having a great day, we went to my favorite Chinese food place and my tummy behaved for me and this morning all my kids and my DH sang happy birthday through my closed bedroom door, (they were all ready before me to surprise an on time church arrival lol). So I believe the fifties are nifty, and I think I am just hitting my stride!! Thank you Letha.
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The kind of pain I had was less than stubbing your toe. I mean have you ever kicked your shin? Well you got through that too! Everyone feels pain differently and different methods are needed for everyone. Try not to find yourself in these post. Your surgical experience will be all your own. Probably somewhere in the middle of what you will find on this board. One thing I would encourage you to do is to look beyond the surgery in your mind. The next day when you are home will be such a joy, that well, I did it. I DID it, I did IT!! Then the third or fourth day there comes the withdrawal of the anesthesia, some even feel it as a depression. As long as you know what might lay ahead, you wont be hit by the curve ball. You will find that over time, this is the sanest, most kind thing you could do for yourself. This is what I believe!
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This website is the most helpful site I have ever found, as I have been able to overcome a lot of clutter and messes in my own home. www.flylady.com even has an e-mail system to prompt you if you are prone t be on the computer before getting responsibilities done. This womam is the real thing, she has a testimony about how she overcame clutter and such in her own life. Just take a quick look, Im sure you will love it, fly means F inally L oving Y ourself and she talks about chaos ... C ant H ave A nyone O ver S yndrome.. Humor makes a good medicine!!!:clap2:
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Why dont you ask for a smaller dose that can be doubled to get the same mgs, or ask for a gelcap that could slide down better, I know there are lots of different fish oils, but if he is set on that particuar one, maybe it comes smaller. Its worth a try!
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Mommy Dearest - Continuing issues with mother
Victoriana replied to DynamoMini's topic in LAP-BAND Surgery Forums
I have had so much counseling over the various phases of my life, it seems like I am a living melodrama. I say that only to recall a similar circumstance for me. I had to learn not only to set good boundries, but I had to learn why I wanted her approval so much. Its really natural, but when our mom isnt there to fill our needs we need to get them filled in other nurturing relationships, with people who understand your situation, and that they are safe people to you, not toxic, as it seems to be with your mom. It benifits us to love and honor our mom, as best we can without sacrificing our own dignity. When our mom cant be a true mother figure, we ache for that to be filled. This is where the difficulty setting boundries lies. It benifits us to sort of take the mothering roll in that relationship and nuture in reverse, and let our needs be filled by others. Some mothers are so unhappy with themselves, they are threatened by their own daughters, and the more you can nurture her, the safer she may feel, but dont expect it. Having any expectations from the relationship only serves to give the other person power over your emotions. I had to learn how to mourn the loss of that mothering relationship from mom, love her for the fact that she gave me life and then released her from fulfilling any of my emotional needs. I had to learn that she could only do what she knew how to do and meeting my needs was not a part of her skillset. I now have a relationship with my mom, its kinda wierd, nothing she says or does anymore surprises me even if it is a new twist. I find myself practicing forgivness internally almost consistantly when I am with her. She just lives in her moments and cant see beyond the present. When I let her off the hook, I find that many conversations meander to new topics (by my leading) and we just keep moving on. I feel sad for her, missing out on knowing the absolute real me, but I guess that sounds arrogant. Its not, its a coping mechanism. I have a lot of peace about our times together, even if they are somewhat contrived at times. Its the safe thing for me to do. A book that helps in setting boundries is an easy read and its called 'Changes that Heal' by the New Life Counseling group, headed by Cloud, Townsend and Artiburn. I feel for you, Mothers are sooo important. Best wishes! -
Homosexual Liberal Atheists ~ What's UP with that?
Victoriana replied to paladin's topic in Rants & Raves
I hate my sins too, and Im sad to say that I caused about 39 of the 40 lashes Jesus took to pay for my sins. I amazes me to think that He took the punishment for people who didnt choose His forgivness just in case they change thier mind and do choose Him. I find it hard to wrap my mind around that one, and ghettofarm24, I still find it hard to forgive the dodo that cut me off in traffic!! -
I need Help to Help my wife with her Big 0's
Victoriana replied to Tired_Old_Man's topic in The Lounge
Well TOM, you are her safe place and as Dr. Phil would say, her soft place to land. I would be irritated with my family too! Why is it so hard for people to see past thier own needs and put someone elses ahead for a season in thier life? I live far from my aging father and it pains me, I love and miss him so much and phone calls can only do so much. I am proud of my son and his wife, who is an elder care giver, as they have moved in with him for a while to help manage his meds and let me know when he has taken a spill or something like that. It will be all too soon and he wont be here anymore. I am glad your wife has the ability to visit as often as she does, even if the distance is far. I know that after her mom is gone, she will be able to hold her head high and look in the mirror without anything bothering her concience. Some of the grandchildren etc may learn this the hard way... I hope not. You have a neat wife. -
Got a tummy tuck this weekend !!
Victoriana replied to yayadod's topic in Plastic & Reconstructive Surgery
I dont know anything about tummy tucks, but someone I know had a body lift and she had to wear a compression garment. I dont know what it does for you, but do you have to wear one? and I was wondering what it helps, is it for pain or swelling or what? and congratulations on the new you! You have done great! -
You have just described me durring my first trimesters when I got preggers!!! Any chance of that? You dont have to answer but, hmmmm.
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Sorry JQ, thats a bit too hard for me right now, but Ill be a cheer leader for ya'll!
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Today I attended my friends funeral. He was a wonderfull and joyful person and both my husband and I loved to work in ministry with him. (we are lay leaders). His whole family and many friends attended a wonderful celebration of his life, and so he is reaping his reward. I am only posting to let you know of his passing as I requested prayer for him a few weeks ago. In Gods mercy, he went fast, but gracefully. What dignity he had, and stregnth. No fear, just peace. It was amazing. God bless you my dear brother, enjoy till we meet you again!
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I need Help to Help my wife with her Big 0's
Victoriana replied to Tired_Old_Man's topic in The Lounge
I have one thing that I am always uplifted by... When I feel blue, I tell my DH and ask him to pray for me,(he knows I mean out loud).. and I just cant discribe the peace. It makes me cry to think of it, God I love that man. Hope you find what you need for her TOM. -
This guy really is the worst of mankind. I am sorry to know of him. Period.