fatgirlsvelte

The professionals at Pacific Bariatric Surgical Medical Group, in July of 2009. Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Hey Team BP, Leaving now for my bariatric seminar at Scripps Mercy. This is a required component of the Kaiser bariatric Options classes in order to be approved since they are contracted through Scripps to perform the operation, and before they give you a surgery date. Am attending the seminar extremely early in the game (usually most don't do the seminar until after their classes are over or the month before they finish), but it's the only date with school starting in two weeks/work travels that won't conflict with the schedule or risk my placement in the Kaiser program. I may get my date earlier because of being over a 40 BMI and having a co-morbidity. Am a bit nervous to do the psychiatric testing because I've been diagnosed with a mood disorder and eating disorder, but everything I've read so far says not to worry due to the commonality of eating disorders/psychiatric issues in our community. Anyway, here I go. *Queue Rocky Balboa Theme*

This is a great post! Backs are important you know...that's definitely a challenge (haha)--I am so happy to read that they are improving since the surgery. That's amazing, and your attitude is 100%. lunch breaks are my achilles heel too...sometimes I feel leaving the work desk is impossible, but I need to focus on at least doing the pre-op walking program. Freaking amazing on being able to cross your legs and the Zumba gig...I wish I lived closer so I could come out and support you! #YAS

Money...is always just the biggest stressor. Sorry to read you're going through that. One of my dear friends, who is a Pastor, used to say, "If it's money trouble, it's not trouble," and I've still yet to figure out what he meant by that (hope this makes you smile a bit). Awesome on the surgery, even with the hurtles coming at you...and I love that you are aware of having the 100% support of your man. That's just incredible. Keep him close to your chest, and keep up the awesome work on your fluids/protein/et al.

I am not a cryer. Today, I made the food Bucket List...and when talking myself through it in my YouTube vlog, I cried. I have avoided doing this because the initial idea of the exercise was terrible to me. We are fat...so why spend the six months we are supposed to be learning to disconnect with food eating our desires? The Options program leader said it was time for me to finish the assignment, as the others in my class already had and were talking about it gleefully; rolled my eyes and said I'd have it done before the next class. Never before has my brain comprehended it's learned reality that food equals happiness; that food was the bright spot in a lifetime of a lot of pain...and the grief washed over me. It was totally unexpected. I tried to recover, but it killed my energy, and I had to have a long heart-to-heart with myself this afternoon about reality versus perception; that food truly is not happiness, and that I (we) are addicted to it. I've been told this countless times in eating disorder counseling the last two years. I could recite the words...but today, I comprehended them. The exercise of going through writing down all the foods that will be off limits in five months, or that I won't be able to have en masse with family and friends...coming through to the other side was too much to handle. Psychologically, my brain literally connected the following foods to the best moments in my life: traveling, NY Fashion Week, celebrations, love...and for just a brief moment, it thought that I was writing happiness off as a death wish. Well, I took a really long nap (emotional exhaustion?), and now I'm through to the other side of this, and can see how amazingly wonderful this exercise was for the process—it was hard, but I made the connection: With this, now I can go back to the past in a way, and address each of these foods as I travel not as happiness, but simply as fuel for the experiences around me. I don't desire the foods, I desire the flashes of brilliance surrounding the food. It's going to be a long five months—but here I go. Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Lady...you're doing amazingly—think of all your body is going through right now! The hormones! The anxiety! The surgeries! The fact that you are aware of what's going on and can address it levelheaded is 99% of the game even though it sucks...but I can read through your words that you are tough as nails. 5 pounds is amazing—and the sedentary in and of itself is a blessing: think of how ace you'll be once your back and brand new again, on a fully healed replacement. Your crew is here for you--you're in it to win it! Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

IM me if you need to talk through anything at all with your Papa. Have lost both of my parents; it's so gosh darn difficult. Sometimes an unbiased ear can be a good platform to jump off of. Remember self care in all of it too... As far as your medications? You just be over the moon about that! Congratulations! Lovely with the family time...and so awesome to read your post. Hang in there, Christina. Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

@@KristenLe, Good on you. That can't be easy, especially when you are in pain. Are you in physical therapy right now? Keep your head up!

AMS3188—maybe we are No surgery date yet—five more months of this class and then I'll know. (Maybe a bit sooner since I'm doing Bariatric seminars this Wednesday, pretty far ahead of schedule). Am really thrilled that there is much of a time period that my insurance requires for backleg work on the surgery. I've already frequented the psychology department for two years prior to making this decision for Bariatric to address Binge Eating Disorder, but now that I'm in it deep; around people who are dealing with the same issues with 1-3 times per week, that are the same weight and/or heavier, that have co-morbidities that are terrifying...it makes everything "real," not just a few of psychiatrists who are lean telling you that you have an addiction and an eating disorder and walking through DSM procedural advice...but it's worth it. Wouldn't be comfortable going into surgery at this point, especially after this exercise. I've got a lot of work to do yet, and none of it involves eating all the food on this list. Well, except for citrus and coffee. I'm holding on to those for dear life right now. Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Thanks Gina, appreciate it. We have some pretty incredible hurdles to scale...and that's why we are all here together, I think. Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Day two of sitting on the reaction... The exercise in and of itself was critical, in my opinion. Just the neurotransmitters connecting in my brain was worth it—the reality of the situation is that all of this poured out, but I won't be able to realistically eat all of the foods I wrote down if I intend to loose weight--period end of story. It will be good to talk about this at the next class; so many were gleefully discussing their lists, and I hadn't completed mine yet—I'd like to throw this counter argument into the hat. It's reality vs. perception--and that's the biggest challenge for most, no?

I love this post so hard. The "All I could come up with..." part. Good stuff.

Love the idea of meeting at a Maoz in the future ❤️ — I've got some trip planning to do. I imagine that I'll dedicate a whole 10 days to the Wisconsin-Chicago-NYC throwbacks since it is easier to spend a few days at each spot. And Union is just fine, of course. I'll mark it on the board as a part of the master plan. Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Word. Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Note: this is totally hitting the nail right on the head, btw. Sent the list to my best friend, and her response was, "OMG—such awesome memories of us at Olive Garden and Buffalo Wild Wings!" Then, "...what a realization to have." Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Holla, Week five is upon me (19 weeks of classes to go) and our little book recommends this beginner's walking table. Goal is to set the alarm fifteen minutes earlier, simply roll out bed, and stumble out the door for 10 minutes with incremental increases over the next 12 weeks. We'll see how it goes. I am a late-night exerciser with 11pm being my preferred workout time. However, with full-time work and school, it simply isn't realistic since it takes an hour or two to wind down post-workout. The defining moment of "My G-d I need to change my body," hit after a 5k marathon—at my HW (386+ pounds), I had irreparably damaged my ankles from keeping middle-of-the-pack pacing in a severely morbidly obese frame; a fractured talus was the end of the line. The doc said no more running; with the very real possibility that I may never run again as subtalar arthritis has onset. Was just 27 years old at the time. So, I've decided to gingerly embark on this little walking program that my medical team cleared. Between this, yoga, and the Water sports, am hoping as I lose weight, the decrease in pressure on my ankles, the increase in bone density from proper nutrition, and muscle strengthening...perhaps when I drop below 200lbs., I'll be in a good place to run again without sustaining injury. Goal is September, 2017 for a slow 5k if my left ankle can hang. In perspective, the running thing has really been the biggest blow in all of this. I am a natural marathoner under all this weight, and the fossilization of my joints and being told "no more" about broke my heart. Walking isn't anywhere near the rush of running--it would be like comparing walking up a flight of stairs to hiking the Highlands of Scotland. Since being ordered to stop running, I've tried it three times. Even without conditioning, I am (idiotically) able to handle 3.5-7 nonstop miles...but recovery takes upwards of ten days, and the inflammation/immobility is horrific. After the last run in late-April, I decided to obey the Doctor's orders completely because I couldn't walk unassisted for three whole days. Still roll down my window and shout at my people who are running down the road, though. Once a runner, always a runner. But...no harm in learning to walk before I run again, I suppose. ❤️ —K Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Somehow didn't gain weight since my last weigh-in for class, even with the stress of the red carpet premiere last week, and travel this last four days eating out for every single meal. Down -9 pounds in the last 22 days. This is our self-check for class tonight. Where are you at? #acknowledgeaddiction Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

WEAR. IT. Holy Guacamole! Today was the first time EVER I have not had to ask for a seatbelt extender on a plane. The last time I flew was March from Istanbul, Turkey, and required one. They also made me sit in my own row since a passenger complained about being "of size." So in 18 weeks I've managed to take off enough weight to not be mortified anymore! Also, they let me sit in the emergency row AND the arm on the seat went down! BOO-YAH. In Seattle for a few days working with the Symphony up here. Real concern though: eating out. I've been making extremely conscious choices, but I haven't eaten out in basically six weeks. Having no control over my food while networking is super concerning. No alcohol. Nothing fried. It's a start anyway. Hope all my loves are doing well this week here, let me know how you are, —K Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

NBD at all! Let me know if it says I'm post op somewhere and will change it. Looked at my profile from the phone and can't tell--will double check the desk top version shortly! Trust me—alcohol is going to be a no-go post surgery whatsoever. Am so effing worried about trading addictions that I won't risk it. I have the binge-eating well under control two years into BED psychotherapy at this point, but the only addiction that I'll risk trading for is bringing back my passion for surfing a decade ago. I have a "**good food** bucket list," plan—Mostly I eat very well now, but every once in awhile since I've elected to pursue the surgery indulge with something on the list ... ehm, "with awareness," if that makes sense? The citrus, crunchy, chicken, and spicy food off-limits items post-surgery is incredibly saddening, so on my bucket list I have tangerines, jalapeños, chicken, and nuts 5x per week pre-op scheduled into my calendar HAHAHAHA. The bucket list isn't fast-food filled, just stuff that I'm going to have to give up totally for at least 18-24 months post-op. Long gone are the days of eating a whole extra-large greasy pizza, but did have a few slices of that gluten-free pizza last night (picture here so you can see what I made at MOD. Very thin, funky pizza, 11-inches across)--in fact, throwing the rest of it out was upsetting a bit. Am still learning the "leave food on your plate," thing. I do it, but for some reason it inherently upsets me—thankful to have almost six more months to work on this mindset. Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

I'm currently in Pre-op classes until December 31st; my surgery should take place in mid-January. The weight I've lost so far pre-op (386➡️331.8) has been on my own full-food. The doctor said I won't have to go on liquids until 48-hours before surgery. I think with the surgery I would have not been able to consume even 1/3 of this!? Does it say somewhere that I've had the surgery? I'm pre-op right now. Maybe I messed up an option? Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App All right, girl... I have been rooting for you since your bathing suit post for real and I am so happy for your success!! That said, I would not be me if I did not say **based on my experiences** to slow your roll a bit. The bread, alcohol, ice cream, all in one meal at four months out? No. You should not deprive yourself (that's why I got the sleeve vs bypass), but maybe pick ONE of the three vices? The servings of all are teeny, but put together, that's a pretty big meal -- one I couldn't handle at 3 years post op. Added all together, that is certainly over my 1500 calorie range, and at four months, I was still at 500 - 800 calories, but again, that's just me. YOU DO YOU. You know what's best for you. Just consider my opinion. Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

I love "Oi" abbreviated as "over indulgence" hahahah!!! ... "Oi," in my world, is Scots' common slang for "Hey!" (in a bad connotation). Yesterday was fine even with the gluten-free pizza (ate 1/2 of it); today's dinner? Local Seattle artisan foods. Don't usually drink but I have two drinks in my system at the moment. Ordered prawns, brocollini, almond crusted goat cheese and a quarter-loaf, and hipster homemade milk-chocolate ice cream with the whiskey. I'm hardly above my calorie limits on the full-food plan, but it's definitely not foods included on the plan... It also isn't McDonalds. I know we aren't supposed to attach emotions to food, but do have to say this may be the best meal I've ever had as far as flavor pairings. My initial goal was to avoid alcohol all together...but it didn't happen. (See pictures for portions, foo-foo fussy). Not beating myself up. Over-Indulgences don't happen often in my end anymore, and it's my last night in Seattle. Lost five+ pounds in the last week, and with my activity ... just truly doesn't matter. BUT it can't be a daily thing ((And I just got that bill... It absolutely WILL NOT be a daily thing. HA!)) Cheers! Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

I overate yesterday by 923 calories (oi) and that was with being careful. What put me over the top? The Starbucks Macchiato/the panini I had when I got off the plane ravenous. I'm not supposed to have any gluten at all—and between that and the half a sandwich at dinner I was up all night sick. Being tired, you crave carbs, which creates a vicious cycle BUT— Today I've been ultra careful, and have another 1300 calories to consume—the pizza place across from the hotel has a small gluten free pizza option and I have loaded it up with veggies/lean Protein. I also found a Jimmy John's THANK GOODNESS so that I can do the unwich. Total lifesaver. Am going to walk three miles which will make up for yesterday...proof is in the pudding that researching and planning ahead is critical for success though. Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Just seeing this now in my notifications...Not sure how I missed it! I understand we are all suffering in some capacity, or we wouldn't be electing to pursue having one of our organs cut out/banded off. Even with this though, we have to find a way to embrace who we are in the present; a reckless love if you will. Can't stress enough what happens when we break all the layers of the psychosis down and get to that damaged place that needs to be filled with love, awareness, and self care. Then... everything becomes clear, and our battle is much easier to fight— there is this sudden realization in knowing what we are fighting for. It's not a fight for who we hope to be, but who we actually are—our best selves; the self that will carry us a long way if we honor the body. Anyway, that's enough philosophical gab from this chick tonight. From the article...THIS-THIS-THIS: We should all print it out and tape it on our mirrors, our dashboards, the back of our front doors so we are forced to read it before we leave for the day... (Quote) "Your body is the vehicle that carries you from place to place, and allows you to do activities that you enjoy and that make life exciting. Your body does not define who you are as a person. Of course I advocate that you do all in your power to treat it well by eating nutritious foods, exercising, getting the sleep you need and controlling stress so that you stay healthy and strong. However, we shouldn't let worrying about how we look effect our ability to engage in life and enjoy what's going on, no matter what the season or mode of dress. With some thought and awareness, it is possible to begin feeling better about ourselves, quiet the inner critic, and enjoy bathing suit season. (...) Body image is a funny thing; it is not based on facts, but on emotions. And it is ever changing, sensitive to our moods, the environment, circumstances, and our physical experiences. Our body image is a learned behavior, shaped by our families, peers, culture, and most definitely by the media." (End quote.) Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App All dis werk yassssssss ❤️ Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Hey Team BP, Macronutrients are the theme for the next two weeks. Have been working on a lot: Wednesday's class—the counselor actually had me speak about Bariatric Pal, and the support network/informational opportunities that I've see so far. Maybe some of my class members will join in the future! Kitchen overhaul happened on Friday night; tossed everything that was even remotely unhealthy, and totally cleaned out the cupboards. All alcohol was also dumped down the drain. I'm not a big drinker by any means, but people gift lots of liquor and wine to me...it is something I would love to move away from. The six month program has a VERY specific list of foods recommended for consumption, so I bought my groceries online for delivery with Von's. Didn't want to have any bright ideas in the store and add non-recommended foods to my cart. Made my hearty vegan crockpot chili, and meal prepped through Tuesday—I'm a lily when it comes to food, so my leftovers have to be relatively fresh. I can't prep for more than 3 days at a time. This morning double fueled because I just got back from an awesome hike, and it was incredibly smart...burned off everything I consumed and then some. (2) GF everything bagel with avocado, uncured turkey bacon, whipped cream cheese; 1/4c. cottage cheese with fresh blueberries. The trail I discovered today is a little gem! They have signs everywhere that talk about the benefits of exercise hidden around, little reading nooks, playgrounds, AND it's on a lake. This week, my goal is to climb all over the playground bars and such. Misfit had their Shine activity trackers on sale for only $39.99, so I purchased one. It syncs with My Fitness Pal, and doesn't need to be recharged so I can wear it 24/7 for six months. I don't carry the phone with me everywhere, so really needed a solution for food to activity ratios. Onward! ❤️ —FGS Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Thanks for the feedback Mrs. Sug-ah hopefully some of the idea lead to fruition. My neighbor was happy to take the Hansen's Soda off my hands in the clean out... no need to waste the precious stuff HA! Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App You're the best. Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App