fatgirlsvelte

Am very active as a rule; especially Water sports. My whole life I've spent covered up in a full one-piece with board shorts and a long-sleeved rash guard before hitting the waves, but... Part of the pre-op courses stress the importance of loving the body we are in now, or else we risk not loving the post-op body later. Decided to finally take on my personal leap of bravery challenge yesterday and hit the water in a two-piece with the only coverup being sunscreen in my 335.0 pound body. It was AWESOME. I know plenty of people disagree with the sentiments here, but have to say—when I look back on this photo in a year, I will smile remembering the exact moment I embraced my life and stepped over the threshold. Body love is caring enough to take responsibility for your health. Body positivity is loving yourself at all of the stages. The BF took this amazing picture. Don't care how much I weigh now, everything about this picture is "Me," and totally perfect. Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Hey Team WLS, Wanted to post a proper farewell to the community before ghosting, since so many of you have been supportive and informative since June when I began classes at Kaiser. As of last week, I'm just 5 pounds shy of 100 total pounds lost from my all-time highest weight of 426 pounds. The reason I decided to pursue surgery is that I plateaued—and thought then 70 pounds lost was the best that I could do. Yes, the loss has been slow, but it is a fact: I've maintained this 72 pound loss over the last three years. Since starting the Kaiser preop classes in July, I've lost another 23 pounds (I learned about macronutrients and protein!). I've been treading deep waters in the community for 16 weeks, and have gained invaluable knowledge. Surgery, at least where I stand now, is not for me. There isn't enough data for women of childbearing age, and I'm concerned about a host of issues. Short term? Yes: surgery addresses weight and the various complications that come with obesity. Long term? I want to see data on osteoporosis, and what the aging Bariatric population looks like. I understand the very valid arguments for everyone who is pro-surgery, and I totally respect you for the decision to go under the knife—more so now. It addresses the immediate and/or looming threats of obesity...when the surgery is used as a tool. In the past sixteen weeks, I've seen more trouble than not in the WLS Community, and quietly observing the trials and tribulations...at least in regard to **my individual case**, the surgery would make my quality of life terrible. From where I stand now, I don't want to spend the rest of my life not drinking Water with dinner. I don't want to worry about spicy things, mineral water, fruit acids, and knowing that I have titanium staples in my body. I don't want to have the very serious major surgery, and with the statistically guaranteed future weight gain, go through the mind-**** that is post-op guilt/freak out. Currently the only comorbidity I have with obesity is the number on the scale; no issues with blood pressure, cholesterol, diabetes, etc. I've had long talks with the physiologist that is our class counselor, and my past injuries in running are quite common. The more active you are, the more likely one is to get injured, especially with running. Injuries happen; keep going. Strengthen. Come back better. If I lost all the weight with surgery, I'd still be the same young woman I am right now, just smaller. If I lost all the weight without surgery, I'd still be the same young woman I am now, just smaller. ...and at 5:00am right now, I am who I am. I weigh 330.4 pounds, am a size 20W, 2X. I surf, swim, do yoga. I'm strengthening my legs and am able to sprint for short spurts, working up to long distance running again. I travel the world. I was in a professional photoshoot 2 weeks ago for an upcoming event, and loved every single picture. This past weekend, I purged my closet, and literally donated 75% of my prior wardrobe instead of hanging on to the past 4-6X, 26-32W pieces. My life is fun, my brain is cool...and I am comfortable in my current body. There is always room for improvement and the human body is capable of incredible things—I will continue to pursue improvement and peak fitness, but I am also grounded in the present. This is all telling in and of itself. The only guaranteed outcome of the surgery is forced portion control. Physiologically, with surgery or not, our bodies will fight us to stay fat for our entire lives. It will always be a battle. I'm giving myself until my next birthday to quietly and diligently keep plugging away at my weight now that I've learned information that has clearly broken the through plateau. In eight months, I will re-evaluate. Should I hit my benchmark of continued weight loss, I'll know I made the right choice. If I have gained weight back? I'll reconsider the surgery. For the surgery OGs that stepped in to provide tenured knowledge, for the newbies who shared their recent experiences, for those successful; but above all, for those who are struggling, I am inspired by you. All of my love, and thank you, —K Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

My most heartfelt thanks to everyone. A little update... Last night is what I intended to be my final bariatric class. The facilitator and physiologist had me tell the story a bit more in depth to our class, and that I wouldn't be pursuing the surgery. The reaction wasn't what I was expected— They (classmates and facilitator) have asked me to stay until the end (December 14 is the last class) because I "provide the other perspective we (the class) usually doesn't have" in the room each week. The course is called "Options," with the end goal being education and providing enough information and support for patients whichever way they choose. After class, on the way to my car...we had an hour long talk about life, love, and the pursuit of health (BAHAHA). Our class is from 6p-8p, and I can't believe that we all sat out there in the hospital parking lot laughing and yelling and loving on each other until just after 9pm...like a family. They've asked me to also keep managing our "secret surgery group" Facebook page (I was prepared to hand it off to another moderator), and want me to change it to an overall weight loss page...where we OF COURSE will still talk about bariatric surgery. I can't reiterate enough that I simply have the highest respect for anyone who pursues this surgery. It is such a dramatic and life altering move as that "final straw" if you will. I just realized that I'm not at the "final straw," and have the ability and patience to W E R K right now. The other few people I've informed are also relieved, just from the babies standpoint. Everyone is in agreement that if I'm still heavier in my older years post-family planning, then it would be wiser to consider it then. Also nearly burst into tears out there. One said she thinks I should change my major in school and become a nutritionist specializing in the severe obesity population...that is probably the greatest compliment I have ever received. Ever. So, onward. Still a part of the inner-circle community, I just orbit in the opposite direction. ) All love, K PS. I announced on Instagram and had a handful of people unfollow me right away...but woke up to a whole new batch of humans. It's incredible that when we change the way we look at things, those things change, isn't it?

Thanks lady... Please keep in touch. I want to hold you to that Maoz date in the future... @ and @Djmohr... thank you so much!

It also takes an enormous amount of dedication and commitment to be successful without WLS...in my conclusion, it literally is the same amount of effort, just without forced reduction of portions and not as quick. I'm on the right track, and significantly so. It will all be good.

@@KristenLe thank you so much, Kristen. Appreciate you more than you could know.

@@Babbs bless you...thank for your kind words. <3 One day at a time! Hope to keep in touch.

@@LipstickLady thank you dear heart...please list me in the will as a titanium benefactor (ha!). I appreciate all you've guided me through more than you could know! I will go dormant, but definitely keep in touch and update (if that's OK?). I guess all perspectives are good in a bariatric forum...it keeps things real. I just don't know if that's a violation? <3 K

Thanks for this... This is also a possibility for sure. If it is the case and I wait for awhile, it would give me ample time to have all of the babies (hahahaha). Appreciate you.

I forgot to add this to the post—PLEASE keep in touch! I may not be active here, but want to be a part of everyone's journey toward optimum health! We got this. IG: @fatgirlsvelte Email: fatgirlsvelte@gmail.com Text: 323.775.3935 ❤️ Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Hey Team WLS, So...pre-op bariatric classes started at Kaiser Permanente last night. Can hardly believe I'm already on the next six months of learning lifestyle adjustments for the surgery. Attached an image here so you guys can see what we cover over the next six months. It was really difficult to sit through it, and I kept having to remind myself that we are all fighting the same battle, and every individual is in a different stage of the game regarding denial, knowledge, physical ability, et al. issues that are going to be personal struggles they have to work through regarding this process. We had to go around the room like an AA meeting and introduce ourselves, why we were here for the surgery, what we hope to get out of the class. Several individuals had taken the class already but dropped (!!!) because they didn't like the exercise component and switched locations, delaying their surgery by another six months; the majority wanted to learn better eating habits and to stop "eating mostly meat," and were upset that Kaiser SoCal required six months of classes before surgery. Was honest and let the room know that I've been addressing the obvious underlying eating disorder issues with Kaiser for the last two years prior to even considering surgery, and that I hoped to unlearn the lingering adaptive habits associated with binge eating/furthering practice on coping mechanisms. I haven't had a binge episode in over one year, but sometimes I have moments of near-relapse. Someone squawked that they "don't have an eating disorder, I just like food!" and the counselor (thankfully) jumped in and said that it was good I've already worked on the ED angle; reinforcing with the squawker that attitude is the specific reason why this class is required--whether or not an individual has been diagnosed living with an eating disorder, we are all in this position because of an unhealthy relationship with food, and it needs to be addressed before surgery. Her frankness and not boxing with kid's gloves was appreciated. There are some hard truths we have to look in the eye here. So, that's it. I don't think I'll be going back to school this fall because of the difficulty of changing my entire lifestyle around--I need to focus inwardly instead of outwardly right now. All love, —K

Briggs-Myer personality type is no excuse (hahaha!). —an INTJ Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

I feel you. I'm three months out from finishing my program (1/2 way there!) with Kaiser, and every day I ask myself if this is the right way to go about it, especially since I'm taking off quite a bit of weight preop. ... Losing weight is the crux of most of our lives though. The reality of the surgery is that the only thing you're going to get out of it as a tool is portion control. It doesn't make you happier, find a mate, etc. etc., and if you approach it realistically? It is an easier way to look at things, I think. Every time I have a doubt, I look at how much healthy stuff I have to eat as the physiology of my body is literally trying to keep the over production of fat cells inflated. In order to be successful at this point, I need the surgery as a tool to help portion control. I'm saying this now, but tomorrow I'll probably be thinking about the titanium staples they leave in your body forever again HA! You got this. Just ... pray/meditate/talk it out, and you will make the right choice for you, no matter what. Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Literally JUST updated my Instagram profile bio to say that I'm a big fan of biological science, after someone posted a picture of a breve latte (minimal Protein, at least half a day worth of sleeved caloric intake limit). I thank the universe EVERY DAY that our program has an incredibly in-depth nutrition element, and focuses on food education/addiction adjustments. What people see trending in the networks does not equate to proper Macronutrient intake or even basic understanding that calories = fuel. This surgery's one goal is to manage portion control. That's it—the choices made to fuel our bodies are absolutely critical. Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Here's my fave general blanket statement, and one of the reasons why my nickname is "Salt," -- In the most singular California-girl-monotone you can possibly muster, "If I wanted your opinion, I would have asked." Period. Then walk-off. Another good one is "Get bent." PS. All the feedback here about not telling anyone about your surgery? I've been taking this route too, and it's been much, much easier on my brain. HR knows I'll be out later this year for "a surgery," my boss (a senior executive) knows it will be Bariatric-related. Otherwise my medical support group knows about it, and my medical team. Select family members know that I'm "working on my health." All of my social weight-loss accounts are relatively anonymous, too. Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Haven't posted since last Wednesday night—my head was spinning post-Pacific Bariatric required seminar. I attempted to throw out a bit of dark humor that night with the off-key T/F question on our written exam Scripps requires, and it was hugely concerning to a few people—but overall, I've been dreadfully uncomfortable since the seminar, and tonight in my class was totally validated. Check it out— I travel frequently, and had to attend this particular seminar, and not a future date "field trip" with my entire class. I'm in the Kaiser SoCal program...in addition to six months of classes we have to meet with Scripps/Pacific Bariatric as well, since they perform the surgery contractually--last week was my chance to attend the seminar, and no one knew me in the auditorium (most classes go together as support groups and knew each other), and there were about 300 people in attendance. After the presentation, the floor was open to questions. Something I've been very concerned about is having a baby post-surgery, because I want ALL of the babies (even if that realistically means adoption), so I thought this was an excellent time to inquire as 1) this was the point of the seminar, and 2) I couldn't be the only woman thinking about this in the world. When I raised my hand, this was the exchange between the surgeon (male) doing the presentation and me: "You, in the back." "Hi. I have a question about pregnancy post-surg—" "Well, I can't tell you. I've never been pregnant, next question." (Laughter) "No, excuse me—you need to answer this question please; I am here for information. What is the impact of this surgery on becoming pregnant and nourishing a baby during the pregnan—" "Look, just wait 1-2 years and then talk to your doctor after the surgery. What I can tell you is that when you lose weight you'll be able to play with your children and that will be rewarding." "No, you're not listening—I don't HAVE childr—" "Next question, you, over there." There was a murmur in the audience, but I just ducked low, embarrassed, thinking it perhaps WAS a dumb question. Went home. Did the exam and physical. Mailed off the paperwork yesterday certified delivery; haven't felt good about the entire experience. Thought it was "just me" overreacting... Well. In class tonight? The physiologist asked how the seminar went; told her it felt a bit off, and didn't elaborate further. She said, "Yeah, that's what all of the classes have been reporting and we are having a meeting about it internally—apparently the surgeon was difficult, which is a shame, because he's considered one of the very best in the field. Did you notice anything? Did you ask any questions?" "Yeah, we didn't click. I asked about post-surgery pregnancy and he just—" "OH MY G-D, YOU ARE THE ONE EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT—I don't believe it! We are meeting because of this issue——all the students are talking and all of the doctors and counselors know! First, know that this won't happen again, and secondly, we are going to work as a team to put together information on post-surgery pregnancy because there really isn't much out there, and we think it is an incredible area of opportunity to cover since more than half of the population receiving this surgery are women, and women of childbearing age are becoming a normalcy (...)." a) I don't feel like so much of a dolt now, wasn't overreacting, and c) now the Bariatric department is working on gathering information about post-surgery family planning for future patients. Super stoked that a lot of sweetness is coming out of a sour situation. It means so much that enough of our peers; peers that don't even KNOW me, came back to KP and spoke up that what happened at the seminar was a problem in a big way. It wasn't a question they had, they didn't know if I was in KP or self-funded, the question may have not even been applicable to them...but there were people in that room who stepped up to the plate to make sure this didn't happen again, and suggested that the information should be integrated into the program. #yas. Anyway, that's the follow-up. Onward. Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

*shrugging.* Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

@@WLSResources/ClothingExch I read this piece in the NYT too... Overall (this is a general statement @WLSR/CE, not aimed at you specifically) Also agree that a surgeon's perspective can be different, but in the case of educational inquiries, being put aside is not appropriate. I didn't ask, "Hey, cute white coat Doc, where did you get it?" The seminar served specifically has a platform for education, and I (as well as a few others, not exclusive here) had disregarded concerns, and IMO, this impacts the patient's choice on surgery locations and other considerations. Regardless of the event though, good is coming out of the situation, so all will be OK.

@@theantichick thanks for the great feedback here. Just found out that this surgeon was retired, and a legend for his poor bedside manners are a part of that legend, inclusive of him being a pioneer in the VSG procedure. So...respect for his technical understanding is there, but for Heaven's sake he was flippant. As far as the pregnancy goes, I'd love to have a baby naturally, but am definitely just in the forecasting stages. I'm 29 now, and my employer pays for 75% of all adoption costs. All in all, I may end up adopting, which is just as (important/appealing/fulfilling/fill in the blank here). It's going to be at least 33-35, so timeline wise, pregnancy should be fine if it happens post-surgery. As far as KP goes? I've heard some not so killer things elsewhere...but my team here is stellar. I've been in treatment for a few ongoing issues for the last few years now, and I genuinely feel like I'm in great hands—the only other time I've felt this expertly cared for was in MN with Mayo. Thanks again, @@theantichick. Good to have a medical professional jump in here.

@@James Marusek, my responses in bold: The statement "half of the population receiving this surgery are women", isn't really true. Most of the individuals receiving weight loss surgery are women. I am not sure of the statistics but it may be 4 to 1. I don't know why because obesity is shared somewhat equally between men and women. ​The majority of the individuals in my class are men. Perhaps it is different nationally? I'm quoting verbatim what was said, and can't speak to the blanket statement. SoCal KP may have an arch, who knows. --- From my perspective, I would rather assess the quality of my surgeon by his/her technical expertise in performing the surgery than in his/her bedside manners. But maybe that is just me. Thought on this point, and my opinion—I don't accept this at all. If a patient cares enough to inquire and understand, the information needs to be given point blank, not totally dodged. Follow-up from KP was, and again verbatim, that this doctor was considered one of the best in the field and pioneered the VSG—didn't realize he was retired. Anecdotal, was also informed this morning that historically he was considered the worst in the field with bedside manners (which is sort of hilarious). All in all, it sounds like it was just a bit of a disaster overall—old and retired, brilliant, and salty surgeon of the Old School, who is a legend for his behavior. Assessing the quality of work is critical, but nothing excuses being a jerk. I don't care how good someone is—a certain level of professionalism from my POV is necessary.

Thanks @Daniotra...but the real top-shelf people here are the ones that took the feedback from this back to KP and made change happen. Admittedly, I was so embarrassed that I never intended to bring it up again. Had a draft written on Friday night for a post here, but it read like I was a "victim," and I couldn't find the right words to say "this Doc wasn't cool and I'm worried about having all the babies!" Am thankful that our peers are willing to make noise, even when one of their own becomes an Ostrich (temporarily). Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Good morning, • What are challenges you're working through right now? • Areas of improvement? • How about wins? Let's talk. Let's have a good week. —FGS Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

There is no reading between the lines for question No. 1 in the written exam, and Pacific Bariatric cuts right to the chase. Yes it's true. But with a funny bone and a good attitude, you can see the humor and potential in it. All love, —K Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Responding to both posts here— Have been in counseling for two years prior to pursuing the surgery regarding the food intake, and my hospital requires at least six months of behavioral training before approving the surgery to address the underlying issues at hand. They do not approve the surgery until all of the courses and counseling are complete, and extensive psychiatric evaluations have been completed across two different hospital care systems. As it currently stands, I have been approved to take the courses; not for the surgery as of yet, and am in that process. Who knows--in December, I may not be approved by surgeon, only time can tell. How the counseling/classes has shaped my current POV: Using the example of a being separated by only a banana a day reads to me like absolute victim mentality. We all know good and well that the vast majority of bariatric patients simply haven't just been consuming a banana per day difference than the "straight-weight" human being, otherwise we wouldn't be in the current place we are today. At a certain point, psychologically, recognizing that weight is setting in, especially using your slow gain model, should be addressed from a self-control and exercise issue, and if one is truly paying attention to their physicality and weight, this would be stopped in the 10-30 pound mark. Calorie in/calorie is something I absolutely buy into. To maintain a weight of over 300 pounds, consumption of at least 3,000 calories per day in addition to working against one's own body weight maintains that scale number, and 3,000 calories isn't a banana. We aren't victims, we are responsible. Choice/action versus reaction. I am always up for learning all of the perspectives on this journey though--I found Dr Weiner's contact information, and I'll be reaching out. I'd love to hear his perspective on what I'm being taught, and will follow-up if/when I hear back.

Yep, according to the key, "true" is correct. ... Theoretically though, this isn't wrong on their end. Poorly/crassly worded? Yes. Incorrect? No. Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App