heartfire

I went to my seminar last night. They talked mostly about bypass b/c that's what they do locally. I have to go a few hours to the facility that does LB. I knew that going in. That's why I've been researching online since I talked with my PCP last month. Anyway, what last night DID do for me was cement my decision. Insurance picks up all the costs except for any co-pays and travel expenses, of course. After I got home, the kids stayed in the living room and my friend and I had a chance to talk in the kitchen. I need to go through a WL class for 5 months and she said that maybe I wouldn't need the surgery then. I got a chance to explain to her WHAT LB was and that I can lose the weight, I can't keep it off. I think she "got it" after our talk. I told her I've basically given up at this point and need some help. So she is supportive and that's good. I'm glad. Just wanted to update you. Thanks.

rharriet, You have GOT to be kidding me!! Does NOTHING happen in that town of yours that they need to write an article about your work-out habits!?! As far as the cheatin' or leavin' I'm sure those are already circulating, you just haven't heard about it yet!

Wheetsin, First, congratulations! Enjoy as much of the pregnancy as you can. Meaning it's not all going to be great but take the good stuff where you can and enjoy it! Second, how very frustrating! The way my hormones rage during a normal cycle for me, pregnant, I'd probably try to hurt someone!! Sounds like your regular dr is on your side, keep her in your hip pocket and pull her out when you need the idiots in OB to do what you tell them to. Take care of yourself in the meantime and do what you need to for you and the baby.

I'm hoping my friend stays supportive but I'm not really sure how she feels about it. I just told her I was looking into this and left it at that. A few days later she called and wanted me to look at Oprah's website for her trainer's new best life diet thing. She wants us to do this thing together. It costs monthly and she thinks it would be good for us to do together. Thing is, she doesn't have a lot to lose and she lost a bunch of weight on the low-carb thing, so we'll see how supportive she really is if I go through with this. I told DH that if our insurance will pay for it, I'm pretty sure I'm doing it. I got teary when I told him how frutrated I am and how tired I am of all of it. I don't want to be the fat mom when my DD starts school. I hate meeting his co-workers b/c I feel like a fat cow and they're wondering what he sees in me, etc... I feel embarrassed for him. We like to travel and we want to do some day hikes [we live in the mtns] and it's just easier to do w/out this weight. I'm starting to feel it in my joints, my BP is high, my asthma is worse, etc. I'm just sick of it. I'm really hoping that insurance will pick up all of it. I can do small co-pays and I'll have to travel a couple of hours to the hospital but we can't afford more than that. :sad: That's my problem too. I can lose but then gain it back again. I'm HUNGRY all the time. Okay there are a couple of times I not hungry but it's few and far between.

I've told only my DH, mom and one friend that I'm looking in to it. I have the seminar on Wednesday :biggrin: and my friend is watching my daughter for me. She's bringing her kids with her so they can play with my toddler and I told her if any one asks, just say I had a meeting to attend {her kids are 10 and 13 and will ask}. My mom had GBS about 4 years ago so I knew she'd be supportive. DH just isn't sure what to think, I'm sure {he's always supportive of me, I thinks he's worried}. Unfortunately he has to work {he's a fireman} so he can't go with me to the seminar. My friend is also my co-worker, although I work at home and she's in the office. I'm not planning on telling my boss/pastor {we work for our church} just yet. If I go through with it and get approved, I'll tell him when I have a surgery date. I'll want his prayers! :thumbup: I was on WW for awhile and lost a lot of weight {that I've since re-gained all but 10#s of } and got the constant questions as to how much I've lost, can I eat that, shouldn't you do this or that, etc. I DON'T want to go through that again so I don't plan on telling many people. If I do tell, it will be AFTER the surgery {I don't want THOSE opinions either!}.

Hang in there. You're just getting your "Rejection Quotient" up. Seriously. Your quota, not his. My mom is 60 and dating again and she went to some seminar from a guy who wrote a book {don't they all?} and he was talking about your personal "rejection quotient" and how you really need to date whomever and whenever {with in reason} because you get a better idea of what you're looking for, what you will put up with, what you WON'T put up with, etc. And you know what? In the case of my mom, he was right. What she told me she was looking for has changed because of the men she has dated. Each one gave her a better idea of what she wants, what she'll put up with and what she WON'T put up with. It's amazing. This guy also suggested going out with people you would normally not even go out with only because you don't really know if this person is the person for you or not. May be a diamond in disguise. Now again, you need to be safe and if someone is giving you the heebie jeebies, then you must listen to your gut or if they smoke/drink/whatever and you don't tolerate it, that kind of thing, then of course, you don't go out with that person. But basically, be open to new people and ideas, you may surprise yourself. So just look at each date as an experience and the fact that you are getting a better idea of what you truly want from a man and don't settle for less!

WestCoastFatGuy, I KNOW both sides of the issue that you are conflicted about. We have decent public schools where I'm at, as well as several credited homeschooling groups. Our church has a very active preschool where children ages 3-5 attend for a few hours a day. We also have started a tutorial program affiliated with one of the local homeschools that goes to 3rd grade. The parents must get affidavits from the local school districts and the children come to tutoring 5 days a week, from 8:30-2:30. That is what I'm planning for my daughter. I love the idea of homeschooling BUT know that I'm not qualified by any means to teach her myself. A friend, also fellow church member, teaches children out of her home and has taught her 2 daughters since they started school. Her oldest is on a full-ride scholarship for UCLA. She has never stepped foot in a traditional school. I agree with Gadgetlady in that our public schools are a mess. Even in our little town, where people seem to care more and you know just about everyone at the school. I also know parents who should NOT be teaching their kids. I do know that if you are affiliated with the homeschools that I've mentioned above, the children must have placement testing at the beginning of each year and then testing trough-out the year and before school ends to make sure they are where they need to be and if not, what to do about it. There are stop-gaps if you are affiliated with a program. As far as those who aren't, I don't know. That's just what I know and what we have to do with our own students who attend the church school. Hope I helped.

DH and I just both signed. We're in CA and are horrified by the decision by one judge who had a hissy fit. {Punishing all homeschooling families because of one set of horrid parents constitutes a hissy fit in my book.} I personally think he's got something against homeschooling in general. I just read about this in the paper yesterday. We have a toddler that we hope to put in alternative schooling and part of that would be a form of private and homeschool tutoring through at least the middle school years. We'll see about high school when we get to that point. How DARE some judge decide that I MUST put my kid in a traditional program!

Okay, here I go. My very first flight ever was a mere 2 1/2 years ago. You'll note on my side-bar that I am 39 years old. I hate the unknown. My very first train ride when I was 21, I was so nervous I almost threw up. Didn't last long once I got into the experience of the trip. I love trains and want to do more train trips. Anyway, I was flying from Sacramento to Denver for my uncle's wedding. Thank GOD I went with my mom, who flies all the time for work as all I did was follow her through the whole airport stuff. One thing I'm glad I didn't know about before-hand is that Denver is almost one of the worst airports to fly in and out of because of the turbulence. The wind blows constantly. You know what? It was okay! I LOVE to fly! Good thing because we had to fly home again! That, so far, has been my only experience with flying. I'm hoping to be able to fly up to Seattle in May for a cousin's wedding though. Again, I'll be flying out of Sacramento with my mom and on this trip I'll have my almost 2 yr old daughter with me. I used to freak when my DH would talk about going to Disneyworld some day. I told him we'd need extra time on either side of the trip for driving 'cause no way was I flying. I don't tell him that anymore. I'm game for a flight anywhere, anytime! Really, you will be fine. Look for the adventure of it. It really helps that you aren't going by yourself. That's always a huge plus for me when doing something for the first time. Like I said above, I hate the unknown. I like as much detail ahead of time as possible. Try focusing on the trip itself and not so much the flight part of it. That will help your stress levels. Get online and start checking out Vegas and the area. Might think about renting a car for a day or two and going to Hoover Damn one day and Red Rock Canyon another day. We did those and it was great. Sometimes it gets old spending all of your time in the casinos unless that's what you want to be as your focus of the trip. Check out this website: Las Vegas - Official Las Vegas Tourism Web Site As for the possible inflating of the band during the flight. I'd check with my doctor about that. Maybe ask him for a slight de-fill? Don't know as I'm not banded but it's a thought. Oh and as far as the seatbelt, I really think you'll be okay. I weighed about 200 on that trip and I have huge hips. I had plenty of room. I'm 5'3" and my mom who's shorter than I am weighed almost 270 before her GBS and she never had to get an extender. Good luck and HAVE FUN!!!

For those of you all excited about Activia yogurt. Any brand of yogurt eaten every day will do the same exact thing. Yogurt is yogurt. The only difference is the sugar content and flavorings. And the other brands are less expensive. Dannon is making a fortune off of this and it's a rip-off. Just thought I'd let you know. As for the constipation problem, I don't get enough Fiber in my diet so I take a couple of Fiber Choice chewables with Calcium and it works great.

Laura, that one cracks me up too. It's true! My DH decided to stop drinking a 2 liter bottle of soda everyday and lost 10 lbs in a week. I was so mad! Susan, I could never figure out why a man would call his doctor if he had an erection for more than 4 hours! I agree, he'd be calling all his friends. Heck his wife might even be calling all of her friends!

W, don't stress too much about it. I read your earlier posts. It's always difficult to communicate your thoughts and feelings in cyberspace. You are right in that you have to word things carefully in trying to accurately expressing your thoughts. It's hard and I've come across in ways that I didn't intend before. Happens to everyone. Just some thoughts from me based on what I've read from you so far. I know that I don't know you and I'm not judging or trying to fix things for you. I'm also not banded, just in the beginning stages of looking into it. I'm jumping on because I saw it was you who started the thread. In all honesty, please get some counseling. You need some help to get your thoughts in order. You have been through so much in such a short amount of time that it's probably hard for you to even think sometimes. Each thing is so huge one at a time, I can't imagine all of that at one time. Something that my pastor likes to advise people about and I completely agree with him. Don't make any big decisions for a year. Meaning life-changing kinds of things. Examples would be don't purge the house of their things, or sell the house and move, that kind of thing. Maybe in your case it means a revision surgery waiting for a bit. What about something to help you focus. Maybe make it your band or school or just day to day moments or ... Example: "okay, I'm awake this morning, that's good. Now it's time to get up and shower. Now it's time to get dressed. Now it's time to fix a simple, healthy Breakfast and eat it. Now it's time to..." You get the idea. It sounds simplistic and maybe even silly but if it works then who cares! :rolleyes2: Do know that your healing, mentally, emotionally and physically, is going to take some time. There are different stages of grief and no one stage is the same for everyone. Some stages take longer to work out than others. I didn't mean to make this so long. I talk too much even in cyberspace! I just felt the need to post to you and try to help. I do want to apologize if I over-stepped. Try to take care and best wishes to you.

Here are a couple that popped up while reading your post. Racer {racing strips on the car, racer as in type of snake} or Red Racer {if he wanted to incorporate the color of the car} or omwtmmimlc {Old Man With Too Much Money In Mid Life Crisis} or mlcc {Mid Life Crisis Car} Okay, now I'm getting evil. :drool: Sorry! I'm sure he's a great guy and really I am just teasing about the last two. The first two are legitimate ideas that may work for him. Have fun!

Based on your numbers, your BMI is just over into the overweight level. If you drop just a few pounds {6 to be exact} that will drop you just into the normal level. At this point I would go by how you feel and your BMI #. I agree with the others, you do NOT need to lose 20 more pounds. Go to this webpage if you want to play with the numbers for yourself. That's how I got the 168 for you. BMI - Body Mass Index: Adult BMI Calculator: English | DNPAO | CDC The only people who have concave stomachs are ones with serious starvation issues, whether it's an eating disorder, disease or where they live. A healthy person who eats well and exercises, SHOULD NOT have a concave stomach. If you are mentally having a serious problem with this, you really, really need to get counseling. My mom had GBS a few years ago and while still losing weight was diagnosed with malnutrition and anorexia. Seriously. Who'd of thunk. BUT she had a lot going on in her head. A lot of stemming from childhood and the fact that she's been heavy her whole life. She's a lot better now but still thinks "fat" and has a hard time with it on occasion. Luckily she talks to me about it a lot so I can keep an "eye" on her even though we live 3+ hours away. I don't know if that's where you're at in your head or you just have an idea of what you think is ideal but I wanted to throw it out there in case. If you feel you MUST continue to lose weight, I would go no more than MAYBE 10 more pounds. You might also talk to your doctor and find out what he thinks your ideal weight might be. You look great, btw. Take care and best wishes.

Good guess. Oakhurst. DH and I have both been here since we were kids. He moved here from So. Cal. in '76 and we moved up from Fresno/Clovis in '79 after having moved down from No. Cal. We joke that we came from opposite ends of the state to meet in the middle! We love it here. Every time we think about moving, we just can't do it. Our families have all left but they all have to come visit here. Our desire is more for travel than moving anywhere. Don't know if you keep up with the news around here but Oakhurst tried to incorporate with the elections this last month. Didn't happen. I'm sure they'll try again at some point. They've been talking about it for aeons. Sky, you're getting some great advice. I think you should go for it! I agree with another poster that if you're thinking about it this hard and don't do it, when you're old and sitting in your rocker, you're going to regret not doing it or even attempting to do it. Take care all!

Just some thoughts if you really want to move. Make sure you do your research for the area you're headed to. Irvine is nice but as with a lot of California, it's expensive! I live about the middle of the state in the Sierra Nevada mountains right outside of Yosemite and so we don't have the sticker shock in housing like southern CA or the bay area/coast. Also, our gas prices are insane and when in parts of CA if you can't afford to live near work, you're commuting and the freeways are murder in the city areas. Make sure you search the internet for the city and then check it's real estate, both for buying {if you have any ideas of buying someday} and renting. A lot of cities have really great chamber of commerce websites that have adds for jobs, real estate, renting, etc. They usually have FAQ pages that help answer questions about the area. Some will even send you free information in the mail. I agree with a previous poster who said if you're going to do it, do it NOW before husband, kids, etc. Easier in certain ways when you're by yourself but you don't also have company if something goes wrong. Both good and bad! There may be some sort of website that could help you decide what you might like to do or where you might go to do it. Input all of your interests and see what kind of jobs or careers might pop up. Heck, monsters.com {?job search engine?} might even do that. Seems I've seen something like that in ads on TV. Best of luck in your search. And have FUN!

Thanks! I'll take a look at the three and see what's what with them. The way things have sounded so far, they split up the region for the three facilities and you don't get to pick which one you're sent to. I might be wrong, that was just my interpretation. Did you get any paperwork or anything in the mail before the seminar? About how long was it? I have to drive an hour each way to the seminar and I'd like to give my sitter an idea of about how long I might be gone. Thanks again for your help.

As a kid we always had cottage cheese with pineapple or peaches, so you could add the juice to it for flavor. We always used fresh tomato slices as well so I can definitely see adding salsa juice to it as well. I can't stand cottage cheese myself, I have a problem with the texture. Yogurt isn't as bad but I can't get through a whole container of it. Luckily my 21 month old loves yogurt so I share it with her. She also goes through a tub of cottage cheese every week too. I'm trying not to inflict my food hang-ups on her.

Yep, he knows. I was 18 when we met and weighed about 120/125, got married when I was 19 and he's watched my weight go up and sometimes down for the last 20 years. He's very supportive of me. He's the best. Thank God!

I don't know if I'll ever use the card. We have a 21 month old daughter and we hardly ever order off the kids menu for her. Most of it's pretty awful and she wouldn't eat it anyway. We go a la cart for her or get a little plate and she eats off of our plates, which she prefers anyway. She always has to have what we're having {in her mind}. In our small town we won't get any hassles b/c I already change everything I order now anyway, or go a la cart depending on my mood... and they know us. I was on WW for a good while and was constantly getting things added or removed from whatever I was ordering. I, too was a waitress for a while and I tip well if deserved. I don't have a problem asking for what I need. Most are fine to accommodate if they can. I never understand people like the... um... gentleman... {for lack of a better term} above. I always did the best I could for people within what was allowed me as an employee. I have never understood the concept of going "off" on someone who has no control over what is happening in the first place. Kind of like shooting the messenger. And destroying the place or purposefully making a huge mess accomplishes nothing except to say, in front of everyone, that you are backwards, uncouth and an idiot.

Of course you can do it! Just takes some planning is all. You've gotten some great ideas. You'll be fine. Last March, DD and I were home alone and I wasn't feeling good. She was about 10 mnths. DH had gone to work. He's a fireman. What ever bug I got ahold of, got a hold of me big time. I had the flu {not the stomach kind, thank you God!}. I went down hard. By the 3rd day I had bronchitis and a really bad ear infection. My daughter, who's VERY active seemed to know I wasn't with it and stayed quiet and just played on her mat by the couch. I was able to keep her fed and changed but I was barely functioning and it was scary. Everyone I thought of calling I was afraid of infecting and they couldn't afford that. I did have a friend go to the store for me. DH usually works a 3 day {72 hrs} shift but they were short-handed and they actually held him on for TWO MORE DAYS!!!!! I don't think he's ever been so frustrated. Anyway, my point with all of this is that you can do anything you put your mind to if you have to. Resources may be slim for you but you can manage this with a lot of preparation. And obviously, as a single mom, you know all of this already. We are always stronger than we think we are, as women. I'm not technically single but when DH is gone, he's gone. It's just me for 3 days a week. He can't come home in the evenings to give me any help or relief or just jump in the truck and leave work if there is a problem at home. And I talk WAY too much! Sorry it's so long. I do like the idea of one poster asking where you live and maybe someone from the site could help you some in person. I would jump to help someone but I'm not sure if I'd ask for the help. I know, I'm strange. I just always feel weird about stuff like that. Take care.

Questions: What is your daughter going to be doing while you're in surgery? What if you end up having to spend the night in the hospital? I don't want to scare the heck out of you but want you prepared. If she is being cared for by a friend, is it possible for her to be an emergency back-up for your daughter to stay with for a couple of days in case you're just not capable right after surgery? I've got a toddler and know where you're coming from. I'm married but he's a fireman and works a 72 hour shift. I don't know where you live or how financially solvent you are but could you hire a nurse/nanny for a day or two, or to come in for part of the day for a few days? Just a thought. Another thing, let your surgeon/office staff know what you're facing and find out as much as you can about what you'll be able to handle/not handle after surgery. They may even have some resources for a home care nurse. I'd also be cooking for your daughter and stocking the fridge and pantry before surgery so you're good for at least a week, more would be better. You really don't want to have to go to the grocery store when you don't feel good. Best wishes.

It sounds like your regular doctor is supportive of your decision. I wouldn't worry about this doctor. He doesn't know your history. It's up to your regular doctor as to if you get a referral or not AND he already gave you the referral so it's a done deal on that level. I found it interesting that you're 19 and married. How long have you been married? DH and I got married 4 months after my 19th b-day, he was 23, almost 24. That was 20 years ago! My how time flies! Sounds like you've got a good head on your shoulders. Try to stay positive, you've done your research and you're smart. You'll ultimately decide if this is really for you or not. I'm finding this board very helpful {and addicting} so come back often if you have questions or need some encouragement. Best wishes!

At least it's a medicine-type smell and not an old, dead, stinky smell. If it ever does that and/or gets red and tender, go see your doctor ASAP! Then you've got an infection. I'm sure they told you what to look for. Did you ask him about your fat liver? Was it fat as in large or fatty as in too much fat in it? Sounds like he meant size. Does it mean anything for you down the road? Further testing or you just have a large liver and it doesn't mean anything medically for you? Sometimes these doctors drive me nuts!

Crystal, Glad you're doing okay now. Sounds like a pretty scary episode. Don't worry about the nurses who cleaned you up, believe me, they've seen a lot worse. I have problems coming out of anesthesia as well. I come to in a total panic. My DH has to be there and start talking the instant I start to wake up. I come to fighting {trying to sit up and/or leave is what I'm guessing} and crying and almost hyperventilating. I think it's a control thing. You have none going under and I think it just panics me so that's how I wake up. I hate the idea of going under. I do and I'm not a baby about it but my anxiety sure shows up when I'm coming to.:biggrin: Congrats on now being banded.:biggrin: Take it easy and do what your doctor told you to do. I agree about the walking, even without the gas issues, it's good for your system to get moving as soon as possible. Best wishes!