Hollyhock

Wowie Zowie!

@@Tufflaw Perhaps pouch reset and if that doesn't work, a revision? there are therapists who specialize in binge eating disorder. I found an intensive outpatient program that included supportive eating (where you learn to recognize hunger and fullness cues), Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (a behavior modification support), movement therapy, nutrition and other insight based therapies. I am going back after surgery and as often after that as needed. I know I will need the support. It's very hard to change something your body knows and you've been doing since childhood.

I am right there with you. I was recently scheduled for the end of this month. Ever since I got my date, my diet has deteriorated. I think it's because I'm so worried about it. Tomorrow morning my husband is going grocery shopping and getting the food I should be eating to help me out. (Usually I do it.). I think what I'm going to do is to go back to the intensive outpatient counseling program I was a part of last year for people with eating disorders. The extra support will be very helpful until I am really sure I can do it on my own.

That's inspiring. My surgery date is coming up in a few weeks and the closer it gets, the more worried I am that I won't be able to do what I need to. I was actually eating well for quite awhile, but when I got my surgery date, I found it impossible to eat properly. Soon, it won't be an issue, because it will be all liquids.

It's really hard to say what somebody else's father feels or is going to do. Sometimes relatives, even fathers, have issues, and in families where alcoholism or addiction is present, family members try to tiptoe around it, thinking it is their own fault. It is important to be able to live our own lives, but we shouldn't forget how hard or painful it can be to separate yourself from someone you love, especially a parent. There are costs to following one's path, but in the end, the cost is worth it.

Wow that's really hard. How did he quit alcohol? Did he have support or go to treatment or need medication? You could tell him that obesity and alcoholism are both metabolic illnesses and that obesity changes the way your body responds to food. Surgery is a tool that helps eliminate excess hunger and craving. Did he rely on any tools or supports such as twelve steps, therapies, or medications? Some people manage to quit alcohol without ever addressing the behaviors that accompanied it. If that is what is going on, there isn't much you can do about it. In that case, it is his problem and his loss. You need to pursue your own life and dreams. Chances are, he will eventually become curious. His control issue is not your problem. You didn't cause it. He needs to resolve that on his own.

Wow! That's awful. Maybe you can find a support group where you can meet other people who are experiencing what you are and will be supportive to you. And you are very young. Why spend life with someone who does not support your decisions?

Look how baggy your jeans are! You are doing an awesome job.

I have not had surgery yet but I experienced an ulcer a few months ago that was caused by taking Advil for my knee. I had to do a two week course of intensive antibiotics plus Omeprazole. I did not enjoy that one bit! But I'm rid of the ulcer. Best of luck to you!

I felt most frustrated in August. I had completed the entire program and was beginning to lose weight. I went for my scheduling appointment but was told, "We're sorry but our surgeon quit so you'll have to start over somewhere else." It took months to fill out all the releases and get my test results sent to the new program. But then I also needed to do the various assessments again. This time I sailed through. I brought a month's worth of food diaries and my DBT book and lunchbag as a show and tell, and was cleared for surgery by both the nutritionist and behavioral specialist at my first appointment and my surgery is scheduled for January 30. But now I'm worried that maybe I bamboozled everyone into thinking I'm ready when I'm not and I'll be the one in a million who doesn't lose weight with the surgery. The surgeon has recommended the sleeve because he says there is no reason to take additional risk when it looks like I won't need the extra help of dumping syndrome. I'm scared that maybe I've just pulled a great con job and really I'm no better off than I was a year ago. But that would mean I've conned an awful lot of people at both programs. I wish I had faith in myself to be able to do this!

Hi everybody, It's been a long journey for me, but I finally have been assigned a surgery date for January 30th. My metabolic problems began in childhood, like so many of you. My mother was mentally ill and there was often little or no food around. I was responsible for cooking for my family as a child, and didn't know very much about nutrition. My brothers and sisters and I were often moved back and forth across the country between my parents in unpredictable combinations. I had very little interaction with my Dad till my teen-age years. Although, I was a normal weight, he strongly encouraged me to go on 10 day fasts, eating nothing but hot Water with lemon and molasses, or else hydrogen peroxide (I refused the latter). As a result, I got into the habit of starving myself for weeks or months at a time. This lasted until my 30s when I had children. Since I needed to cook for my family and couldn't afford to be shaky or emotionally unstable (as happens when I fast), I went in the opposite direction. I had lost the capacity to feel full, so it was hard to tell when to stop eating. I was constantly hungry during pregnancy and gained tons of weight, and I kept gaining in smaller amounts after the kids were born. About three years ago, I joined and Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) for eating disorders. It took about four months before I could recognize myself as having an eating disorder. At first, I insisted I had a weight problem, and the eating disorder part was nothing but an excuse. But I kept going anyway, three nights each week plus Saturdays, for eight months. I am extremely high functioning, even with the eating disorder. Ironically, I run substance abuse treatment programs, which can be a sixty to eighty hour a week job. I have been with the same guy since I was 17, and married for about 35 years. I've lived in the same house and had the same job for over 20 years. Except for the eating disorder, I'm very stable, which is part of the reason I couldn't recognize it. The IOP was a wonderful experience that has changed my life in many ways. Three nights a week, I participated in "supported eating," which is a kind of group eating therapy designed to teach you to recognize the signs of hunger and fullness. We had to rate our hunger before eating, midway, and after eating from 1-9 and at first, I had no idea what those numbers meant. I was rating myself a 3 (normal hunger) when I was really a 1 (famished) because the only cue I could feel was being dizzy and about to pass out, or else shaking and crying. The first time I brought in my food log, the counselor asked me if I was aware I hadn't eaten for 17 hours. I thought that since I was fat, I was supposed to wait until I absolutely couldn't function before eating. After 8 months of supported eating, group and individual therapy, dialectical behavioral therapy, nutrition counseling, and movement therapy, I now know better. (One night in particular was a real epiphany for me. We were eating at a Thai restaurant. I had missed snack and let myself get really hungry. When the food finally came, I was so focussed on eating it, that I couldn't participate in the conversation, and also it took much longer to feel full, so I overate to the point of discomfort. I suddenly realized that there was a different quality to what my dietician called "chemical" [as opposed to mechanical] hunger, and that that level of hunger actually caused me to be obsessed with food. And that I could avoid it by eating the right kinds of food every two to three hours in the right proportions.) I have continued with less intensive counseling (DBT and nutrition only) for another year. I decided about six months ago that I have always enjoyed movement, and that because my metabolism is so slowed down and I now have knee issues, I will not be able to continue to enjoy moving unless I lose about 100 pounds. So I began looking into WLS. I found a good surgeon at the recommendation of one of my dieticians, and was cleared by my insurance to pursue WLS. I finished the psych tests, the EGD, the sleep study and a month of CPAP, and logged my food for months, meeting with the dietician. I went in for my final consult expecting to be scheduled and was extremely surprised to learn that their surgeon had quit and the program was ending. I had even begun losing a small amount of weight!!! I would have to start all over again somewhere else. I found a new surgeon a few hours from my house. It took me a few months to get all my tests transferred. I sailed through the requirements of the new program largely because I had already completed them. I showed up at my appointments with the dietician and psychologist with Show 'N' Tell. I brought a months worth of food diaries (they were ecstatic), the cute little thermal lunch bag with my name on it that I use to carry my food for the day, and my DBT skills book and homework (even more ecstatic). I made it through what is normally a twelve month program in a month. My plan is to return to the IOP as soon as I am able to eat solid foods again (about two months after surgery), so that I have lots of support to explore a new experience of food and hunger in a group setting. I want to give myself the best possible chance of success. I hope after I lose enough weight, to go hiking with my husband in the Himalayas. (We used to hike, ski, bike, jog, and snowshoe together all the time, and our first date was backpacking.) As you can probably tell, I'm a bit of a perfectionist... Initially, the first bariatric program I went to offered only the sleeve. The new one offers me the choice between sleeve or bypass. I really don't have any medical condition that would indicate one over the other. The surgeon spent a good long time talking to me about it last week. He couldn't recommend one over the other. He said that if someone is diabetic or binge eats sweets or has GERD, he recommends bypass. If someone has chronic pain, or an increased risk of chronic pain, he recommends a sleeve. I don't fall into either group. I don't binge eat sweets, but I have problems with portion control and I eat too many sweets. He said that in my case, the sleeve might actually do a better job of cutting down on hunger, making it easier for me to turn down sweets, since it removes most of the ghrelin-producing cells; and that because I have already had an ulcer caused by H-pylori, the risk of complications with a bypass is greater than normal; and that he advises patients to avoid risks if there is no medical reason to take them. His reasoning makes sense to me. I am also hesitant to do something that disrupts my ability to absorb necessary nutrition if there is no medical reason to do so. I don't want to create a risk of osteoporosis if I don't need to. I try to avoid NSEDs because they caused an ulcer, but the day might come when I feel I need them. Finally, he says that while the average person my age, gender and weight loses 22 pounds more with bypass, even if I turn out to be average, 22 pounds will not inhibit me from enjoying most of the kinds of movement I once did. Maybe only downhill skiing. And even then, that is just the average and if I do what I am supposed to do, I may beat the average. And based on what he's seen so far, it is quite likely I will do what I need to do. My biggest fear is that I will still find it very difficult to resist sweets after surgery. I don't usually go out of my way to find them, but people always bring them into the office. The worst time is the afternoon when I am both tired and hungry. The CPAP has helped me feel less tired, but it doesn't cut down on stress or hunger. We've been working in DBT on some alternative strategies to afternoon stress, like getting up and walking for ten minutes, or leaving work early and going to the pool, or having a co-worker straighten my hair for 15 minutes. Anyway, as the day approaches, I'm becoming very nervous. I've tried out a bunch of Protein drinks and discovered I like fusion the best. I just received the bariatric plate and scale I ordered online. I retired my too big Vitamix to storage and pulled out the Ninja that makes individual servings. I bought eight ice cube trays and intend to use them to freeze chicken Soup infused with flavorless Protein powder. because the dietician said that ice cubes are the perfect after surgery serving size. I'm just really worried that I will do all of this and still won't be able to change the way that I eat, or I'll choose the wrong surgery, or it won't work. I guess what it boils down to is that I don't trust myself because of all those years I felt out of control of what I ate. The surgeon says the sleeve will correct the excess of hunger that leads me to eat too much food, or makes the wrong food appealing. What if that doesn't work?

This was such a good article that I downloaded it and saved it for next year. My surgery was scheduled for next month. I am worried about what happens when the honeymoon period is over. When I reach that hurdle, I intend to pull out and reread this article, and to follow your advice.

I'm with you, @@Monigirl76 and @@clevergirl . My surgery is scheduled for January 30 and I'm nervous and doing a lot of second guessing. All I can say is I really appreciate the expertise and compassion of my care team. Every one of them has been extraordinary. I jokingly asked the surgeon what his kill rate was, and it turns out nobody in his care has died yet! He has a great reputation. Maybe weigh the known risks of continuing on your current path with the risks of surgery? My surgeon showed me all sorts of pictures of the various complications that can occur, along with stats of how frequently the occur with each surgery both nationally and among his patients. I love stats and work with them a lot so that spoke to me.

Big kiss!

I'm so sorry you are experiencing this. It will be hard if your husband is not supporting your decision, as there may be a fair amount of undermining in the future. You need some long-term support somehow. Do you have a friend you can rely on? I have relied upon the help of professional counseling specifically for people trying to change eating habits. I've found that they were able to help me make small changes in such a way as to cause my husband and I to grow closer. Now I get the support I need from him as well. But really, it sounds like he has some sort of issues of his own, and when you are married and parenting young children, it is extremely difficult not to take on your spouse's issues as your own. My surgery is scheduled for the 30th.

You got smaller and your son got bigger! What a handsome pair! Congratulations on your hard work and success.

@@emleyrose I was very lucky to stumble upon an intensive outpatient treatment program for eating disorders about two years ago. It was a huge commitment. I had to be there three hours three evenings a week, and also part of Saturday, and I did it for eight months. It included individual and group counseling, dialectical behavioral therapy (mindfulness), art therapy, movement, nutrition counseling and something called supported eating. This was a kind of group eating therapy where we were taught to recognize hunger and fullness cues. Also, we did a lot of talking about what certain foods brought up for us emotionally. We all had to do many of the same things people in bariatric programs do prior to surgery, such as logging food, Water and movement, and how they make us feel. The dialectical behavioral therapy is really helpful because it consists of identifying triggers and learning strategies to either avoid them, or to do something other than the triggered behavior. I still go to that and nutrition once a week. My life is so much better as a result. I am scheduled for surgery in January, and I intend to return to the IOP because I really feel I can't learn new behaviors without lots of support, and because I will be experiencing a new relationship to food and my body. If you can find anything like this, I strongly recommend it. You put in too much work to not get the support you need! @@Kindle thank you for sharing this. It is very helpful to hear. I plan to return to the IOP for a few months when I start back on solid food and will keep an eye out for the depression that might kick in once the honeymoon is over. If I experience anything like that, it will be back to IOP for me! Thanks for the warning.

I don't know that there was a single defining moment for me either, but if there was it is a knee injury. I have always loved to dance: jazzercise, zumba and African Dance. Yoga and Pilates. I like to hike and snowshoe and ski but I can't do any of those things anymore. I would be an out of control canon ball going down a slope, and if I fell, I could never get up. And since, I can't do anything, I am turning into a big pillow of mush. Also, I HATE my CPAP. I would just like to be able to move around. It kills me that I can't get down and look under the bed, or that I need to look for an elevator for fear of the stairs. Getting up from the ground at a yoga class is embarrassing because I have to get on all fours and pull myself up. I am so excited at the thought of doing some of these things again. Maybe I can go backpacking with my husband, or even go on a light trek in the Himalayas. I've always wanted to see Ladakh and Nepal!

Congratulations and geez! I'm sorry you had so many problems. But I'm very glad the care was good and you are doing so well now! Merry Christmas!

I think you should go get your hair done as soon as you feel up to it, and get a few nice articles of clothing that make you feel comfortable going for a walk or doing some light yoga or moving around. You should treat yourself because you deserve it! And the hard work of eating properly and moving will require feeling good about yourself. I think it would be cool if someone near me would offer a "fat yoga" class. I bet they'd get a lot of customers! My daughter is studying to be a yoga instructor and I'm trying to encourage her to teach a class that caters to obese people and offers us comaraderie and moral support. She gives me private lessons tailored to my body and I love them. It's such a shame that so many exercise classes are competitive in nature. But the point is, go out and do some nice things for yourself because you deserve it!

I began looking into WLS almost a year ago after completing 8 months of intensive outpatient treatment for disordered eating. The IOP included supported eating, where we eat as a group and learn to recognize fullness and hunger, and to cope with trigger foods; nutrition classes; DBT therapy, movement, etc. After a year, I had not lost any weight despite considerable changes in behavior. The dietician at the IOP recommended a surgeon in a nearby town. I met her and was very impressed with her entire program and staff. I followed all their directions, began losing weight and went in for an appointment expecting to be scheduled for surgery. Unfortunately, I was informed that she had gotten into a tussle with hospital administration and quit. Staff informed me they were booting me from their program as I was very close to surgery and it would take them at least another year to start up again. I live in a very rural area. My insurance only covers one bariatric program, which is in another town a few hours away, but I don't mind because it has a good reputation and I like the doctor. It took several months for me to get an appointment. I first had to track down all the various sleep studies, EGDs, psych evals, labs plus my records from the IOP and the first bariatric clinic and get them over to the new doctor. The first doctor only performed the gastric sleeve, while the second does both sleeve and gastric bypass. I don't really know which surgery makes the most sense for me. The doctor told me I was the last new patient he is taking for several months. I still have to see the dietician, but he thinks she will clear me for surgery because I am already logging my food, eating three small meals and two to three Snacks, carrying my food with me for the day, and engaging in regular movement. I will probably be scheduled for December which works out very well for me as my husband and I both have time off of work. Also, my insurance coverage will be much better than if I wait till next year. I am 245 lbs (5' 5"). I don't have diabetes, high blood pressure or heart disease. I have a sweet tooth but do not binge on large quantities of sweets. He said that if I were diabetic, he would recommend roux en Y, and that if I were consistently binging on sweets he would also recommend it because dumping disorder can be a helpful tool to eliminate excess sweet consumption. Finally, he said that on average, a woman of my weight, height and age loses 74 lbs from the sleeve after 18 months compared to 91 with Roux en Y. I'd be very interested in hear from others about their experience. How did you choose your surgery and are you happy with it?

I am 56. I am director of a program that provides services to senior citizens and people suffering from substance use disorders, and have two grown kids, three dogs, two cats, a garden, a lot of houseplants, and a loving husband. I traveled a lot when I was young and my dream is still to go hiking in the Himalayas, but I'd rather do it without all the excess weight! I am hoping to take some time off with my husband for this in the not very distant future. I love my work. I live in a high need community and enjoy finding creative ways around the system to actually help people. I get a lot of pleasure from unravelling bureaucratic knots. I also love working with other programs to make collaboration easier. I am not planning to retire anytime soon, but when I do, I think I'd like to join the senior peace corps, and spend time overseas doing the same stuff I do here.

@@teedsg, @@mipookiebear, @@WhtWdUGive620 @@recreatingcate, @@Travelher (I used to call my daughter pookiebear when she was a baby) Thank you so much for your thoughtful responses. I have finally met all my requirements and been cleared by the Behavioral Health Specialist and Dietician, both of whom told me I was one of the best prepared individuals they had come across. I brought in "Show and Tell," a month's worth of food logs, the cute little monogrammed food bag I carry my stash in, and my DBT book and homework. My final consult with the surgeon, at which I will be scheduled, is next week. I think I am leaning toward bypass because I do have an issue with sweets, and also, it eliminates cravings. I'd rather not have cravings undermining my progress. But I'm really nervous now and doubting my decision. I guess this is normal.

I am 56 and am probably (finally) going to be scheduled for December. I have a lot of knee pain and can't do the things I enjoyed last year. I don't want to be 57 going on 97, so I am pursuing WLS.

That is pretty amazing! You are an inspiration.