Hiraeth

I've been having problems at work with this one lady; we will call her D. She was pretty cold to me when I first started working there. Months later, her and another coworker (we will call her E) bullied me pretty badly because I used to listen to my headphones while they loudly discussed how they felt about gay people. I am a Christian, but I DO NOT agree with anyone calling gay people faggots and damning them to Hell. Only God has the right to judge them. I actually love LGBT people. They are great and fun to be around. But my coworker D called them faggots and sissies. That really bothered me, so I decided the best thing for me to do was listen to my music with my headphones. I'm not a confrontational person, so I didn't say anything. D and E claim to be Christians and read their Bibles every morning. They talk about God all the time. But I was taught that we should love each other and not judge one another. Funny thing is, whenever there's a donation round each year, they NEVER give any money. I always give at least $10 to the African American teens who want to go to college, but live in bad situations and are having a hard time achieving an education. Whenever the donation rounds come, D always turns her nose up at the thought and says, "I need this money more than they do!" (Which is not true. She will spend $10 on a box of Krispy Kreme before she ever gave her money to someone who is struggling.) Anyway, about the headphones. E always used to listen to her headphones and sing as loudly as she could. So that made me think that it was ok to listen to mine, so I could drown out my obnoxious coworkers. So when they started bashing gays again, I would put my headphones on. One day, the phone kept ringing. And instead of D getting up and answering it, she let it ring. She told E that I was listening to my headphones and not paying attention. Well, the ringing was E's mom trying to call. (Family members are actually not supposed to call on the work phone.) But E got mad at me and said she was sick of everyone not answering her calls. So I had ENOUGH! I said, "I hope you're not mad at me. I didn't hear it!" And E had the nerve to say we aren't supposed to listen to our headphones. WAIT WHAT? So all this time, she ignored us with her music, we weren't allowed to do it? Oh no, I see. It's only bad when I do it! So I straight up told them why I listened to my music. And they said, "Well that's our opinion! We can talk about how we feel!" So I told them that it's unethical to talk about religion, sexuality, political views, etc. in the workplace. And they got SO MAD. I ran out crying that day. And for about 2 or 3 months, they talked about me so much. I even heard them whisper, "That white girl ain't gonna do nothing." It hurt me pretty badly. Finally, E moved out of our room and upstairs to take another job. I was so happy. But D was still here and I guess I felt that it was ok because now she won't have anyone to pick on me with. Well, she's still pretty cold to me. But I found out that she is unhappily married. She's also in her 50's and weighs over 300 pounds. I feel like maybe she's just unhappy with her life, so I started to feel bad for her. Well, a month later, I found out she likes dogs. I love dogs, so I felt like this was the perfect opportunity to bond with her, because I really hate when there's animosity in my space. So, I approached her and asked about her past with dogs and she was telling me how one of her dogs died and she vowed to never get another one because it hurt her too much. I felt so much sadness for her when she told me this. I felt that it was my duty to fill that void she had in her heart with another dog. I told her about getting another dog and she agreed to get one that needed help. So, I looked online for a dog in need. I found one; let's call him Z. I got this dog because he was free to a good home. The lady giving him away said she needed him gone ASAP or that she would place him into a shelter. So I told her I would take him. Well, D couldn't bring him home yet, because she was having her carpet replaced with hardwood. So I told her I would let him stay at my house for a while, until she got her house in order. I got Z his shots, got him groomed, and I kept him fed. When it was time to give him to D, I was already attached to him. My mom was even more attached. But I promised her I would find her a dog, so I gave him to her. She fell in love with him quickly. I was so happy because I felt that I brought happiness into her life. I was also hopeful that it would make her like me. Boy, was I wrong. When I decided to get this surgery, she would argue with me daily on why this surgery was a bad idea. She would tell me that I would fail because there's a reason I'm fat. She said, "You can lose weight on your own. There's no reason to get this surgery. You like to eat, so how do you know this surgery will work? I know of many people who failed with this surgery. I even know of people who have died." Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't it seem like she wants me to fail? I mean, she would raise her voice at me and talk bad about me on the phone to her family! I was shocked! After what I did for her, and she still treats me this way! Well, I voiced to her that I no longer wanted to discuss this with her. But now we have another coworker; let's call her K. Well, K is awesome. She's my "boo thang"; that's what I call her, lol. She's super cool and down-to-earth. She thinks this surgery is a great idea and is even thinking about getting it because of me. Well, anytime I talk to K about the surgery, D gets VERY quiet. I even saw her have a nasty look on her face when I was talking about it. Does anyone know why this woman hates me so much?

I am asking this for a friend. She is overweight (only 35 BMI) but she is having no luck with losing weight. She keeps yo-yo dieting and gaining back more than she lost. She is up to 219 pounds and has fatty liver cells in her blood. I'm worried about her. She had the Fundoplication surgery about 3 or more years ago and is wondering if there is any kind of WLS that is technically safe to have. I know it's been done before, but I'm wondering if anyone here has, or knows someone who has had Fundoplication BEFORE their WLS. Thank you.

Some people don't know what PCOS is, but it occurs a lot in overweight women. It is the number one reason for infertility. It is a set of symptoms due to elevated androgens (male hormones) in women. Symptoms: - Irregular periods - Heavy periods - Painful periods (usually excruciating pain that can occur in the lower abdomen, lower back, and down the legs) - Excess body hair (usually above the upper lip and chin) - Acne - Patches of thick, dark skin (usually on the back of the neck) - Infertility (hard time getting pregnant) My symptoms are: Irregular periods (sometimes I skip a month, and sometimes I can bleed for up to 2 weeks), heavy periods (the heaviness usually only lasts for 2-3 days, so it's not major unless I take a blood thinner), bloody clots in the toilet (gross), very painful cramping that reaches it's peak on the 2nd day (The pain is so bad that I've begged for death. I wish I were joking. I usually handle pain very well, so that will give you an idea of how horrible this pain is. I've broken my tailbone, and it was no where near this extent of PCOS pain.), excess body hair (blonde hair on my upper lip and chin, and once I even had dark hair on my upper back, but it's completely gone... Weird...), dark line on the back of my neck (I always thought it was my normal tan color that I was supposed to be [since I'm part Native American] and that I was just extremely pale). I was even pre-diabetic a few years ago. I lost about 30 pounds and it went away. I have since gained all the weight back, but my blood sugar is still perfect. My doctor told me that every year you let yourself remain overweight with PCOS, you have a 10% chance of becoming a diabetic. That 10% increases to an extra 10% each year. I do get acne sometimes, but my skin is very clear 90% of the time, thank God. I do not yet know if I'm infertile, since I have not tried to have a baby yet. I started my period on Wednesday after being 5 weeks late for my period. My ovaries were VERY unhappy about that. I could feel them vibrating (having spasms) and at times, it even felt as if I had rocks in my ovaries. It was an uncomfortable experience. But I finally had my period 4 days ago. Most people dread their period, but I was so glad to finally start. I think I probably had a cyst rupture because the bleeding that occurred was horrendous. I think the Xarelto my doctors gave me after the surgery helped me shed all the clots and even helped me pass a cyst. When I say the bleeding was horrendous, I mean it. There was blood all in my bed, all over my back, all over my legs, and all in my pants. There was blood all in my bathroom floor, all in my bathtub, and probably about half a pint in my toilet. I had to stop taking the Xarelto for 2 days because the bleeding was out of control. Thankfully, the cramping I experienced was manageable. I think the Xarelto helped in that aspect. Anyone else have crazy symptoms with PCOS?

I actually had to re-read everything you said just in case I missed something... You did not write anything that could even be taken slightly offensive. Everything you wrote was extremely helpful and polite. In my opinion, I think the people who thought your advice was offensive, are probably upset that they aren't at their goal, or didn't show up to class. I guess they envy your knowledge and outstanding ability to give advice. I also did not know having a runny nose was a sign of being full. Unfortunately, I dealt with the "stuck" feeling in my sternum when I got out of surgery. So much fun... *sarcasm* I appreciate the time you took to write everything. That was very kind of you.

I haven't read the responses to this post, so I apologize if my response is repetitive. MyFitnessPal is not designed for Bariatric patients. It is designed for people who are wanting to diet without having the surgery. My guess is, non-WLS individuals have to eat at least 1,300 - 2,000 calories each day, in order to keep their stomachs "sane". Since our stomachs are smaller, it's easier for us to function on a low calorie and high protein diet. I tried MyFitnessPal years ago (before my WLS), and it worked for a while. I can only imagine how discouraged I would have felt if I could only eat 500 - 800 calories each day. I'd have felt like I was starving! I think MFP is a great app. Just try to keep your calories at the number your doctor suggested, and monitor your protein/water intake.

I usually tell people (the ones I don't want knowing about the surgery) that I'm just watching what I eat and keeping myself busy. That way, you're not completely lying, and you may even motivate them to start watching what they eat.

So, their tone or facial expression came off as rude? Now, that can definitely change my perspective. If they spoke to you a certain way, or gave you a negative look, then I'd just pop it right back. To the overweight lady, I'd probably say, "It's ok to be jealous. I'm well aware of how much weight I need to lose. From the looks of it, you are the last person to be giving me advice." (Ok, maybe that is a bit mean. But I have a coworker who is over 400 pounds, and she makes comments that are obviously motivated by envy. ) To the person who said you're "wasting away": I'd say, "You can do better than that." I also work with a lady who is at least 350 pounds. She actually told me I would fail in my WLS. She even said "I know people who have died during and after the surgery!" Now, why would someone say that? Since I've lost 66 pounds, not once has she complimented me. What does that tell you? Yes. The overweight lady had a rude tone when she said it. And the other lady had a disgusted look on her face like I shouldn't look this way. But I am going to continue to stay on plan and be prepared the next time. Sent from my Nexus 6P using the BariatricPal App Also she wants you to fail. That was a very horrible thing to say to you. Sorry you had to go through that. Sent from my Nexus 6P using the BariatricPal App Exactly! She has said other mean things to me, regarding other situations. I'm glad we both can see haters for who they are.

So, their tone or facial expression came off as rude? Now, that can definitely change my perspective. If they spoke to you a certain way, or gave you a negative look, then I'd just pop it right back. To the overweight lady, I'd probably say, "It's ok to be jealous. I'm well aware of how much weight I need to lose. From the looks of it, you are the last person to be giving me advice." (Ok, maybe that is a bit mean. But I have a coworker who is over 400 pounds, and she makes comments that are obviously motivated by envy. ) To the person who said you're "wasting away": I'd say, "You can do better than that." I also work with a lady who is at least 350 pounds. She actually told me I would fail in my WLS. She even said "I know people who have died during and after the surgery!" Now, why would someone say that? Since I've lost 66 pounds, not once has she complimented me. What does that tell you? Yes. The overweight lady had a rude tone when she said it. And the other lady had a disgusted look on her face like I shouldn't look this way. But I am going to continue to stay on plan and be prepared the next time. Sent from my Nexus 6P using the BariatricPal App In that case, they have no business giving their advice. Rudeness, without being provoked, is usually out of insecurity and/or envy. That's their problem, and they have no business coming after you because of it. And yes, stay on your plan! Don't ever let someone discourage you. Keep us updated on future rudeness and your response. I'm looking forward to hearing what you say and what their reaction is.

So, their tone or facial expression came off as rude? Now, that can definitely change my perspective. If they spoke to you a certain way, or gave you a negative look, then I'd just pop it right back. To the overweight lady, I'd probably say, "It's ok to be jealous. I'm well aware of how much weight I need to lose. From the looks of it, you are the last person to be giving me advice." (Ok, maybe that is a bit mean. But I have a coworker who is over 400 pounds, and she makes comments that are obviously motivated by envy. ) To the person who said you're "wasting away": I'd say, "You can do better than that." I also work with a lady who is at least 350 pounds. She actually told me I would fail in my WLS. She even said "I know people who have died during and after the surgery!" Now, why would someone say that? Since I've lost 66 pounds, not once has she complimented me. What does that tell you?

I can see how those type of comments may seem harsh. But, in my opinion, I don't think they meant to be mean. I've had a lot of people say things like this. One lady, who works in another department of the building I work in, said "You better stop or you're going to disappear!" I believe she was just being sarcastic. Some people have a hard time giving straightforward compliments. My guess is, it's because they have a hard time receiving them. So since these people possibly have a hard time receiving compliments, it's probably in their nature to give you a compliment in a sarcastic manner. Also, another thought... Since we are losing so quickly, to them, it probably seems like we are "wasting away". I went from a size XXL to a Large in shirts, in just 4 months. Honestly, that is a huge change. I'm not saying you shouldn't feel insulted, because you are completely justified in how you feel, since what they said doesn't really sound like a normal compliment. Congratulations on your weight loss! Proud of you!

Im doing the cabbagge Soup this week one week of clear liquid 5 days lost 3 lbs and will see this friday what i lose Sent from my SM-G930P using the BariatricPal App Good job! I'm going to start this on Monday with a friend. She hasn't had the surgery, but she's very competitive and I think it would be fun, lol. She is thinking about having WLS, and I figured that this liquid diet would jump-start her decision when she loses a few pounds. Keep me updated!

That happened to me with popsicles and Powerade zero. I'm not sure what was happening, but it went away eventually.

2 things: Animals are provoked. They lack the cognitive faculties to weigh their decisions against the consequences of their actions. People's actions should never be justified by turning the tables around on their "provoker". We ARE all adults, and if someone picks a fight - it's on us to walk away. It's no one else's fault if you got mad and lost control. Second - It doesn't necessarily follow that the only adult thing to do is to message someone to discuss their grievances. Would I start a thread about it? No. But they're not mutually exclusive options, either. I'm not interested in having a private conversation with every person with whom I have disagreed with. If someone wants to bring it up on a thread dedicated to me, as long as they aren't name calling and being ridiculous I don't have an issue with it. Did you read the post I'm talking about? I did not lose control. If someone were to assume someone else is lying, most people would react exactly how I did. It's human nature to react in certain ways. You are entitled to your own opinion, but it is immature to passive-aggressively rant about someone on a thread which was motivated by their own crappy attitude. Why couldn't she just type it to me? Probably because she knows she's wrong, or maybe because she's worried that people will see how she's wrong, and lay it into her. If you go read my post, you'll see that it was her being rude, and I was responding appropriately to her rudeness. I never said the only adult thing to do is to message me about it. Other adult things to do would be to try to see where I'm coming from, ignore me, or respond civilly. But she chose to childishly post about me on her own thread, which she was probably hoping I would see. So, I have every right to defend myself. There are a few reasons why people feel the need to talk behind others backs. Some people are intimidated and can't express themselves in the moment, so they do it later, to others. (Very likely.) Some are insecure or afraid and feel better about themselves when they put someone else down. (Also very likely.) As for me, I'm very interested in having a private conversation with people I have a disagreement with, because I don't like holding on to negativity with certain people. However, I have no tolerance for people who act passive-aggressive. I actually do feel bad for her, though, because she's probably just really insecure and unhappy. But again, I have the right to defend myself.

In my opinion, this is a bad idea for someone who has been in maintenance for a while. Liquids won't do anything for you. To carb detox rapidly, I try to eat all Protein . . . specifically all meat or all meat/dairy. After the first few days, the carb cravings are gone and I can reintroduce healthy carbs (veggies, etc.) into my diet.Oh really? I was just going by what I've heard from 3-4 different people. It worked for them. Though, your method seems better, and easier.

@ Haha! He actually does get that a lot. When I was leaving his office, one of his new patients said something about it. He laughed and said he gets that weekly, lol. Awww, I'm sorry! Yeah, I remember LSU people being upset about that. >_<

" And the way things are around here, this is as close as I am getting to anything that is described by the term Playmate." LOL! Does this mean what I think it means?

LOL! Yes, I do! When I first heard about him, I was like, "Wait a minute... " Oh, and Roll Tide!

I heard of a few people doing the "Pouch Reset". You basically go on the post-op diet that you did right after surgery, but instead of 5 weeks of that diet, it's 5 days. You could probably lose about 3-4 pounds while doing it. (I'm not 100% sure about this, but I've heard some success stories with this plan.) Day 1: Clear liquids. Day 2: Full liquids. Day 3: Pureed foods. Day 4: Soft foods. Day 5: Regular food (low carb).

Yeah, because paying $500-$12,000 is "easy". Only drinking liquid for 1-4 weeks is "easy". Having 5-6 holes put into you is "easy". Dealing with CO2 gas pain is "easy". Avoiding eating and drinking at the same time is "easy". These people frustrate me. I saw something like this a few weeks ago from a news reporter who posted something on FB about a guy who lost a bunch of weight, and that he did it the "right" way. Last time I checked, as long as you're making changes to get healthier, it's considered the "right" way.

I'm not sure what I lost in the first whole month. But I can definitely tell you that I lost 21 pounds in the first 2 weeks. My guess is that most of it was water, lol.

Oh my. So sorry you're dealing with all of this. Please keep us updated! My symptoms were vomiting nightly and daily, discolored stool, mucus in stool and massive leg cramping at night from no potassium or magnesium in my system because of the malabsorption. It took the docs WAY too long to diagnose and thus I suffered for 8 months. To the OP: The discolored stool is a big indicator of gallbladder or pancreatic problems. It's due to malabsorption. Rapid weight loss can cause gallstones and gallbladder attacks so definitely keep an eye on this and let your surgeon know. Wow, I'm so sorry. That is horrible. Are you ok now? Gosh, it irks me to know that your doctors took so long to diagnose you, especially when your symptoms are obvious indicators of a possible gallbladder problem. The same thing happened to my mom; she kept having weird bowel movements and back pain, which went misdiagnosed for so many years. Her doctor kept saying it was IBS, but she just wasn't convinced. Several years later, the back pain got much worse. One night, her back started hurting so badly that she was in tears (my mom barely ever cries, so I knew something was really wrong). My sister called 911, and she was rushed to the ER. Sure enough, it was her gallbladder. Her surgeon said that she was one of the most difficult procedures he's ever had; definite top 5 most difficult. He said her gallbladder was completely rotten, and as if it had been rotting for 10-20 years. He said it's a miracle that her pancreas was not affected. After her gallbladder was removed, the back pain went away. For years she dealt with that back pain.

Also, notice the person "liking" my status. I think she's stalking me. How sad. Maybe she dreams about me at night. Sorry that I hurt your ego, dear. <3 I've noticed people tend to do that to be passive-aggressive, and because they have nothing logical to contribute.

Wow, glad you're ok now. Did you get pancreatitis? I noticed something wasn't right with me when my stool turned clay-colored with a slightly yellow tint; and sometimes, even yellowish mucus (TMI). Then, I would feel bloated all the time, especially after eating. Then, I would have indigestion. Eventually, I started having a strong cramping sensation in my sides when I would sit down and bend over to pick something up (kinda like a Charlie horse). By then, I knew I had to get something checked out. So, I scheduled a HIDA scan. When they gave me the cholecystokinin injection, I felt horribly nauseous (which is one of the indicators of a failing gallbladder). It took a while for my gallbladder to empty the injection. My results were that my gallbladder was functioning at only 12% (anything lower than 35% motility is diagnosed as gallbladder dysfunction). I had my gallbladder removed, and the cramping pain and indigestion went away. Though, now that my gallbladder is gone, it can be difficult to eat fatty foods. You can go from being constipated, to having diarrhea. I'm 5 months post-op, and I only have a bowel movement 1-2 times each week. It's awful. So now, I try to remind myself to drink Benefiber.

I completely agree. I also think I know the three people you're talking about. If I'm right, two of my friends have already mentioned them, as well. So, you're not the only one who notices them. They have made their reputation. My guess is, they have some major insecurity issues. EDIT: Ok so, I just read all the replies and I now realize this thread was motivated by my thread, LOL! I'm glad some people actually see that I was getting responses that were uncalled for. It's funny, because one person who got on there and called me a liar, actually made a rant thread about me being mean. Lol, really? You come to my thread and provoke me, and you expect me not to reply in the manner you deserve? Also, to the people mentioning tacos... My coworker is making something that smells like Mexican food, and I am now craving it. >_<;

Honestly, you have a greater chance of dying when you get behind the wheel of a car. Do not let your mom bring you down. I know she's worried, but this surgery will increase the quality of your health. I'm glad you're excited, because you should be! It may be a good idea to tell her that you no longer wish to discuss the surgery with her. If she refuses to let it go, you may want to put a hold on communicating with her. I hate to say that, because she is your mother. But it can be so draining to have someone so influential in your life to be that negative.