Little Debbie

I Know this is a VERY long post. I'm Sorry, but I am required to write a letter to my Insurance Co. detailing my request for Lap Band Surg.. Please some one give me feed back as I will not be sharing this with anyone I know.. I like to keep my stuff personal, and since you all don't really know me...? Please? Here goes.:shades_smile: I didn’t get this fat over night, it took years. A lot of years….And I would like for you to know how I have lived those years. Ashamed, embarrassed, resentful, bitter, angry, sorry. And always, always hopeful that tomorrow I would be able to turn it around. Ashamed that I have no long term control over my food addictions, so I avoid making eye contact with people because I’m afraid of what I’ll see in their eyes and I know there’s a limit to the judgmental looks I can endure. Embarrassed that I will see someone I went to school with or anyone that knew me when I was thin and pretty. Also embarrassed that I seemingly don’t care how I look, so I avoid going anywhere I might be seen by anyone I know. And when I do see one of those people it is always a hellish experience. Resentful that I haven’t EVER been successful at fighting this battle. I have occasionally lost 20 to 30 lbs., but I have NEVER lost more than that. And I have NEVER been able to keep off those handful of pounds for more than a few months at a time. AND I HAVE BEEN ON NEARLY EVERY DIET KNOWN TO WOMAN. Bitter when I think about all the time I wasted waiting until I lost weight to live my life. And what’s left of my life now? Where are all the wonderful memories of me doing all the things I’ve always wanted to do, but “not until I’ve lost my weight”. “Honey, we’ll go on a cruise, go to Hawaii, take up hiking, jet skiing, visit our friends, the people you work with, etc., etc., etc….when I loose my weight.” Angry when I am advised that “I might want to think about losing a few pounds”….. Oh. You think?... Do you think a person with all these emotions and feelings is fat because they are just lazy? Or because they just don’t care? Or because they haven’t tried? When you feel like your life has been wasted and YOU are the only one responsible, and being thin is the main goal you have ever really had in your whole adult life, and you are the only one that can give it to you, wouldn’t you think that if it were within your grasp you would give it to yourself? And lastly, sorry. I’m really only sorry about two things. Number one, I am sorry my family has had to suffer because of my weight issues. And secondly I am so, so sorry that I didn’t have Lap Band Surgery the first year it was approved in the U.S. I have suffered long enough with the above feelings. I was warned for years by my doctor about the health threats and am now seeing them come to pass. High Blood Pressure, High Cholesterol, Fatty Liver Disease, borderline Diabetes, aches and pains too numerous to mention, all weight related. All weight related. My arms can hardly lift me up to turn over in bed at night. I am not just losing the weight loss battle, I am losing the battle for my life. I know I am going to die like this if I don’t have this surgery. Nothing else has worked. I have prayed about it and feel at peace about having the surgery. I agree with my doctor; he said that it could change my life- and he also said I could still have a long life ahead of me. I want that to be a productive, healthy life.

Thanks everyone for your support! as for the poignant part Suzanne, you know what it's like when you are "in the moment" and just have to get it out there. It was better than the year of therapy I had! While I was typing this, my PCP called, and my referral to the Lap Band Dr. has been approved by my Ins.! Here we go! Step 1 is now complete & I'm ready to jump ahead! See you all in band land!!!

Jack & John Thank you guys for giving me your support. We do all have so much in common, don't we? That's why I come here for my support; we have all experienced many of the same dissapointments related to our weight problems. I will be keeping my eye out for you guys. God Bless us all on our journeys.

kat817: Thank you for explaining the process in understandable terms; I, like you need to be told WHY i need to do certain things so I can feel in control and not controlled. I'm gonna print out your explanations cause I know my 52 year old brain will forget if I don't. Thanks!

Hi all, I'm new, haven't been banded jet, but I've been wondering when I read about "sliming" if anyone has tried drinking water with a little lemon in it- if that's allowed? You know it's supposed to help cut phlem and singers sometimes drink it to clear their throat of phlem before they sing...just a thought.:confused2:

Hi everyone, I am a Christian also, and just stumbled across this "thread" whatever that is. I am very new to all this, and not very discussion board savvy. I am just beginning to get things going with my banding procedure, and really need the support. I feel more comforable knowing there are brothers and sisters out there to support me. Please somebody, tell me how I can find you all the next time I log on?!:thumbdown: Thanks and Blessings Debbie