ShelterDog64

Many people have been coddled all the way through life...a B- was fine, because the teacher just wasn't fair, neither is their boss. And you know, the police target red cars. This brings this conversation full circle (and I could kiss you for it!!)...taking responsibility for their actions is something many people have a terrible time doing. I see it here EVERY day, in posts about "I couldn't stop myself" and "I can't help it, I'm only human". Be accountable for your own actions, take ownership of your behavior...we're all better people when we do.

I have to admit it was a provocation. Why did I do it? It irks me quite a bit that whenever someone (including me) is bothered by the tone or choice of words on this board they get a "it's Rants & Raves!!" - Hey, you yourself told me that I lost sight of where we are right now! There is name calling like b***h, idiot etc. and that doesn't cause a shitstorm - but when someone says the F-word, OMG!!!!!!1 it's so evil!!!!!1 - WTH? So tell me: where is that line that is not supposed to be crossed?? At the moment it seems to be dependent on the user where that line is. Double standards at their best. The best would be to stay out of anything controversial - however, things get nasty pretty quick on these boards, depending on who's involved. Sadly, this is one of the most active WLS boards on the web, otherwise I wouldn't bother with this kind of discussion - I simply would stay away. Again, I only commented about you calling for civility in the same post that you told people to "fuck off". It was the conflict between those two things that I was speaking to, not the word. And I was trying to be sort of funny about it but didn't convey that well, thus my comment about tone. I don't care about the words, honestly, as long as it's not used to call names or attack a particular person, for example 'all of the people out there who don't like bacon can fuck off' is different than 'ShelterDog, you can fuck off'. I can swear more creatively and better than most Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen AND Marines, but I seldom direct it to a particular person. For ME, that's where the 'line' is. At the end of the day, we can use those words in any way we choose, but there's one person here who truly defines where the 'line' is for the site and that's @AlexBrecher .

I eat carbs most days...not mashed potatoes, but I'll have some kind of grain or vegetable. And early on, I ate oatmeal, mashed potatoes, cream of wheat and an occasional half piece of toast with Peanut Butter, my surgeon wanted me to have some carbs then when I couldn't get many calories in with protein. As I advanced my diet and was able to eat a little more, I cut back on the simple carbs and rely on complex carbs now.

I had to have shoulder reconstruction about 9 weeks ago, so I haven't been able to do squats, leg presses, etc....I hope when I get to the gym, I can work on building the muscle back up

Yes!! ^^^^ THIS ^^^^ is the attitude that will make you a success at this!

Not really. I had an easy 3 day pre-op diet. I had a headache from no caffeine for one day but it passed. I am now allowed one cup of coffee with caffeine per day but haven't added it back. Your taste buds change. Every taste and smell is amplified. I can't stand sweet (used to love it) so finding Protein shakes I can handle has been hard. So you changed most of your behavior after the surgery because of how it changed you? Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App For me, yes. I would say I always tried to eat healthy before. I just ate too much and too many carbs. I have never liked soda often, but I would clean my plate at dinner and go back for more. We rarely had fast food but we sure did eat out every now and then, and those portions are huge. If I ate a bowl of somewhat healthy Cereal I ate twice the serving size. I wouldn't just eat an apple, I would eat an apple with way too much cheese. I ate nuts but the handful, good for you but I had way too much. I could easily eat a whole avocado, stuff like that. This is SO me before surgery. I love to cook and I love to eat what I cook! I have always cooked healthy, high quality food for my family, I raised 2 boys and didn't want them to eat much food from boxes and cans. We've only used organic dairy and meat for years and I barely shopped the aisles of the grocery, mostly the edges. But I can make a carrot cake that would make you cry, and I loved to bake bread and make homemade Pasta and on and on...and I ate like a teenaged boy right along with them My portions were ridiculous, looking back! Well, and all those carbs

Nailed it! Needs to be scribbly-er and maybe a broken lead?

I feel kind of ridiculous about this one thing that I'm struggling with, but you asked and I'm determined to let all this stuff out and deal with it instead of keeping it all inside like I used to. I've always had a big butt...when I was younger and thin, it was actually a kind of amazing butt and I didn't hate it back then. I wore bikinis, ran on the beach, walked around naked in front of my boyfriend/husband, and I didn't know how good I had it. Of course, as I gained weight over the years with pregnancies and yo-yo dieting, I started hating my butt because it was HUGE and I wished it was GONE all the time. Fast forward to now, I've lost 70 lbs and for the first time ever, my butt is almost gone. I thought I would LOVE it, but I don't. It's flatter than it's ever been and saggy and it makes me feel old. As I'm trying on smaller clothing, I know one reason it fits better is because I don't have that big old donkey butt back there, but I kind of miss it. Ridiculous, right? I wouldn't trade my health for the butt, of course, but if I could change ONE thing about how my weight-loss has gone, it would be to have a smaller, but not THIS small, butt.

Thanks! I hope we can help you figure out how to get a head start on your surgery

It's not the easiest thing I've ever done, but it's not the hardest either. It sure sounds like you could use a therapist to help with the trauma from the nursing home...I can't imagine what that must have been like. Good luck to you

I just hate seeing that there are people who manage to lose weight eating junk. One thing you really have to learn when you have WLS is how to fuel and nourish your body. We can't rely on the volume of food to make up for dietary problems any longer, because our volume is so low. You have to learn where you can get the most bang for your buck protein-wise, and your focus has to be on that for the first few months at least. You have to avoid simple carbs, like sugar, flour, etc. I eat carbs every day but I get them from vegetables, fruits or rice/grains like brown rice, farro and quinoa. No white rice, mashed potatoes, bread...you can't spare the space for such nutrient-poor food. It's not second nature right away, but after a few months, I don't have to think as hard when I look at a restaurant menu or when I'm shopping for food.

It can be pretty overwhelming...what type of diet does your patient information suggest? Are you encouraged to eat high Protein, low carb, low fat? All of those? I didn't have an official pre-op diet that I had to follow, but I cleaned up my eating in the month or two before surgery. I cut out Desserts entirely and eliminated the few sodas I drank. I stopped eating any chips, pretzels, crackers, etc. I stopped eating bagels, muffins and most bread. I tried to focus on protein, whole grain carbs and fresh vegetables and fruits. I ate dairy, but quit buying low/no fat versions at the suggestion of one of my dietitians. It wasn't as hard as I expected and it made the transition to post-op life much easier.

1. Get some unflavored Protein powder...you will need it, often. 2. Buy a box of sugar-free popsicles and have them ready for when you come home. I prefer the tropical flavors 3. DO NOT buy a 3lb canister of ANY protein powder; no matter how good that 'chocolate splendor' is pre-op, it's very likely to be equally disgusting to you post-op. 4. Ditto Vitamins...I use Patches now, can't stomach what I happily chewed up and swallowed pre-op. 5. broth is like nectar from the gods when you can't stomach one more icky-sweet swallow of Protein Drink. And you can add the unflavored protein from (1.) to it. 6. Refried Beans...just like broth when you're on liquids, refried beans are heaven when you're on purees. Also add the protein from (1.) to them. And cheese on top! And sour cream! And salsa. I like beans! 7. The most important thing is that you will likely feel pretty rotten the first week, but it gets better every. single. week. after that, I promise. And when it's hard, you've got a ton of support here at BP, 24/7. When the US is sleeping, Australia is up and when they go to bed, Europe is on. Good luck to you and looking forward to hearing how your surgery goes

@@Hammer_Down YES!!! I'll give this some thought while I make dinner...

I sense a challenge. In one utterly banal reply, I shall employ all 5 9; the above listed fallacies! "OMG, how stupid can you be? (Ad hominem) EVERYONE knows pork chops are only okay 6 days post op (ad populum). You can just eat whatever you want (straw man), ask any vet here and they'll tell you the same (appeal to authors). You must have a death wish!" (False dichotomy) I'm ruined, utterly and completely

You are more like a "data doberman". (from your present avatar picture -in case someone reads this at a later date if you change it) Then I'm actually a 'data miniature pinscher who thinks he's a doberman'

You're definitely normal! There are a LOT of different emotions heading into a surgery like this, and you've got the 'baggage' of a malfunctioning band, too. I'm very thankful that I had my VSG in the summer...heading into the holidays is another hurdle, but just think of how GOOD you'll be at all of this by January!

I'm a data hound, too, thanks for posting this Alex

Don't start this carp again, Babs!!! Srsly.

Can we have contests? And prizes? I love contests and prizes...there could be one for identifying the most examples of fallacious arguments in a single post! Seriously, thanks for taking the time. And I think the first negative reply will use the oft-employed ad populum argument. (Just in case you decide to do a contest, you know...just if.)

THIS!!! thisthisthisthisthis And don't give me any CARP about it, @@higher !!!

THIS!!! thisthisthisthisthis

@@Ninni **Wow, Shelterdog64 seems to me that you want to control everyones journey for them which is clearly your issue. ** Nope, that's not what I want. You have a nice day, too

@@bayougirlmrsc **But the most important thing to remember is that everyday some new person comes to this site looking for help and guidance... asking question and hoping that someone has had a similar issues that can shine some light for them.... I think we should all remember where we were when we all started this journey... all the questions we asked... We, as the Vets of this forum need to give help when we can... and if our voice isn't going to help, then move on to the next post and try and help them....** And I try REALLY hard to always do that. I came here to rant on a day that I was super, super frustrated, had been to support group and then read a bunch of 'I can't help myself, I'm so weak' type posts and I just needed to vent. This has, as usual, morphed into a criticism of posting styles and particular people and it's not at all what I intended. I have no personal beef with anyone here and it's sad to see that a few of you decided to use what I wrote to set up yet another attack on a particular person, and to also use slight squabbles as fuel for an even larger fire. So unnecessary.

Yes, I knew that would cause some disagreement and I'm ok with that but I thought "when in Rome do like the Romans do". Hey, it's "rants and raves", so it's ok - right? But I'm with you - it's not ok to use that kind of language and I apologize for it. It's all good...I sometimes feeling like saying the same, I just thought it was kind of a funny contrast from the rest of your post. I wish there was a better way to convey tone than the ridiculous emoji selection here!