Cassie111

Hi Ginny, I am SO sorry for the long delay in my response.....again! I haven't been on my FB or aol account for about 2 weeks, which makes for a lot on not replying to people I really want to talk to AND over 400 pieces. Partly because of the battle I've had with depression and anxiety for over 30 years. Meds are NOT a cure, just keeps your head above water...usually. Bruce hit me super hard, sounds a lot like the loss of your "baby" I know the feeling all to well. I think a big part of the problem (other than my connection with him) was that every time when I've had to make this horrific decision, I've always had other pets waiting for me at home. At least they were a bit of a moments of distraction. I could hold them close when I had a cry fest. No this time. And even though my best friend swears a day will come when I get another dog, I've told her NOT, NO WAY, Ever!!!! I'm told old and have to many problems and issues to ever go through that devastation again. I've had so very many "4 legged "loves of my life", that I will end with the blessings from God to have had them for as long as I did. So odd how you also met your hubby online....NEVER expected that in a million years. And I had to go through a dozen or so "frogs" before I find my prince. 15 years since we met and 13 married. I consider 3 things that have kept me alive, when I should have been dead ages ago. !) My 32 year old son Danny, who is THE love of my life. I doubt many of been as blessed as I have been having the best son anyone could ever even hope for. We talk almost every day, that's how close we are. Without him, there would be no will to live. 2) THE miracle sent to Tom and I when God had us meet online. This man has to be the most loving, caring, compassionate and hard working man I've ever known. He literally saved me from myself, as I am my own worst enemy. He treats me like a queen and forgives my moods and occassional outbursts and never holds it against me. My "bad" husband referred to my 1st husband Mike, who for 2 people at the beginning and lasted about the first 7 seven years and the last 11 were really terribly rough. He moved into the guest room and we became roommates. Devastating because I finally got to him to admit, against his better judgement, to finally telling the truth and confess that he had simply fallen out of love with me, partly due to my inability to lose weight. I met him at about 155 lbs., and after Danny was born my highest was 210 of which I only took off about 25. We both agreed to this roommate set up and not to divorce because we KNEW what effect it would have had on Danny. Only child and totally in love with both of us. He would not have adjusted to either of us being a "part time parent. Michael was the FATHER of the CENTURY and that is why I don't doubt our decision for even a second. We were both happy to sacrifice any happiness we might find in or for the good and well being of our Danny. Our time was to come later on. Never made a better choice. Though he "did that to me", his father abilities more than made up for it. He may have changed as many diapers as I did. And helped me during those 1st rough,no sleeping months by staying up with his boy and letting me get some sleep. And he was a wonderful provider. He made good money as a Miami Police Officer, rising to the rank of Major, which in those days, those jobs usually went to minorities. But he kept driving forward and fought and clawed his way very close to nearly the top. I was , and still am very proud of the things he could do despite so many obstacles along the way. My Tommy has been perfect from day one (of course and only naturally) he has one or 2 traits that drive me INSANE! But they in no way out number the good. I'm also go glad to have met a decent Christian man to connect with me on that level. We try to let God do everything for us....You know, "Let go and let God". We are desperately looking for a new apartment and I so believe from the bottom of my heart that he will provide us with the perfect place to go. OOPS, I forgot #3) My 12 year old goddaughter Katie. First held her the day she was born, and I knew at that very instant. we would be so connected to each other as long as I am allowed to be on this earth. We did the movies again yesterday and I got to keep her from Friday through tomorrow because of Spring Break, I was SO totally thrilled to have her with me that long. Talk about love? She is constantly showing me her deep love for me every time we're together. She touches my heart to the core. She is my sunshine every single day. Enough of me.....I want you to tell me how your journey has gone since January. Everyday now, I'm eating something I shouldn't and I am truly, truly frightened of the potential of what could happen if I don't change my ways and attitude. Perk up and get out of this hole I seem to have crawled into. If I don't start my mall walking again and SOON, I think I'm doomed. I've gone from 149 to 152.5 which for some people, its not that terrible. But after 3-4 comes back, then I'm sure you know what USUALLY happens after that. I actually don't think I could recover if I went back to 287 or even anything over 160. My size 10's won't fit if I get to 160. I pray every night for the Lord to take this "eating" obsession away from me, but so far, to no avail. Terrified is a much better word to use. Please say a prayer for me , as I will do the same for you for whatever plagues you currently. BTW , you mentioned at the top of your last post that we should become "friends" on here. . Not sure how to go about that. But if you do, just "friend" me (if that's' the way that goes and will certainly accept!! Hope your week has gone well so far. Take care, Cassie PS.......SO SO happy about your doggie job. You must love them the way I do.... and that's A LOT!!! God bless you for your gifts that I know you show them by yourlove for them.

Hello to my friends in their 50's! I hit my goal weight today (160 down from 287, in 14 months) and I have so many thoughts running through my head that I would love to be able to share, if you'll indulge me. Let me start by saying, I AM NOT COMPLAINING!!!!! I couldn't be happier about this much weight loss, which I never dreamed would happen. Wearing clothes that I never expected to wear again in my life. The road has not always been easy, as you well know. But I am not sorry I started this journey. HOWEVER........ I must speak about the person I see in the mirror everyday. Before surgery, everyone knows all about the extra fat that will remain unless of course you have a cosmetic procedure done. But I was not remotely prepared for what I would look like 14 months after. No, I did not dream of being able to look like I am in my 20's anymore. I'm smarter than that. But when I look in the mirror now, I also didn't expect to see what I see. Of course, my stomach is the worst, but my thighs and arms are very wrinkled and saggy also. I think the arms bother me the most cause I can't/won't wear any of the cute little sleeveless shirts that I COULD fit into now because I would be too embarrassed. If I stood next to a person of the same build, same height, same clothing who was just a "normal" person of 160 lbs, you would never be able to say that I also weighed the same. Yes, there is an incredible difference between my before and after pictures, but I get so frustrated that I have worked so hard, been through so much but still don't look like that other person standing next to me. I get feelings of it being so unfair. I know some one out there has read this to this point and said to themselves, "Why doesn't she shut up and just be happy to have lost that much"? I did say at the beginning, that this is not complaining in the literal term. I just wonder if there are others out there who feel like I do. I have spent so much money on wrinkle "erasers", tightening creams etc. and they are all a joke. (though if you have found a "miracle" one, please pass it along!) Insurance companies should be willing to help people complete their process by just assisting in the costs (not paying 100%) of cosmetic surgery if a person chooses that option. But, we well know insurance companies couldn't care less about our happiness or state of mind. You want the whole process to have a beginning and an end. When I see myself, I don't feel "finished". Like a painting only half complete. Just a few more brush strokes here and there and I could be a work of art (OK, that may be overstating). I try to laugh and say the very deep wrinkles that I now have on my face are lines of wisdom. Again, I AM wise enough to know how untrue that is. I'm hoping these "down" feelings will pass in time. But now, they are with me almost every hour of everyday. It's odd to be joyful and depressed at the same time. I thank from the bottom of my heart anyone who took the time to read through this. I do have a helpful, loving husband who tries to understand, but deep down I know he thinks I not only worry about this too much, but also that I am fine just the way I am. God bless him, he's biased. If anyone out there would like to comment or share a similar situation, please don't hesitate to do so. Thanks again. Grateful but sad....... Cassie

WOW! Your story sounds a lot like my husband's, as far as moving around many times! He's originally from Long Island, and has also lived in West Virginia, (Florida as a child), back to Long Island, then Washington state, then New Hampshire, then finally here in South Florida. And guess what??? We are one of the few success stories of meeting online with a happy ending! We met in 2001, did the long distance thing between NH and FL for quite awhile, then he moved here and we married in 2003. 13 years, not bad at all. (my 1st marriage lasted 18 years, 11 of them practically living as roommates. BEST FATHER ever, not the best husband) If you are thinking of Florida as an option, the furthest south you should consider is a town called Port Saint Lucie, we lived there for about 7 years and LOVED it. It's on the east coast (hate the west coast) a little less than 2 hours south of Orlando. Try to avoid central Florida .....if it's possible, even more hot than here. North of Orlando would be the best place. A lot of nice places in the Panhandle. Ever been to Disney? I am a Disney FREAK and have been more times than I can count (literally). Love and collect all things Disney. I know you don't have a movie buddy but do yourself a favor and go see the new version of MY favorite Disney movie, Beauty and the Beast. I thought I would hate it because I was loyal to the original, but it was wonderful!!! I would see it again for sure. BTW, you've lost 97 lbs. since January???? AMAZING to say the very least!!! My weight loss has been strange. In the 1st 7 months, I lost the first 100 lbs. I thought THAT was amazing! In the ensuing 14 months, is the amount of time it's taken me to lose the additional 36!!! I've heard of slowing down, but this has really been a loooong slooow journey for me. Mind you, however it came off, I'm generally happy overall. I just wish I could have lost another 10 by now. I know my original goal was 160 and I'm now 150, but you find out when you get to a certain number, you sometimes feel you'd like a lower number. 145 is my final goal number, so I need SIX more and it just won't come! Now truth be told, I rarely do my walks anymore, which could most likey be a game changer. But my "oomph" to do much of anything is zero at the moment. It's been a very rough 2017 so far, a lot of stress and pressures. And then 1 week ago today, I had to put down my beloved 4-legged child "Bruce" that we've had for almost 11 years. You have to be a true animal lover to understand, but it was 1 of the worst days of my life. Having pets, mostly dogs, all my life, I have had to do that before. But Bruce was my true buddy, always near me and it just happened at a really bad time. But he is now running free in heaven, which is great because with his very bad hips and legs, walking had turned difficult, and up and down all night TRYING to get a comfortable position to lie in. It was time, but he'll be in my heart forever, as all those who came before him are. I've rambled enough, I have many things to get done today and PRAY that I can force myself to go walk the mall. (not surprisingly, I do NOT walk outside, only in the air conditioned mall, lol) Have a blessed weekend, and hope to chat again soon. Take care, Cassie PS.....2 things, I don't think I know your name, lol and what part of NY do you live in? If it's Long Island, I guarantee my husband has lived there at one time or another!!!!

OMG! I can not believe what you went through in January! Horrible is an understatement. And the trying to keep food down now? I am so very sorry for you about this. And yes, of course your son was more than worth it, but you have paid a huge price. And I think it's so very strange that the weight isn't just falling off of you now, because you don't keep everything down. I hope your appt. is EARLY April because you must get yourself taken care of!! And thanks for the DS answer. I have heard of it, but know nothing about it. I will educate myself and look it up! I truly hope that you will keep in touch, as I am very worried for you. (But I don't even know your name, lol) which if you'd prefer not to offer it up, that's fine. If you would like to write to me off of the site, you are more than welcomed. tomswifeforever@aol.com PLEASE take care of yourself and keep in touch! Sincerely, Cassie

Hey, nope.....native Floridian! People usually say "you must be used to it by now". But my thinking is just the opposite. It's BECAUSE I've been enduring for 57 years that only makes me hate it more every year. Especially since we have NO fall, and very little winter. I don't own more than 1 light sweater and a very thin fancy long jacket in case I'm going out. I really think not having those 2 seasons are the main cause of my hating it here so much. If I had something to look forward to during the terrible summer months,(I don't even have to wait for summer, our daytime temps are in the mid 80's) If I had something to look forward to, I know I would be happier. And there is no option for me to move further north. I would love to live in the Carolina's. (hubby would like to go back where he lived many years, New Hampshire) but my son Danny, my only child, lives near-by and I'm REALLY hoping that he and his wife will want to get pregnant one of these days! He and I are extremely close. THEN, there's my 12 year old goddaughter Katie. I have helped to raise her since birth and she is my "buddy" for movies and shopping. I couldn't love her more if she were a blood relative. And so it goes...... Sorry about not loving where you live either. It can be very depressing. Where have you lived before? Just curious. Thanks for writing and reading my reply. Take care, Cassie

Hi there "makemyownluck". First of all, I am so sorry to hear of your situation. Deciding on the surgery in the 1st place is such a huge choice to make, and it doesn't seem fair to now have this terrible swallowing issue. I agree with your opinion about Gastric Bypass....I felt the same way. I believe there are only a certain number of people who have the strength and will to have that procedure, and I am NOT one of those people. You risk dumping syndrome if you should do the slightest thing wrong and I was NOT going to go through that!!! I knew there would be mistakes along the way so GS was the choice for me. My 57 year old brain is not as sharp as it used to be, so I am not able to figure out what your abbreviation DS means. I know once I hear it, I'll say "duuuuh", lol. Lastly, I would really try to NEVER make a negative comment about someone's doctor, because you may really like and trust him/her. But hearing your belief that your esophagus has been working as your pouch, I would get a 2nd opinion and see if an error was made during surgery. That just doesn't sound right to me. I would get the esophagus issue taken care of 1st thing. I think you are running the risk of something really bad happening. I think you are very brave considering another procedure and you seem to have a good mind set on this whole thing. Please let this "old lady" know what DS is so I c an better understand your situation. Take care of yourself and I hope to hear back from you. Cassie

Hi, and I thank you so much for what you said above. I am sorry for the delay in my reply (I'm) not usually like that, but I have been so depressed the last few weeks that I feel up to my nose in sand and mud that I can't escape from. It's torture. I am battling awful urges to eat and some days I lose the battle. I am mortally terrified of the potential outcome and all I do is take pills to sleep as much as I can to escape. But then when I am awake, I feel so awful physically from what I took to sleep. No one ever has to tell me about hell, I'm there (not to mention the Florida heat).. I used to feel like a fighter (a wrinkly old lady one) and a success story. Now, there's just the wrinkly part left. I feel dead inside. I am sorry for this intrusion on your time. If you are a praying woman, please remember me to God, and may he have mercy on my soul. I wish you only the best. Cassie

Hello Ken, I am so sorry that I did not see your last 2 posts until today. I have been in a "terrible" place the last couple of weeks battling depression and severe attacks of NEEDING to eat. I am at my wits end. I feel like I'm on the edge of a cliff and if one more thing snaps, I'll fall. (like gaining weight back). But I ramble.......The name I have been trying to put in is Dr. Emmanuele LoMenzo from Weston, FL. and no, I did not choose him from the drop down box. I will make 1 last attempt today if I can and let you know the outcome. I can't thank you enough for your sticking by me through this "mess". Sincerely, Cassie

Hi, I have been trying to update my surgery profile for 2 days. I have filled out some new information about my surgeon, and every time I have hit "submit", I am taken to a page that says something like "this page does not exist". I would really like to update my page, so I'm hoping you can help. Many thanks, Cassie

Yes Ken, I am. I get the same URL page that I gave you before. HELP!!!! I would love to recommend my Doctor and give him the recognition he deserves! Thanks for keeping up with me on this! Cassie

Hello Newbie! If I'm counting right, you should have had your surgery yesterday. Hope you're starting to feel a bit better. Not tons of fun the 1st few days, but a lot better than a C-Section!!! I don't know you, and you don't know me but maybe we can become friends. I am going to be totally straight with you on the skin issue. I had my sleeve done in June of 2015 when I was 55 yrs old. I have lost 135 lbs. and that's hard not to be thrilled with. But I'm afraid (and SO many people disagree with me on this) that the skin problems are very depressing. I had heard all about the left over skin, but no one let me know how much or how unsightly it would be. Now, a lot depends on how much you have to lose and how long you were "obese" to begin with. I don't know how I could lose so much weight and still have such big thighs!!!!! BUT, 99% of the problem areas are easily hidden. But I live in South Florida and this is already a great time for sleeveless shirts, which I was very much looking forward to. NOT GOING TO HAPPEN! If you can one of these days that you're feeling up to it, look up "crepey" skin. That's whats under my upper arms. Sort of looks like skin you might see in someone in their 80's. YES, and this is the part where 99% of the people I have talked to on this issue, basically tell me to quit my "bitchin" and just be glad I have lost the amount I have. No one seems to understand. I AM VERY grateful to God, my wonderful husband and the great friends I have who have cheered me on and prayed for me. BUT why should I not be allowed to feel upset about this wrinkle issue? People also have said, "Hey, you're 57 now, have a husband that does NOT care about the arms, so why do you care so much?" Part of it is BECAUSE I'm 57, not 87. I applaud the people who I see daily with this problem, wearing their no sleeve shirts and proud of it!!! I am happy for them, truly. But to me, it's not about vanity, it's about pride and self respect. Haven't heard much about the procedure for fixing the upper arm area, but it is out of the question for me, as none of it is covered by insurance. So, 3/4 sleeve shirts fill my closet, lol !!!! Now, people will say that I shouldn't have started your "journey" with negativity. I call it the cold, hard, facts and answering the question you initially asked. Who knows? You might not even have any problem with that, and I pray that you won't! My upper arms were really huge, so I guess I should have prepared myself for it. But no one actually told me about the "crepey" look. Not that it would have stopped me from the surgery, but at least I wouldn't have been SOOOO shocked. Listen, bottom line? You have made a wonderful, positive decision in your life and will be thrilled when you see your success. IF you ever want or need the extra surgery, I hope you will be able to have it done. It will only improve the new self esteem you will have. I hope you will stay in touch with me about ANYTHING at all. I may not have every answer, but you will be able to know there is someone who cares and will always listen. Take it really easy and LISTEN to your body when it speaks to you about doing something or NOT doing something. It's usually right!! If you want to sleep.....SLEEP. Your energy will return in due time. Take care and let me know how you're feeling. Sincerely, Cassie If you prefer a private email, I'm at tomswifeforever@aol.com

I would say I have seen it before, but by no means on a regular basis. I also tried it on the Google browser and same thing, though I doubt it's the same URL. I'll send that later if you'd like. Thanks for all your help Ken. I hope to get this resolved! Cassie

Have NO idea if I did this right, I'm not real computer savvy!! Let me know if you need anything else! Cassie

Hi Ken......be prepared, lol. http.//search.aol.com/aol/afe?s_it=DNSERROR&q=http%3A%2F%www.bariatricpal.com%2Fpatients%2Fportal%2F3Fdo%3Dsurgeon

Hello Friend! I'm opening this a day late, so you're probably already out of surgery (and fighting off the terrible gas pains.....sorry ) But, to me, that was the worst part of recovery. And you've had double bypass???? This will seem like a walk in the park compared to that!! I hope you read this when you're feeling able and let me know how you're feeling. Hang in there and trust GOD! Cassie

This isn't really a new topic, but I need assistance anyway. I have tried for 15 minutes to find out how to update my profile, and I need to make some changes. (how they have my Dr. listed as being from Baltimore, MD I have NO idea). Any help would be really appreciated. Hope everyone is doing well and having success!

You go girl !!!! 33 lbs. in 3 days??? Am I reading that correctly? You are an inspiration to so many. Your boys needing you is a similar reason for deciding on my surgery. I have one son, who'll be 32 next month. (but I still want to be around if he needs me, we are very close). BUT, I really wanted to stick around in the hope that he and his wife will bless me with a grandchild, and there was a really good chance that I may not hung around that long. I want to be able to run around with them, go to the park take them swimming without passing out. Best decision I ever made for just ME! I wish you continued success and keep me posted on how it's going! Cassie

Every dr. is different, but I was allowed sugar free and it couldn't be a red color.

I had my sleeve done June of 2015, and I know exactly how you feel. But you must have put a lot of thought and energy into this decision, so follow your instincts and keep going. I've lost 135 lbs. and I was 55 years old. I knew it was my last chance at finally defeating being fat most of my life. Throughout the hills and valleys, it was the best thing I ever did for ME. Keep in touch and let me know how you're doing. Sending you much luck and for you to be at peace with the surgery!!!

Hello everyone who wrote back after my post "Can I vent"? I understand most people just think I'm a complainer who will NEVER be happy with what I've accomplished, which is totally not true. I just bought size 10 jeans yesterday, a first in my life. How can that NOT make me happy?? But in my heart and mind, that happiness just happens to be tainted somewhat with the "leftovers". And as one of you said, it 's not just the wrinkles, it's the LOOK of them, some call it crepey skin. I swear my 82 year old Mother had that too. And so do 99% of people in retirement homes. How can that not depress me somewhat?? If I looked at someone my age 57, and saw a 150 lb. person with upper arms like that, my curiosity would be peaked . The 2 totally conflict with each other and maybe if someone had told me to expect it, I might have been more prepared. No one did, I had NO IDEA this would come to be. My upper arms looked better when I was 278 lbs. So, such is life. My husband couldn't care less about it, something else that makes me happy. I smile mostly and just try to avoid mirrors, lol. We all carry our own baggage (no pun intended), and this is some of mine. I have my moments of but it's not an everyday. I wish you all much success and happiness. Thanks, Cassie

Hello, my name is Cassie and I am a member of this website. Tomorrow will mark my 15 post-op anniversary and I have a question I have been anxiously trying to find answers for and have been unsuccessful in my search. I am hoping you can provide me with some answers. I was sent home from the hospital with a large booklet containing all I need to know about my operation, and everything to expect afterwards. Ideas, rules, charts etc. and I can't find anything in there. I am looking for what the RECOMMENDED grams of carbs and sugars that I can safely have each day. I have no idea what those numbers are, and I feel it's very important in continuing the process. I am 123 lbs. down and would like to either maintain or possibly lose another 5 or so. (I'm only afraid of losing more due to the horribly excessive "leftovers" of that kind of weight loss.) I am 57 years old. If you could give me an answer for this, I would be very appreciative. Many thanks and have a wonderful day!

Hi.....SO glad to hear that someone shares my feelings. The part you hit right on the head is the way the skin looks, not that it just sags! They call it "crepey" skin and yes, it makes my upper arms look like I'm 80! How do your arms look now? And please let me know about the surgery and recovery times. I've heard about lots of lasting post-op pain and the procedures causing so many after effects that it took quite a long time to get back to "normal". I would really just love my arms done, the rest is somewhat (and I do mean somewhat) easier to hide. Belt lift and thigh lift I'm not familiar with. If you could fill me in a little on the procedures, I would be very grateful. Thank you so much for the kind compliments and I'm so happy you shared. Cassie

Thank you, and so well said. "Hump", I love that name! If I could ask a favor, if you ever do the plastics, could you keep in touch with me and let me know how it went? I seem to have only heard horror stories about recovery times and extended severe pain. I'm somewhat of a wimp, lol. Unlike you, I don't think I've ever been a normal size since my early 20's (I'm 56 now). So I'm not a newbie at seeing things in the mirror that I don't like. But this time is some how different. As I said in my letter, I guess I just didn't expect SO much left over, and stupidly thinking that if I just keep losing, it will flatten out. I'm usually not that naive. But forward I will go and hope for a "better" view of things in the future. And again, if you could keep my name handy to write later on, I would be very grateful. Cassie

I would hope when I reach 80, that I will be so happy with just that gift, that I won't worry about the other crap. I think to be happy would be to get rid of what the weight loss has left behind. (though I will live with my stomach, I've heard too many horror stories about tummy tuck recovery) Would I see more flaws even in the fat wasn't there? I don't know. I would like to think not. But you never know. I do see my long time therapist, and she's been trying for years for me to learn to accept ALL of me....any way, shape or form. She never gives up, but I'm a hard nut to crack. Thank you for the input, it's appreciated.

Thank you for the compliment! I didn't have the courage to show one any part of me except my face, lol. My brain just looks at current pictures and sees the flaws instead of the good. I will work to get past this! And yes.....FLAT AND HANGING boobs! Not attractive! You're doing well, keep up the good work!