I had surgery in April did not have to take Polish off hands or feet or take my gel off. Pulse ox on finger
Sent from my XT1254 using the BariatricPal App
Yesterday marked 3 weeks until my "BIG" day. And I feel like I'm on the verge of a panic attack.
I have always struggled with anxiety, and as I have aged, it has improved significantly unless something major triggers it. But even then, my rebound time is much faster than it was 5+ years ago. My coping skills have improved. Go me!
However, between the surgery being right around the corner, and a VERY stressful job...this little lady is all out of sorts. I tried the whole "retreat" mechanism which is my first instinct when things get tough. I shut down. I shut everyone near and dear to me out. And I process. And while I enjoy this option more, I know that it is unhealthy and what has played a huge role in my weight. Because while I am secluded in my own little world, all I need is me and my food. Gimme that chocolate and some of those potatoes. And I slowly begin to reappear, eventually. So here are my concerns:
-Work (stressful job + unhealthy relationship with a superior)
-Pre op and post op diet
(I've done the research. I have a ton of material from my surgeon's office. I truly am prepared. But I have totally allowed my mind to screw with me and convince me that I'm not. Anxiety, remember? I'm not worried about the length of the specific diets or stages or what I can or CAN'T have. I literally just feel like everything I've learned over the last 9 months has suddenly vanished. My diet starts Tuesday. So I plan to sit and dive right back into my manuals within the next day or so and re-educate/reassure myself that I do know and I do understand what I am to do.......)
-Energy levels after WLS (I've read where it is not uncommon to feel less than par for up to 6 weeks after surgery. Some sooner, some longer. I'm worried that I'm going to tire more easily and am concerned with how this will affect my job performance..if at all? I work as an IT consultant and we have multiple clients which include 3 hospitals + multiple physician and Lawyers offices. I am constantly on the freakin go. Work begins before I leave my house in the morning and continues after I arrive home. I am hands on and regularly crawling on the floor to look at/repair computers, servers, you name it. The one upside to my job is that I am on my feet more so than not. So, I'm always sure to average between 7,000 and 10,000 steps at work alone.)
-There are a few more concerns...but I'll stop there
So, my concerns aren't whether I'm going to lose fast or have excess skin. I mean...those are possibly there...but way way wayyyy down on the list. I'm mostly concerned about my emotional well being after surgery. I know that this is going to be as much mental...if not more...than physical. And I don't know whether to reach for a Xanax or a brown paper bag
I do know that I've got to get out of my head and some of my concerns are probably minute and a waist of energy. Which is why I am here. I know that I need to get these things off my chest and talk them out. Only then will I feel better and become more comfortable with what is about to take place in my life. So here is Megan...in all her glory....vulnerable and transparent. [patting self on back]
Sent from my SM-N910V using the BariatricPal App
