SuperSparkly72

Welcome! And congrats for making it this far. This is a wonderful site for support and information and I encourage you to take full advantage of the wealth of wisdom the vets here have to offer. It's been invaluable for me. Invest in warm socks! . . . and blankets . . . My surgery was in January and I have never been so happy to see summer in my life. I was so cold! And the more weight you lose, the colder you'll be. Oh, and invest in a seat cushion of some sort! Because the flatter your bum gets, the harder the chairs get. At least until you learn how to sit on an uncushioned backside. Best of luck on your journey.

My NUT recommends Nature Valley Protein bars. If you look at the macros, the calories and carbs are much lower than most of the more commercial bars. . . . and they cost a lot less. Even less expensive, I buy the store brand that has the same nutrient stats. However, my NUT says only one a day. I always have one in my purse in case I'm out and about without a chance for real food.

What temperature is your Water? I can only drink room temp., otherwise, it makes my stomach hurt. In the beginning, I tolerated hot beverages better than anything else so I lived on hot tea. Using a straw helped me get more liquids in than straight up drinking but I know there is some controversy about that topic so proceed with caution if you go that route. I would also recommend that you contact your medical team about the pain just to rule out any other more serious problems.

So exciting! Congrats on making it this far.

You are very welcome. Keep us posted on how you are doing. Take each day one moment at a time. Before you know it, you'll find your balance again.

I'm glad to hear that the two of you are finally talking. It's hard when one partner goes all quiet on you. There are a lot of SOs who struggle with the risk of surgery and it takes a very secure person not to have doubts about how he will relate to the new you once you start losing weight and feeling better. It's a big change for everyone in a household. I remember those last few weeks before my surgery. I was a wreck. Excited, anxious . . . hungry from my 2-week liquid diet which made me grumpy. You are in a very emotional and vulnerable state. The key for your relationship is honest, open communication. Your fiancee needs to know what to expect from you (As in "Hey, babe, I'm a bundle of emotions, it's going to last for a few months but it will get better"). And you need to be straight up about what you need from him. The good news is, it sounds like the two of you have a solid relationship and that when he isn't in a funk, he's a pretty good guy. Hang in there. I agree with LisaMergs, now is not the time for you to be making any more life-altering decisions. Get through your surgery, the healing and the hormone dump and then re-evaluate where you are in life. There are a lot of changes ahead and you don't want to make an emotionally driven decision that you might regret six months from now. You've got time. This is your life and you are in charge of how it plays out. Take a deep breath and be really good to yourself. Wishing you all the best.

Personally, I can't do the moderation thing . . . my carb and sugar addiction is too strong. Carbs and sugar create a craving for more carbs and sugar and I find that I'm always hungry. It took me two weeks to detox from a sugar binge I went on and I was starving most of that time. Once I got the sugar out of my system, I was fine. But I won't touch refined sugar again. Of course, when I say carbs, I'm talking about the empty-calorie processed foods: crackers, chips, bread, etc. Same with sugar: processed white sugar. I get plenty of healthy carbs (and sugar) from Beans, veggies and fruit. I stay away from anything potato because that is another big trigger for me. But that's just me. For some people, the thought of never having something they love is as more of a trigger to binge than actually eating the food itself. You need to figure out what works best for you. Maybe a compromise though? Maybe you tell yourself that you won't touch the stuff during your weight loss phase and then revisit some of your favorites during maintenance. That could curb some of the all or nothing thinking that might be driving you to overeat right now. Good luck with your journey! There are hard days but it is definitely worth the sacrifices we make to become healthy.

OMG! That's hilarious! Can you imagine the bingo night that clerk was thinking of?

You don't sound like a brat at all. You sound like a woman on the precipice of an enormous life change who is trying to figure out a very complex situation. This is a highly emotional time in your life and, I'm sorry to say, after surgery it will continue to be so for several months because on top of the physical changes your body will go through you will also being dealing with a flood of hormones from the rapid weight loss. You're right, you need all of the support and positive energy you can get. Which is not to say that you should walk away from your relationship right now. . . or that you should stay. A few questions: When is your surgery? How long have you and your fiance been together? How long has this distance been between the two of you? (Is he usually supportive and this fight atypical?) What do your family and friends think about him and your relationship? Sometimes people outside of situation can offer a different perspective. The two of you need to sit down and really talk. Maybe you could go away for a weekend, maybe with a couple's counselor . . . something that will help you communicate with one another. I know from 21 years of marriage that you can't just ignore a problem and hope that it will somehow fix itself. Congrats on getting your surgery date. I'm sorry your joy is being stifled by your current situation. Stay strong and keep reaching out to people for help. And never apologize for how you feel. Life is rarely as simple as happy or sad; there's just too much going on. We care about you here and I'm wishing you all the best.

In my personal life, I choose to tell people that I had bypass. Professionally, I tell people that I have been on a medically supervised diet for the past year. Unless it is someone I think might benefit from the surgery and then I tell them, too. But that's my personal choice. I'm a blabbermouth who can't keep secrets about herself. And I don't really care about judgy, uptight sorts who might disapprove.

Thank you so much for so articulately sharing what many of the rest of us are feeling but can't quite put into words. Fat-shaming is that last bastion of the bigotted; the one thing people are allowed to show prejudice towards. I hate it. And I work hard at not hating many things. It never ceases to amaze me how differently I am treated now that I am a "normal" size. But, I know the people who have loved me big and small and that is who I choose to focus my energy on. You're right. We're all incredible! Thanks again. And good for you, catching yourself before you went too far down the rabbit hole of self-doubt. Thanks for helping the rest of us.

I agree completely! My one exception to the not telling clients rule is those I know would benefit from the surgery. I answer honestly and leave it open for dialogue if they have questions.

"I've been on a medically supervised diet for over a year now. I guess it's starting to show." That's my go to answer for clients. My co-workers all know; mostly because I'm terrible about keeping my own secrets. But I work with a bunch of affirming, touchy-feely folks, so they've been supportive. If they weren't, I still wouldn't care. One of the best gifts I ever gave myself was to realize that while not everyone can appreciate the magnificence that is me, there are plenty of people who do and I choose to focus my energy on those relationships rather than trying to win anyone else's approval.

I'm a Cincinnati girl.

LOL!!!!! No! But I'm telling you right now, no more pop rocks for him until I get over the pie!