angelburch

Today, Dr. S office called me and said that there was a family emergency and he wouldn't be in this week. They would call me later next week to reschedule my appt. That was really really hard for me. After all the emotional ups and downs, I was really looking forward to my first Doctor's appt. So I called a different Doc . . . Dr Jay, which a lot of people on this website use. I was shocked when they said they could see me tomorrow morning at 9:30am. My BF saw him earlier today and she was very impressed. That was really reassuring to me. I might still see the other doctor when their office calls, but we'll see what happens. I showed my hubby the website, and he told me that he had reached his decision, that he was in with me whole heartedly and 100% - Thank GOD (I'm sure the fact that they both graduated from the same College have NOTHING to do with it - go RAIDERS) That pretty much did away with some of the emotional stuff that I was going through over the weekend. I know my attitude was incredibly lousy, but this journal really helps me to get it out of my head. I feel a lot better about things today. Why is it that once you make a decision to do something (after researching for almost a year), you are ready NOW!!?? It would make more sense for me to wait for the surgery until after the 1st of the year (time off from work), but at the same time I'm afraid our insurance may write this out of their policy. Well, once again . . . we will see :nervous

Today, Dr. S office called me and said that there was a family emergency and he wouldn't be in this week. They would call me later next week to reschedule my appt. That was really really hard for me. After all the emotional ups and downs, I was really looking forward to my first Doctor's appt. So I called a different Doc . . . Dr Jay, which a lot of people on this website use. I was shocked when they said they could see me tomorrow morning at 9:30am. My BF saw him earlier today and she was very impressed. That was really reassuring to me. I might still see the other doctor when their office calls, but we'll see what happens. I showed my hubby the website, and he told me that he had reached his decision, that he was in with me whole heartedly and 100% - Thank GOD (I'm sure the fact that they both graduated from the same College have NOTHING to do with it - go RAIDERS) That pretty much did away with some of the emotional stuff that I was going through over the weekend. I know my attitude was incredibly lousy, but this journal really helps me to get it out of my head. I feel a lot better about things today. Why is it that once you make a decision to do something (after researching for almost a year), you are ready NOW!!?? It would make more sense for me to wait for the surgery until after the 1st of the year (time off from work), but at the same time I'm afraid our insurance may write this out of their policy. Well, once again . . . we will see :nervous

I am very angry. I discovered that yesterday when my husband came back from getting his hair cut (we use the same person), and said "We were talking about you getting the LapBand, and she (the hair stylist) said she sure wished you could see a nutritionist before doing this". Something snapped inside my head . . . I actually heard it. It took me a moment to realize that it was inside my head and not something that my husband heard. The anger came out . . . not literally, but all the anger that I have kept inside of me for years and years. I've never been good at expressing anger because I have always been "the nice one". Whenever my family or friends want to do something I do it (whether I really want to or not), because I'm "the nice one". My Mother taught me that we always put others first (that's what Christ did), and everyone's feelings come first. So, whenever I have gotten angry in the past, I felt guilty and so I hid it. Well, not anymore. I told my husband that I did not appreciate him discussing my LBand with anyone else. It wasn't his to discuss. It was my decision, and I will choose who I tell and who I don't. I left to go get ready for this award supper for his 15 years at the company, which I cannot tell you how much I did NOT want to go. I cried the entire time I was getting ready. He came in about 20 minutes later, and that's when I let him have it. I told him that he needed to take a couple of days and decide whether or not he was really going to support my decision. He's either on board with it or not. And it doesn't really matter to me at this point. His decision doesn't affect mine. For the 1st time, I told him this was ALL ABOUT ME!!! I am tired of being fat, and fearful that each time I step on the scales I will tip the 300lb mark. I watched "The Half Ton Man" on the Discovery Health Channel yesterday, and my husband said, "I don't have any idea how people can get to that point". I told him I understood completely, and that I could get to that point so very easily. He said he didn't believe me, so I got up and left. People with addictions get that way. I have an addictive personality. Smoking and eating are my addictions. The truth about a food addict is that it's the one addiction you can never get away from. Smokers, alcoholics and people who use drugs . . . . once they get sober, they don't ever use cigarettes, alcohol or drugs again. When you're a food addict, you can't not ever eat again. It's the one addiction that you have to keep using. Who am I angry with? Everyone and no one. I'm angry at my family and friends, the strangers I see at the store. I'm angry at me. Last night was torture. I smiled, made polite conversation and laughed in all the appropriate places, because socially that's what they expect you to do. Today, my husband asked me what was wrong, and I told him that I was angry. Not the yelling, spitting kind, but the kind that comes from way down deep. He asked if I was angry at him, and I told him that this wasn't about him, but me. I will talk with him about it when the time comes, but it's not now. Tomorrow I go for my first appt with the Doc about getting the LBand. I told my husband I didn't want him there.

I am very angry. I discovered that yesterday when my husband came back from getting his hair cut (we use the same person), and said "We were talking about you getting the LapBand, and she (the hair stylist) said she sure wished you could see a nutritionist before doing this". Something snapped inside my head . . . I actually heard it. It took me a moment to realize that it was inside my head and not something that my husband heard. The anger came out . . . not literally, but all the anger that I have kept inside of me for years and years. I've never been good at expressing anger because I have always been "the nice one". Whenever my family or friends want to do something I do it (whether I really want to or not), because I'm "the nice one". My Mother taught me that we always put others first (that's what Christ did), and everyone's feelings come first. So, whenever I have gotten angry in the past, I felt guilty and so I hid it. Well, not anymore. I told my husband that I did not appreciate him discussing my LBand with anyone else. It wasn't his to discuss. It was my decision, and I will choose who I tell and who I don't. I left to go get ready for this award supper for his 15 years at the company, which I cannot tell you how much I did NOT want to go. I cried the entire time I was getting ready. He came in about 20 minutes later, and that's when I let him have it. I told him that he needed to take a couple of days and decide whether or not he was really going to support my decision. He's either on board with it or not. And it doesn't really matter to me at this point. His decision doesn't affect mine. For the 1st time, I told him this was ALL ABOUT ME!!! I am tired of being fat, and fearful that each time I step on the scales I will tip the 300lb mark. I watched "The Half Ton Man" on the Discovery Health Channel yesterday, and my husband said, "I don't have any idea how people can get to that point". I told him I understood completely, and that I could get to that point so very easily. He said he didn't believe me, so I got up and left. People with addictions get that way. I have an addictive personality. Smoking and eating are my addictions. The truth about a food addict is that it's the one addiction you can never get away from. Smokers, alcoholics and people who use drugs . . . . once they get sober, they don't ever use cigarettes, alcohol or drugs again. When you're a food addict, you can't not ever eat again. It's the one addiction that you have to keep using. Who am I angry with? Everyone and no one. I'm angry at my family and friends, the strangers I see at the store. I'm angry at me. Last night was torture. I smiled, made polite conversation and laughed in all the appropriate places, because socially that's what they expect you to do. Today, my husband asked me what was wrong, and I told him that I was angry. Not the yelling, spitting kind, but the kind that comes from way down deep. He asked if I was angry at him, and I told him that this wasn't about him, but me. I will talk with him about it when the time comes, but it's not now. Tomorrow I go for my first appt with the Doc about getting the LBand. I told my husband I didn't want him there.

Last night I had to go shopping for something to wear to a company function. A very nice dinner at a very expensive restaurant to celebrate employees who have been with the company for 15 years or more (My husband has the 15 years, I just celebrated my 13th with the same company). I HATE shopping . . . absolutely hate it. I hate that I wear a size 24, or 3X. I hate that everything I try on looks like an something my grandmother would wear. I hate that everything "dressy" has sparkles and rhinestones on it. Is that supposed to draw the eye away from how fat I am? I hate that what ever is fashionable does not come in a size 24, or everything is in "Petites". Don't fashion people know that some fat people are tall? I'm 5' 8" and weight 285lbs. There isn't a single article of clothing that has ever been created that looks good on someone that size. So I settled for some stupid outfit that yells "Look at me . . . I'm fat". So when we go to dinner tonight, I'll look at the other people there who have a shape other than "round" and feel extrremely inferior. Oh well, it's how I'm used to feeling. I can't wait to see Dr. Scott on Monday. If my insurance doesn't pay for this, I still have the ability to pay cash for the surgery (thank GOD). My husband and I talked a lot Thursday evening. I was very blunt and honest about my feelings. He cried and said he didn't realize how much I was hurting. He is scheduled to have lasik surgery on January 5th, and when I told him that was when I was hoping to have my surgery, he said he would reschedule or even cancel his. I can't let him do that because this has been his dream for 10 years. My dream of being slimmer and healthier has been going on for over 20. At least his is scheduled and everything is settled. My surgery will happen . . . I just don't know when.

Last night I had to go shopping for something to wear to a company function. A very nice dinner at a very expensive restaurant to celebrate employees who have been with the company for 15 years or more (My husband has the 15 years, I just celebrated my 13th with the same company). I HATE shopping . . . absolutely hate it. I hate that I wear a size 24, or 3X. I hate that everything I try on looks like an something my grandmother would wear. I hate that everything "dressy" has sparkles and rhinestones on it. Is that supposed to draw the eye away from how fat I am? I hate that what ever is fashionable does not come in a size 24, or everything is in "Petites". Don't fashion people know that some fat people are tall? I'm 5' 8" and weight 285lbs. There isn't a single article of clothing that has ever been created that looks good on someone that size. So I settled for some stupid outfit that yells "Look at me . . . I'm fat". So when we go to dinner tonight, I'll look at the other people there who have a shape other than "round" and feel extrremely inferior. Oh well, it's how I'm used to feeling. I can't wait to see Dr. Scott on Monday. If my insurance doesn't pay for this, I still have the ability to pay cash for the surgery (thank GOD). My husband and I talked a lot Thursday evening. I was very blunt and honest about my feelings. He cried and said he didn't realize how much I was hurting. He is scheduled to have lasik surgery on January 5th, and when I told him that was when I was hoping to have my surgery, he said he would reschedule or even cancel his. I can't let him do that because this has been his dream for 10 years. My dream of being slimmer and healthier has been going on for over 20. At least his is scheduled and everything is settled. My surgery will happen . . . I just don't know when.

I am so excited! I got an appointment with Dr. Scott at UT Southwestern for Monday at 3pm:clap2: I can't wait to go see them and start this journey. Today, my husband informed me that he was having his dream come true . . . he's getting lasik surgery . . . on January 5th! While I am very happy for him, I was hoping to have my surgery the 1st week of January. So, now it will have to wait another week or two. Perhaps I can get mine prior to January 1st. Either way, I'm very please about my decision and it seems like each day, there are signs that only reinforce my decision. My Best Friend, Steph has an appt on Monday morning too, only with a different doc. We are going to get together afterwards and compare notes. We may or may not end up using the same doc. Now, the downside . . . I don't think my husband is quite as supportive about this as he says. He expressed some concerns today, and also told me that he believed I was fully capable of losing weight "the hard way" (his words). "You just don't believe it yourself" -- that's what he said. My hubby has had some issues with his weight in the past, but he has been fully capable of losing it on his own, even to the point of looking anorexic. However I told him he was right, that I don't believe I can do it the "hard way". I've tried it for over the last 15 years, and it hasn't stuck. The slimmest I have been in over 15 years is 224. My ideal weight would be about 165. At 44 years old and being 5'8", I think that's an achievable, realistic goal. Either way, I'm doing this for me, not him. So he will have to accept that.

I am so excited! I got an appointment with Dr. Scott at UT Southwestern for Monday at 3pm:clap2: I can't wait to go see them and start this journey. Today, my husband informed me that he was having his dream come true . . . he's getting lasik surgery . . . on January 5th! While I am very happy for him, I was hoping to have my surgery the 1st week of January. So, now it will have to wait another week or two. Perhaps I can get mine prior to January 1st. Either way, I'm very please about my decision and it seems like each day, there are signs that only reinforce my decision. My Best Friend, Steph has an appt on Monday morning too, only with a different doc. We are going to get together afterwards and compare notes. We may or may not end up using the same doc. Now, the downside . . . I don't think my husband is quite as supportive about this as he says. He expressed some concerns today, and also told me that he believed I was fully capable of losing weight "the hard way" (his words). "You just don't believe it yourself" -- that's what he said. My hubby has had some issues with his weight in the past, but he has been fully capable of losing it on his own, even to the point of looking anorexic. However I told him he was right, that I don't believe I can do it the "hard way". I've tried it for over the last 15 years, and it hasn't stuck. The slimmest I have been in over 15 years is 224. My ideal weight would be about 165. At 44 years old and being 5'8", I think that's an achievable, realistic goal. Either way, I'm doing this for me, not him. So he will have to accept that.

After many days/weeks of reviewing this website, I have finally decided to to do. I called the Bariatric Surgery Center (at UT Southwester in Dallas) on Friday (10/27) to make an appointment. They asked me if I were interested in the by-pass or the lap band. I told them that I was interested in both. They are supposed to call me back next week for my first appointment.:drum: I have be trying to decide which surgery is the best option for me. Then yesterday, my best friend, Steph (who is considering the same thing) told me about a lady at our office who had recently been banded. She had it on a Thursday, and was back on work the following Monday. Our insurance paid for it, even though she doesn't have very many health issues (other than being over 100lbs and a high BMI (38). Steph and I spent all day Saturday shopping and talking about the surgery. Her husband is getting the by-pass surgery. While I like the idea of the by-pass surgery (quicker weight loss), I don't like the idea of it being permanent. Also, I've heard that if you develop stomach cancer, they can't scope you with a by-pass surgery. My fears are that once banded, what if there are complications? Slippage, erosions, leakage. Will I know when that happens? What if I over eat, or eat too fast (while in public) and start throwing up, or whatever? I'm so sick and tired of being fat. I've been seriously overweight since I was 22. At my current age of 44 I know that I have a very small window left to lose weight before I start seeing some serious long term health consequences. Currently, my health issues are relatively small, and are weight related. Joint pain, border-line diabetes, snooring, and a general feeling of just not feeling good. Bottom line - I've decided to go with the lap-band. I will update as soon as I hear back from the Doctor's office.

Today, my friend Steph called the Plano Surgery Center, and they've already set up her 1st appt for this Wednesday at 2pm. I am soooo excited for her. I had called the UT Bariatric Center last Friday, and they said they would call me this week to set my appt. If they don't call this week (or they set my appt out in to December), I am going to call the same place Steph did. I have already met all my deductibles for this year, and would like to get banded this year.

Today, my friend Steph called the Plano Surgery Center, and they've already set up her 1st appt for this Wednesday at 2pm. I am soooo excited for her. I had called the UT Bariatric Center last Friday, and they said they would call me this week to set my appt. If they don't call this week (or they set my appt out in to December), I am going to call the same place Steph did. I have already met all my deductibles for this year, and would like to get banded this year.

After many days/weeks of reviewing this website, I have finally decided to to do. I called the Bariatric Surgery Center (at UT Southwester in Dallas) on Friday (10/27) to make an appointment. They asked me if I were interested in the by-pass or the lap band. I told them that I was interested in both. They are supposed to call me back next week for my first appointment. I have be trying to decide which surgery is the best option for me. Then yesterday, my best friend, Steph (who is considering the same thing) told me about a lady at our office who had recently been banded. She had it on a Thursday, and was back on work the following Monday. Our insurance paid for it, even though she doesn't have very many health issues (other than being over 100lbs and a high BMI (38). Steph and I spent all day Saturday shopping and talking about the surgery. Her husband is getting the by-pass surgery. While I like the idea of the by-pass surgery (quicker weight loss), I don't like the idea of it being permanent. Also, I've heard that if you develop stomach cancer, they can't scope you with a by-pass surgery. My fears are that once banded, what if there are complications? Slippage, erosions, leakage. Will I know when that happens? What if I over eat, or eat too fast (while in public) and start throwing up, or whatever? I'm so sick and tired of being fat. I've been seriously overweight since I was 22. At my current age of 44 I know that I have a very small window left to lose weight before I start seeing some serious long term health consequences. Currently, my health issues are relatively small, and are weight related. Joint pain, border-line diabetes, snooring, and a general feeling of just not feeling good. Bottom line - I've decided to go with the lap-band. I will update as soon as I hear back from the Doctor's office.

Hi! I live in the DFW area and have been considering the band. I am attending a seminar on it on Dec. 6th. I have numerous concerns, but at 43, I feel that I dont have any other choice. I've tried EVERYTHING except this. I'm at the heaviest I have ever been -- 285 --. I've been thinking about Dr. Hagood, but don't really know much about him. Any suggestions, recommendations, advice?