NeedaBreak4Me

My condolences to you and your family. Death is something that is never easy to deal with.
I wouldn't put too much pressure on yourself, try to make good choices, but there is no need to feel guilty or stress yourself this early after the loss of your father.
Be kind to yourself, let your wounds heal, give yourself a some leniency and allow yourself to go through the grieving process.
My advice is to make the "better choice", choose the healthier option of what is available... unfortunately life does not stop when we have wls, there will be times when it is harder to stick to our plan, but as long as you have it in the back of your mind, and do not allow yourself to fall completely off the wagon, everything will become easier with time.
Be mindful not to try and "eat" your emotions, try not to "reward" your feelings.... just take each day as exactly that... one day... if you fail that one day.... try again the next.
I really hope things improve for you... sending lots of warm hugs and comfort your way *hugs*

What you have said completely resonates with me.....
I was overweight my whole life... tried and failed many many times to lose weight...
I grew up being the social outcast, never fit in, would constantly be the wall flower... had my guard so high up that i never allowed anyone to get close enough to me to form real friendships.
I made the decision to have lap band 8 years ago as i was constantly sick, and on the verge of developing diabetes..had PCOS, was acne ridden, hairy, had no self esteem and did not love myself at all.
i took the plunge and did it... and it was one of the best choices i made!
I lost all my weight, got to goal, completely reversed my insulin resistance and PCOS.
The most surprising side effect of losing weight is that i finally learned to love myself.
Not to say it was an easy road, i lost many friends, it changed me as a person, i no longer was a people pleaser, i stopped caring so much about how others viewed me, i subconsciously was selfish for a while.... and in time i gained my confidence, and that helped me get out of my shell... i made new friends, found new interests... and became the person i am today.
Fast forward a few years, my band failed and i had it removed... i gained a decent amount of weight... and all my self esteem, locking myself away and insulin resistance and pcos came back!
I stopped socialising, i started isolating myself, i lost my groove and could see myself falling back into old habits...
So, let me get to my point.... and answer your question... yes... wls can reverse your diabetes and bp... it has proven to be so for many people.... and you will find that it does not only benefit you physically, but mentally and psychologically....
As someone who has been on literally both ends of the scale, i can tell you that excess weight does not only affect you physically it affects you mentally as well.
You have taken the right steps in regard to your health.. and you are still early out... things get sooooo much easier with time... yes it takes some time to adjust to your new style of eating... but in time it becomes second nature...
Be kind to yourself and your body.. try not to be too hard on yourself... the improvements will happen in time... just understand that initially there is an adjustment period.
I really wish that all your health issues get resolved and i hope in the near future you can come back and say... that aussiegirl81... with all her rambling might be onto something.
Giving you lots of love and support... if you need anything we are here for you ????

Completely normal and healthy feelings to have prior to surgery..
I had them all....
- ill never be able to enjoy food again
- i won't be able to be social because i can't eat
- what happens if i get sick and i need an ultrasound and i need to drink lots of Water
- if i choke on food, will not be able to drink to wash it down
- I'll never enjoy food again
-i can do this without doing wls
-maybe i should do the pre op diet long term
-im not that big, its too drastic
-is being slim and healthy worth cutting off my tummy
-am i just really vain
The list goes on....
Well, let me tell you... i was wrong, i sucked it up... had the surgery, recovered, healed and now i feel normal.... i eat, i socialise, i am living life exactly like i did pre wls... the only difference is that now i get full on smaller portions... and feeling healthier and more confident within myself.
What you are feeling is normal... allow yourself to feel these feelings... and remind yourself as to why you got here to begin with... do a list of pros and cons if you are really considering backing out.
Good luck with your surgery.. let us know how you go

Hi... i hope you are recovering well.
I was revised from band to sleeve... and the difference is like night and day.
When i had my band removed i did have a "phantom" band for a few weeks... but once that subsided my tummy was like my pre band tummy... normal.
Now that i am sleeved and healed... it just feels like a normal stomach... i can eat and drink without feeling odd sensations, pressure or food getting stuck like the band.
Earlier out when i was healing, if i ate too fast or didn't chew properly i would get a little "stuck" feeling.... but nothing like the stuck feeling with the band... sort of like.. stuck without that heavy pressure.
For me, once i passed the first 3-4 weeks... everything just became easier.... now i feel like a normal person, who just eats smaller portions.. Water isn't a issue and i am meeting or exceeding my daily goals.
One thing i will mention... as an ex bander... you will find you can fit a little more food/fluids than virgin sleevers... as we have less sensation in our esophagus because of the band.... so its important that we measure out food until we can adjust to reading the full signals...

Completely normal and healthy feelings to have prior to surgery..
I had them all....
- ill never be able to enjoy food again
- i won't be able to be social because i can't eat
- what happens if i get sick and i need an ultrasound and i need to drink lots of Water
- if i choke on food, will not be able to drink to wash it down
- I'll never enjoy food again
-i can do this without doing wls
-maybe i should do the pre op diet long term
-im not that big, its too drastic
-is being slim and healthy worth cutting off my tummy
-am i just really vain
The list goes on....
Well, let me tell you... i was wrong, i sucked it up... had the surgery, recovered, healed and now i feel normal.... i eat, i socialise, i am living life exactly like i did pre wls... the only difference is that now i get full on smaller portions... and feeling healthier and more confident within myself.
What you are feeling is normal... allow yourself to feel these feelings... and remind yourself as to why you got here to begin with... do a list of pros and cons if you are really considering backing out.
Good luck with your surgery.. let us know how you go

Completely normal and healthy feelings to have prior to surgery..
I had them all....
- ill never be able to enjoy food again
- i won't be able to be social because i can't eat
- what happens if i get sick and i need an ultrasound and i need to drink lots of Water
- if i choke on food, will not be able to drink to wash it down
- I'll never enjoy food again
-i can do this without doing wls
-maybe i should do the pre op diet long term
-im not that big, its too drastic
-is being slim and healthy worth cutting off my tummy
-am i just really vain
The list goes on....
Well, let me tell you... i was wrong, i sucked it up... had the surgery, recovered, healed and now i feel normal.... i eat, i socialise, i am living life exactly like i did pre wls... the only difference is that now i get full on smaller portions... and feeling healthier and more confident within myself.
What you are feeling is normal... allow yourself to feel these feelings... and remind yourself as to why you got here to begin with... do a list of pros and cons if you are really considering backing out.
Good luck with your surgery.. let us know how you go

Hi... i hope you are recovering well.
I was revised from band to sleeve... and the difference is like night and day.
When i had my band removed i did have a "phantom" band for a few weeks... but once that subsided my tummy was like my pre band tummy... normal.
Now that i am sleeved and healed... it just feels like a normal stomach... i can eat and drink without feeling odd sensations, pressure or food getting stuck like the band.
Earlier out when i was healing, if i ate too fast or didn't chew properly i would get a little "stuck" feeling.... but nothing like the stuck feeling with the band... sort of like.. stuck without that heavy pressure.
For me, once i passed the first 3-4 weeks... everything just became easier.... now i feel like a normal person, who just eats smaller portions.. Water isn't a issue and i am meeting or exceeding my daily goals.
One thing i will mention... as an ex bander... you will find you can fit a little more food/fluids than virgin sleevers... as we have less sensation in our esophagus because of the band.... so its important that we measure out food until we can adjust to reading the full signals...

So....here it goes..... i need to have a rant to people who understand.
I had my sleeve done 8 weeks ago... have lost 33lbs last time i checked.. haven't weighed myself in a while.. but i am sure I've lost more since..... 55lbs till i reach goal.
I was 209 when i last checked and an (Australian) size 14 which is quite loose on me... and i am 5'7" so i wouldn't say i am very big by the usual standards... i haven't told anyone other than my family about the surgery to avoid negativity.
So today we had a family get together and wore something i have not been able to fit into in a while.. i was feeling great, really proud of my progress and excited about finally being able to fit into my usual clothes.
One of my family members i have not seen since my first week post op... and this was the comment...
"What was the point of you getting surgery... you arent even skinny yet, what was the point of getting your stomach cut off if you are only going to lose so little in 8 weeks... in my eyes YOU ARE STILL FAT"
Omg.... really? The rest of my family were commenting that it's really starting to show and i am starting to look what i did before i gained weight after removing the band.
So, i basically said "i am not allowing you to belittle my hard work, i won't be subjected to your negativity and will not tolerate being put down" and left.
Why do people feel the need to say such stupid things..why can't they just keep their mouths shut!
It upset me... because i was finally getting my confidence and groove back

@@composed
It makes me wonder though how many people deal with or are in abusive relatonships and have been "broken" by these people to a point that they are too scared to cease contact.
I remember being so petrified when they were around, walking on egg shells practically... somehow after my first surgery i gained confidence and became stronger.... now i won't tolerate abuse or anyone disrespecting me... regardless of who they are...
Its a funny side effect of losing weight... i found my inner strength and voice.... has anyone else become stronger as a result of wls?

I remember years ago i had gone to my doctor, prior to my wls..... i had genuine concerns... i said "doc, i am literally eating like a rabbit, working out an hour a day and am not losing weight, am i doing something wrong? Any suggestions?" His answer "stop lying to me and yourself, you are probably sitting there on the couch eating 3 big macs"
I was mortified, because i actually was eating like a rabbit and working out!
That doctor deserved a big mac shoved into his mouth to shut it hahahaha

You are missing a few adjectives... ie.. good looking, intelligent, funny, adorable, sweet, kind, witty, charming, charismatic, generous, awesome,... i could list all mine, but surely there isn't enough space on this post [emoji12]

@@BarefootDrummer
@@mc2016
Thank you for your support ????
Yes, i agree with you.... its amazing how easy it is for some to belittle you because THEY have an opinion that they know nothing about.
I had the band years ago, and was revised to the sleeve recently.... when i had my band, i told everyone... and boy was that a mistake, i regretted it because of all the negativity and comments that people thought they had the right to make.
This time around i decided that i would not say anything to avoid that.
I was sick of people commenting about my weight, watching me to see what i eat, commenting about what i put in my mouth, making me feel bad if i "cheated", not understanding the hard work it took to get goal.... especially when i was an emotional eater.
I have always been a clean eater, my issue was never junk, but i would eat to suppress my emotions.... so having people be cruel and mean didn't help with that post surgery... it made the fight against my emotional eating so much harder.
But, once i got to goal and maintained for a while.. people did calm down a bit... they got used to my new size and saw me as "normal"... so i guess that was the silver lining.
Once i started gaining after i had the band removed.... they seemed almosy HAPPY about my failure.... which totally sucked... the comments became more frequent and more blunt.
Its sad that as a society we judge people based on their looks/size... and not for their accomplishments and who they are...
its a sad reality when you have been on both ends of the scale (literally) and the difference in how society treats you, the skinnier you are, the better you get treated... which is so wrong....
Now i am just babbling on hahhaa you get my drift lol

@@composed
You hit the nail on the head... i have always truly felt that particular family member has some mental issues... they have no empathy for anyone... and seem to get off on the pain of other people, no verbal filter and literally never felt remorse when they have wronged anyone.
They have lied, cheated, stolen, physically abused people and has always been proud of it.. grrr
This is why i don't really speak to them, only when i "must" and it is unavoidable... hence why i only saw them 2 months after my surgery.... very toxic and negative person.. who needs that in their life... not me

Oh yay! Another aussie! There are a few of us on here... @@KindaFamiliar @ @@aussiecosy
When are you having your surgery? What are you getting done?

Oh yeah... @@ausmith and @@missblonde20
They are also aussies

Whaaaat!? I gave you a compliment!.. [emoji4]

@@KindaFamiliar
Of course i was talking about you.... I'm sure you have plenty of those traits.... but, my mummy tells me all the time i am just perfect... so i am gonna believe her damn it hahaha
*sigh* perfection is a curse lol

You are missing a few adjectives... ie.. good looking, intelligent, funny, adorable, sweet, kind, witty, charming, charismatic, generous, awesome,... i could list all mine, but surely there isn't enough space on this post [emoji12]

@@composed
You hit the nail on the head... i have always truly felt that particular family member has some mental issues... they have no empathy for anyone... and seem to get off on the pain of other people, no verbal filter and literally never felt remorse when they have wronged anyone.
They have lied, cheated, stolen, physically abused people and has always been proud of it.. grrr
This is why i don't really speak to them, only when i "must" and it is unavoidable... hence why i only saw them 2 months after my surgery.... very toxic and negative person.. who needs that in their life... not me