Laineyjeanne

Good luck to you and congratulations on your upcoming surgery! What my surgeon tells me: He uses the high protein/low carb/fat free diet to shrink the liver. Some people have a "fatty liver". Since they put one of the trocars (to pass the camera and instrumentation) just below the liver, they want the liver as small as possible to prevent any trauma to it.

I feel like I should start this like an introduction at an AA (Alcoholics Anon) meeting. "Hi, my name is Lainey, and I'm overweight.".....(Everybody): "Hi Lainey, welcome". At one time I was 5'10 (well, 5'9 and 3/4, actually, but I used to round up). I am now 5'8 and something...I think my feet have flattened as well as some spinal compression. I stepped on the scale at the doctors office this Thursday and the scale read 239. I forgave it for lying. Hopefully soon, it will start being more truthful. It wasn't too long ago I had little sympathy for fat people. Throughout my twenties and thirties I was a steady 128 lbs. I modelled, some print, some runway. My mom, who was heavy since her 40s was somebody I thought had just given up. She's 5'7, and fluctuates between 185 and 220. I used to say: "Fat people should give me their bodies and I'll lose the weight for them." Losing weight was no problem for me...people would wish for my metabolism for thier birthday. Then I hit 40. My metabolism went in the crapper. I just started putting weight on....a few pounds a week. Diets worked only as long as I was on them and then I'd gain the weight back and some as soon as I went off the diet. My decision to band was bourne from my thought of taking myself to my death bed many years down the road. I don't want to have to say: "I've been fat since my 40's..." Now, I marvel at how much self control my mom has. She looks just slightly overweight and is in terriffic shape for a 70 y/o woman. Perspective vs reality issues......but the fact is, just like me, she has been heavy since her 40's...and my grandmother before her. It's my inheritance. I am a nurse anesthetist in my last year of clinical residency in Tampa. That's how I found Dr. Dietrick. He runs the Bariatric Surgery Center at University Community Hospital, where I have been on clinical rotation for the past year. I just did an emergency lap appy with him last night. He was about 20 minutes skin-to-skin. He is very fastidious..unfortunately with my pre-ops, too. I spent almost 2K in pre-op testing....and I'm a self-pay! I've seen these operations up close and personal...from the head of the bed. The anesthetic risk doesn't change. Insufflating the abdomen with CO2 gas is a freaky thing...and we all watch the monitors like an episode of "American Idol" while the doctor stitches the lap band in place. But as far as anesthesia goes..an endotrachael tube is still placed and cuffed, and you pray for a good anesthesia provider....one that gives you enough pain control. I am afraid of waking up in pain.....If you do it seems like forever to get relief. All of a sudden everybody is moving in slow motion, especially the recovery nurse. I know this isn't true....but pain distorts your reality. I am also an astrologer. I was certified to the intermediate level by NCGR, and just never went back to get my advanced certification. I want to book on the 26th after 11 am because before that the moon is void-of-course. What the heck is a void-of-course moon, you may ask? It's when the moon has made it's last aspect to the latest degree planet in ANY sign...it then goes void-of-course until it goes into the next sign. It's kind of like going through the Lincoln tunnel. You start out in Manhattan, and once you get in the tunnel, you don't get out until you're in NJ. You never know where you're going to end up at the end of a void-of-course moon. Now, I was born under a void-of-course moon, so that makes it a little different for me, but I just asked another astrologer and she told me her experience is that medical procedures booked under a void-of course moon don't actually take place. Now that would be a nightmare. There are other astrological considerations, too....like not having any procedure done when the moon is in the sign ruling that part of the body (that would be moon in cancer for a lap band)....and you want the mars (surgeon) well aspected. All in all, I'm happy with the 26th as a date. So deep breath, putting all my fears aside, I will soon join the ranks of the lap band of brothers. Hopefully, in the not-too-distant future, there will be a lot less of me. I want to go back to being a skinny bitch with attitude and confidence. I've been skinny, and I've been fat. Life's better skinny. It seems like just a dream right now, and it's more than 100 pounds away. Yet every day I feel myself drifting towards that dream with an all-consuming purpose. More later.....

Shortgal....of course I would like my surgeon to be well aspected (astrologically speaking, of course) for the surgery. But based on the reaction to my little post here @ LBT, can you imagine his eyebrows as I ask for his birthday to make sure his moon (or mars) is in the right place while he's doing my surgery?

Lynne...I'm not ignoring you, honey. I typed two responses but somehow when I went to post and erased them, instead. I'll get the hang of this site soon....I did look up the date. I have to run out tonight..all the nurse anesthesia residents are celebrating...our comprehensive exams for the boards...so I guess I'm starting my pre-op diet tomorrow. I'll send you something under private cover.

Thanks Make33!! When I saw the first two posts I thought to myself..."Oh my, what have I done....I should have kept my mouth shut...." I wasn't a hater....I just didn't understand the struggle with yo-yoing weight, the bias towards the uber-skinny world, prejudice against fat people, etc, etc. And yes, my mother is a wonderful, beautiful person. She has taught me much in this life, including self acceptance, and for that I AM grateful.

To Be Free: I think you're exactly right!! I have often had that thought. I want to go back to when I was younger and school myself in tolerance....for more than my fellow man just being overweight! I think for me, tolerance is only something that came with time.