SarahSleeve

September 26, 2016 ============================ Been a while since I updated! We're all moved and settled in the new house. Got the results from my sleep study and I do have very mild apnea, which I am required to treat for 2 full months before surgery. I picked up the CPAP last week. It'll take some getting used to but I did manage to leave it on my face all night last night (other nights I'd pull it off after the required 4 hour minimum use time). Completed the 6 hours of lifestyle classes and have completed 1 of 2 counseling appointments (second is in 2 weeks). Had my 3 month follow up with exercise and they were happy with my progress and gave me guidelines for where they want me to be before surgery (5 days per week, working up to 60 mins/day of moderate activity, along with some strength training). They told me that if I can get to that before surgery it'll make it easier on my body to tolerate the surgery and heal afterwards so I'm working on it! I have about 14lbs left to lose to meet my pre-surgery goal. I've been very focused this past month and am losing steadily so I'm planning to continue what I've been doing and hope I can get there in time to have surgery sometime between Thanksgiving and Christmas (yeah, foooood season, but this is a life change and I'm ready to make the sacrifice ) Dietician appt this week. 2nd pre-op support meeting completed earlier this month, but I'll likely continue going until my surgery because I do find them useful. Next month they're taste testing Protein drinks, might be helpful I think I'm just about done with most of the pre-op stuff! Left to do before surgery: 2 months CPAP (started 9/22) 1 more counseling appt monthly check ins and support meetings 14 more lbs to go! It really does take longer than I thought it would to get all this done, and my insurance was very easy in the way that it doesn't require anything more than a high BMI. The requirements are all from the hospital. The sleep study was the longest process, I had to wait 6 weeks to get in there, another 2 weeks to get the study done, then another 5 weeks to go back in for the results (that was irritating, I was in there for 5 mins, they seriously could have just called me with the results), then another week to go pick up the CPAP. It's OK though. Until a few weeks ago I was still crazy with moving stress so honestly the timing was probably better this way. Now that Summer is over and Fall is here and I'm back in my long pants and sweatshirts (where I've always felt most comfortable - covering up as much of me as possible); I keep getting excited that by the time next Summer starts and we open the pool up I'll be 6 - 8 months post op with the possibility of being 75+lbs down. I can't even imagine what that's going to feel like, but I'm ready for it! Will I be able to spend my first Summer in years without carrying a sweater around for those times when I don't want my rolls and flabby parts on display???? I can't wait to see what happens between now and then! Off to do my 35 mins of exercise (ramping up to the 60 mins, 5 mins at a time as directed by the exercise counselor!)

I've got my 2nd monthly check in tomorrow. Done the sleep study (waiting on results), Upper GI (good), blood work, etc. All that is going well. My first check in, I only lost 3lbs in a month. I'm almost positive I gained that back this month, possibly more. I've been under a lot of unexpected stress and making bad choices, but I know that's no excuse. I should be more focused. Did anyone gain or maintain during pre-op like this and have a problem with the doc? I know all programs are different but I'm just curious. I'm scared they'll kick me out of the program. I'm supposed to lose 22lbs for my surgeon and since I started in June, I'm struggling big time. My insurance doesn't require anything specific, just the doc. Anyone? Sent from my Nexus 5 using the BariatricPal App

August 12, 2016 =========================== I have my first of two 3.5 hour lifestyle classes tomorrow. I did my at home sleep study this week (wasn't too bad), no results yet. They set me for a follow up in the 2nd week of September but I'm hoping they can at least call me with the results before then. My program requires 2 months with a CPAP prior to surgery if apnea is diagnosed and if I don't even start that until September my timeline will be pushed back at least a month past what I was hoping. But I'm still pushing forward. If I can get sleeved before my birthday that would be fantastic (mid-November) Coming up next: -Monthly check up next week -2 lifestyle classes -Dietician and exercise follow ups last week of September -At least one more support meeting (offered monthly) -Lose my pre-op weight I think that's it??? The weight loss is proving harder than I thought. The stress of moving has made me crave carbs, it's not good at all. I need to crack down big time. Summer was a bad time for me to start this process. I should have started back in February or something! Hindsight!

I'm actually moving closer to the surgeon and hospital, so nothing should change.We're only moving about 30 mins away from our current home.

July 20, 2016 ========================= Been a while since I updated! Lots has changed in the past month. We made the sudden decision to move right after my last post. So that was a stress I wasn't expecting. If all goes as planned we should be moved into the new house and town in another month. I'm nervous about this but trying to stay positive. One good thing is that I should be losing weight pretty quickly right about the time I get settled and start meeting people, so hopefully they will never know me as the fat mom. Kinda like a fresh start all around for all of us. I had my Upper GI, which showed normal results, and my first monthly follow up. I focused mostly on increasing Protein and moving more, so I didn't lose much but I am determined to lose about 8lbs before my next appt in Aug. Up next: sleep study consult end of July. Support meeting Aug, Sept, Oct. Lifestyle class August (3 hour class) Still hoping for a late Sept/early Oct surgery but we'll see how it goes. 18 lbs to go to my pre-surg weight goal!

June 24, 2016 ========================= My first set of appointments is complete. Nurse, dietitian, fitness evaluation. They did a body fat analysis at the fitness one, that was not a fun number to hear! But I'm on my way. I have a sleep study evaluation set for the end of July, lifestyle classes to be scheduled for August, and a couple follow ups along with monthly support meetings along the way. My surgeon's goal is for me to lose about 22lbs and hopefully line up surgery for October. This has been a busy week with all the "first" meetings. Now I just focus on moving more and eating less and making small changes to lead me in the right direction. Also trying different types of Protein drinks. I just bought the choc and vanilla Premier Protein since my local grocery store sells it and it's not bad. I'm used to Protein Drinks, and to me it tastes very similar to the Boost and ON Gold I've been drinking. 30G protein for 160 cals is good so I'm hoping I can tolerate the Splenda in it! (usually gives me a headache). Up next: Upper GI next week - hopefully they don't find anything. Reflux means VSG isn't necessarily the best option. I don't want bypass so fingers crossed on this one! Labs - Blood work as well as an H.Pylori screening Nurse follow up mid-July for weight check and progress monitoring Sleep study consult (to see if I should do one) near the end of July - if they do a study and find apnea I have to use CPAP for 2 months before surgery. Monthly support meetings until and beyond surgery Off to get my body moving. 22lbs to go!

June 18, 2016 =================== First nurse visit done! Next week: Dietician Fitness eval Scheduled: Upper GI July 1st 2nd nurse appt July 18th Monthly support meetings To schedule: sleep study 6 weeks lifestyle classes Mental health eval 4-6 months until I'm on the other side! Sent from my Nexus 5 using the BariatricPal App

June 15th, 2016 ======================= It's about to begin, for real. I have three appts over the next week - nurse, dietitian, fitness evaluation. I am getting excited, but nervous. Ready, but wishing there was another way I could do this and be successful. But after being overweight/obese for 25+ years, I'm being realistic and accepting that I can't do this alone. Drastic changes are necessary, and those changes are starting this week! EEK! This may be the last Summer I will live through as a morbidly obese woman!!!!! It's hard to imagine, but it's a very exciting prospect I cannot wait to see my body start to change

I can't tell you how much this statement resonates with me. I have never been thin, not since I was about seven years old. Being heavy is just part of who I am, and I have no idea how I am going to wrap my head around being thinner. I sent you a friend request. I am quite a bit behind you so far as the process goes, but maybe we can offer each other some support. I'm just getting started with the exception of the introduction meeting and intake paperwork, still haven't even met for my first doc appt (which is about 3 weeks from now, and then I have 3 within a week of each other!). I'm still nervous about changing. I don't want to change too much, but I know I will likely become more confident and self-assured. However, after a lifetime of being worried about what other people think, I might actually be OK with the boost in ego

5/23/16 ============================= Getting closer every day! Took some 'workout gear' before photos today, with stretchy pants and sports bra. Yuck! Sobering to see those photos. I've known for many many years that I am obese, but knowing I'm about to do something to really change it seems to be forcing me to see how I really look and how unhealthy all this fat is. Knowing that my body will change in ways I can't even imagine by this time next year is giving me hope that I won't forever hate my body. How did I let myself get to this point, over and over again? I am SO ready for this.

May 21, 2016 --------------------------------------- Took my kids to the local go-kart racing/golf/etc place today due to having some awesome weather. Last year, I could close the seat belt on the go-karts, it was tight but it closed. Not even close today, even though I weigh about the same. Maybe I didn't extend all the straps fully or something, but either way, there I was sitting (stuffed into the seat) next to my 10 year old, having to say "I don't think this is going to fit" Thankfully, they still let me ride with the straps over my shoulders, but how incredibly embarrassing. I cannot wait for this surgery. Next Summer will be amazing. For me and my family.

May 18, 2016 ------------------------------------ Sure do hate waiting! I have a month before my first 3 doc appts. Until then I just wait. I think there's a session I will attend in early June to cover one of the 2 required monthly support meetings, but otherwise I'm just waiting. I did go in and get my official start weight logged so I could work on making small changes and hopefully lose a few pounds before my first appointment but I was told at my weigh-in that I will have to stay above 40BMI until the surgeon appt (which is after all the other ones!!) to qualify with my insurance (I guess hypertension doesn't always work as a co-morbidity). I am about 25lbs from that mark so I have to be aware. I can't see myself losing more than that over the 3-4 month period of appts and such though. So probably won't be an issue. (although the doc requires about 22lbs loss pre-surgery so it's going to be close!!). Going to start by cutting out extra sugar and Snacks for now. Not going to go too crazy until I meet with the nutritionist next month. Wish I had done this earlier!!

I was trying to decide between two different programs and went to my second informational meeting last night - made the decision then and there to go with that program after seeing how much more detailed and involved they are with their patients both pre and post-op. They've done over 2K bariatric surgeries in the past 15 years, with almost 400 being sleeves. I like those numbers! SO I handed in my 20 pages of paperwork/history last night, put an insurance referral request in to my PCP when I got home, and await the call to set up my many appointments/classes/tests. Looks like they run about 4 - 6 months on average. My insurance is easy so it will mostly be the surgeon requirements- and since they'll require me to lose about 22 lbs before surgery, that will likely be a major factor in determining how long I'm in the pre-op process. I freaked out a little on the drive there last night. Knowing that this is finally going to happen. I'm finally DOING something solid with regards to my weight. I've been obese since I was 5. I'm 36 now. I can't believe that by this time next year, I have a real chance of not being obese anymore, with a real chance of staying in the "normal" range for life. I can't even imagine what it feels like to be a normal size. It's a bit terrifying, but exhilarating at the same time Yay!

Official starting weight is now on file! Time to get started on the 8% weight loss! (But I have to be careful, they won't submit until after I reach that goal and meet with the surgeon, and about 9% puts me under 40 bmi!!! And they didn't seem to think my hypertension - the only 'real' health issue I have - would count with my insurance as a co-morbidity if I drop below 40. Yikes!!). Sent from my Nexus 5 using the BariatricPal App

As a pre-sleever headed towards a September/October surgery, I find myself thinking about how things can/will be different at this time next year. My body and physical capabilities could change drastically in 8-9 months post-surgery. I'm excited!!! Some of the things I find myself thinking: - dealing with the heat (since I hate being exposed) I wonder if I'll finally be able to pull out the tank tops instead of grabbing the "light summer sweater" that covers my arms and tummy but isn't too heavy. But makes me hotter. Currently I'd rather be hot and covered. - will I be looking forward to those upcoming beach/swimming/kayaking days instead of worrying about being uncomfortable or looking ridiculous in my boat with my huge life vest? - swimsuits??? I currently wear a stomach-slimmer suit w/skirt and very rarely take off my sundress type coverup. Will I be happy in a normal suit next Summer?? Or at least in a suit without a coverup? - Will our annual Summer family camping be a more fun experience? Will air mattresses be more comfortable? So many thoughts running through my head. Gonna be a crazy year!!! Sent from my Nexus 5 using the BariatricPal App

I've done it in the past as well but it's been a while. Thanks!

Got the call a couple days ago that my referral info and application docs were all in place, and scheduled my first three doctor's appointments (physical, nutritional, fitness) but they aren't until the middle of June! I will be heading in sometime this or next week so they can get an official start weight so I can get started on the 8% weight loss they require. It seems that will be the most time consuming part so I want to get started asap. It's starting to feel real! Anyone use Weight Watchers to lose the pre-op weight? I've got MFP on my phone but I've been using it on and off for years (like, 5 years) so I wonder if I should do something different right now to kinda shake things up and help me drop these first 20lbs. Or maybe I should just stick with MFP since I'll have to use it to track Protein and stuff after - make it easier if I start paying closer attention to those details now and it won't be such a shift after surgery. Hmmm. Choices choices

May 6, 2016 Things I'm looking forward to: - not having to stretch out my shirt so it doesn't cling to my stomach rolls - shopping in stores instead of online at plus sized sites. Buying NICE jeans. Not just ones that fit. (And don't even fit well, at that - anything that fits my stomach leaves me with a baggy butt). - being able to participate in my kids activities without being afraid of embarrassing them with my lack of fitness and body jiggling (ick). Sent from my Nexus 5 using the BariatricPal App

I have hypothyroidism, so I'm quite used to losing hair and hope it doesn't bother me too much. I do take Biotin daily, have for years. I'll be interested to see how this particular thing affects me.

I've been overweight my entire life. There are very few people who have known me any other way, just family members (including my husband). who saw me basically starve myself to be thinner before a big event in high school. Other than that, I've been above 200lbs for the past 20 years, most of that closer to 250+. I have a few close friends I spend time with, and I consider myself a friendly person so in general people are kind to me and I can carry on a conversation with just about anyone. But I always get the feeling that they would rather be somewhere else (not the friends, the other people) - because who wants to be seen with one of the very few obese moms around (Small town - active town, I'm not kidding when I say I'm one of very few obese moms in my kids' groups, if not the entire town). I've always figured I was the 'safe bet' - no one is threatened by the fat girl. That could just be my own perception though, I've never had the highest self-esteem. I wonder how people will change how they treat me as I lose. I don't expect much different from my close friends, they are amazing and I love them all greatly. But those casual relationships. And I also wonder how new relationships will be different - first impressions and all. I also worry about my kids. I've ranged from 300lbs when my first child was born to about 225 five years ago, back up to 270 now. They've never seen me thin. Will it freak them out? I still haven't decided if I'll even tell them the gory details of the surgery, or just tell them a different reason for the hospital stay and recovery (hernia maybe?). They're still pretty young, they don't know how to keep things like that to themselves. Which I understand. But will me changing that drastically that quickly cause them distress? I know me staying overweight is likely to cause more problems for them, but I do still wonder how it will affect them. I'm hoping they'll be excited, that they'll be happy that I'm no longer the fattest mom on the sidelines. Not that they ever complain, but as they get older, it will only get harder for them. I don't plan to tell anyone other than my mom and husband about the surgery. I may decide to tell my ILs, but honestly they don't need to know so I figure it's my business. HOW do you keep it quiet? I'll be losing 100+ lbs in 1-2 years, after being fat so long. People will probably guess what I did. But how do I respond to those inquiries? Bah. Lots of changes coming my way in the next year. Kinda freaking out here! But also excited.

. Double post!

I also have this really cute pair of knee high boots that I just bought, but I don't really have any outfits that go well with them. They'd go really well with a knee or ankle length dress, but with my body shape dresses haven't been in my closet since I was a teenager. I really hope to be able to change that!

Yes!! I am SO looking forward to getting a slim fitting winter coat! Anything warm enough for our NH weather has to have a little bulk to it (even the more expensive materials from LL Bean or Lands End are bulky when you have to buy it in a size 3x!). I always feel like I'm walking like a sumo wrestler when I wear mine I have a couple smaller sizes in the closet I hope to use to get me through next Winter since I'll only be a few months post-op, but when I get close to my goal I will SO be buying a nice, flattering coat.

I find myself looking at cute sundresses, tank tops, and fancy dresses that I have never been able to wear due to having a weird shaped stomach that just doesn't look good in anything form fitting in any way. I cannot wait to be able to shop for the things I really want!! I don't want to spend my life buying 'whatever fits'.

April 30th =================== I've been considering and researching surgery for 2 years, decided to go ahead with it back in February. But, I had a Disney vacation scheduled for this past week (first time we took the kids!) and knew I wanted to be able to fully enjoy the vacation without worrying about anything before getting things officially started. I wasn't horrible about the food, but I definitely ate more (and more Desserts and such) in general than I usually do. Thankfully we walked miles every day and I drank a ton of Water in addition to the Snacks, indulgent meals, and a few fancy drinks throughout the week. We got back this morning, and on Monday I have my informational seminar. I already have the paperwork and list of requirements; I plan to get my PCP referral in place and get all my tests and appointments scheduled this week. I didn't have any major weight-related issues on vacation, besides being really really hot and sweaty (but it was 90 degrees and I live in New England where we're still in the 60s for high temps, so I guess that wasn't unreasonable ) . One day I almost got sick due to the heat. I'm sure part of that was due to lugging around an extra 125lbs of fat. My knees and ankles are pretty angry right now, too; again I'm sure due to the extra weight. Thankfully, I fit on all the rides I wanted to, no problem on the plane (I was really worried about getting asked to buy a second ticket but I fit in the seat no problem and even had extra belt to spare, whew!). BUT, I have about 300 pictures and hate the way I look in about 75% of them. The ones I do like, I'm hiding behind my kids. I am so ready to move forward with the next chapter of my life - the "healthy" chapter! I'm beyond excited to see what the next year brings Oh, and I also bought a souvenir shirt, but in a size large instead of my current size (2x/3x). I am hoping I'll be able to wear it by next Summer! It's thin material, and very cute. Nothing I've been able to wear in the past and been comfortable. I can't wait until it fits! Sent from my Nexus 5 using the BariatricPal App