PaulaB72

Just let her know. About your surgery, But tell her you already made up your mind.
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a week before my surgery a coworker (very small office) had her cousin die in the hospital immediately following WLS.
I did not have the health issues he had and it didn't worry me. I was far more concerned that obesity would take my life than this surgery.
However, that being said, anytime I have ever had surgery I did review my will and documents, just in case. I have children, one still a minor, and I think that is just being responsible. I didn't expect to die, but I didn't want to leave anything unclear.

4 hours is a long time to sit......Make sure you get up and move around a little to avoid DVTs. Maybe wear some compression knee high socks.

Egg muffins (crustless quiche muffins). Just pop one in microwave for a few seconds and you're good. You can make different kinds with any veggies or meat combos.

Easy way out, ha! Tell him to not eat for two weeks and be emotional and see if he still thinks that!
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Honestly the biggger risk to your life is being overweight. The surgery is a minor risk compared to everything that comes with being overweight.
You will be fine and you will do great

He's scared, and he's taking a hamfisted approach to telling you he's scared. You're both scared.
Which is completely to be expected.
That said, that doesn't make his words or his approach anything like helpful. Is it possible for the two of you to sit down calmly and talk about what each of you is scared of? OK, he's scared of losing you. and you're scared of everything that comes along with staying obese.
It's your body, and your decision - which is hard for a lot of spouses to accept, because it's a life-changing decision that will change their lives, too.
It's downright mean to use some of the words he's used, however "didn't try hard enough". As if! "Easy way out" As if!
I hope you can work this out together.

Ok finally sent an email to both the insurance lady and the manager. Told them I needed a date by the 29th of april. And that I have told them repeatedly how much of a time crunch I'm under. My insurance coordinator emailed back saying it's out of her hands..... then about an hour later the manager emailed me back and apologized and said she will absolutely call me by the end of the week. I sure hope she does.
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I think that's a great thing. I am five months postop and I do not weigh myself. Not once a day, not once a week, not even once a month. I get Wade when I go to the surgeons office, and the rest of the time I track my Weight loss with non-scale victories. My clothes are literally falling off my body, compliments from people who haven't seen me in a few weeks or months or so, and my own felt sense of the boundaries of my body getting smaller.
I decided to do this from the beginning because I didn't want life after surgery to feel like a diet, because every diet I've ever been on has either failed me or otherwise been on sustainable. That is why I needed the surgery to begin with. Since weight-loss surgery is a permanent alterations have the anatomy, it's the long ball Game that really counts. I do not need to know what I weigh from day to day. I just need to see a steady decline in my weight over time, and I am definitely definitely seeing that.

Hi Kitty!
Sorry to hear you are having a rough time. I hear that it is common for people to be on an emotional rollercoaster after surgery. Losing weight releases hormones and can make you emotional.
I've battled with anxiety my whole life. I've been on Zoloft for a few years and that helps a lot. The doctors let me stay on it and even take Ativan when needed (haven't needed it) during this surgery process.
Sometimes I have thoughts about my long term future and get worried (will I ever be able to eat normal again, will I ever be able to have a drink socially again, OMG what's gonna happen to my skin? Am I going to look worse with all that skin?). Anyways...when I have those thoughts, I just redirect myself to the present. So far everything has gone great. Is this surgery/situation ideal? No! Of course I envy skinny people who never "ruined" their bodies in the first place and don't have to go through this. But you know what, we did, for whatever reason. But we have chosen better for our futures and took a huge courageous step. I'm very proud of myself for making this commitment and having the courage to do this. Just take it one step at a time and enjoy those numbers going down on that scale!!
Feel free to contact me anytime. I'm in the same boat and I'm a therapist, so I'm a good listener.
Keep your chin up!!

Fitbit Blaze, love it so far. Have had it 2 months now. I wish it were waterproof, my only quibble.

All your empolyer gets is a statement from your surgeon (in advance of your absence) saying that you will be physically unable to work from Day Y to Day X. Period.
When you return, that same doctor gives you a Return to Work clearance stating you may return to work and any restrictions, if there are any (e.g., no lifting X 3 weeks) or "no restrictions" if there are none.
That's it. No HIPAA violations.

Also:

Don't listen to "Negatives"... If you sit there listening to reasons why you should sit and stay fat and unhealthy then so be it..but if you are trying to take control of your health and life in order to "live" then step forward.
This is the main reason I didn't choose to divulge...too many Dr.Phil's without a clue.

I have the same history. I have the sleeve. I have lost 30 pounds and stopped for two weeks (actually gain 3 pounds loose 3 pounds for two weeks). but I just sat and entered my food from all weekend today- into my thing I log it on/ and I am *not* eating enough to gain any FAT. so it has to be different, it will pass.
I did try on a pair of jeans this weekend that 6 months ago I could not pull up - two weeks ago were probably 2 inches from buttoning and they fit perfectly now. So, things are changing and that will have to be enough of a victory for this week.
keep going, one day at a time.

I don't think people mind being told the truth... But some have been pretty mean with their truths. Makes me nervous to post on here sometimes.
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I don't think people mind being told the truth... But some have been pretty mean with their truths. Makes me nervous to post on here sometimes.
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It's not who you love, but how you love that matters.

Seeking the correct tilt so that it rolls off one's back is one way to cope. On your behalf, though, I want to take a quiet, matter-of-fact tone to confront your father with his conduct. "Dad, you take such pleasure in undermining [demeaning...belittling...thwarting...et al.] me. You're a master." "Do you think you could belittle me just a little less?" "Do you think you can be a little less hateful?" With so many possibilities, it's hard to choose.
It's common for a parent to adopt the behavior of his own parent, but it doesn't mean he has no accountability. Dementia is an excuse. I can't think of any others at the moment.
Grrr.

Every morning at 10 am call your doctor's office and ask if the paperwork has been faxed in. If they say yes, call the insurance company and ask them. If insurance says no, call your doctor's office back.
The squeaky wheel gets the surgery date.

Every morning at 10 am call your doctor's office and ask if the paperwork has been faxed in. If they say yes, call the insurance company and ask them. If insurance says no, call your doctor's office back.
The squeaky wheel gets the surgery date.

While certainly there are times that constructive criticism is requested and/or due, I can also agree that sometimes the scolding tone that some people take is a little much. No one is perfect, and no one likes being talked down to.

I really think he's asking the right questions. Like I said before, there have been people who put more thought into buying a car.
I had the same concerns. It just took me actually having the surgery to finally see the light.
Some "get it", some don't and never will. For the latter, the results of the surgery will sadly be only temporary.

Wait a minute.......you are a grandma and you dad's comments are still throwing you for a loop? Yeah, you gotta let it roll off and let him know that you are not going to discuss your weight or health - period. Now what else do you want to talk about, Dad.

@@gowalking -- Well that was rude and mean. And vicariously pisses me off. I think I'm channeling some old scripts with my ex. She knew my old wounds and could reopen them faster than anyone else. Thankfully she is so far out of my life that her aim is completely off.

LOL I JUST WENT POO!! Woo hoo!!! How funny! It was small but I'll take that! My first poo after VSG! HAHAHA