DeletedMember

You're welcome. I truly hope you get relief from a cortisone shot for your hip if you chose that route. It really is the only thing preserving my sanity until I can have it replaced. I'm also sure whichever surgery you chose will work for you. There are a lot of challenges, but there are lots of challenges with obesity too. I've lost 90 lbs since I started this process in February, half of it since surgery on 3/21. I am almost completely off my blood pressure meds (should be 100% off within a couple of weeks), and will be in a MUCH better place for my joint replacement surgeries.

No, not really. But mostly because the severe pain is in my hip and and Advil never really helped my hip anyway. Might be a different story if my knees were killing me because it does help my knees. But my knees are actually a little better due to the drop in weight. 2 months out and no regrets so far. I've been pretty lucky. It's tough, but it's working how it's designed.

I would have hoped she would answer in a way that didn't disclose I had surgery. A couple of examples would be "He's eating less and doing more, that's the only way I know of to lose weight." Or, "He's just following his doctors plan". Or something along those lines. Or she could be more direct and say "wow, I'm really surprised you'd ask such a personal medical question, how about we discuss your last gynecological exam instead". Really, there are lots of ways to answer that question besides "Yes". Especially since this had already become an issue in our relationship prior to this. And I did tell my children and both our parents so she definitely had people to talk to about this should she have a need to discuss it with someone.

The first time(s) it was just "I'm sorry, I don't know why I did that. I apologize." The second time it was "They asked me point blank if you had surgery. I wanted to be upfront about it. I figured it was ok." When I told her it was not ok she said "Well, then, I guess I screwed up again." I didn't even get an apology with the second one. In fact, she told me I was going to have to tell her exactly what to say since she obviously didn't know what to say. Basically putting it back on me as my responsibility to give her specific words to say for any scenario. Sort of irrelevant now as essentially everyone knows.

I can totally relate. I very specifically asked my wife to NOT share with anyone. I was very adamant and clear. Then she went and told pretty much everyone I see on a regular basis. I was very upset, and it definitely caused issues at our house. There was literally only one set of friends she didn't tell. Then, about 2 weeks after this all blew up, she went and told those people as well. I am beyond upset. I think betrayal is a very adequate word for what I feel. It's less about the fact that people know. In the end, it's not that big of deal if people know. But I didn't ask my wife not to share because it was a big deal. I asked her not to share because I am a very private person and don't want everyone knowing my business. It's a betrayal because I very clearly asked the person closest to me in life to respect me and my wishes about my medical issues. She agreed, then she violated that trust over and over and over. It has become a trust issue. If you can't trust someone to not share what you explicitly ask them not to share, how can you trust they show any discretion around things you don't specifically ask them not to share. Even going to a therapist to work this out, I have no faith she isn't sharing everything I say in therapy to everyone I know. And to feel like me asking her not to doesn't really make any difference, it certainly didn't in this case. Yeah, betrayal is an accurate term.

I can completely relate. I had a BMI of 50, and I need both knees replaced as well as my left hip. I lived on Advil, and the thought of living without it terrified me. In the end, I went with the RNY (I also had GERD and could imagine having it get possibly worse with the sleeve). My doctor agreed that RNY was probably best for me, although said either surgery was an option. My doctor does says occasional use is "ok", but I am 2 months post op and have not used it at all, and do not plan to (unless some amount is required after joint replacement surgery) I find my knee pain is actually better (not gone by any stretch, but better). I can actually walk down the stairs without using the wall/handrails for the first time in a very long time. The hip pain is no better, and causes me great pain, although the Advil never did help my hips very much (helped the knees though). To address your comment about the cortisone shots, I also had them a couple of times in my knees and found they did not help at all. That being said, they help my hip TREMENDOUSLY, so you may consider giving it a shot (pun intended). My pain is virtually gone for a good month, and I get solid pain relief for 2+ months. Unfortunately, I'm only allowed to get them every four months, so for the last 4-6 weeks I am in a ton of pain and have a lot of difficulty sleeping. I'm sure my next suggestion will prove to be very controversial, but if you live in a state that allows it, have you considered Medical Marijuana? MM has shown to be effect as a pain reliever as well as an anti-inflammatory, both key to treating arthritis. I believe chronic pain/arthritis is a qualifying condition in almost all states where it's legal. It is also much safer than opiates to treat pain. I know people often have strong opinions on MM, but something you may want to consider if you're open to it. Also, it does not have to be smoked, as it can be ingested. There are also non-psychoactive strains available that have very low THC and high CBD, which will allow you to avoid "getting high", but may still offer some relief (CBD is known have anti-inflammatory effects).

Add my name to the list of those that are ready to get to maintenance and stop answering questions. That being said, there is no winning for people when dealing with individuals who are losing a lot of weight. You can see it right in this thread. Some people are offended when people comment or ask questions. Some people are offended when no one says anything. It's sort of a damned if you do, damned if you don't scenario. I will say, I believe everyone who has commented on my weight loss, or asked questions has seemed genuinely supportive and curious. I've also had a number of people seek me out to get more information on how I'm eating as they are trying to lose weight themselves. There was one comment that I found interesting. Someone asked me how much I had lost, and when I told them it was about 85 lbs they said "Wow, really? Where the heck did you put all that weight". I certainly wasn't offended as I'm sure it was intended as a compliment (as in, it's hard to believe you lost THAT much because you don't look like you were carrying around an extra 85 lb!), but it reinforced my own perception that although the scale number is big, I don't feel like I look like I've lost that much. But ultimately, that's about me, not them. And let's be honest, if they said "no way, you have to have lost WAY more than that!" it could have been construed as offensive as well.

I am from metro Detroit. I had RNY surgery on 3/21 with Dr. Weiner out of Huron Valley Hospital. I was also over 50 BMI, so 6 month diet was waived. It was 6 weeks from first visit on Feb 9th until surgery on March 21st. I have been extremely happy with Dr Weiner. I'm down a total of 90 lbs. 46 lbs in the 6 weeks prior to surgery and 44 lbs in the 8 weeks since surgery.

What @@LipstickLady said. Mine also used my weight at the initial weigh-in. I had a BMI of just over 50, so I had to no supervised diet but I used the 6 weeks between my first appointment and surgery to begin eating how my doctor wants me to eat long term. I was able to lose 46 lbs in those 6 weeks and am SO HAPPY I did. I have lost another 44 lbs in the 8 weeks since my surgery, so I don't feel the initial weight loss slowed me down at all. And I am so much happier being down a total of 90 lbs than I would be if I was down 44lbs overall. Plus it just makes the surgery easier. As an added bonus, given how much weight I had lost, my doctor waived the 2 week pre-op liquid diet.

I think it's interesting that people are looking for proof that is DOESN'T stretch your sleeve/pouch as opposed to proof that it DOES? Isn't that a bit backwards? I can't find any articles that prove Water doesn't stretch my sleeve/pouch, or that cottage cheese doesn't, etc, etc. but nobody seems to be avoiding those things. Just an observation. If someone tells me putting orange juice on my feet makes them smell better I don't generally go looking for articles that prove orange juice does not make my feet smell better, and in the absence of those articles assume it to be true. Not looking for a fight, just think it's an odd way of approaching research.

I told just a few people. My wife and kids, my mother/siblings and my in-laws. Everyone has been supportive, but my wife and family just do not have the capacity to keep their mouths shut. Instead of telling nobody as I asked them to, they have literally told every single person I see in a regular basis, even the lady that cleans my house. It makes me extremely angry that they betrayed me. My main motivation for keeping it secret was to avoid the constant interrogation. I know people ask because they care, but I get tired of saying the same things over and over. And that is exactly what is happening. Every time I see anyone, I get 100 questions. It's exhausting.

My doc recommends 60g of protein for men, and 50g for women. And 64oz of fluids. His recommendations are about the lowest I've seen on these forums.

If you are still looking for what doctors say that don't buy into the "carbonation stretches the stomach" here is what my doctor has to say about it (and some other myths): http://drmatthewweiner.com/bariatric-surgery-myths/ That being said, he is VERY anti pop of any sort. As to the comment the poster made above about Protein drinks. He also hates those, but sees them as a necessary evil until you can replace them with good food based protein.

Staying warm!

I don't know what GNC outside of the US carries, or their policies, but in the US it is a good place to get Protein drinks and powders. Their policy is that you can return anything, and I have returned a lot as I was sampling drinks/powders. I tend to stick with Isopure ready made drinks. They are a Gatorade-like Protein Drink. They are 20oz each and have 40g of protein. It has zero carbs and 169 calories. It's not great, but tolerable. Everyone has different tastes. Oh, and I'm curious. Where are you from?

The orange one isn't bad. The apple melon is a bit too strong for me. Same with the blue raspberry. Those 2 aren't bad just a lot less subtle than the grape and orange.

My blood pressure crashed at about the same time (95/40). I actually was terrified and thought Something was horribly wrong with me. It was awful. Cut down to a fraction of my meds (under dr supervision of course) and felt 100% better within 48 hours.

Sketchers all have a lot of arch support, which really helps. All of my shoes are Sketchers now. Work shoes, casual shoes, athletic shoes. Everything except my crocs which I just wear around the house for support. By doing that, I haven't had a flare up in years.

Saving tons the first 6 weeks. My family and I used to go out for almost every meal. Now there is no point in me going out, so my wife just makes quick meals for her and my daughter when it is convenient for them (no need to wait for me to get home from work to eat). I would estimate we were buying 25+ meals at restaurants a week for the 3 of us. Now we maybe buy 5 meals out a week. That's a massive savings.

I had crushing headaches post surgery for about a week or so. Nothing helped the pain. Then they just stopped. Hopefully yours will as well.

She is referring to Ghrelin. It's a hormone produced in your stomach that makes you feel hungry. In a sleeve they remove the part of your stomach that produces the bulk of Ghrelin, so for a period of time you will most likely not be hungry. In an RNY bypass, your stomach is still there but produces significantly less ghrelin as that portion of your stomach is not receiving any food and this somehow lowers Ghrelin production. I had RNY, and whatever the biological reason behind it, I can assure you I feel no hunger. I'm 5 weeks post op and have not felt even a touch of hunger. Occasional cravings, yes, but even those cravings are manageable because I know there is literally NO WAY I could eat what I'm actually craving without getting very sick.

I suppose what is healthy and what is not is as debatable as anything else. I feel Pasta and rice are extremely unhealthy in the fact that they are packed with refined carbs and calories and offer no real nutrients. A chicken breast has about 150 calories, so even if you ate 4 chicken breasts 3 times a day, that's 1800 calories. And that's a lot of food!! But again, I'm really just trying to help, not to argue. You know what you eat better than anyone. As far as Dr. Weiner goes, I really like him and trust him so I follow his plan. There are certain things like carbonated beverages and straws that are always debated, but generally there are a lot of people that fall on both sides of the argument. From my opinion, the thing that he believes that is the biggest hot button out here is his views on Protein. I see a lot of people that think 90g is a minimum and that 100g+ is better. Dr. Weiner feels 60g is enough for a male and 50g for a female. That upsets people on the forum. He also believes long term in "veggies first" as opposed to the oft repeated mantra of "protein first". He believes in protein first when you are starting out only. But like I said, I follow my doctors plan. Others should absolutely follow their doctors. I think where people get in trouble is when they start mixing and matching. A lot of people limit carbs and take in more fat via dairy. I will end up eating more carbs than most as Beans and fruit will be a large part of my diet. I think both plans could work. But if I follow my diet and then think "well, those people eat a lot of dairy, so I can too" well now I'm eating more carbs than most and eating more dairy/fat than I'm supposed to. That could of spell trouble. I always advise people to follow their doctors program.

With all due respect, and I truly mean that, I believe you are in denial about your eating habits largely based on this statement: Nobody has ever gotten to 440 pounds by overeating healthy food. I don't pretend to know you, or know how you eat, but if you have been eating gigantic portions of vegetables, fruit and lean Protein sources you would not be super morbidly obese. You just wouldn't be. Interestingly, you posted a video from Dr. Weiner who happens to be my surgeon. He does not even believe in calorie counting. He always wants you to be satisfied, and feels if you are truly hungry you should eat. He also advocates eating a minimum of a pound of vegetables daily, preferably 2 pounds. Prior to surgery I followed his diet for 6 weeks and lost 45 pounds. And I was never hungry. In fact, I often couldn't even finish all the food I brought with me to work. The reason I bring this up, is that if you are telling yourself you became obese from overeating healthy foods, you are not being honest with yourself. If you are not being honest with yourself about that, how honest are your going to be with yourself about eating bad foods in "moderation"? I myself started at 333, and I was not a binge eater, I was not an emotional eater, and I often ate healthy food. But I got obese because I ate large portions at every meal and most of what I ate was terrible. Sure, I'd have a chicken breast for dinner, but I'd also have a monster side of stuffing or Pasta. And maybe going out for a huge, decadent ice cream after. Did I fit the stereotype of the morbidly obese? Maybe not, but I ate crappy and got myself to this point. I do believe my body is a lot more sensitive to processed food than thin people and after many years of dieting I know I need a lower than normal calories amount to maintain my weight. But I also know I didn't get here by eating too many vegetables. I hope this is taken in the way it's intended. As someone who cares and is concerned. But I think you will be best served taking a hard, honest look at your behaviors. And be willing to accept major changes going forward. It's not that you can't ever eat a slice of pizza again. But you do need to completely change your relationship with food. This surgery is an amazing tool to help you do that if you are committed to it.

That's an interesting perspective. I am happy I had surgery, the weight is coming off, I'm getting rid of co-morbidities, and feeling better. But I feel more of a slave to food than ever. I never stressed about food before (unless dieting). Now I am constantly planning my daily food because if I don't stay on it I can't get enough of my requirements in. I also can eat almost nothing, so it's very frustrating. Interesting how people's experience differ so much.

Not sure about you employment situation, but after being out sick for more than a few days, many HR departments ask for medical clearance to return to work. More than anything it's for legal coverage. If you are out that long they don't want you to return in an unhealthy state and they end up liable. It's not a big deal, I'm sure your surgeon would write a note saying you were under his care and are cleared for a return to work. Just wanted you to be aware that could happen.