Dutchgrl59

Hey Gang, I've been missing just like Darcy has and for the the very same reasons -- the ex and I had a major fight this last Friday (9/28) and I had to stop and lick my wounds. Every since I lost my girlfriend of 30 years, lost my job and now support money for daycare I have been depressed and lost. Hey, don't worry..... I don't stay there long but have to stop a minute and regroup. I went back to my divorce and grief recovery group and they meet on Thursday nights and then after the horrible fight friday night I decided to attend a Singles group outing with a church singles group. I mainly did that so that I wasn't cooped up in the house stewing about my troubles. And then yesterday I went to the singles bible study. Darcy: I feel your pain and I Soooooo want your mediation to go well. God speed with the judge and any decision that is made. Hugs. My lapband and I are still a team. Haven't gained or lost but I did skip a dr appt. I am very strapped for cash, can't afford the gasoline nor the lecture about fills. I was approved for unemployment and those checks will help immensely. Praise God all my Chistmas gifts(for the most part) have been purchased. My over planning has paid off big time I still have computer problems and don't turn on my computer everyday. I believe I need to completely erase my whole drive and start again. Please keep my Dell in you prayers. I miss everyone and really glad my Disney friends had a blast on vacation. God Bless everyone.

Good Afternoon everyone, Greetings to Pat..... who came by to say hello. Where ya been?? I was pacing the halls yesterday.... just edgy. I really don't like being unemployed and I'm struggling with all that. My Ex has gone MIA and I don't know where he is. Won't answer at home, work or 2 cell phones. He is supposed to have visitation tonite, but my gut says he's not gonna show. Thats really bad for the kids and I'm none too happy with situation. Plan B is to have dinner set up and a devertion for the boys in case Dan dumps them tonite. I hate this. Anywho.... I made some phone calls yesterday and I signed up for a Divorce & grief workshop at the Crystal Cathedral. I did this 3 yrs ago and need the support again. The boys can babysit themselves and with cell-phone in purse I got dolled up and went. Met some familar faces and new ones, but mostly felt better for having the courage to face my fears. I have been fighting the blues for 3 weeks and though the turn around isn't instant I was able to get up this morning, drop off kids and get to chores in quicker time. It was the sittin around that was killing me. I'm feeling better and I wanted to share that. I don't have any solid plans for the weekend -- don't know if I get the boys or not. Maybe I'll drop in on my monthly Disney meeting -- they are always fun people to hang with! See ya! :waytogo:

Sorry that I haven't been around for almost a week.... my computer got a virus. Just after I posted my long sad story the screen enlarged to the point that I lost the toolbar and couldn't log off. I admit that I'm not 100% computer literate and maybe in my attempt to troubleshoot my problem I must of done something but before I knew it I was getting messages about virus attacks then the pop-ups started. First 17 for Macys store then the girlie photos and then couples doing -- you know what! I freaked and shut the whole machine down. I left it for 4 days. Turned it back on then more graphic junk. I was guilt ridden.... what had I done?? I finally called my Mom and cried my eyes out. Why Me? Not only was my computer infected but I don't know zip about asking for help. Will I be judged for sites and pictures that I didn't visit? I finally called my EX who really is a nice guy.... bad husband, nice guy. In tears I explained what I did and didn't do. He came over and installed "spybot" and it immediately found 167 virus things. We zapped those. We ran it again and it found 14. We zapped those. I have run it 2 more times and each time there is less. My computer is still a bit sluggish and I still get pop ups for some slimy dating service. I won't be turning on the computer with the boys in the house -- not until everything is clean and clear. At the beginning of this I wasn't sleeping and I haven't been overeating....no P/B's, I haven't lost weight but just maintaining. I need you guys to help me thru this time and am really glad that I'm not working. Mom says that I should collect unemployment and just enjoy the kids this holiday season. I agree with her. The thoughtful note about SSI for the kids..... been there, done that. Lewis doesn't qualify unless he is in the hospital and it's too much hassle. I need to be stress free. I'd rather stand in a food line, there I won't be turned down. So, I'm hanging in there girlies. Today I will be getting fried chicken, making green beans( a la patty) and baking brownies for a picnic at the Aquarium of the Pacific.... they are having what they call "Shark Nights". They stay open late and have a surfer band for members tonite. Cool. Hoping this will set the tone for a pleasant weekend. Hugs,

Morning Everyone..... I have not so good news. (long post) I quit my job yesterday, it was that or get fired and ruin my personnel file. There is SO much I want to say and can't completely process whats happening to me. My desire to have a lapband has come with such an enormous price tag.... truely not an exaggeration. The year that I spent fighting with the insurance company and then hiring an attorney was hundreds of dollars and when COBRA ran out I was distraught. My dr just recently looked up my blood pressure stats; 176/78 much too high. I know that things at work weren't ideal and that my principal was a @$*&% but what could I do? I made a mistake in caring for a broken arm and since I wasn't trained I didn't feel that it was all my fault. My principal, instead of protecting me took every opportunity to throw daggers my direction. By March I was completely insane with worry for my job, my surgery, eviction and dealing with daily caring for my kids with just pennies in my bank acct. When I got appoved for my loan I was really hoping that life would settle down -- NO WAY. It was a gamble to take out $17,000. I have to pay back 225. a month for 5 years! (except now I don't have the district job) Anyway I took the checks to the Obesity center and they gave me a May 14th date.... except my blood pressure was SO high that they threatened to cancel it twice. When I called my Mom she tells me that on May 15th shes committed to go to Hawaii and unfortunately can't help me after surgery. I tell my best friend Lynne. She takes the day off but surgery isn't perfect and it takes 14hrs for recovery. When I get home that night at 11pm she tells me that she can't spend the night.... what could I say? She visits me every other day to see how I'm doing but she is distant. By day 5 she leaves town to be with her ex and I am lonely and in pain. When she returns home she tells me that she told the town gossip and a girl at work about my surgery -- I asked that my surgery remain confidential. I tried to stop the gossip at work but when I returned to work from my medical leave this is what happened: Lynne my 30 yr friend told Maggie (they both work at Meairs school) who told Robin at Stacey School who told Joan(this is robins Mom) and a teacher at Hayden(my work) I asked Joan how do you know this?? I haven't told anyone..... but I did and now my entire district was gonna watch me lose weight and I was on stage. I just ached inside. After a week I told my girlfriend how hurt I was and that "I felt like dying" a totally normal phrase when you've been blindsided and the following day I got a "dear john" letter. "Patty, I feel we should no longer be friends, I don't want to be responsible for hurting yourself. I know this is a delicate time in your life. I am very proud of you for getting healthy. I was just bragging the truth. I wish you good luck." Good bye. The next day when I got to work I was put on administrative leave. I never finished the school year -- that was on June 13th. Stunned and disbelieving are only 2 words I could use. What a nightmare. I was told that I didn't lose my job, so This last tuesday I came in to prep for the year..... waiting for me was someone from personnel and a union rep. They gave me options and they weren't pretty. I know I must sound like a drama queen but thats not ME. I just wanted my surgery to feel better, and to better mother my sweet kids. I don't want celebrity and I thought I had friends and honest compassion. I had neither. I just bared my soul and if I kept it in any longer it was gonna eat me alive. I'm OK with my job resignation. A job doesn't define me. Its an adjustment and feels really weird. Hey, thanks for listening. It's been a long hard 18months and the journey isn't over yet. Gotta run, blockbuster is calling.... Ciao!

EARTHQUAKE We just had a 4.7 earthquake at 10:29 and a 2.5 quake at 10:31! Rockin and rollin in So Cal -- woot! The kids didn't even feel it but I got that woozy rolling feeling and yup we had one :bounce: it took a few minutes for my heart to return to normal. I've lived thru a couple of real bad ones and I still get spooked. Hey, I have some great news.... My Moms biopsy was NEGITIVE for cancer and I'm praising God for answered prayer. She went to work this morning and we're in the middle of a heatwave and all is well. Mandy: Your post was so uplifting. I want a build-a-bear.... all my kids have one or two and I've never gotten one for myself. Downtown Disney 's locations is the largest store created. We had Garrett's B-day there once, it was super fun. I'll take you there next year. How's your healing? Take it slow but steady. I'm on my way to a BBQ. My friend Patty(yeah we have the same name) is having a birthday/pool party this afternoon. The last hoorah before school next week. Catch you guys later.

Congratulations Jennigan, Welcome to bandland. Sounds like you've made a great transition and drinking your isopure. Me too! And that thing about losing hair -- I pull out handfuls per day, theres no way around it.... part of the process. Also a belated congrats to Elaine. You "twins" are gonna be the best of friends. By Christmastime you both will be HOT Happy Hugs,

Cheri, Are you the gal that cried at the Cracker Barrel when you were first banded??? Then, please update on what happened since last june. Did you get the fill and how do you feel? Hi, this is Patty, been following you from the early days. I finally got my band -- paid for it myself and in debt to my eyeballs. I'm 3 months almost 4 months out and slowly losing..... slow but steady. Dropped a ring size and clothing wonderfully loose. I had the best summer of my life. I too work in a school district. School begins Sept 5th, I'm the Health aid for 800 kids. Hope to hear from you.

Ohhh, Kat, You have been through Soooo much. I am angry that the lab tech didn't listen to you and that you barfed on her.... she deserved it!:girl_hug: If the world would just listen, I'm very happy that your headache is gone. Do you still plan to have a new scan? Many thanks for my best friends ever! :kiss2: I'm smiling and happy once again and you are all such a great support. The gentlman that made that stupid remark was totally all about himself and I wasn't getting a positive vibe from him anyway. No love lost. I took the kids out for a TacoBell meal before school starts and I didn't finish the item I ordered. I eat less than my kids do these days. That feels good. Anyway, Today is the first day of Westminster High and I got up before the alarm, set on the coffee and woke up the twins. I had baked cookies last night and our tradition is that I make lunch the first 3 days. I stuffed in extra cookies so that the boys could share. So, we are off and running. My younger ones are still asleep and I get to spend some extra Mommy time with them. We return to school/work Sept 5th. I have a prayer request. My Mom(73) just had a breast biopsy yesterday. She fully described the whole procedure to me -- gasp! She wasn't in any pain and now we have to wait for results next week. She doesn't have a lump that she can feel, this was discovered on her mammogram and when they called they told her they have been watching this calcified growth and this year it changed and they wanted to biopsy it. I don't have any exprience with this. I don't know any friends, enemies, sisters, cousins no one that have gone thru this(I know that sounds very strange, but its true). I kinda don't know what to feel. I love my Mom, she's my only living parent. I'm a little frightened, unsure. So, I guess you all, get to hold my hand thru this next thing. Hmmm, the little monsters decided to wake, gotta feed them.

Johanna & Wenjea, Me too but I think it's OK. When I went to my support group we talked about plateaus and what they mean. The scale won't move until our bodies adjust to the recent weight loss. Lapbanders will have WAY more plateaus or leveling off periods than bypass people who just drop handfuls of weight and change 6-10 sizes when it all comes to a screeching halt. They way we are doing it, we have a chance to let our skin rest alittle bit and wrap our heads around the change before we change again. This totally explains why I didn't have my TOM in july. Everything is back to normal again and I dropped another lb -- yeah!

Kat: A vegetable garden and canning.... how cool. OK, let me explain. Years ago I read all about canning in a book called "the tightwad gazette". Over a period of time I gathered all the equipment, but without a garden all my efforts fall short. My dream house would be an old farmhouse with lots of rooms for my brood, a larger kitchen to prepare all those meals and occasionally can my own garden produce. Oh, yeah.... I want chickens too! OK, call me a Laura Ingalls wanna-be, but I can make my own bread :confused: Mandy: When is your trip? 80% off swimwear... what a deal! OK guys, I need some encouragement. At that luncheon yesterday I was told that I'm really not a lapbander because I have never had a fill. I don't understand how the band works and until you have a fill you aren't part of this secrect club. Remember when I told you all that I don't want a fill and that I felt wonderful with my weight loss and restriction as it is today..... well someone just went and squashed all my happy thoughts. I won't let someone dictate my life by any means but that sure flustered me for a brief moment and then it got me angry. I like you guys alot, and you would never say such hurtful things to me. I just wanted to tattle a bit. OK, I'm thru bitching, gonna head to Disneyland and forget my cares for a while.

So, Chris is feeding Sherry macaroni & cheese...... like when did that happen? When did you guys have a potluck? Today, I went to a lunch thing with some local lapband folks here in Orange County and we all talked for a few hours. Much more informative that what the hospital offers. I'm still processing what we all talked about..... nothing comes to mind about what to share. Darcy: dying to know whats bugging the ex. I came down HARD on my ex for leaving the boys alone for 6 hours while I was on medical leave. His excuse "things took alittle longer than expected"...... jerk. It just gets me all riled up. Hmmmm, just realized it's after midnight -- nighty, night.

Jenni, Yes, the Isopure is considered a clear liquid, which makes it the perfect food post op. I just noticed that surgery for you is this Monday. Well, before I forget...... Good Luck, I'll be praying for you :clap2:. My best tips are to drink(to keep hydrated and to cleanse your system), walk alot to get rid of the gas, use a heating pad if something hurts, take your pain meds and sleep. By day 3 you'll be in the zone. Keep us updated. Azqueen: I private messaged you about disneyland, any questions? I'm heading to the resort tomorrow with the kids -- can't wait. Patty

Jenni, Thats what friends are for! Tropicana just came out with "Fruit Squeeze" just 20 calories a bottle. And lots of flavors. I'm using that now, cause they are 50cents a bottle, way cheaper since I am using so many these days. Keep me updated on what you think when you mix isopure.

<p>Jennigan,</p> <p>I didn't like the flavor of Isopure either. I would take half of the 40oz bottle of isopure(alpine punch) and add 20oz of Vitamin water by glaceau(you can find that in every grocery store $1)making a 40oz drink. My goal was to drink 60ounces of water while adding much needed protein. Since my surgery I have purchased the powdered Isopure($$$) and once again I had to figure out some way of swallowing it. It smells aweful but without this drink I feel dizzy most of the time(thats the diabetic in me speaking). Each scoop of the powder is 25grms protein and I mix with water/Vitamin water for 24oz. Yesterday I drank 2 of these bottles. I have not yet had a fill yet.... I am 3 months post op. I hope this helps alittle bit. Hugs,</p>

Hello all, Maggii and Dems..... how is your progress with the soup? Did you last the 7 days? Very curious about this recipe .....might want to give it a 3 day trial. Thanks a million.

Dear Betty, My week of fun, wasn't so fun yesterday. The boys & I went to Mothers Beach yesterday and after what just seemed like minutes, they wanted to go home . Garrett is on the wronge dose of medicine and felt all weird, Taylor is supposed to wear earplugs didn't and got water in that affected ear -- instant pain, and Channing was freezing cold (very skinny/no body fat). The Momma was blissful for the breeze and discontent with the whining. Lewis was fishman and paddling happily when at the 2 hour mark we packed it all up . I'm really glad we live just 10min down the road and we can do this on another day when the grumpys don't happen. I can tell that summer fun is over and they need to head back to school. Tonight we are supposed to go to Disneyland to see the Fantasmic show one last time. The kids are currently still sleeping and plans could change at a moments notice.... we'll keep ya posted. I went to my lapband support meeting -- didn't win a free fill, but brought home some free clothes from a clothing exchange! So I picked thru the bag and found some 1x and xl stuff to fit into when I get there. Still can't imagine getting that small.... oh well. 3 more days until the twins start school..... and I have to use an alarm to get up(ugh). Kat: Anyone who has lost 100# is the Goddess of lapband.... I humbly bow. What do you eat in a typical day?? :hungry: Jessica: Welcome to the coolest place on earth! Hugs,

Thanks Mandy, Great suggestion, I can actually make that! Taco dip it is!

Darcy.....wait.....come back....Darcy. Waaaaaaaa! I don't want to bonk you on the head, but moving just mess's everything you do. Hang in there babe. Mandy: Keep taking those cat naps. You will build your strength and it may be over a period of time. I know that you are super charged about WDW but you are still healing and this trip may just be alittle bit different and you need it take it really slow. Rent a wheelchair and use the handicap entrance -- The standing will surely sap your energy. Bring a drs note if you have to. The bottled water solution was brilliant! I hope ebay brings in those extra$$. This is the last full week for the twins and so I asked them what they really want to do..... simple stuff. The movies, evening at disneyland and free days to just build legos. Tonight I am going to another lapband support meeting, they say the give away free fills -- who knows, I might win! Ohhhh, I need help. I get to meet another lapband gal here in town. I met Vikki here and she is having a gathering at her home this Saturday. I need some hints for a "band friendly" food to bring. I understand low-fat, low-calorie and low-carb, but that doesn't mean that these are band friendly. Hints please? Thanks guys :car:

Melissa, I'm praying for ya too!

BEANIE....... love that your back! Welcome Home :kiss2: It was Soooo hot here Friday we jumped in the car and headed to the Long Beach Aquarium. I sat in the cafe with a starbucks and the kids just ran around -- whew. I cooled down and felt marvelous. I sometimes really don't know if its the 90+ heat or menopause. I just feel sticky all the time..... anyhoo. The twins and I assembled the new bunk bed -- who needs a husband! We were So proud of ourselves. We used our current double mattress(which I want to replace) and need to go to my storage unit for the twin mattress(which I also need to replace) but now that we have the bed I have time to save for those new things. Feeling quite victorious we packed sandwich fixins and headed to a new beach.... well new to us. For years I have heard people around here talk about "Mothers Beach" a cove inlet/harbor where Moms can take their toddlers to play in the sand and there isn't any surf. I was given directions the other day and yep we found it - eureka! What a blissful Saturday afternoon, I couldn't thank God enough. I prayed while the kids swam and thanked him for you guys here and my lapband. I just feel better than I did last summer. I want to keep that motivation. I couldn't do it without drinking that isopure protein, what a lifesaver! Well, lookee here...... the little monsters are coming out of their dens. Gonna try a new church this morning..... bye!

Congrats Beanie, Yeah, I wish I could be paid for doing nothing too! I really hope this job and your studies go well for you this semester. I just got home from the drs and I lost 3lbs :)whats up with that?? Anyhoo, my surgeon was really supportive and uplifting and cool with leaving my band empty for the time being -- yeah! To date I have lost 26lbs in 3months and I couldn't be happier. My blood pressure is down and nothing hurts like it did. Last night I found the bunk bed that I was searching for on that Craigslist and will be taking a look at it this afternoon. It's one step at a time, but it's finally coming together. Hugs,

Thanks Weazer, You have some powerful prayers cause I just got back from my appt and I lost 3lbs! The dr didn't yell at me and was totally happy with my progress. I don't need a fill and he said that we can keep it that way if I keep losing! Thanks friend.

Hey Guys, It has been non-stop since I got home from Santa Barbara. This week I had to get all the kids an additional Chicken pox vaccine, the health agency NOW reccommends 2 shots for protection -- everybody check the stats in your state. Then on tuesday we had a consultation for Channing for the othodontist. I was on pins and needles about the impending cost of this adventure. Channing has a huge overbite, its a family trait but the dr couldn't give me a definate plan of action until we have molds and xrays and whether we remove 4 or 6 teeth for the proper outcome. Sigh. And then on yesterday I registered the twins for school, the sophomore year :straight It all went smoothly, no complaints. Now its time for true confessions..... I have gained 2lbs :speechles and I have a drs appt this afternoon. OK, let me explain..... it really doesn't bother me, but the drs office will want to talk down to me and want better results. Did I mention that I skipped a period in July? That my hair is falling out in clumps and I don't want a fill and I'm still learning? How do I tell them this without sounding too defensive? I figure somedays I eat 1000 calories and other days I eat 800 calories and without the fill I still feel restriction. They can't make me get a fill.... right? Whats a slow loser to do? Do I have a bad attitude? OK, I'll let it go. Kat: Your photos are astounding. A jaw dropping moment for me. You are simply adorable. Can you teach me more about lapband? Hey kids, I gotta go. My appt is 1:30 California time.

Hi Guys, I just read a few pages and find so much encouragement here. I think I have gained 2lbs, not that it bothers me much but I also have a dr's appt this afternoon and they will surely yell at me. I don't want to go in there defensive but they will want me to rationalize what I'm doing wrong. I so far have refused getting a fill. My surgery was May 14th and without the fill I have lost 26lbs. All my clothes hang and I missed my period all of July. I know my body is going through all kinds of changes and I have a feeling that doctors won't listen to me and only what the scale says. Oh, I wanted to mention why I won't get a fill. I can't afford it. My surgery was self pay and I as a single Mom I pinch every penny and my decision not to get a fill is purely financial. I truly believe this is a giant learning process and as someone mentioned before me, 3 months and I would have quit. I don't feel hopeless today. How's my attitude? Thanks. PS: When I touch my port area, it is still really pressure sensitive. Anyone still hurt like I do?

Hey Everyone, I am home! What a Looooong drive -- I hate LA traffic. We left Santa Barbara at 11:30 and arrived home 2:45. Lewis said his back was hurting and traffic jams wouldn't allow me to race any faster. My Ex arrives at 5:30 and then I will be ALONE :). Kat: Excellant explaination on the confetti eggs. My tip: don't wash your hair before getting smacked with a confetti egg and then wash like crazy! Sherry: Loved your post and want to see your tattoo when it's done. Dianne: Missed ya and need update on your surgery. Mandy: Got a bit of cabin fever?? Be a good girl and count the days until your vacation. Cindy: OMG you are SO thin! Thanks for the cute pic of you and Haven. Darcy: Really Really glad to see your post. Welcome home. Betty: Please keep COOL. Turn up the AC. Eileene: :cake::cake: I would bake you a cake but I'm too far-away.... OK how about my made from scratch hot from the kitchen FUNNEL CAKE I made a huge batch 2 nights ago and the kids gobbled them up. I promise one day I will do this for you, any way, happy belated birthday girl friend. :happybday: Have a great weekend everyone -- ttyl.