SassyScienceNerd

I don't understand the mentality that you have to be completely open about your surgery on the first couple dates/early in a relationship lol... there's plenty of other ways to explain dietary restrictions without putting everything out there. it's a sensitive/vulnerable topic. honestly, i'm a bit over 7 months into my relationship (9 months post-op) and he doesn't know and probably never will. it isn't a necessity for him to know. a few people got mad at me for posting a thread here where i was feeling a bit upset that he got me chocolates for vday after i asked him not to but the thing is that that's an inconsiderate thing to do just knowing i'm on a diet and have digestive issues, he didn't need to know i had WLS to know better, you know? it's your business who you share it with. i'd explain that you're on a diet and maybe elaborate that you have a hard time digesting certain foods if you want a more solid reason but if they're worth the time they'll be able to respect that you're choosing to eat a certain way.
i don't know what the nightlife scene is like by you and what's accessible but i live inside chicago city limits so generally i like going to cheap shows on dates--there's always cheap improv shows or local bands for $5-$10. if we do get food i make sure i have suggestions in mind for places i can actually eat. bars seem to work ok as well once you're a bit further post-op, if you get 1 drink and drink it slowly over the course of the date.

Well if they are asking me out, I assume they want to spend time with me. If they don't then that is fine too, my dog is better company than most people and better dressed.
The kind of men I date aren't the kind of men that don't take charge. If you can't tell by my posting style, I'm pretty aggressive. I need someone more aggressive than me or I will be bored.
I work for my self and have for a very long time and I usually date men on that same level, and that comes with a certain personality.
I get that you are disappointed in your dating life and having a hard time, but I'm not going to be your online punching bag because you are bitter you can't get a date.

If I have to plan a date, I can just make a date with my friends, people that I actually know and I already like. Instead of leading a middle aged man by the nose. I expect to be courted or it isn't worth my time.
Think dating one month post-op you are creating a lot of your own problems. If you waited until 6 months, you could eat enough what you eat or don't eat on a date would be a non-issue. Men are used to women not eating a lot on dates, especially first dates.

My surgery, my business who I tell upon meeting or not. These are first-second-third dates here, he's not proposing. I will reveal personal information about my health when I am good and ready. YMMV, but that's how I am doing this. I don't tell them my salary or my mommy issues on the first date either. There's honesty and there's oversharing too soon.
I'm not asking anyone to cater to my restrictions, either. I simply want to have suggestions on hand for other things to do besides going out to eat so I can steer the interactions that way.
Love live music. I have done a lot of concert dates, those are probably my favorites. I'm also adding paddleboarding to the list.
OMI- I like that you make them choose the dates. After about the first or second, I expect them to do that otherwise I dump them too.

I kind of judge guys on the kinds of dates they take me on. If I'm not asking, I shouldn't have to plan. If a guy can't come up with a good date that allows me to actually get to know him and he isn't trying to impress me, there is no future in the relationship.
I'm saying it like that because I want someone that is active and likes doing activities and doesn't plan dates that revolve around meals, which is boring to me. I was like this with dating before surgery. I want to do an activity so I can make a judgement on their personality. dinner is too easy/boring.
Anyway, I like concerts and outdoor events. I get to evaluate how they act in public, how they react to crowds, if they will protect me and treat me like a lady, how good they are with parking and other things. Basically I can see how the act under slight pressure, early on, without having to date them and waste my time.
Also you kind of can't plan a date for a man because you don't know their finances. How creative they are with a date tells you a lot about them.

Made my first mini goal of reaching 208 lbs, have to share a quick split screen!
(Disclaimer: this happens to be a fabulous angle and I'm wearing the hell out of some industrial strength Spanx)

Made my first mini goal of reaching 208 lbs, have to share a quick split screen!
(Disclaimer: this happens to be a fabulous angle and I'm wearing the hell out of some industrial strength Spanx)

I'm just saying, I have my neck back. I didn't know how much I messed having it. Haha

Made my first mini goal of reaching 208 lbs, have to share a quick split screen!
(Disclaimer: this happens to be a fabulous angle and I'm wearing the hell out of some industrial strength Spanx)

Made my first mini goal of reaching 208 lbs, have to share a quick split screen!
(Disclaimer: this happens to be a fabulous angle and I'm wearing the hell out of some industrial strength Spanx)

No, one is a selfie and one was taken by someone else so my arm was down. Tattoo is still right where it started.

Amazing... Transformational. You can see the glow of happiness on your face...

I totally relate to the issue of having someone love me for what's inside... I'm not to my goal weight yet, but the last ~50 lbs dropping off has increased the attention I get from men. I just keep telling myself that if he's only into me for looks, his inner a**hole will reveal itself eventually. I'm being careful not to jump into anything too fast. I need to give them time for their crazy to come out.

It isn't that I'm looking for a magic ticket to getting a man. It's more that I'm afraid that I won't trust whoever I meet that seems to see me for me instead of what I look like. Sometimes I think that is why I have repeatedly failed at diets. Because of I can't find someone at the size I currently am that can accept me for what's on the inside, then how do I find someone that will accept me for what's on the inside when I don't have the weight on me?

I'm not losing weight in order to find a man. I'm losing weight so I can be with my children and grandchildren when they come. I'm losing weight so I can be healthy and live longer.

Made my first mini goal of reaching 208 lbs, have to share a quick split screen!
(Disclaimer: this happens to be a fabulous angle and I'm wearing the hell out of some industrial strength Spanx)

Made my first mini goal of reaching 208 lbs, have to share a quick split screen!
(Disclaimer: this happens to be a fabulous angle and I'm wearing the hell out of some industrial strength Spanx)

Made my first mini goal of reaching 208 lbs, have to share a quick split screen!
(Disclaimer: this happens to be a fabulous angle and I'm wearing the hell out of some industrial strength Spanx)

Made my first mini goal of reaching 208 lbs, have to share a quick split screen!
(Disclaimer: this happens to be a fabulous angle and I'm wearing the hell out of some industrial strength Spanx)

Made my first mini goal of reaching 208 lbs, have to share a quick split screen!
(Disclaimer: this happens to be a fabulous angle and I'm wearing the hell out of some industrial strength Spanx)

Made my first mini goal of reaching 208 lbs, have to share a quick split screen!
(Disclaimer: this happens to be a fabulous angle and I'm wearing the hell out of some industrial strength Spanx)

There's your problem. You have no idea how much your intake actually is. Start tracking it. You might be surprised at how much your snacking adds up. Or you may find that you're not eating enough. You can't figure this out until you become serious about tracking everything for a while.

There's your problem. You have no idea how much your intake actually is. Start tracking it. You might be surprised at how much your snacking adds up. Or you may find that you're not eating enough. You can't figure this out until you become serious about tracking everything for a while.

No judgment here. I'm 5'4" and 230 now (hw 248) 3 days post-op in MX. I'm not very high on the charts but watching my mother get a wheelchair at 47 years old due to the same edema in her legs as I am developing was a wake up call for me to do the surgery. At lower weights the edema is not a major issue. After the lbs start packing on, it makes it so much more difficult to move and lose the weight. We all have our reasons and they are all just as valid. Don't ever excuse yourself for taking a step in a healthy direction.

My stomach was deeply confused during the clear liquid phase (this improved with time). My favorite things were strained miso Soup with collagen powder, sugar free finger Jello, and Bone Broth my husband cooked with a Parmesan rind for flavor and then strained. Surprising amounts of Protein in those. When I was cleared for thin Protein Shakes, I really liked the nectar fruits and unflavored. And my oh-look-I-need-hysterectomy surgeon cleared those as clear liquids for that surgery.

I told everybody hiatal hernia. It worked perfectly, it explains the absence and the strange eating.