Dknal2

Thank you so much ...I appreciate it.

That's not my case .... I was 145 when I met my husband and I remained small for about 4-5 years and after the 3 kids came the weight. So I wasn't a low self esteem big girl that he preyed upon. I admit I was vulnerable for live because I came from a bad family situation but we were very young, I was 17 and he was 19.

Hi yardsleever... so good to hear from you. You are absolutely right and I have given so much of myself over the last 22 years that I almost didn't know who I was anymore. But I know there is more of me that is dying to come out n be happy n loved n just live. I'm etching towards her more and more each day.

Hi 10stackzz.. miss you.. thank you for the compliment and advice. You are right about seasons. It's just hard sometimes to accept the inevitable but it's like in so many ways God has been revealing to me how this relationship is all wrong for me. I'm ready to shine and not so much physically but inside there is this vibrant , lively person who wants to enjoy a fulfilling, happy peaceful life. I'm getting closer to that version of me more and more everyday. Thanks so much girl and keep in touch.

Thank you so much I have tried to be understanding and educate him on surgery and everything but it's to no avail. We have had marital issues before this and I think this is just taking the band aid off , so to say. I broke down this morning crying and asking him y does he act like he hates me and just treats me like crap and he says " you're crazy n need help , all that crying is doing nothing you are too grown for that" I just told him I just want us to be happy together and I don't understand how u can be so cold to someone you vowed to love. But he doesn't care at all. I'm just over this and I know it's time to move on. Sad but true.

I agree... there was a definite void that I was trying to fill at whatever cost. I was also very young and just grew to accept bull because of that void. So important to have parents that love and encourage our sons and daughters. So important... it hurts sometimes to think that I jumped out of the frying pan at my mothers house and into the skillet when I left home and got with my husband. But can't cry over spilled milk, just have to keep it moving.

Thank you so much. The pre op pic I had lost 23 lbs so I wasn't 242 on it , I was 219 on surgery day. I am working hard to be at goal and I won't let anyone I interrupt that.

I receive all of your hugs 🤗. Thank you so much for your encouragement and I am definitely going to look the book up on my kindle app.

I wasn't overweight when we got together... I gained weight after our third child about 5 years after we were together. My esteem was through the roof and I don't think the weight was the reason in me losing myself as much as I did but more so the crap that I allowed him to put me through and that I accepted because I wanted to keep my family together at all costs. You see I came from a divorced home and I had a mother who was a drug addict that left me to be mom of my brother. I longed for a long time just for someone to really love me and protect me and cherish me because I didn't have that. Initially I thought my husband would do that but we sometimes put on blinders because of what we want and not look at the obvious. I know that I deserve better than this and big or not everyone deserves respect and just to have a love that their heart just can't be without. For a long time I just thought that I needed to just suck it up and be happy that I am married and all that crap. But that has only caused me to injured emotionally more so than I was. But I have grown as a woman and what I used to feel I needed ... not so much now. I will be okay and I have faith that I will get though this situation.

You are right ... it is well. Thank you so much. I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me. I know and truly believe this.

Thank you so much.... kisses from Alabama😊

Thanks so much ... that's all I want. I appreciate the support god knows I would not have been able to do this without the support of you all on BP. I mean that from the bottom of my heart

Thank you.... I hope so too.

You are so lucky to have a great wife. That's how a marriage is supposed to be. Sad that it takes a surgery to reveal all the weak links in the union but hay better late than never. As for me, I have known for a while that my marriage was in a bad place , for many reasons, I was just hanging on to a shred of hope I guess. I'm 39 and have been with my husband since I was 17, so it's just been a hard task to actually leave. But I have had my epiphany and know what needs to be done to ensure my happiness.

We are sisters in spirit, lol. My hubby was totally against it but I refused to let my health and happiness take a back seat any longer so I went without him to have my surgery. It really hurt to do it without him but my son was there and I really felt loved and support from him. I am way smaller than what I used to be and worked hard for this progress in 4 months so I won't let him take away my joy because my butt isn't big as a horses butt. I am gonna keep going and I encourage you to do the same. The physical change is great but the mental change is phenomenal. I'm still evolving in both manners but I am praying for strength to keep psyching forward. You will not regret surgery... it is a life changer and not everyone can stay on for the ride.

Mine has increased and I think it's because I feel so much better about my body and confidence has increased. I still have enough thump in the rear to look good naked .... just nowhere near what I had , lol. But I'm good either way.

Thank you. I'm always open to listen to good advice ... whether it's hurtful or not because he he truth is just that , truth. So, I thank you and feel you are wise enough to shed some light when I'm in my room and gloom mode so I appreciate it.

Thanks hun.... I appreciate it. One would think that their spouse would embrace a better physical and emotional aspect of their spouse. But I guess not everyone wants to see you fly.. well I am gonna fly that's my goal .

That was funny. But thanks so much for the support.

I agree... loooking past the bull crap to get to my destiny... I'm tired of living being unhappy.

Thank you so much... I'm trying to enjoy it believe me and I will probably sooner than later enjoy it a little more.

Omg ... I receive that hug and thanks so much.

My husband just always ask me if I regret it n I say no I don't regret having the surgery. He then gives 2 million reasons y I shud regret it but I still tell him I'm happy I had it. I know he is probably trying to break me but I'm not letting that happen. I want to be happy with my life and if it means not being with him any longer then that's what it will be at some point.

That was a good one. I am totally honest with people about my surgery and unfortunately misery loves company. But I am being strong n pressing my way through this. Stay safe and KIT

You are a wonderful mate. Your partner is lucky. Support is everything and it means the world to the person needing it.