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Everything posted by Dknal2
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Hubby says " you aren't the one that has to be attracted to you" ..., WHAT?
Dknal2 replied to Dknal2's topic in Tell Your Weight Loss Surgery Story
So, let me first say happy Mother's Day to all of the moms on here. Secondly, I want to let you all know that I'm currently 161 lbs... which is 11 lbs away from my goal weight of 150 lbs. 👍🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 round of applause for that being that this is month 5 for me. Tjirdky, let's discuss the topic at hand. Anyone who has followed me know that my journey with my husband has been bad . Well , it's reached an all time low. We were asleep 3 nights ago and the phone kept vibrating. I told him to answer and he wouldn't. Well we have 2 kids that are outside of the home right now so I said let me make sure it's not the kids texting him. But my gut told me this is gonna be bad. But I checked anyway. This is what I saw " You left your rubber in my bed and my baby found it""" with lil joking emoticons. OMG... my heart dropped to my toes. I felt he was cheating but didn't know for sure. Let me also put this out there. My husband had not slept with me in 3 1/2 weeks at the time. So I knew something wasn't right. I had been praying to God for a revelation in this marriage be it whatever way, good or bad because my spirit knew I wasn't being treated right and I knew he was messing around. Heck I had just caught him maybe 1 month before that trying to hookup on Facebook. So, needless to say I told him I want a divorce and this was it. No more will I be the hurt wife who is trying to sacrifice herself for her husband, nope. Already have been consulting legal counsel because it's over. Now, he swears he is gonna do right and wants his family. I told him he had 21 years to do right and if he wanted his family his penis oils have stayed in is pants. Ohhhhhh.... here's the agonizing part for me. This is the same woman he had an affair with on me 13 years ago. Same dirty tramp. I'm like oh no that means this never ended. Which he swears it was only one time. Yep I believe that like I believe in Santa Claus. I cried for 2 days straight. Then I said forget this , on Mother's Day I put on a backless sundress ( in my new size 8 yassss) went out shopping ,had a great time with friends and felt like I was coming into my new, happier peaceful self. I am still very hurt but I thank God for revealing his evil because I don't want an std or aids because he is a hoer. This surgery has truly changed my life. The old me would have cried and just took him bk and dealt with the pain. But not the new confident, strong Diana that this surgery helped to bring to surface. I posted before that I knew we were gonna divorce , just didn't think it was gonna be like this but it is what it is. There is someone out there who will cherish me and love me for the jewel that I am. Thsnk you guys for all your support throughout the months. You have truly become my family.😊 -
6 months post-op and only 10lbs from my goal!!!
Dknal2 replied to Stephi7626's topic in Weight Loss Surgery Success Stories
You look awesome 👏🏾!! -
You are rocking it.... you look awesome. My Highest weight prior to surgery was 242 and I had surgery dec 5,16 and my weight is currently 167. I am really proud of progress and I also said summer of 17 will be my time to shine. Congrats girl you are so rocking this sleeve.
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Hubby says " you aren't the one that has to be attracted to you" ..., WHAT?
Dknal2 replied to Dknal2's topic in Tell Your Weight Loss Surgery Story
I want to say I don't feel guilty but I do... for years I have wanted to divorce but just been afraid of hurting my kids. My kids are 20, 19 and 17 so they are not babies but they are close to their dad. This is just really hard for me but I feel it's very necessary. -
Hubby says " you aren't the one that has to be attracted to you" ..., WHAT?
Dknal2 replied to Dknal2's topic in Tell Your Weight Loss Surgery Story
Thank you so much... I'm pushing until I can't anymore. -
Hubby says " you aren't the one that has to be attracted to you" ..., WHAT?
Dknal2 replied to Dknal2's topic in Tell Your Weight Loss Surgery Story
I agree.. there is nothing better in this world than a peace of mind and I will be so happy when I have one and not worried about what he is doing any more. -
Hubby says " you aren't the one that has to be attracted to you" ..., WHAT?
Dknal2 replied to Dknal2's topic in Tell Your Weight Loss Surgery Story
You are so right... and I truly do thank you for your kindness. -
Hubby says " you aren't the one that has to be attracted to you" ..., WHAT?
Dknal2 replied to Dknal2's topic in Tell Your Weight Loss Surgery Story
You are so right on so many things in this post. I know I need counseling and am soon to seek it so that I will have tools to deal with everything that's happened to me in my youth n my marriage. I just feel so empty all the time and I don't want that in my life. I am blessed in so many aspects I know but I just hurt for so many reasons. I just told my husband today I don't wanna do this anymore and he looked at me like whatever and I know I have said it before but I am truly done. I don't wanna do this anymore and I am going to file for divorce. I feel guilt about it because I feel my kids will be mad at me because they don't know what I have gone through all these years or maybe they do know some of it. But I can bear no more. My spirit is tired. I am so happy I have this forum as an outlet and for support. I really have no one else due to he has driven all my friends away . I thank you so much for your advice. -
Hubby says " you aren't the one that has to be attracted to you" ..., WHAT?
Dknal2 replied to Dknal2's topic in Tell Your Weight Loss Surgery Story
I receive your hugs😘😘😘 -
Hubby says " you aren't the one that has to be attracted to you" ..., WHAT?
Dknal2 replied to Dknal2's topic in Tell Your Weight Loss Surgery Story
Aww that was sweet and thank you. I'm sure you will achieve success and exceed what I've done. You will do great. Stay focused and work at it. I have quite a few distractions right now going on in my life and I saw myself yesterday just out of feeling sad wanting to eat sweets. I did eat a mini cupcake, but then I told myself no, that is personal sabotage and I have worked to hard at this. I'm gonna continue to work on me and pray for inner strength to do what I know is necessary in this marriage. I'm just over it now. -
Hubby says " you aren't the one that has to be attracted to you" ..., WHAT?
Dknal2 replied to Dknal2's topic in Tell Your Weight Loss Surgery Story
Thank you. I'm still pushing forward. -
Hubby says " you aren't the one that has to be attracted to you" ..., WHAT?
Dknal2 replied to Dknal2's topic in Tell Your Weight Loss Surgery Story
OMG, you hit the nail on the head with so many valid points. I truly do thank you for your honesty. I am working on getting my head straight and feeling good about me. I feel sometimes ashamed of this new body because of comments made but I quickly snap out of it. I was beautiful at 242 and still beautiful at 168. It's hurtful to go through some of the stuff that I have been through and feel alone in a marriage. That's not how it should be. I am praying for strength for things to come because it's gonna get ugly. I just wanna live a happy life with a mate who is totally in love with me and treats me well. I deserve that much I think. Thanks for your comments. I truly appreciate it. Very encouraging and motivating to read. -
Hubby says " you aren't the one that has to be attracted to you" ..., WHAT?
Dknal2 replied to Dknal2's topic in Tell Your Weight Loss Surgery Story
Thank you so much... that was very sincere and I appreciate the advice. 😊 -
Hubby says " you aren't the one that has to be attracted to you" ..., WHAT?
Dknal2 replied to Dknal2's topic in Tell Your Weight Loss Surgery Story
Thank you.. I'm trying. -
Hubby says " you aren't the one that has to be attracted to you" ..., WHAT?
Dknal2 replied to Dknal2's topic in Tell Your Weight Loss Surgery Story
Thank you for the support. I hope things can get better but I'm trying to focus on me n prepping myself for the worse if it happens. I deserve happiness and that's what I'm seeking. Either you with me or if you aren't then please go away -
Hubby says " you aren't the one that has to be attracted to you" ..., WHAT?
Dknal2 replied to Dknal2's topic in Tell Your Weight Loss Surgery Story
We always give 100% of ourselves to our husbands and kids and life in general. Many times neglecting ourselves and our health. I feel good and I too am very happy with my results. My husband is insecure I feel but there are other issues at hand as well . But I will be okay, I'm confident of that. -
Hubby says " you aren't the one that has to be attracted to you" ..., WHAT?
Dknal2 replied to Dknal2's topic in Tell Your Weight Loss Surgery Story
Thank you. Right now I am in a loose 10 so I'm probably a size 8 ( but I'm tired of buying clothes that end up too big so I'm not buying anything else for a while ). I haven't been this small in years, well over 16-17 years.im still 20 lbs out from goal and surgery was 4months ago. My husband is insecure about my new look I feel. He refuses to say anything about my weight except asking me if I regret it... no I don't regret having surgery one bit. I'm not as curvaceous as I once was but I'm ok with that. I feel really good and I look good in my clothes. I'm still working on my body because all together ( pre op and post op) I have lost 72 lbs. I can see a lil loose skin on my inner thighs but not too bad so I'm still a work in progress. -
Hubby says " you aren't the one that has to be attracted to you" ..., WHAT?
Dknal2 replied to Dknal2's topic in Tell Your Weight Loss Surgery Story
Thank you so much. -
Hubby says " you aren't the one that has to be attracted to you" ..., WHAT?
Dknal2 replied to Dknal2's topic in Tell Your Weight Loss Surgery Story
Thank you so much... things are okay for me. Staying strong and trying to focus on my weight loss and exercising. -
Hubby says " you aren't the one that has to be attracted to you" ..., WHAT?
Dknal2 replied to Dknal2's topic in Tell Your Weight Loss Surgery Story
I'm doing well... thanks for checking on me. Just figuring out my map and taking everything as it comes. But I'm ok 🙂 -
Hubby says " you aren't the one that has to be attracted to you" ..., WHAT?
Dknal2 replied to Dknal2's topic in Tell Your Weight Loss Surgery Story
God forbid another man would find me attractive, lol 😂. I know a big part of this is insecurity but a bigger part is control. I'm tiered of both so I'm gonna continue to get smaller and reach my goal. Regardless of how unattractive or how much of my butt may go. It feels so good to be able to wear a size 10 and have the waist to be loose. I have come to far , physically and mentally, to turn back now. Thank you so much for the support. -
Hubby says " you aren't the one that has to be attracted to you" ..., WHAT?
Dknal2 replied to Dknal2's topic in Tell Your Weight Loss Surgery Story
I do accept some responsibility in this because a lot of stuff I accepted , I shouldn't have and that's y its gotten to this point as of now. I never try to play victim at all just share my experiences. But I do know I don't deserve to be treated how he is treating me . As I said before I'm broken but not shattered. I will be ok. Thanks Lorna 😊 -
Hubby says " you aren't the one that has to be attracted to you" ..., WHAT?
Dknal2 replied to Dknal2's topic in Tell Your Weight Loss Surgery Story
Thank you and I respect your comments. You were not out of line , I appreciate you commenting. -
Hubby says " you aren't the one that has to be attracted to you" ..., WHAT?
Dknal2 replied to Dknal2's topic in Tell Your Weight Loss Surgery Story
I agree... thank you so much for encouragement. -
Hubby says " you aren't the one that has to be attracted to you" ..., WHAT?
Dknal2 replied to Dknal2's topic in Tell Your Weight Loss Surgery Story
There are many issues in our relationship, you are correct. I never ever try to play victim and accept all responsibility for my part in how our marriage has gone down. I was broken when he met me due to my family situation and I was so desperate to be loved so I accepted a lot of crap that I shouldn't have and that hurt and despair from my mom just transferred later to being from my husband and I never sought help to deal with the first bad situation. So maybe it is my fault. But I am strong enough to acknowledge my weakness and brave enough to know when my season has passed. I feel that is has passed with him and the weight coming off was just a way of me shedding some of the past and when that happened, I started to feel empowered and wanted what I have longed for for such a long time. I know what I deserve and that's love and happiness and peace. My husband has issues of abandonment with his mother and father because he was partially raised by his grandmother for a big portion of his childhood while his mom n dad traveled country in military and he holds resentment towards his parents for that. So, in a strange way , he was broken as well. He didn't get that motherly love and I think that affected him majorly as well with how to love a woman. I just know we probably could have both used counseling. But we were young. It just got out of hand and became a very bad situation for myself. I am broken, but I'm not shattered.