Bozzj

ok, i'm back---again. i'm not tight at all (can eat sandwhiches), but i'm not getting a fill because i'm trying for a baby and that would be a waste of money if we are successful:cool: So, just going to suffer and try to hang in there.... b: coffee, with coffee mate creamer b2: 2 hard boiled eggs l: roasted chicken with steamed veggies and red sauce (no oil) s: 100 cal pack of light ranch dressing and baby carrots d: black bean soup (no added fat--might top with a sprinkle of cheese). Going to repeat this menu all week (it works well for me if i stick to it lol) Gym: might skip, but go for a nice walk outside since it's a beautiful fall day :-)

b: instant grits with slice american cheese b2: hour later, cup of coffee l: roasted chicken (no skin) with veggies (steamed), topped with red sauce (my new fav lunch) & maybe a sugar free jello s: if needed, sugar free jello mouse cup, 60 cal in dark chocolate (so good) d: maybe some mousaka, made healthy Gym: my back has been hurting SO BAD again..ugh...but if it keeps up i'll do as i did yesterday--30 minutes on the treadmill going 3.0 (hey it's something). If not, 30 on the elliptical

Sorry for your loss -diva Nope just regular hardboiled eggs. I'm not that tight at the moment...had some issues where i had to have some taken out, but i could always eat whatever. I haven't gotten a fill because i'm trying to get preggers and i might have to take it out anyway:rolleyes: Thanks, on the blog thumbs up lol. b: oatmeal w pb/syrup, 250 cal l: leftover chicken with veggies and red sauce, 300 cal d: lean cuisine, 320 cal Total Cal= 870 (unless if i add a snack somewhere) Gym: Going

b: 2 hard boiled eggs, 160 cal l: chicken with veggies (no oil), topped with red sauce, 300 cal d: lean cuisine, 320 cal s: weight watcher eclair (so good, frozen section), 140 cal Total Cal: 920 (plus a few more for some crystal light) Gym: Going. Yesterday was tough....going to burn at least 400 cal (30 minutes) and work my way back up to where i used to be.

b: oatmeal with pb/syrup, 250 cal (maybe a little less--using a little pb) l: smart ones, 290 cal s: almonds, 100 cal s: going for coffee with a friend (tall skinny latte), 90 cal d: maybe just some oatmeal again- depends on how i feel, 250 cal Total Cal= 990 Gym: I went yesterday- burned 400 cal. Will probably do the same (30 minutes)...i'm working my way back to a normal routine.

let me preface this blog by saying that up until 4 months ago i was ms. lapband usa. i swear, i was. i worked out 4-5x a week--like REALLY worked out, i ate right and i judged others when they fell off the lapband wagon. I mean i didn't really know it then...it wasn't conscience, but thinking back i think i thought i would NEVER do it again--you know, eat like whoa and pretend the weight was going on my abnormally thin friend instead of my a$$. August 31st...4 months of denial...17lbs higher than my lowest weight of 205. Now granted i was only that weight for like 3 days, but still. So here i am armed with excuses: just found out in the last few months my grandma is termally ill, work is really bad at the moment, and was stressed with thinking my husband and i couldn't have a baby because he's on a certain medication. See the thing is...most people would say "omg that's totally understandable..." etc etc etc until i gained back all the weight i lost. So here i am, looking at what i've done and realizing that i am not ms. perfect lapband. and honestly, that's ok. it's got to be ok. otherwise i'll eat some chocolate crying about my failure. Today, i'm being accountable...and i'm also realizing that i'm human. I will not be perfect in this journey, but i will be honest with myself and accountable. 17lbs up. let's see how many i can get back down. this is day one of my 'omg it's me that's getting fat, not her' diet launch. wish me luck. :smile2:

let me preface this blog by saying that up until 4 months ago i was ms. lapband usa. i swear, i was. i worked out 4-5x a week--like REALLY worked out, i ate right and i judged others when they fell off the lapband wagon. I mean i didn't really know it then...it wasn't conscience, but thinking back i think i thought i would NEVER do it again--you know, eat like whoa and pretend the weight was going on my abnormally thin friend instead of my a$$. August 31st...4 months of denial...17lbs higher than my lowest weight of 205. Now granted i was only that weight for like 3 days, but still. So here i am armed with excuses: just found out in the last few months my grandma is termally ill, work is really bad at the moment, and was stressed with thinking my husband and i couldn't have a baby because he's on a certain medication. See the thing is...most people would say "omg that's totally understandable..." etc etc etc until i gained back all the weight i lost. So here i am, looking at what i've done and realizing that i am not ms. perfect lapband. and honestly, that's ok. it's got to be ok. otherwise i'll eat some chocolate crying about my failure. Today, i'm being accountable...and i'm also realizing that i'm human. I will not be perfect in this journey, but i will be honest with myself and accountable. 17lbs up. let's see how many i can get back down. this is day one of my 'omg it's me that's getting fat, not her' diet launch. wish me luck.

i'm back. but this time for real. i've fallen into the same old trap of eating during stress. work is crazy, been having some personal issues and on top of that we just found out a month or so ago that my grams is terminally ill. so i ate. i posted my gain (lowest was 205 for like 3 days lol--see avatar pic). b: high fiber oatmeal with pb & syrup, 250 cal l: lean cuisine, 350 cal s: (if needed) 100 cal pack almonds d: smart ones, 180 cal s: (if needed) sugar free jello with a little light whip cream, 25 cal Total possible cal (including crystal light): 955 Gym: GOING. it's going to be torture. i stopped going to the gym ages ago. i'm back..and accountable.

b: dunkin iced coffee with skim b2: light yogurt l: lean cuisine panini d: don't know. something healthy. gym: going.

today's my first day back...i weighed myself...and my lowest was 205...now i'm 213.8:frown: So, now i know what my actions did...and i'm going to get it back down!!! B: venti iced latte l: smart ones d: i'm going to try this new lean cuisine i have (bacon pizza) Gym: I'm going!!! woohoo. first time in foreeever. i'm going to listen to my body and do however much i can do. Definetly going to throw in some weights after cardio..i'm mushy. lol

so i've only been on here a few times since late april. why is it that i still avoid when i know i've been bad? i'm been in a mental funk. can't shake it. then my grams got really sick (terminal) so i got worse. no idea how much i gained...but i know i did. weighing myself tomorrow. ugh. Anyhoo, i must ate something weird this weekend because i had to get an unfill yesterday. been in misery!!! ugh. back on track. i promise lol. b: venti iced latte l: 1 slice pizza d: probably soup or something.

decided to get a fill on weds. because i can eat like whoa. today b: weight watcher egg/chz muffin, 210 cal l: lean cuisine thing, 320 cal s: a special k bar, 90 cal d: something. lol. i'll try to stay in the 320 range Total= 940 Gym: I am going today i don't care what it takes to get me there!!! I'll start slow (with my back and not going for a while) and maybe do 30-40 on the treadmill.

so i've been BAD lately...been on a 3 week bender....i don't know why i do this to myself!!! Anyhoo, my cheating and acting like what i eat does not make me gain weight actually made me gain like 7lbs. in 3 freaking weeks!!! Did i mention that i have not exercised either? oh yeah. just tv and food. SO i'm back..and i'm ready to be accountable again. Today b: plain greek yogurt with fresh blueberrys, granola and a little honey on top l: lean cuisine panini d: not sure. i might make myself a salad with some leftover roasted chicken. s: fruit--if needed Exercise: well i'm going to the chiropractor today right after work to have my back checked on...i have this funny feeling though that it hurts because i stopped exercising...i might go for a walk tonight if i don't get home too late from the doc