Sunta

Hello Gay and Lesbian Bandsters!!! How did I miss this thread? I've told (part of) my story a million times on the Rants and Raves forum but in a nutshell I am lesbian but I am married to a man. I got married really young and I still really love my husband but we are living like brother and sister rather than husband and wife. We have an arrangement that has been working for us for three years now; I have a girlfriend and otherwise for him it's an "open" marriage. We're a very unconventional couple to be sure but we love and respect each other and have a life together that we have built and that we love. We went through alot of pain to arrive where we are now and there were alot of tears. But I can honestly say we've been pretty happy for the last year or so and things have really stabilized now. He and my girlfriend are friends with each other. We're definitely not "swingers" or anything like that but we found ourselves in a situation where I realized I was Gay but I did not want to leave him and he didn't want me to leave either. So we're making it work for us. He is a great person and a great support and I love him alot. I'm so happy to meet all of you fellow peeps and look forward to supporting each other!

Ugghhh! Everything was totally fine until yesterday! I'd had 1.5cc's in my band for nearly seven months with NO issues whatsoever. Then, totally and completely out of the blue, I took a sip of Water yesterday and my band just clamped shut! I was so shocked! I had it happen one other time, but that was one week after a fill, and this time I'd been going along perfectly for so long, not even PBing that often at all and really enjoying life. Anyway, my band totally shut down and up came the water. I was so shocked and shaken, I immediately thought my band had slipped. I tried some warm tea, and up it came. Then I tried some chewable gas-x and an antacid. All came right back up. I waited about a half hour and tried the warm tea again. Nope. Nada, nothing was getting through at all. Not being one to wait around when I can't swallow liquids, I immediately called my doctor and they said to come in right away. Thank god it happened on a day he happened to be there! I went in and he took ALL of my fill out. I could then drink normally thank goodness. He sent me immediately to the hospital for a swallow study. The radiologist said everything looked good to him and he didn't see anything unusual, and my doc called this morning and said the same thing. Actually it was his NP so I am now waiting to hear back from him as to when I can get refilled. He didn't tell me to stay on liquids or anything so I've been eating normally and so far, so good. What the heck caused this??? It's sooo scary that it can happen out of the blue like that! I did have my period but that has never been an issue before (some people say they get really tight during their period) in the 15 months I've been banded. I want to go to Italy in October, but really dread traveling so far away from my doc when the band can just shut down like that out of the blue. It's horrible! So I'm totally unfilled and am terrified of hunger. I'm taking hoodia and it seems to be doing something slightly I guess because I was actually able to stay on bandster portions all day today. I just wonder what the heck happened. The water I tried to drink did have ice in it and it was morning. So maybe no more cold drinks in the morning ever again! But, I've been having cold drinks all along with no problems. I wonder if it could be a stomach virus or something? Life with the band is really wild!

I would definitely go to Vegas! I would love, love, love to meet some of the people on this board!!! Tell me when and I will be there!

It's not my place to judge him. That's really super that you actually follow Christian values. However, he did not. He was a person who judged people very harshly and created alot of hatred for people that didn't deserve his judgment. His venom against people suffering from AIDS, his put-downs of women, and his vile attitude toward Gays were certainly more typical of an anti-Christ than a Christian. He contributed to a social environment of discrimination, hate, and anger against people who are just trying to live their lives and live peacefully in the world. Surely his cruel words against people living with AIDS caused a huge amount of pain and hurt as did his campaigning against feminism and the ACLU. His wish to squash people's civil liberties and his blaming of Gay people and others for 9/11 was an outrage, and a hurt that won't be forgotten. The world is better off without his nasty and terrible venom.

it's a shame that we have to talk ill of a dead man. If he didn't leave such a legacy of hate, then no one would speak ill of him. That's the legacy he left, and obviously he created a tremendous amount of ill will and bad feelings. When people are truly good and loving, when they die no one speaks badly of them but rather Celebrate their life and say kind things in turn. He's reaping precisely what he sowed.

So I watched this special last night on PBS on "The Mormons" and it made me even more disgusted at religion, I have to say. Who do these people think they are, baptizing non-Mormons who are already dead?! And up until a few years ago, they were baptizing Holocaust survivors! They still baptize dead people and then record it in writing! That is truly horrible and wrong. How dare they record people as Mormon who have no intention of being so? The women are subordinate to the men, and they have no status in the church. People who don't get "selected" or "accepted" or whatever, into the temple are ostracized and treated horribly. They can even be excommunicated completely. And not to mention the outrageous treatment of Gays and Lesbians. It made me sick! I think the absolute worst was this couple where the woman was 43 years old and she'd already had 7 children, and they thought God "told" them to have another baby. The doctors advised against it because she was high risk, but they did it anyway, and she got diabetes and she DIED of a blood clot because of being too old and being a high-risk pregnancy! Now their children are without a mother! Horrible! And PBS didn't go into the widespread practice of forcing little girls to have sex with old men, and into polygamy, because that's not "officially" part of the Mormon religion, but that too makes me mad. I don't care what consenting adults do about their religious beliefs, but don't go around baptizing people who don't want to be baptized and recording it for history, and don't treat women like subordinates and force them into high risk childbearing! And don't force little girl children to get married! And I can't believe that people go around bashing law-abiding Gay people who just want to live their lives and don't hurt anyone, when these Mormons are running around abusing people and desecrating Jewish graves and treating women like total crap and emotionally abusing their members! And it's based on some dude who had a visions of angels and Jesus. Just some regular guy who would be considered a total mental case today! Unbelievable. Sometimes I think the most people in the world are 100% delusional.

I had never even heard of eyebrow waxing, tweezing, threading, or anything until I met a group of girls six years ago who I am very good friends with now. They literally insisted I "do" my eyebrows. Honestly I didn't even know what they were talking about because I never even knew eyebrows were something people "did". No one had ever mentioned it to me before, and I never noticed anyone else's eyebrows, good or bad. So it literally wasn't even in my consciousness! Now I look sooooo much better when they've been waxed or threaded. Indian threading is the absolute best. I have a co-worker who can tell if I've had my eyebrows done by the threading lady or by the waxing lady! My co-worker says the threading looks much better. As for my feet, I get regular pedicures and love how my feet look afterwards. I only go to salons where they will use the foot shaver though, because I get so much built up calloused skin on my feet that regular pumice scrubbing and moisturizing doesn't cut it. "Upscale" salons won't use it but the Asian ones usually will. One problem with the Asian salons though, is that lately, they keep doing my eyebrows too thin! I keep saying "cleanup only" and they keep taking more and more off. So now I'm being defiant and am growing them back out totally full (which looks horrible) and am going to take my Indian girlfriend back to the threading lady and translate what I want. I also go tanning and I love how I look with a tan. I'm 90 pounds down now and have 60 to go, and am loving wearing little summer dresses in size 14!!! With strappy sandals that I can actually walk in now without feeling crippled. I find I take much better care of my appearance now that I've lost weight than I did before.

I'm at 90 pounds down and have a very little loose skin on my lower tummy and some on my upper arms, but nothing I would consider surgery for. I have 65 pounds to go to make goal, so I'm really hoping it won't be too bad since it's not really that bad now.

I have known plenty of athiests who would give you the shirt off thier back, while another Christian is too busy to bother. Yes, I have found this to be true the vast majority of the time.

I guess it would be impossible to remove God from the discussion of this bill? It would be possible if the majority of people opposing it weren't Christians. A fact I still find highly ironic. It seems whenever Christians debate anything, it all goes back to God. I have no trouble discussing it without bringing up God and would be more than happy to do so.

What I don't get is Christianity. It is quite simple to prove it is not factual. It isn't even original material. When xtianity was created by man it was borrowed, stolen, and copied from myths prior. Why not go to the original myth? At least it isn't copied from someone else, or if it is we don't KNOW it is used and rehashed material. Why not adopt the religions it was copied from? Wouldn't that at least be more honest? Amen to that!

I found that comment insulting because that comment about the President of the Church being probably gay was making fun of him. As I have explained, it would never even cross my mind that calling someone Gay is in any way derogatory, mean, or insulting. And actually I think it's very offensive that that's how you take it.

Well, I used to smoke when I was in my teens and early 20's, then I quit when I was 22. 14 years later and after my surgery, I picked it back up again, but not every day and only 1-5 cigs on the days when I do smoke. Since I've had this sinus infection for the last three weeks, I have not one the entire time, because it really increases my coughing. So I'm thinking that if I've gone three weeks without one, I can just keep going. However, I really love smoking. I really do. It's sooooo relaxing to end the day with a smoke and a glass of wine on my steps. I really look forward to that great time in the evening and relaxing with a smoke. I don't believe that 1-5 cigs a few times a week significantly increases my risk of lung cancer, even though a recent study said it increases it five times that of a non-smoker. I think heavy smokers have something like a 15 times increased risk. I don't think it's any worse for my lungs than inhaling all the pollution here in Philly. Now with regard to the smoking ban, we do have the ban here in Philly, and I am not in favor of it, even though I'm planning on quitting. I think that it is more than sufficient to have non-smoking sections in restaurants and bars. Quite frankly it feels really really odd to me to go into a little neighborhood corner dive bar nowadays and there's no one smoking. It really ruins the character of a place. There should be smoking and non-smoking sections, and maybe even I would go so far as to say smoking and non-smoking establishments. That way, if someone wants to go hang out and smoke at a local pub, they can, while if they want to enjoy dinner in a totally smoke-free environment, they can do that also. I generally tend to not like laws that limit anyone's freedom of choice.

Why are you so mean? I don't understand. Are you saying that calling someone "Gay seeming" or "feminine" is mean? See, I don't think of it as insulting or mean to say that someone is Gay or that they act feminine. I guess if you knew the wide variety of Gay men that I do, you would start to see some similar patterns in some of them. While some Gay men are very masculine, others are very feminine, and some are right down the middle. But I have never met a straight man who was actually straight, who acted effeminate, because they always turn out to be Gay. I think you know what I mean by effeminate. I think you probably have seen some depictions on tv or mabe even know some people who seem "swishy" or fay. Of course not all Gay men are like that, (in fact I know some who do crush beer cans on their head and love sports, etc.) but some of them are for sure. They even joke about it with each other and will say "oh you're such a girl!" or "stop being such a poof" (that's the British version). In fact, there is some backlash within the Gay community against men who act "too effeminate". Here's a link to a great book (written by a Gay man) about this: [ame=http://www.amazon.com/Sissyphobia-Gay-Men-Effeminate-Behavior/dp/1560239905]Amazon.com: Sissyphobia: Gay Men and Effeminate Behavior: Tim Bergling: Books[/ame] Well, the men I saw on this special just came off as being very feminized and actually, when I talked to some of my Gay friends about it who had also seen it, we were cracking up because they thought the same thing on their own! I think it's wonderful for men to be sensitive and to be in touch with their feminine side, but when they're very in touch with it to the point they act "poofy" then they usually turn out to be Gay. And, there is nothing wrong with any of these things whatsoever, and I don't consider it to be an insult in any way to say that a man acts feminine or that he might be Gay.

I hope you're right about this. Although, how one person could be so right just astounds me. You are young. You have a long life ahead of you, I hope. I can't tell you how much one person can change throughout their years. Please don't allow your heart to be so hardened. There is so much before you that you can't possibly even begin to know. If I am to be a 'lunatic' in your eyes, then so be it. But, I will never go back to where I began. Wait, where did I say you were a lunatic? I was referring to the people featured on the shows I have watched on bible prophecy, as well as the people who have, through the years, made a huge fuss and bother over the "the end of the world" coming on some certain date because the bible said that's the date it would end. I remember back in college (oh, and I'm really not that young, when I say "back in college" I'm going back nearly 20 years), there was some huge to-do on campus about "the world will end on (some date I don't remember but I think the year was 1988.) It was all over the news about how people were going up to mountains to pray and wait for the actual day, etc. And people were walking around campus distributing leaflets about it and they were insisting that "bible prophesy" stated that this particular date would be the end of the world. I always wondered what these people did after the date passed. Since they had basically dedicated their lives to this be "the" date and doing everything to prepare for it. I wonder about the looks on their faces when they prayed all night on the mountains and then it became the next day. Ummm... I guess maybe they felt embarrassed? I don't quite know but it's interesting to think about. Through the years I have also heard of this happening on other dates as well, and they always have some complex mathmatical calculation based on bible prophesy. But, here we all still are. So, no, I don't think that bible prophecy amounts to a sack of Beans. Every time I see one of these shows they're always saying these vague, general things the bible says and they say it means this or it means that. When someone can show me where, in the bible it says something specific, using exact names of current people, places and things, then perhaps I wil reconsider my opinion. Oh, and nothing about "nations going to war" because that is very broad-reaching and as long as we have nations, it is not surprising in the least that many of them, at some point, might be at war with each other. Also not surprising is prophesy of a certain nation being taken over by another and "destroyed". Back when this stuff was written, nations were being taken over right and left! So it's not shocking that even something written 1,000 years before it occurred, about war or "destruction" of a nation eventually came to pass. Nations are always at war with each other! And for thousands of years the order of the day was conquering and taking over places. How about some non-war prophecies? So, you find me a bible passage that does not need to be "interpreted" and that specifically states something about today using proper names (for example, "On December 7, 1941, the Japanese will bomb Pearl Harbor.) and I will be very interested to read about it. I'm not interested in Old Testament prophesy being "fulfilled" in the New Testament, since it is very simple to pick up a book and expand on it. I could pick up any book written hundreds of years ago and write a continuation of the story that seems like a continuation of the same book, but that doesn't make me a prophet. Similarly, if someone laid out a scenario for a character in a book, I could pick out those characteristics and craft a great story using all of them. It's not rocket science. And as for my heart being hardened, I really don't believe that to be so. I feel I am very openminded, I read a tremendous amount, I research, and I love learning. I have a very inquisitive mind and heart.

oh and another thing...the polygamy didnt stop until one of "THE PROPHETS" decided or sorry...had a divine prophecy ....to stop all polygamy... That "prophet" was probably Gay and didn't want one wife, let alone fifteen! When I watched the special on Mormons, I swear I never saw such a group of Gay-seeming men. I read afterward that that alot of Mormon men act very effeminate (a disclaimer: I am NOT stating that all Gay men act effeminate! Just "some" and believe me, I know tons). Why do they act so feminized?

were written about JESUS 700 yrs before he was born. And many things that happen in modern history that was written long ago. Yeah, did you ever hear of fiction? It can be written 700 years in the past and different writers can pick up the same story and expand on it. It's not that difficult. As for the bible's "prophesies", they are so broad and general that I promise you I could make a list right now that 100 years or 1000 in the future people could pick up and say "when she said this, she meant this event!" "In the time of the great ruler Brown who is called a lion, a great nation will face hardships of famine and drought." I 100% promise that in the future, someone could take my "prophecy" and be convinced that I was talking about some yet-to-happen current event. I always laugh when I see shows about "bible prophecy". It's like a bunch of lunatics feeding each other's delusions.

I have many many many things that I could tell you about the mormons and the "weird" things they do, but I wont Oh do tell. Please do. Please?

So, only if your disclamer says that Christians who are not infavor of this bill are not all haters. Unless, of course, you still think that way about me. Well, to be honest, in answer to the first quote above, I don't know, because I have not received a satisfactory answer as to why this bill would be detrimental to them. Since I can't find that answer, my suspicion is that the real reason for some is that they are hateful of Gays. I don't know why anyone would stand in the way of something that will do no harm and could be potentially beneficial. For example, I could say "I am against giving disabled people extra governmental aid because I don't receive extra governmental aid", but if I don't need the aid in the first place, why would I care that disabled people get extra? Additionally, if I did need the aid, but I wasn't disabled, then it would be kind of selfish of me to deny someone at a disadvantage the extra money that could potentially help them. So, I don't know, I just don't see any sound argument for being against the hate crimes bill. As for the second quote above, I try not to make personal judgments about individuals here and prefer to keep my commentary more broad in scope. But, since you've stated that you don't dislike Gays I believe you. However, I still don't know why you would care to oppose the bill.

I can't believe I forgot my traditional disclaimer. And I think you all know full well that I generally always put "some (NOT ALL! NOT ALL!)" before any comment about Christians. But since you're all so quick to jump on me the moment I forgot to do so, I will rephrase. I think the bottom line is that some (NOT ALL! NOT ALL!) Christians don't like Gays, period. Ok, everyone, are you satisfied now?

Yourself excluded, I'm sure....since you are the all-knowing source of infinite information. Congratulations on that by the way!! Just because people happen to disagree with you, doesn't mean they need to "learn something new". How condescending..... Missy, there is no need to be so sarcastic. I don't find it at all condescending to tell someone "hey you could learn something new." In fact, I really enjoy learning new things and am not at all offended if someone says to me "Hey you know what? Let me educate you on..." I really love learning new things and am constantly reading, researching, and learning, so no, I don't think I exclude myself from the classification of those who need to learn something new. I am quite sure that the people who are arguing with me really do not know a whole lot about their impact on the environment, nor do they care to know. Certainly you're not suggesting that everyone is an expert and knows everything they need to in order to be a good environmental citizen? Because I certainly don't and am learning new things every day about it. For example, I just learned that by carpooling even a few times a week, I could cut down my emissions from my car significantly. So now I'm trying to find a carpooling partner for work. I am never adverse to learning new things, and I'm disappointed that you seem to think the mere suggestion of that is so offensive.

Depression is a cognitive thinking/chemical imbalance illness. It knows no address or religous affiliation. Once again, Leatha, did you read the paper we're talking about?

I suggest that some of you really research the religions before making derogotory comments about it. I feel I have done research on the religion. Are you saying that the Dr.'s report is a bunch of balony, just because you happen to know some nice people who are Mormon? Look, these women he interviewed told him of their depression because of their religion. Should their personal experiences be discounted? In addition, there are thousands of thousands of recovering Mormons who feel they were extremely damaged by the church. I am sure that there are happy and decent Mormon people in the world, but I am also certain that some tenants of the doctrine do oppress women. Funny how when it comes to women's issues, it's always the unaffected women who are the first in line to say it's not true. Women are best at putting each other down. It is a well-documented fact that many thousands of people feel hurt and degraded by the church. If you don't believe me, all you have to do is Google "ex Mormon'.

you are a person who never had the pleasure of being from a large family and feeling the love and bonding that comes from that. I thank my parents for being the kind good and loving parentd they were and for teaching me the true meaning of family. I do know the true meaning of family, thanks. I'm grateful to my mom for educating me about my own ecological footprint, teaching me to reduce, reuse, and rycycle, and how to be a responsible citizen in our community while treating the planet with respect. How nice it would be if instead of becoming defensive, people would stop a moment and learn something new.

Your argument about the lottery is a red herring and has not logical flow. Actually, it wasn't an "argument" about the lottery, it was an example of an idea that was similar to yours. Are you saying the two ideas are not similar? You said that the detriment of the law is that it does not protect you. That is the same as saying "If it doesn't protect me, then no one should be protected". And you don't think that's similar to saying "If I don't win, no one should win." ? Sorry, but in terms of "logical flow" I think my illustration is far more logical that Christians saying the law should be opposed because it's not perfect. Still no one can tell me how it directly negatively affects them. Christians are not the victims of hate crimes for being Christians on a widespread basis, unless I'm missing some major news stories. They are not an often targeted minority. Really, Marjon9 has said it all. Christians simply don't like Gays, period. So let's stop all the nonsense about "it's an unnecessary law" and just tell it like it is.