Sunta

In my opinion, I think that the problem lies not within your husband feeling less attracted, but within the way he's telling you about it and threatening divorce (if it weren't for your son). I have to disagree ever so slightly with some of the other comments about how attraction should be unconditional. I don't think of myself as a shallow person by any strech of the imagination, but I will admit that there have been relationships I have had where the person grew to look vastly different from when we met, (not having to do only to do with weight, but also other appearance changes) and I have to say that I did lose attraction because of those appearance changes. Now, how I dealt with it is a different story. I do believe that love should be unconditional and that issues like loss of attraction can and should be dealt with, together, a couple, without using harsh words or threatening to leave. I think that it's the way your husband is dealing with his loss of attraction rather than the fact that he did lose attraction. There are many, many reasons why people can lose attraction for their partner, and not all of them weight-related. It's a problem that the couple has, and should be dealt with as a couple, united and bonded together. Attraction can be regained, and I agree that therapy is in order for you as a couple. I do agree that it is not right the way your husband is talking to you, and that his loss of attraction could be stated in a much kinder, gentler, even a positive, way. For example, my husband would never openly criticize my weight, but he has said things like "you know, sex would be alot easier and more appealing if you lose the weight". So he states it in a positive way, rather than saying "I'm not attracted to you." I gained over 100 pounds since meeting my husband, and while I consider myself to have a pretty good self-esteem, I have stopped caring alot about my appearance, and I can see that probably, he's not as attracted as when I was 23 and alot thinner. He's human after all! But it's the way he approaches it and the way we deal with it together that makes the difference. He was incredibly supportive of my surgery and always tells me I'm beautiful, etc. I think therapy could help tremendously in your situation. Your husband needs to learn to express himself in a kind and loving way and needs to learn how to rekindle his attraction. Would he be willing to see a marriage counselor?

I have read alot of accounts on here of women's periods being affected by the band. Most say they skip several months after surgery and then bleed heavily. If you do a search you should find some relevant threads. I would say, though, that if it doesn't clear up in the next month, to call your gyn.

What I'm hoping to say goodbye to: Chairs with arms that dig painfully into my thighs Booths at restaurants that press into my stomach Getting winded walking up a small flight of stairs Not being able to keep up with the rest of the office when we walk to get sushi and lagging two blocks behind Feeling like I am going to pass out from exhertion from walking with my boss to a client meeting Asking for a seatbelt extender on airplanes Traveling in Europe not being able to fit AT ALL into ANYTHING (bus seats, movie seats, theater seats, train seats!!!) Comments from strangers Exceeding the weight limit for a treadmill Not being able to take a bath because I can't fit into the tub Feeling like I'm choking when I lay on my back or side because the fat from my chest rolls onto my neck Swollen ankles Struggling to tie my shoes, paint my toenails, or put on socks Never being able to wear shorts in public Having to always wear stretch pants under my skirts so my inner thighs don't bleed from rubbing together Not giving a crap about my appearance because I'm so fat that who cares anyway Feeling like a sore thumb at parties Sweating in the winter Not being able to clean my house or wash dishes for an extended period of time Not being able to scrub the floor on my hands and knees, or thoroughly wash the tub because it's too tiring to bend over. Being hot in cold air conditioning And I'm sure I could think of a few more. Thanks for starting this thread!

Sorry for this being an adult natured post, but I'm nervous! Ok, without being graphic, it just seems like the natural mechanisms of sex would cause a slippage. I don't know, I just can't imagine all of the movement on my stomach not hurting my band. I mean, I can see how much my outer stomach is moving, and I assume that my inner stomach is moving too. Especially when one's partner has a large stomach too LOL. Has anyone's doctor reassured them about this? I would be way too embarrassed to ask mine!

Hi, I know, I know, I should follow what my doctor says to do. But my doctor wants me on liquids for FOUR WEEKS. I am now in my fourth week and I have five days left of liquids and I am sooooo starving I can't focus at work! I don't feel like bugging my doctor because he will probably say no anyway, but do you really think I will slip my band if I start on cottage cheese, mashed potatoes, refried Beans, etc? Keep in mind I've been all liquids (full) for over three weeks and have not cheated once. Did my doctor do some different technique that would require a longer stomach healing time or something? I'm revenous. I'm already doing full Soups, blending up and thinning down stuff. I just want to start on stuff that will keep me fuller longer. I can't concentrate and am dizzy!

Tammy, I can sympathize! What helped me the most was using Benefiber regularly. As a matter of fact, after just two days of use, my problem cleared up considerably. They make a non-thickening, no-flavor formula that you can mix into shakes or any drink. The most important thing is to drink alot of water during the day while you're taking it, like a minimum of 64 ounces. It works great!

I really think that many of us obese know more about health and nutrition than most nutritionists, dieticians, etc. I agree 100% I know the calorie counts of almost all foods by heart as well as the carb and fat counts. I know everything there is to know about almost every diet plan know to humankind! I often thought I could easily be a nutritionist and pass the test without even studying!

Thanks for the tip, I'm definitely going to check it out!

I needed a minimum of two weeks, and would have loved to have taken off three. There is no way I could have gone back any earlier than two weeks.

How about trying a supplement? I just bought a powdered supplement that claims to be the equivalent of 6 servings of vegetables in one scoop. Of course, there's nothing like the real thing, but if I could just make one ok-tasting shake a day and get all my veggies in, that would be great, just to ensure I'm getting proper nutrition. Otherwise, how about a delicious beef-vegetable soup? And don't forget that lettuce and tomatoe on sandwhiches is one serving of veggies. No need to serve plain veggies as a side-dish, why not try mixing them in with a meatloaf, making a low-fat zuchinni bread, or mashing some cauliflower with butter, salt and pepper? Mmmmm mmm! I also love Chinese chicken and veggies, and tons of ethnic foods that contain veggies. How about mushrooms and onions grilled in an omelet? Roasted pepper hummus, brocolli rabe with sharp provolone? There's no way these things taste gross! If you get creative there are so many ways to get veggies in.

I am not planning on giving up anything in moderation. I haven't had an adjustment yet though so I guess my band will tell me what I can and can't eat. But besides the actual demands of the band, I plan on having all my favorites that I can tolerate in much smaller portions. I believe in calories in, calories out. Just look at the French, they eat incredibly fatty pastries, cheese, cream sauces, and indulge in wine every single day, and yet they are thin. This is because they only ingest 1,200 per day on average! As their regular diet! Since I plan on counting calories, I see no reason why I should not have whatever I want as long as it fits into my daily calorie limit. As for exercise, I don't think I can lose weight without it, so I've been going to the gym every day. I hate it, but I see it as a necassary evil. The one thing I am trying to give up is carbonation, since it seems almost universally accepted that it has the potential to cause harm.

Tammy, no one knows how much I weigh except me and my doctors. My poor husband gave up on asking me years ago!

Should we do something after work one night instead? Could people make that?

Hi Guys, Well, after reviewing my calendar, the first weekend I have open is May 20th!!! But, at least it's far enough in advance that maybe everyone will be available? It's a Saturday. Let me know! I think it would be really fun!

Anyone? Anyone?

Hi Gang, Just checking in. Sigh. I lost NO weight this week. Ugh! I did just start on "soft solids" as per my nutritionist (chicken, turkey, fish, soft veggies, cheese, eggs, deli meats), so maybe that's why. I've been increasing my treadmill time at the gym every two days, and am up to burning 220 calories in 37 minutes. I am still sticking to around 1,200 calories a day and go for my first fill on April 5th. I can't wait! So far, the soft solids are heavenly! It's almost like being able to eat anything I want. I'm now in my sixth week and feeling just great aside from not losing any weight! Congratulations to everyone on their weight loss. JanetC, I am definitely going to take your advice and start measuring! Maybe that will make me feel better...

In order to try to ward off sagging skin, I'm following a regimine of: 1. Oil skin from inside: flax oil every day (1 tablespoon) 2. Oil skin from outside: firming lotion designed specifically for weight loss, and coconut oil (oily skin sags less than dry skin) 3. At least 64 ounces of Water every day for good hydration 4. Multivitamin designed specifically for skin (Olay Vitamins) 5. Exercise 6 days a week I have no idea whether or not this will work, but it's what I'm trying! I've lost 21 so far, and so far, no sagging skin LOL!

Oh my! This weekend didn't go so well for me food-wise! I am just finishing up my fifth week post op (week six begins tomorrow) and am supposed to be on all mushies still. Well, I ended up eating (very small amounts of) cake, cold sesame noodles, and biscotti. None of these are mushy foods!!! Argh! I hope I didn't slip my band!!!!!!!!!! I am not proud of myself...

Hi Weight Watchers online is awesome! It's sooo easy to track points and it's only $16.95 per month! I used this during my pre-op diet to lose four pounds. I think it's a fantastic program. The Website is www.weightwatchersonline.com

If only I could go in yet avoid the evil, evil lure of the munchkins...

Hi! I got permission to start mushies five days early and have been really enjoying myself. I wanted to share some ideas for anyone on the mushy phase. Here is what I've enjoyed so far: Hummus Baba Ganoush Labne (middle eastern yogurt) Indian vegetable croquettes (mushed up) Indian lentils and rice blended in the blender Indian saag paneer (totally blended spinach and soft cottage cheese; SO delicious!!!) Indian sweet lime pickle (the syrup only mmmm mmmm) chicken croquettes (mushed up) Mashed potatoes Tuna salad Blended beef stew Blended Soups (all different varieties) I have really enjoyed eating out several times at the middle eastern restaurant, the Indian restaurant, and the diner! So, everyone on mushies, check out the ethnic places near you because there are some amazing offerings!!!

Hey! Anyone from Philly or the tri-state area? I would love to get together sometime! I went to the PA forum and there were only two threads in there LOL. Jeff, are you game? --Becky

Hi Everyone! Congrats to everyone on your fills! Everyone sounds like you're all doing fantastic! JerseyTammy: They make an adult strength liquid Tylenol you can get at your local pharmacy. I love it! I also love liquid Tylenol PM. I'm so glad it's Friday! I have a great weekend planned! Only thing is, I'm starving, starving, starving!!! Ooooh I wish mushies were over! I'm sooo tempted to cheat and eat some solids! I'm in my fifth week so I feel like I would be fine. Being hungry is the pits! I've been keeping myself strictly to 1,200 calories a day, but it's sooo hard. Well, I'm off to the gym, guys!

Ooooh whoops! Sorry about that everyone!!! That's a big whoops! Umm... Let me look at my calendar and find another date...

How about Sunday April 16th for lunch? Ooooh I'll be on solids by then! I know lots of restaurants around the city. Any particular cuisine you all like? I like everything. There's a fabulous Vietnamese place on Washington Avenue with great parking. Or if we wanted to go more basic we could hit American Diner at 5th and Spring Garden. If we do that we should go a bit later because it gets crowded for breakfast. Let me know what sounds good...