Sunta

I believe Sunta here is talking about the invisible privelege that white people (especially white men) have. She is not referring to whether you grew up in a weathy household, went to an excellent school, etc. She is talking about the white privelege that ALL white people are born with...we can't see it, but minorities can. A really really good video (documentary) that attempts to explain this is called The Color of Fear. It has 8 men of all different ethnicities and races talking to each other about their race issues. Really eye-opening, and explains Sunta's point exactly. Thank you much, Daniethegirl. Now, if only people would actually be open to educating themselves on these issues, the world be a much better place. But it seems that the suggestion of merely learning something new is highly offensive to some, unfortunately. I will check out the documentary you recommend. It sounds like just the refresher course I need on this fascinating subject.

Oh I see. You are assuming I am uneducated. No not at all. I said that you can be a "better educated" person on race and society, by learning more, just as we all can. Since you brought it up, have you ever taken a "race in society", or diversity class?

How do you find time to write on this message board while also knowing all the white people in the world. Talk about multi-tasking. What are you talking about?

PS: If there are any current women's studies or African-American studies majors out there, please assist me. It's been many many years since I was called on to delve back into basic race/society studies. Thanks!

Over privileged applies to ALL WHITE MEN???? Seems to me you are quite the little stereotyper yourself Sunta. I wish I had time to teach you a Freshman-level college diversity class, but since I don't, this list of privileges can start you on the road to being a better educated person on race and society: (Adapted from "Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack" by Peggy Macintosh) White Privlege: I can be pretty sure that my neighbors will be neutral or pleasant to me. I can go shopping alone most of the time, pretty well assured that I will not be followed or harassed. I can turn on the television or open to the front page of the paper and see people of my race widely represented. When I am told about our national heritage or about "civilization," I am shown that people of my color made it what it is. I can be pretty sure of having my voice heard in a group in which I am the only member of my race. I can go into most/majority of supermarkets and find the staple foods which fit with my cultural traditions, into most hairdresser's shop and find someone who can cut my hair. Whether I use checks, credit cards or cash, I can count on my skin color not to work against the appearance of financial reliability. I can arrange to protect my children most of the time from people who might not like them. I do not have to educate my children to be aware of systemic racism for their own daily physical protection. I can be pretty sure that my children's teachers and employers will tolerate them if they fit school and workplace norms; my chief worries about them do not concern others' attitudes toward their race. I can talk with my mouth full and not have people put this down to my color. I can swear, or dress in second hand clothes, or not answer letters, without having people attribute these choices to the bad morals, the poverty or the illiteracy of my race. I can speak in public to a powerful male group without putting my race on trial. I can do well in a challenging situation without being called a credit to my race. I am never asked to speak for all the people of my racial group. I can remain oblivious of the language and customs of persons of color who constitute the world's majority without feeling in my culture any penalty for such oblivion. I can criticize our government and talk about how much I fear its policies and behavior without being seen as a cultural outsider. If a traffic cop pulls me over or if the IRS audits my tax return, I can be sure I haven't been singled out because of my race. I can easily buy posters, post-cards, picture books, greeting cards, dolls, toys and children's magazines featuring people of my race. I can go home from most meetings of organizations I belong to feeling somewhat tied in, rather than isolated, out-of-place, outnumbered, unheard, held at a distance or feared. I can be pretty sure that an argument with a colleague of another race is more likely to jeopardize her/his chances for advancement than to jeopardize mine. I can be pretty sure that if I argue for the promotion of a person of another race, or a program centering on race, this is not likely to cost me heavily within my present setting, even if my colleagues disagree with me. If I declare there is a racial issue at hand, or there isn't a racial issue at hand, my race will lend me more credibility for either position than a person of color will have. I can choose to ignore developments in minority writing and minority activist programs, or disparage them, or learn from them, but in any case, I can find ways to be more or less protected from negative consequences of any of these choices. My culture gives me little fear about ignoring the perspectives and powers of people of other races. I am not made acutely aware that my shape, bearing or body odor will be taken as a reflection on my race. I can worry about racism without being seen as self-interested or self-seeking. I can take a job with an affirmative action employer without having my co-workers on the job suspect that I got it because of my race. If my day, week or year is going badly, I need not ask of each negative episode or situation whether it had racial overtones. I can think over many options, social, political, imaginative or professional, without asking whether a person of my race would be accepted or allowed to do what I want to do. I can be late to a meeting without having the lateness reflect on my race. I can choose public accommodation without fearing that people of my race cannot get in or will be mistreated in the places I have chosen. I can be sure that if I need legal or medical help, my race will not work against me. I can arrange my activities so that I will never have to experience feelings of rejection owing to my race. If I have low credibility as a leader I can be sure that my race is not the problem. I can easily find academic courses and institutions which give attention only to people of my race. I can expect figurative language and imagery in all of the arts to testify to experiences of my race. I can chose blemish cover or bandages in "flesh" color and have them more or less match my skin. I can travel alone or with my spouse without expecting embarrassment or hostility in those who deal with us because of our race. I have no difficulty finding neighborhoods where people approve of our household. I will feel welcomed and "normal" in the usual walks of public life, institutional and social. Male Privilege: My odds of being hired for a job, when competing against female applicants, are skewed in my favor. The more prestigious the job, the larger the odds are skewed. I can be confident that my co-workers won't think I got my job because of my sex - even though that might be true. If I am never promoted, it's not because of my sex. If I fail in my job or career, I can feel sure this won't be seen as a mark against my entire sex's capabilities. The odds of my encountering sexual harassment on the job are so low as to be negligible. If I do the same task as a woman, and if the measurement is at all subjective, chances are people will think I did a better job. If I'm a teen or adult, and if I can stay out of prison, my odds of being raped are so low as to be negligible. I am not taught to fear walking alone after dark in average public spaces. If I choose not to have children, my masculinity will not be called into question. If I have children and provide primary care for them, I'll be praised for extraordinary parenting if I'm even marginally competent. If I have children and pursue a career, no one will think I'm selfish for not staying at home. If I seek political office, my relationship with my children, or who I hire to take care of them, will probably not be scrutinized by the press. Chances are my elected representatives are mostly people of my own sex. The more prestigious and powerful the elected position, the more likely this is to be true. I can be somewhat sure that if I ask to see "the person in charge," I will face a person of my own sex. The higher-up in the organization the person is, the surer I can be. As a child, chances are I was encouraged to be more active and outgoing than my sisters. As a child, I could choose from an almost infinite variety of children's media featuring positive, active, non-stereotyped heroes of my own sex. I never had to look for it; male heroes were the default. As a child, chances are I got more teacher attention than girls who raised their hands just as often. If I'm careless with my financial affairs it won't be attributed to my sex. If I'm careless with my driving it won't be attributed to my sex. I can speak in public to a large group without putting my sex on trial. If I have sex with a lot of people, it won't make me an object of contempt or derision. There are value-neutral clothing choices available to me; it is possible for me to choose clothing that doesn't send any particular message to the world. My wardrobe and grooming are relatively cheap and consume little time. If I buy a new car, chances are I'll be offered a better price than a woman buying the same car. If I'm not conventionally attractive, the disadvantages are relatively small and easy to ignore. I can be loud with no fear of being called a shrew. I can be aggressive with no fear of being called a bitch. I can ask for legal protection from violence that happens mostly to men without being seen as a selfish special interest, since that kind of violence is called "crime" and is a general social concern. (Violence that happens mostly to women is usually called "domestic violence" or "acquaintance rape," and is seen as a special interest issue.) I can be confident that the ordinary language of day-to-day existence will always include my sex. "All men are created equal…," mailman, chairman, freshman, he. My ability to make important decisions and my capability in general will never be questioned depending on what time of the month it is. I will never be expected to change my name upon marriage or questioned if i don't change my name. The decision to hire me will never be based on assumptions about whether or not I might choose to have a family sometime soon. Every major religion in the world is led primarily by people of my own sex. Even God, in most major religions, is usually pictured as being male. Most major religions argue that I should be the head of my household, while my wife and children should be subservient to me. If I have a wife or girlfriend, chances are we'll divide up household chores so that she does most of the labor, and in particular the most repetitive and unrewarding tasks. If I have children with a wife or girlfriend, chances are she'll do most of the childrearing, and in particular the most dirty, repetitive and unrewarding parts of childrearing. If I have children with a wife or girlfriend, and it turns out that one of us needs to make career sacrifices to raise the kids, chances are we'll both assume the career sacrificed should be hers. Magazines, billboards, television, movies, pornography, and virtually all of media is filled with images of scantily-clad women intended to appeal to me sexually. Such images of men exist, but are much rarer. I am not expected to spend my entire life 20-40 pounds underweight. If I am heterosexual, it's incredibly unlikely that I'll ever be beaten up by a spouse or lover. I have the privilege of being unaware of my male privilege.

Plus, how can you automatically assume I came from a upper-class family. Is it because of my more conservative views? I'm sorry, my dear, what I assumed was that you would understand that the term "overprivledged" applies to ALL white men in our society, regardless of economic background.

Those that swear they will be too tired, in starvation mode, or unable to lose at less than 1000 calories a day believe in myths of more than one type. (wink) Heeheehee LOL!<!-- / message --><!-- sig -->

For heaven's sake, get over it. Now, this is a TOTAL guess, but I'll bet if you were a black female athlete who trained hours every day and fought stereotypes and perhaps adverse circumstances your whole life, and who ended up becoming an award-winning basketball player, you'd have a really, really different perspective on things. It's funny when white males tell black girls to get over it. Try living their life for one day. You're an overpriveleged majority. You get over yourself.

Nobody will ever convince me that a low carb diet is healthy either. I think we need carbs for energy so that we CAN move. I agree 1000%. The funny thing is, prior to being banded, I was totally on the low carb/healthy eating bandwagon. Now, after being banded, I have become completely, totally, and utterly convinced that it's calories that count and nothing else. It makes me mad that this lowe-crab fraud is being pushed on the public. Any "studies" that show a greater loss on low carb can be totally attributed to water loss on a low carb diet in the first few months. This water loss can be up to 20 pounds or more. But when you average it out over the long term, there is no evidence for low-carb being superior to low calorie. By long-term I mean 10 years or more. And, low carb dieters tend to experience a huge rebound effect when they return to carbs. I attribute this to all the hydration coming back into their bodies. I was a very strict follower of the Atkins diet for a few years, and I did lose weight. But I could never lose more than 30 pounds, and when I stopped it came rushing back, plus lots more. Being banded, I eat plenty of carbs, protein, veggies, and fruit, and have lost more than I ever have in my life. This, plus the backup of scientific studies, shows me that it's calories, and not carbs, that count.

just remember that everyone is different.... when i wasnt eating much (maybe 7-800 cals a day) and not exercising my weight stood still ... not 1 pound lost. With all due respect, I tend to go by hard science and evidence, not anecdotal evidence. Your experience is shared by some people I have talked to, but who's to say that the stall in weight loss wouldn't have happened anyway, such a plateau that is a normal part of dieting? Perhaps you happened to experience a plateau and attributed it to the lower calories, when in reality it was just a stall in weight loss that would have evened out over time eventually. I haven't seen any evidence that people on a greater number of calories lose more weight than those on lower calories, but have seen plenty of evidence that attributes all weight loss to be a direct result of calories taken in vs. calories expended.

I think this stuff about "you have to eat more calories to lose weight" is a bunch of nonsense. Study after study has shown that calories in vs. calories out is what creates weight loss. Period. And for those who believe in "starvation mode", take a look at people who are literally "starving" such as like people who get trapped in the snow for extended periods, or people in other countries who literally don't have enough food. I'm sorry to be graphic about it, but you're not going to see a fat person in any of these situations. I think the whole "starvation mode" and "you have to eat at least 1,500 calories a day" thing is totally bogus. Also bogus is "you have to exercise to lose weight." No, you don't. Exercise burns calories, sure, but a recent study had shown that those who eliminated a comparable number of calories via dieting as via exercise lost the exact same amount of weight. Calories in vs. calories expended is what will determine how much weight is lost.

I use it as a lifestyle change. I remember before I was banded, and I would come on the board and say I was going to eat all the foods I loved before the band, just in smaller amounts, and people would jump down my throat and say "If you think you can go on eating the same fattening foods as before the band then you aren't going to be succesful." And they would go on and on about how it's not calories that count but rather the type of foods one eats, and that we have to make healthy food choices, etc etc. And I would fight and argue and say "but studies prove that calories in vs. calories out is what determines weight loss." and they would argue back and say I had to examine my emotional eating and why I crave "bad" foods, etc. Well, over a year later and 87 pounds down, I am very happy to report that I did not cut out any kind of food whatsoever. As a matter of fact I probably eat more fat now than I ever did before being banded! I eat exactly what I feel like eating on a given day or moment. And if that means cake and pizza, well then I will eat cake and pizza! I also have plenty of days where I enjoy wonderful healthy fish on top of lucious spring greens, though, too. For me, it's all about variety. If I feel like junk food, junk food I will have. I also eat alot of whole grains, lean Proteins, and veggies, because they are also delicious. For me it was never about "emotional eating", it was about hunger, plain and simple. Now that my hunger is under control I can really enjoy and savor all kinds of foods in small portions. I am so glad I didn't go into this thinking eveyrthing I ate had to be "low fat" and "healthy". A varied diet rich in both healthy foods and treats is what keeps me satisfied and happy! I wish people with weight problems would stop blaming themselves and start realizing that it's NOT our faults! When we are TRULY full and satiated, we stop eating, and we lose weight. My problem was that before the band, I was NEVER full and satiated. It's a huge relief to finally know what being full feels like!

I don't see how his comment rises to this definition. I'd say the term "nappy headed ho's" is degrading, woudn't you?

I think there should be very, very clearly defined lines of what is considered "hate speech" and thus unnaceptable for public broadcast. I am a very enthusiastic anti-censorship advocate, however I realize that there are absolutely some words that are not acceptable to the community at large over public airways. That's the reason why there is no cursing or nudity allowed on prime time tv. In addition, every corporation has the right to determine what is and is not acceptable speech within their organization. While I have never liked the idea of anyone being "fired" for words they have spoken, I understand the points I just mentioned above. In this case, I do think that this comment is hate speech and should thus be dealt with accordingly. That being said, I do wish the lines were more clearly drawn (perhaps voted on?). For example, I've heard lots and lots of hate speech coming out of the vile mouths of people like Anne Coulter, Bill O'Rielly, and Michael Savage, and yet they are all still on the air. I guess some groups just have more clout than others? Or maybe louder representatives? I don't know, but it would be nice if we could decide as a community, what is considered appropriate for public broadcast and what is not, and then stick strictly to those guidelines. Otherwise we do run the risk of a slippery slope into unacceptable censorship.

Alexandra, I, along with many others, have been thinking of you all day yesterday and today. I'm SO happy and relieved that when I finally got online just now, there was an update and it was great news! I am so happy that everything went smoothly, and that you're feeling well and are possibly getting another band soon! Great news all around! Please keep us posted regularly!

I too accept your apology 396. It is greatly appreciated. I too apologize for my angry rant. I do know that many Christians are loving and good people.

I decided to post a picture of myself before, and then one from last week in which I was wearing size 16 Old Navy pants!!! Ok, well, I have to be honest, the button and upper part of the zipper was open, but still, I was wearing them! I'm about 87 pounds down in this picture.

Oh wait, I just read the article. Are you saying that this situation is implausible? Ever see Jesus Camp? Especially the part where the leader says she admires Muslim terrorists and that we should be teaching our children to die for Jesus?

People have been blowing each other up in the name of religion for thousands of years. There is little reason to enter into a debate over which religion is more guilty. Anyone who is willing to kill another in the name of God, Allah or the flying spagetti monster for that matter is wrong. No one would kill in the name of the FSM, because FSM is a satire.

I just smell a troll, so perhaps by NOT reacting to his behavior, we can move forward in peace without having to say offensive things to or about any one particular group? Just my 2 cents.. On the one hand, I agree. On the other hand, to me, this a perfect example of "many" (notice I say many, not all) "Christian" people doing the following: 1. Cramming their beliefs down other's throats by blathering on and on about Jesus, who the majority of people on the earth DO NOT BELIEVE IN. 2. Saying inflammatory and degrading things about non-Christians. 3. Advocating hatred against Gays. But whenever I try to point out this kind of behavior from "Christian" people, I get branded as being "judgemental", "mean" and "nasty". This person here exactly proves many points I have been trying to make on certain threads that some "Christians" are really really nasty and want to take away Gay people's rights. And you know, I think I've been very very nice and polite about it, much more nice and polite than this person. I'm soooo sick and tired of pandering to this nonsense about Jesus. Jesus is a MYTH. I'm sick of people attacking Gays and Lesbians with hate speech in the name of a mythological figure who about as much validity as Santa Claus. Sick of it! I don't care any more. I am soooo done being polite about Christianity. It's people like 396Power that push me over the edge from being respectful to just plain being angry.

Sunta how do you make this: Renaissance salad (cabbage, spinach, baby greens and herbs, sweet pickles, green olives, mandarin oranges, golden raisins, capers, vinagrette) Well you just chop up the veggies and greens (I get those bags of spring greens and herbs mixed together), throw about a half cup each (or to taste) of all the other stuff in, and then dress it up with either homemade or bottled vinagrette, and toss. Couldn't be easier! And it tastes AMAZING. It's been a favorite of mine since I was a little girl and my mom would make it for a living history group we used to belong to called the SCA. They used to reenact the middle ages. I don't know if it's 100% authentic to the time period, but it sure is delicious!

Oh my gosh! That is truly terrible news! I feel like since I've been a member here (about a year and a half), every single person who I "know" (those who post alot) has slipped or eroded! It makes me wonder about the 1% statistic they give for slippage, and makes me fearful that eventually it will happen to me. My worst fear is not being able to keep liquids down. You sound like you have a great outlook though, and hopefully they will be able to repair the slip. Please do keep us contantly updated and we're all pulling for you!

I'm having just me, my husband, and two friends of ours. This is my menu: Homemade Pasta (from scratch) Homemade meatballs and marinara Ham Homemade potato salad Garlic bread Renaissance salad (cabbage, spinach, baby greens and herbs, sweet pickles, green olives, mandarin oranges, golden raisins, capers, vinagrette) Homemade bannana cream pie And here is what I made for Passover last weeK Crock pot coq a vin Roasted new potatos with garlic and olive oil Green Beans with lemon butter sauce Carrot and butternut squash kugel Noodle kugel Salad Flourless chocolate torte Did I mention I love to cook?

What a sad, sad story. All I can think is that maybe now her baby has somewhat of a chance at a normal life...

I'm divided on this issue. My Dad thinks all women should carry guns in their purses and be trained how to use them starting when they're teenagers! HAHAHA! He's crazy! I don't know. The gun issue is not a big concern for me. Criminals are still always going to have guns, period, and there's nothing we can do about it. I would be in favor of more strict laws and background checks before one buys a gun, but don't think I would favor completely outlawing them for private citizens, especially because I have heard of cases where women have fought off intruders or rapists in their home via use of their (the woman's) gun.