MrsFlipFlops

Oh gag, I was glad when this post started dying down! I'm not pro McCain, but let's be accurate here. He's for overturning Roe v. Wade, not for the purpose to disallow abortion, but for returning the power to decide to the states. He doesn't believe that the constitution allows the federal government to decide flatly that abortion is legal or illegal. Whether he's pro abortion or anti abortion is irrelevant as he's saying he wants the STATES to decide. Once that's done, McCain has no power to advocate a pro life or an anti life view as the states are now in charge. Secondly, McCain is pro adoption. Since adopting a child themselves, the McCain's have always advocated adoption as the first alternative to an unwanted pregnancy.

I was thinking about this last night... my perspective is kind of old school. When the surgery first hit the US back in 2001, you had to be at least 100 lbs overweight to get it. Slowly that requirement lowered. I guess I've always felt that requirement helped people keep it as a last resort. I mean, if someone who has just 20 lbs to lose, 10 lbs to lose can get it by being self pay or treating it like plastic surgery, what's keeping us from banding children who have family history of obesity? It's preventative, right? Going back to a previous post, are we going to treat people with chemo as a preventative tool? I know I sound anti, I really am on the fence about this. On one hand I know the pains of being not overweight, not obese, not even morbidly obese, I know the NEW category SUPER Mordibly obese... And I believe that people should do what they can to control their weight, and if that includes surgery, terrific. (there appears to be plenty of people in camp) On the other hand, I worry what being a surgery happy society will do to us. Not just superficially, but emotionally.

Glou- good question, one I might have to consider for a bit. I wish then I knew now how painful getting larger was. I wonder if that knowledge would have prevented me from doing so... although I suppose I'll never know. Jachut- I don't necessarily agree with plastic surgery either. We as a society are so caught up in image. I'm a little hypocritical though because I said I didn't have lapband partically for looks, I'd be lying. 80 percent health, 20 percent looks. But to be fair, the way we look will hold us back in career, relationships, and even the discount we get on cars and houses.

At 220 I felt like the fattest person around, but told myself I would never have surgery. At 280 I WAS the fattest person around, thought about surgery, but told myself I could do it on my own. At 330 I wanted the surgery, but my PCP told me to just exercise. At 380 I started having heart palpitations and thought I would suffer a heart attack in the next 5 years if I didn't have the surgery. Surgery to me is the VERY last option, I mean, beyond dieting, beyond going to a fat camp (which, btw is much cheaper), beyond hypnosis, counseling, etc... I mean, I tried EVERYTHING. I see some people who are at 200 and they get WLS and sure, I think they took the easy way out without trying anything. I wouldn't have ever had surgery at that weight. People have the right to do what they want, I don't disagree. I DO disagree, however, with surgeon's not fully enforcing other completely viable and less invasive options before surgery... instead, they're out to make a buck and are treating it like plastic surgery. As far as calling WLS the easy way out.... I agree it's not EASY, it's not just like magic... but comparatively to the options, it is easier, you can't disagree with that... that's why we all got it. We needed something to make the will power, the desire, everything, easier. I think a lot of it has to do with social surroundings as well. My family, although all big, were not very in favor of the surgery until I got it. Not having any interaction with many who had had the surgery probably formed their opinions as something unknown.

It's almost like we have to determine that we deserve to be healthy, thin, happy.

Well, I probably would've responded very similar to how a lot of people here have stated. My dh and I have cycles of communicating. Sometimes we're great at it, sometimes we suck. I once heard a quote, as I was sharing with my dh the other day. I don't remember who said it or exactly how it went, but it was something like "Friendship is what keeps us together while we fall in and out of love." Luckily, the moments we don't communicate on a deep personal level and we're just going about living life together, we've got this great friendship which makes it all worthwhile. Did you guys start your relationship with a friendship? Communication is key. I would sit down with him, no distractions, and talk to him. Try not to get offended. The times I get offended are when my dh closes down and stops sharing. Good luck.

Amen! I'm pretty clever when it comes to eating. I'm really grateful I got the band, don't get me wrong, but I feel like my whole world came to a crashing halt and without using food to help cope with ANY emotion (anger, frustration, even happiness) makes me not quite sure how to rebuild myself. I don't think preband I realized what a sacrifice emotionally I would be making. I did start journaling too, I got bored. I tend to do it on Sundays when I have more idle time. I exercise 3x/week. It IS hard to resist temptation and I think something valuable I've learned is to praise myself for EVERYthing. Like the other day when I was driving home, I had a really annoying day at work. I thought about stopping my McD's and grabbing a burger (I could eat sans bread!) This particular McD's was a previous weakspot as I normally stopped after work. I told myself I didn't have to drive past the McD's, I just had to drive past the exit. I got in the right lane to make it more difficult and I made it all the way home without stopping! I learned I have to praise myself for that. Some may think that's not a big feat, but for me, it was the equivalent to not stopping by a favorite bar for an alcoholic. I used to tell myself that that behavior was the expectation and chide myself for giving in. Now I tell myself how awesome I am for driving by. My whole life and my whole family's life revolves around food. I think that has made the process just more complex and difficult. I feel like I am learning, but it's so slow that I get frustrated.

Well, I finally finished reading the pages and now have a break in my schedule to post! I was talking to my sister last night, we went to a seminar because she's thinking about getting the lapband. She similar in height and weight and we have a lot of the same emotional issues and eating problems. She asked about temptations to eat. It's funny because yeah, I'm tempted to eat more than I should, or eat all ice cream or what not, but the times I'm tempted the most are when I'm emotionally feeling something that I don't have another coping mechanism for. I told her that the hardest part of having this surgery wasn't the pain, the fear, the learning to chew slowly... it was the emotional aspect! Anytime I eat too much or something bad for me I start saying awful things to myself. When I've had an emotional day I want to eat, but I have no other coping mechanisms! The ride emotionally has been pretty harsh and I've felt many times that I'm a mess!

Hm, yeah, I agree. I think there's a difference between insecurity and abusive control that's tied to insecurity.

I wouldn't think you need to pop out with it right away... I agree with the advice to wait until you're comfortable. I'm married, but my sis is about to have the surgery and has the same concern. I don't think the right guy would be scared at all. In fact, I don't think most guys would be scared. I guess I'm thinking... I had kidney stone surgery awhile back... and now have to drink lots of Water to prevent them from returning... I don't say that right away. I have asthma, but it's not one of the first thing I told dating people. I don't know if I'm making any sense. :Angel_anim:

Glou- yes we all do have baggage! :Angel_anim: But as my husband says, at least mine is cute and it all matches.

I haven't yet finished reading this thread, but thanks for posting everyone, this is totally helping me right now.

I've lost 50 pounds, but not quite there yet... about 27 more to go! I can't wait to see that 299 on my scale. My first NSV in a long time... I have a scale that doesn't go past 330. I surpassed it long ago, but couldn't bring myself to get rid of it. I always told myself I would use that dang scale... and finally this past week I DID! It wasn't magical, but I've carried that darn thing through several moves and it's FINALLY useful!

Of course they don't mention something negative, it's ADVERTISING. :Angel_anim: It's the thing that pulls you in. My doc at our seminar went over all the bad things. Of course, like it's been said, some people don't experience all symptoms and you don't truly KNOW until you're banded. (Like suddenly having bathroom urgency issues, what's up with that?) In Texas it's big business and there's LOTS of ads for it. We are one of the fattest states. :smile2:

Plain- so true, so true! It IS our job. If my hubby started making loads of more cash and traveling around the world, I'd need some reassurance too. I know he wouldn't cheat, but I would want to be reminded from time to time that he loves me. My hubby tells me (and has since we met) how beautiful I am, despite me thinking I'm not because of my weight. Is it his job to reassure me? Well, by this thread apparentely only to a point, or no... but I say yes! That's the support part of a relationship, even if annoying, people seem to miss.

This is what I've been saying all along! But I am against Obama, so this should come as no surprise.

Hey! I'm Heidi. I'm 25 and have been married to my husband for two years. We live in Texas. We're both in Finance. My passion is social work, but that's on the back burner right now. I've been heavy for as long as I can remember. I remember thinking I was heavier than the other kids at age five when I was in gymnastics. I'm writing a journal too! I find it helps with my emotions on this little journal... but I write it and keep it personal. I'm thinking maybe I'll turn it into a book someday. I just started a new hobby of working on my husband's genealogy. Mine is pretty far done and my whole family works on it, but my dh's has nothing done- seriously don't even have the 4 generation information. So, that's my newest adventure.

Hi Nancy! Welcome!! It's nice to talk to LDS Bandsters... somehow they understand somethings better.

I am 25 and had the surgery in Feb. I wish I had the courage to have had the surgery at 23, or 21, or younger!! When I graduated college at 21, I was around 315. I kept thinking I could do it without surgery. At 380 a few years later, I caved and knew I HAD to have the surgery. You're not that far from diabetes, high blood pressure, bad joints. The things that didn't bother me then, just a few years later, bother me now.

That's AWESOME! That totally made my day. Sometimes I feel so weird asking for something so small. We went to Popeye's at the airport the other day and I asked if they would sell me one chicken strip along with my hubby's meal! lol

I liked the doctor attended... in fact, that's how I chose my group. He talked with every person there like they were the only on in the room and took the time to answer all of our questions that he's heard a million times, I'm sure. Me personally, I like to get to know the doctor and the fact that he takes the time to come to every seminar makes me feel as though he truly cares. I knew I had to go with someone like that.

plain- hee hee. :smile: I LOVE your sarcasm. I almost lol'd right in my office! I'm wondering, too, what the difference in between a flip flopper and one who just changes their mind when they think about it and ponder with more information.

Leslie- in your shoulder? I haven't heard of that.

Felicia- oh don't worry, I knew it wasn't directed at me. :smile:

Maincat- the more I get to read your posts, the more I think you just like to rile of the crowd. :smile: I like the friends thing. I mean, keeping track of friends. I guess I don't really care if it's on the right of my posts or not. I don't look at people who have 0 friends as being friendless. I don't care. I add people so that I can remember to check on them and their progress. Don't put so much value on the feature. Then again, I liked the rep thing too, so maybe I'm not one to say. :tt2: