MrsFlipFlops

I don't know if this is good advice or not, but it's what I would do... My hubby and I eloped too... it was difficult for my family, but not to the magnitude that you described. There's only so much you can do before you realize your family is the one you and your husband build. It has taken me a while to realize that my husband should come first. Don't get me wrong, I am still very much involved in my extended families' lives, but I am learning that when I got married I made a committment to my husband and that takes precedence. So do you, you're important. I'd say if you and your hubby both don't want to go, then don't. Send a card, say you're sorry you'll miss it, then you and he go to a weekend away at a bed and breakfast or something. Or you could go to it, but just make a short appearance before you and hubby hit the town,

Warning: this may be TMI! BUT I don't know who else to share it with! So... this morning at church I feel a little strange, I hop into the bathroom and lo and behold, I'm spotting! I grab the tampon that's been in my purse for about a year and a half since my last period. It's really dark and very very light. Normally, I'm very heavy... so I'm thinking this is just day one. I am just so excited! I've been so heavy and haven't had a "natural" period since 2001ish. I went off birth control about a year and a half ago. I'm just so excited! I came back from the bathroom at church and wanted to tell someone, but figured that was definately an inappropriate topic for church. lol. I guess I'm just so thrilled because being banded was the first step to getting pregnant... getting my period is definately the second step. Now to lose all the weight and begin the baby factory! :thumbup: I told my husband, but I don't think he really understood the thrill. He actually said "Man, that takes out 25% of the year for sex." Men....

I was like that when I first got banded... I just had my 4th fill and am pretty restricted on what I can eat. In the morning I'm pretty tight, so I stick with yogurt or a shake. For lunch I have a tuna kit. About 4 hours later I'll have a snack (just a few crackers or fruit or something) and then dinner. Last night I had meatloaf, it was about a 3/4 cup, but I was stuffed. Now that I've had my fill, I can eat about 1/2 cup, but like I said, I do eat a snack between lunch and dinner. It's like my band can hold more throughout the day.

Well, this IS period talk, so I feel comfortable in asking. I have PCOS and I haven't had a period in about 18 months. On Sunday though I had a big throbbing pain on my left side and very very light and very dark (not even red, more like brown) discharge. I figured it was preemptive to getting my period, so I was psyched, but today, it completely stopped. Normally when I have a period it's really heavy and doesn't randomly stop. Any thoughts or advice? I figured I would wait it out a little bit and if the pain continued or something perhaps I'd go see a doctor. I guess I'm not too worried, just unexcited that I'm not getting my period back. :biggrin:

hee hee, I love this comeback.

Bree- what were you in Japan for?

I just wanted to toss is my two cents, I'm very sorry to hear this is all happening to you. I agree with the POA-- make sure you get POA for both medical and financial set up. They can be the same person, but it's best if they're not. Good luck.

Awesome! Yeah, I never dreamed the preop diet would have worked for me. I remember doing shakes, I guess I cheated too often!

My husband bought me a candle making kit for our anniversary. It basically came with the wicks, scents, and some wax to get you started. I bought more wax from a hobby store, and use random containers. I love it. It's so inexpensive. I do lots of candles all at once (because it's def. a long project). Since you have to wait till they cool, then pour again, the cool, then pour again. It's not hard, just kind of like laundry where you're getting up once an hour to move something. I recommend buying a starter kit, it will come with the double boiler, a thermometer and all the other things you'll replenish. Mine was about $15 then I spent 14 on the wax (for 15 pounds). 30 bucks and I've made candle after candle, a total deal. My whole thing about going green is finding ways to keep the things I love (candles, etc) while still being efficient and earth friendly. I get teased at grocery stores with my bags... unless I go to Whole Foods or local markets. But I don't care! :-)

Wow- if it were me I would have thanked you a million times! lol. I would think your day would have gone drastically different- giving away money and all!

I feel like I should clarify. It's not that I don't have sympathy for people, or that I'm living a lavish lifestyle in this financial environment. I'm really grateful I haven't had serious health issues, that I married a man who has and would work a million jobs if that's what it took, and one who didn't have any baggage from prior relationships. I'm grateful that I have a job that is (for now) secure and that if I did lose my job, we have family we can turn to for help. But I worry about our lifestyles and our mentality of entitlement. If I lost my job- you bet I would be mad. I don't blame you for feeling like a victim to your circumstances, I might feel the same way. We should all be grateful for the things we have been given, and realize that at ANY time, these things can happen to us, so we need to be prepared.

Wow, it should not cost 30 bucks for dinner! Even if it IS a fundraiser. Our scouts had a fundrasier dinner and it was 5 per person. Dangola!

Susan- that's highly offensive for you to assume you know that nothing in my life has happened that wasn't planned for. I'm not saying we should all carry crystal balls, although it would be nice... I'm saying every choice we make has a consequence. Whether we know it upfront or not. If someone calls someone they don't know, they made a choice. If a fraud person calls you asking for account information pretending to be your bank and you give it to them, you're making a choice to do that. I think it's MORE naive to think that the world is full of roses and that we should all pat ourselves on the back for doing such a good job, yet our job is on the line and our house is being foreclosed. I would say preparing for the worst even during the BEST of times isn't being naive, it's being careful and conservative. I could've bought a house on an ARM or had too high a payment, or made too little a down payment, or bought a house with not enough resources to fall back on, but I knew (as we all should have) that by making that CHOICE I am at the risk of the payment going up and not being able to afford it either because I make too little or because I could lose my job. Very few people who are in the mortgage mess, in my opinion, are so because of something greater than themselves. They took on too much house, with too high a payment, or with not enough savings or resrouces to fall back on. The majority, IMO, are there because they had classic American syndrome- buying things we can't afford so we can drive like the Joneses, have a house like the Jackson's, have cell phones and cable like our kid's friends have. Choices and responsibility. We are accountable. I bet you don't hear that often from a "young and naive" person.

I've worked with addictions for years. You should know it generally take 7 attempts at sober living before it works long term. If you're serious about getting clean, you're willing to do ANYTHING to do it, including inpatient. It's like being obese... I kept telling myself I'll limit my food... it NEVER worked. I had to literally put my life on the line to have surgery! And every day is a struggle. It won't just go away. Make yoursefl accountable to your friends and family. Let them all know you are stopping drinking and that they are to STOP you. Clean out all your alcohol from your home. Go to your favorite liquour stores and tell them you're not drinking and ask if they will tell you no when you come in to buy something. Go shopping at grocery stores with a buddy who will stop you from buying alcohol. If you are serious and you want your life back, there is NOTHING too big that will stop you. So first, determine if you're serious. Second, go get an assessment of your needs by a qualified alcohol assessor. LOTS of patient programs provide this for free. If they say inpatient, do it. It they say outpatient, do it. Like was said above, you may need medically supervised detox. Do it!

Everyone is accountable for themselves. Miz is just stating what worked for him. If anyone picks up on his thought, they are responsible for themselves and their actions. There is risk in everything we do, but we make choices that guide us to our fate. Us... not the market, the president, our boss, etc... the decision is ours. And our consequences are based on our own actions.

Your hubby sounds very supportive. My husband came as my support person too and sometimes reads this forum. It was good for him to come since he'll know about the band too. My preop diet was no carbs for two weeks, which sounds less strenuous than a week of clear liquids! :embaressed_smile: Good luck with that!

I don't know about that particular formet, but I know the church has a site about downloading church materials... Church Publications for Handhelds

I don't know how I missed this post! How did you pre op go?

Go Go GO to the DOCTOR! :tongue_smilie: I say that with all the care I have in my heart. Don't compare yourself to others. The doctor's have a lot of patients and have seen some people lose like crazy and some people lose a pound a month. The fill will help you. It may take several fills. I'm on fill 4 (? maybe 5) and I'm still needing to go in. I can eat SMALL quantities of bread and for a carb addict like you (and me) it SO helps with the cravings because one bite and I KNOW I can't eat anymore. Cherlita- food porn! I LOVE it!

Wow, an all day education class! Mine was like, 2 hours! Although, in hindsight I wish it was a full day. There was a lot of stuff I wish I knew preband... :tongue_smilie: Good luck!

You're not a failure! Like Jack asked, what's different now? When I look at my habits, I notice the times I stop losing are the times I get loose in my habits... drinking with meals, eating "soft" foods...

... when people (my sisters do this all the time) tease saying "Don't let Heidi smell it, she'll get full on just one whiff!"

Craig- that was such a good post, thank you. If we still had rep points I'd give you those. :tongue_smilie: detroit- I completely know how you feel. Last week I ate anything that would fit. It was an awful week and I beat myself up about it every day... yet did it again the next day. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I'm really struggling to give up my relationship with food. I keep telling myself it's okay to mess us. I go in for fills about once a month, which help a lot because I get to talk to the doctor face to face, I talk to the other people getting banded and I realize I'm not alone. I've slowed down a lot in my weight loss, about a pound a week if we run an average. Shocking because at first I was losing 2 or 3 pounds a week. But it's come off, and if it takes a pound a week, that's okay too. I go in feeling like I'm a failure because I lost 4 pounds in a month, but then the doctor tells me what a great job I've done and it makes me realize 4 pounds lost is way better than 4 pounds gained- which was me preband. I have good days and bad days... today happens to be a good day, where I'm feeling optomistic. My husband told me he was proud of me the other day. I was in shock because he's not really a mooshy feely type guy. But it made me feel so good, that I was finally doing something to take control of my life! And that is something to be proud of! So Detroit-- I guess that was a long post, sorry. :tt1: You mentioned not having support and I can totally relate. And I don't know if this will make you feel better, but I'm proud of you! I'm proud of all of us for doing something that took a heck of a lot of courage and fighting the good fight every day. Every time I eat it's a struggle, if we go out I worry "Will they have something I can eat? Will there be bread? Can I resist?" But I get through every meal, even when I cheat. Good luck!

ha ha, you're right, this IS an old thread!