Sunwyse

Welcome to all new members!! I've had lap surgery before to remove my gallbladder. Its no different to any other surgery - you get knocked out and when you come round, you have pain, the difference is its a lot safer than opening you right up. One word of warning though. I had a drainage tube inserted and when it came time to remove it, the stupid nurse tried pulling it out without opening the suction valve. Its like she was trying to suck my insides out through a straw!! MAKE SURE THEY OPEN THE VALVE!! My partner is really supportive, but against the idea of surgery to start with. He couldn't understand why I couldn't just diet and exercise to lose the weight. He did some research and came back with some not so great statistics. But he came with me to my first surgeon's appointment and when he realised they thought I would be a candidate he started to change his mind. His main worry was something might happen while I'm under and he'd lose me. He has since come around and now fully supports me 100% but it took a bit of work and a lot of determination on my part to assure him I'm planning a long and happy life! If your husband at first isn't so enthralled, don't take it personally. They often just see the extreme of needing surgery rather than focusing on the benefits. Give him time and he'll come round. Michelle

Nickers, when you start the job, speak to your new boss and inform them you will be needing time off for surgery, that you were not expecting to be given a date for at least a year, but you have suddenly been given one for X date and will need to take YYY much time off. They do not need to know what its for, but if you say its non-life threatening surgery they have to give you that time. As for telling people. Yep, I tell anyone who will listen. First of all its a person's right to tell or not. I choose to tell. For me personally, I believe in educating people about issues, such as weight and options out there. I've had nothing but support from family, friends, work mates and even the parents of the children I work with (I'm a child care worker). Nothing anybody says could change my mind anyway. It is right for me to tell people, that's who I am. I'm pretty open and honest about everything in my life. For someone who is more private, then it wouldn't be right to talk to people, so I'd say not too. How many people go around telling others they've had their hemoirrhoids removed? Not many, but its a great bloody relief, I can tell you! lol I know lots of people are going to ask me how I'm going and if I've lost any weight yet. But I don't see that as pressure, I see that as them taking a genuine interest in me and how I'm doing. As for people asking "Should you be eating that?" Well, all I can say is this is a learning curve for most people. Its amazing how many people don't know this exists. Unless its part of their life, they don't really know, so I'm going to get the traditional dieting questions. I'm just ready with the information I need to be passing on. As I said, I like to educate people. For anyone who would see it as pressure or stress, then I'd say don't tell.

To paraphrase: All it takes for evil to continue is for good people to do (or say) nothing. Do you believe everything happens for a reason? If you do, then you might wonder why all of a sudden so many people are coming to you with the same thing. Could it be that the universe or god is trying to tell you something? Do you think maybe its time you did speak up and let people know you won't be a party to what they are saying? Everyone has a right to their opinion, what about you? Don't you have an equal right to your own? The next time someone comes out with one of these comments, you can let them know you don't agree with them. Doesn't have to be rude, just to the point. When the Nazis came for the communists,[/url] I remained silent; I was not a communist. When they locked up the social democrats, I remained silent; I was not a social democrat. When they came for the trade unionists, I did not speak out; I was not a trade unionist. When they came for the Jews, I remained silent; I wasn't a Jew. When they came for me, there was no one left to speak out.

What on earth makes the OP think everyone here lives in some little town in the US?? I'm from Australia. Thank goodness we have a much more open and accepting attitude to differences in people than that! Oh and I'm bi, I'm an athiest and I'm left wing. No idea what liberal means in your part of town, but in Australia its the most conservative party going!

The other question is, if something can be done early to stop a person getting to the point of needing this operation almost as a life and death matter, should it be done? If a step can be taken that will prevent all the associated health risks developing and making having the band op so much more risky should that step be taken? Or do we say, no they can't take preventative health measures. Because I put on all this weight and suffered with short breath, heart palpitations, low self-esteem, cruel behaviour, the onset of diabetes (and whatever else you wish to add) - then everyone must have to reach this point too before they can do something about it. Is this really a case of "its not fair"? At the end of the day, lap band surgery is SURGERY. It has its risks. Its not a walk in the park for anyone, true its less risky for those who are smaller. This really is a matter for the individual and their surgeon to decide. Besides, I thought most Americans had to do the 6 month diet thing first? If they are doing that and the weight isn't getting down to a "normal" range in that time, then maybe they need the op as much as I do? Who am I to judge another until I've walked in THEIR shoes?

Basically, its harassment. Doesn't matter what feelings are involved. Keep a list of everything he's sent you and then if you really want to be rid of him for good, tell him to his face you will be making a formal complaint of harassment if he doesn't stop. Its up to you if you actually do or not.

I used to be a cleaner in an office block and I gotta say, I've found women who work in office jobs tend to be the most disgusting little creatures. The worst thing I found in the mens was someone would do no. 2 and not flush - big deal. In the womens, there was hair, make up, snotty tissues left ALL OVER the sinks and benches. Used sanitary items left out and unwrapped after use! I once worked in a remote area and had to clean a motel room after a female dentist had stayed in there one night. OMG!!!! When it came time to clean the bathroom, I think she'd had diarrhoea and missed the toilet completely. Lovely splatter pattern up the walls though.

The time has finally come and my first appointment at the surgeon's is today. I so can't wait. Lately, I've been doing all the day dreaming of what it will be like to be on the other end of the operation and starting my 'new life' in earnest. It was starting to feel like it was never going to come. I still have a few months before I can actually have it, but at least the road starts today. I'm also going to set up the op date today if I can, I want to have everything arranged as soon as possible. I'm really excited!!!!!

Thank you everyone. Its 2 days later and I'm still buzzing! lol

Thank you Hopelives124, its nice to hear about women who have been there done that. I'm very much looking forward to having a child at some point next year.

Put an elastic band around your wrist that sits snuggly against you. Not much happens. Now pinch a bit and start to twist. You will feel a small restriction to the wrist. Now, twist some more and the restriction gets tighter. It starts to hurt a bit and impedes blood flow. That's basically how the band works. It doesn't really do much on its own. It sits snuggly against the top of the tum and that's about it. The fills are the equivalent of twisting the elastic band. They are the secret, each making the passageway for food just that little bit smaller until you hit that magic place.

srsmith, I know exactly what you are going through. I was 22 when I was diagnosed with PCOS and told my chance of every having a child was slim. I'm 41 and still have no child. I've tried every diet, even made up a few. I'd lose some then hit a wall and it'd all come back and bring a few friends! It wears you down because you do everything the books say you should and you don't get the results. On top of that is attitudes of people in the street who think you are stupid cause you can't lose the weight! And that doesn't include family and friends who haven't got the slightest idea. So, why is this time different? Well, there's a couple of reasons, I don't think they really know all the reasons yet, but basically I know of 2. 1. The stomach doesn't really have any nerve endings, most of them are around the top part of the stomach where the band sits. They let the brain know when to signal you are full. The current theory is food moves too fast past these in some people and they don't get enough stimulation to trigger the brain, so we may eat more than we need or we get hungry again really quickly. The band puts a constant pressure on these nerves so they are constantly stimulated and tell the brain we have enough in our tummy. 2. It actually constricts the size of the opening the food can go through. If you eat solid foods after the first month, they are too bulky to just slip through so the band causes a sort of blockage or dam wall to hold it all there. While its there you feel full. Slowly it will slip through - like a couple of hours later - and the sensation of needing something in your tummy will disappear. 3. So many women with PCOS have been through this and it has worked in every case where the person has done their part of the programme. Its not a case of get it and forget it. You still have to do the hard work, you still have to watch what you eat and exercise, the difference this time is you have a buddy, a partner to help, who will do its share of the work if you do yours and together you WILL SUCCEED. I've been through the dispair of trying all sorts of things and seeing them fail time and time again. I've been where you are. I was actually where you are when I first heard about this, why would it work for me. Nothing else has, but I turned that around. What is so special about me that it wouldn't work for me where it has for thousands of other women in my exact same position? See, I've seen the evidence in others. I know it works and I know my body is just a body. Its not defective in some special way that nobody else has. It has an hormonal imbalance sure, but so do many of these other people and its worked for them. So, logic tells me it will work for me. I've decided to accept it is a fait accompli this time. As long as I play my part, I will lose the weight - and I will definitely play my part. So, I've gone to ebay and bought myself some very nice clothes in a size 12 (about a US size 10). I would never have dared to do this before, but I am so convinced this time it will work that I've done this as my further incentive. I was exactly like you this time last year, "that'll never work for me" and now I am 180 degrees opposite. I KNOW it will work. I've decided to accept the evidence of countless people in many countries who have had success. I simply will not accept anything less than reaching my goal weight within 18 months and also getting pregnant along the way! And you know what? I KNOW it will work for you too.

If they won't cover it, look around at other insurers. They have to accept any waiting time done with other insurers.

Congrats. This is excellent news, works out all round really.

I'm still to have my surgery. I've had around 3 periods a year most of my life. No set time though, they could be evenly spaced or all come one after the other and then no more for 15 months! Well I had one about 2 months ago and wouldn't you know it, today was my first appointment with the surgeon and I go and start my period yesterday! Funny how it all works.

I've had PCOS since 13, diagnosed at 22, now 41. I met with my surgeon for the first time today. He said that the band causes PCOS symptoms to go into recession. Basically, when your weight gets close to average, the symptoms all disappear. Because all this excess hair is the result of too much androgen (male hormone) from the hormonal imbalance, they should go back to what is more 'mormal' for women once the hormones rebalance. My arms are hairier than most men I know. Very much more so than my partner!! They are less hairy now because of years of waxing, but still heavier than most men. I used to shave my chin (ashamed to admit) but then had electrolysis for 4 years and now most of its gone. Still do pluck the occasional stray one though. I'm waiting to see if the band will get rid of it all once the symptoms have gone. I am so hoping so!

That is awesome news. Congrats. No, I don't think men can ever really understand what periods mean to women psychologically. I was on a weekend trip once and all the women got together and did the usual bonding talk - when I got my first bra, when I got my first period, etc. I said I really enjoy having my period. They didn't get that either, then I explained that having PCOS means I get maybe 3 a year if I'm lucky. When I do get them, yeah its painful and I feel icky, but it reminds me that I am a woman and have a unique ability - to create new life. I feel that periods really are a blessing - in a perverse way lol.

Hi Lizalee, that's really good advice. I've heard the weight thing will go up and down a bit at the start, while the body is learning how to work with the new band. I think we can expect too much at times and need to remind ourselves that healing takes time. I didn't get this size in a matter of weeks, its not going to go in a matter of weeks either. Its a life long journey. You'll get there. Now is the time to start allowing yourself to relax a little and enjoy life more.

Hi all, I'm Michelle, 41, bi and living in Australia. I live with a male partner of 3.5 years now, though haven't ruled out one day having a girlfriend. We are a little unconventional as a couple, so it isn't impossible. I work in child care at the moment, but plan to go back to Uni the year after next - will see what I do then. I've had a weight problem since I was 13 and now's the time to do something about it. We are planning on having a bub in about a year's time, so that will be exciting.

Not necessarily a straight male. More like a very young girl (more emphasis on mental maturity than age). A lot of the new wave of young lesbian/bisexual women seem to have this 'lookest' thing going on. I blame the number of very thin, sexy lesbians that have popped up on mainstream tv for it. At first women-loving women were invisible, then suddenly they only because acceptable if they were the 'we fill straight men's fantasy idea of a lesbian' ilk. I think many younger women have gotten caught up in the whole 'its how you look' thing that's going on. Its a shame, but hey, they grow and learn. As I've always said, I may be with you because you're beautiful but what have I got if I go blind tomorrow? Looks aren't everything.

Hiya lellow. thanks. Yes, it all went really well. Saw the nurse, then was taken in to see Dr Copp. A very nice man I have to say. A down to earth, character, which is always attractive I think. My date has been set for 22 October, so now all I have to do is arrange the psych and dietition appointments for next month, then get the bank loan. He also told me that if I need to have a tummy tuck down the track, my health insurance will cover it because its sort of a result of this procedure, so that's really good to know. For me, the bonus was that his offices are on the ground floor. I have a severe fear of heights and had to pull my partner out of work to take me. Partly because its a fair way from where we live, but mostly because I didn't know what floor he would be on and for me, going up one floor in a strange building is a serious ordeal. So that was so nice and welcome. When we walked out, I felt really sick. I'd actually been more nervous than I had realised. I then shouted my beloved to a coffee and cake to say thanks for supporting me in this. He truly is an amazingly wonderful man. Roll on October!!

Hey! I was offered 4th September as well - until it was realised I needed AFTER October 18 lol. We could've been on the same day, oh well! Glad you had a good appointment, so did I. Totally agree with what you say, very down to earth and very likeable.

"And don't worry, I have had a number of clients tell me in their first few sentences that they didn't want to see me" That's plane rude. Of course they want to see you. Its part of getting the surgery - and they want the surgery right? Well, if they want it badly enough, then you'd think they'd be happy that they only have to see X number of professionals and maybe do a bit of dieting before hand. Could be worse, we could be made to jump hoops and do a weight training boot camp for a week before.

My appointment is at 3.30pm today, so I don't think we will see each other :thumbup: But I am going to the Brisbane get together on 3 August at Milton, if you go as well, we can meet up then :smile:

GrannyL, if you are seeing Dr Copp at Greenslopes, then yes, you have to see the psyche and also a dietition. But if you have the gap and you've had health insurance for at least a year, then he'll be able to fit you in to the first available, possibly Sept? As for the trip, go for it. You can have any fills removed or lessened for while you are away, then come back and have some put back in. You only need approx. 4 weeks after surgery to be back on solids again. At least, ring the surgeon's offices and say that you want to book your op for as close to the first appointment date and would they be willing to make a tentative scheduling for you now? It can't hurt to ask.