theantichick

I once worked somewhere that our boss was required to give x% of people meets, x% below, and x% above. That sucked. It lasted exactly one year and then her boss went to the corporate guys and said "we don't hire, or at least don't keep on anyone who doesn't meet expectations, and we work to hire top talent, so don't hold us to some malarkey bell curve nonsense". They still had to limit merit raises to a certain % of the department, but at least our boss didn't have to cater to that nonsense on the reviews anymore.

Awesome, congrats!

New spot on BP for the Spoonies to gather! Mingle, exchange information, vent... The only rule I employ is Wheaton's Law... http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/wheatons-law. If anyone wants to co-moderate, let me know and I'll add you.

Ok, this is odd. There are two ways to get to the group discussion area: This is the group homepage through the "groups portal: http://www.bariatricpal.com/groups/455-sleeved-spoonies/ This is the forum listing under the social support forums: http://www.bariatricpal.com/forum/1258-sleeved-spoonies/ I checked and made sure that the group is set to public. And @@shrinkingkimber you are listed as a group member and no one is pending approval. So there shouldn't be anything blocking you. Of the links above, do either of them work for you? It looks like you're on your phone and trying to get to the group through the subscribed button at the top, is that correct? We may need to report this to BP support. I've managed a lot of discussion boards, and while I don't think I've used this particular BB software, they're all very much alike. I set everything up as public, so there shouldn't be any protected anything, except maybe the group control panel. :/

That's weird. Let me turn on the computer and see if I can figure it out. Sent from my SM-N920T using the BariatricPal App

I met with my NUT for the pre-op visit, and it is always amazing to me to see how different the guidelines are from different offices and such. I am only going to be doing the modified liquid for 2 weeks prior to surgery, until then they want me on a 1500 cal exchange type program with a Protein goal of over 100 g. I asked about the carb thing because I'd seen so many militant about low carb here, and I get ill if I drop my carbs too low. She says she likes to see 80-100 g of carbs, below 50 g you go into ketosis, and she doesn't think that's a good idea. Where others severely limit carbs and are trying to get into ketosis.

I know I'm late to the party, but I am almost done with my 2nd Mirena. I thought it hurt pretty bad, and had menstrual-level cramps for a couple of days afterwards. I don't want to scare you, but I had it out and another put in, and that was worse. Not like exponentially worse, but definitely worse. I rate everything to the pain of childbirth or dislocating a knee, since those are my references. This was more like the worst ankle sprain I've ever had, so maybe a 7 on a pain scale of 10 (with 10 being the aforementioned knee dislocation) for the inital insertion and an 8 for the removal and re-insertion. Now, that only lasted for the time it took to do the procedure. After that I'd say it was a 5-6 for several hours. I know you can't take Advil, but that's what I took that night and before bed, and it was down to 3-4 for bad cramping by the next morning. I'll likely be doing it again, since at 46 I can apparently still get preggers. :/ But I have to say, I've had exactly 3 "periods" since getting my first one 9 years ago, and that is SWEET. I also suffer from migraines and they decreased for me with the Mirena. My 19 year old had the implant put in and she said that was nothing much, just a couple of stitches.

I haven't had the surgery yet, and had to quit ER because of my arthritis (RA/PsA) but if the lifting restriction is 15 lbs, there's not much in the ER's I've worked in I could do. Maybe fast track/clinic, but even then you have the odd patient that needs moved from a wheelchair to the bed or such. Even lifting a leg to help with a cath insert is more than 15 lbs for most adults.

Water walking is seriously one of the best things I did when I was recovering from knee surgery. Not quite at 300 lbs at that time, but still pretty heavy. I still can't walk far or even think about running, but the recumbent bike is also pretty good.

I will add one more piece of advice. Do not, under any circumstances, agree to keep any joint financial accounts (primarily debt accounts) open with your soon-to-be-ex. If you have any joint accounts, you need to contact the financial institution and close the accounts. For debts you'll still have to pay them, but you do not want either of you to be able to keep charging on them, and you will if they are open. The divorce judgment will assign debts to each of you, but the judgment is NOT BINDING on your creditors. If a credit card or car payment gets assigned to the Ex, and he defaults, it will come back on you. Demand if he's keeping something like a car with your name on it, that you get your name off of the loan. I ended up playing the game with Ex#1 for over 12 years with a credit card I allowed to stay open, and ended up with it in default and I didn't know until I got rejected for a car loan. Just don't do it. Your attorney should advise you of stuff like that (I didn't listen) but if they miss it, you'll need to mention it.

So funny story. Ex#1 and I lived in a house my parents owned. My parents aren't rich, but Dad doesn't believe in debt so they do pretty well. They had bought a house from my aunt and were thinking about going into rental properties. Ex#1 and I put some of our own money into the reno, mainly because Ex#1 wanted stuff that was above and beyond what Mom & Dad were willing to put into a rental. No biggie. So I got preggers and Ex#1 wasn't working (long story) so Mom & Dad never charged us any rent because they knew it was all on me. I finally had had enough, and kicked him out (then let him back then kicked him out again... longer story). So we're in our preliminary hearing, and he has done the equivalent of bringing a knife to a gun fight. One of my dear friends was a very well connected and prominent family practice attorney in the county we lived in, and she hated Ex#1. So obviously she was my go-to. He brought someone his Mom got a 3rd hand referral to, and his guy was a REAL ESTATE attorney. ::headdesk:: Anyway, he brought a list of ridiculous demands, and my attorney kicked his attorney back a few times, and there were like 3 things he was determined to put in front of a judge. They were all stupid, but the worst was that he wanted 1/2 the value of the home and spousal support since he wasn't working. I live in Texas and we had a female judge, if you can tell how far this was going to fly. The judge had both of our financial worksheets in front of her. She could see as a single parent I was barely getting by (and my parents were charging me a grand total of $500/mo in rent by that time) and asked him where he thought I was going to get that kind of money. He said, "her parents can afford it". The judge rolled her eyes and informed him that my parents weren't party to the divorce suit, their finances were not relevant, we were renters, and he was out of luck. It's amazing to me how some people can feel so entitled. Bottom line, his money problems are his. Not yours, his. No longer your worry. And it doesn't matter what he will have to replace, or if he thinks you really need it or not. Period. You get everything you brought into the marriage, and 1/2 of what you guys purchased during it. (Legally, the first part depends on what state you're in, but realistically, if you brought a couch into the marriage, it's yours.) Anything more than that you're willing to concede is out of the goodness of your heart, and you should feel free to tell him that. He's got to learn to stand on his own feet and adult up. It doesn't matter who "needs" it more. It would matter if there were kids involved, but there aren't, so build that wall around your heart and don't let his whining about "fair" sway you. That's not to say anything is worth fighting in court, because of everything I already said. If something is going to become a court issue, just let him have it. It is cheaper than attorney's fees.

I am allergic to aspartame (well, it's a migraine trigger, not really an allergy) and I like Splenda, but I've noticed lately I get a nasty aftertaste with it. I use monk fruit sweetener in my coffee, stevia always had a weird taste to it. I wish there were more options with the sweeteners out there. I'm hoping there isn't aspartame in the Protein drinks/shakes (I just ordered a variety to taste test, I'll likely be having surgery in July). Is there a particular stevia you've found doesn't taste odd?

Having been through 2 divorces, I have some experience to share. #1 - ask yourself if any personal possession is worth the fight. I guarantee you if you make a court battle over anything, it will cost you multiple times more than just replacing the object. #2 - if you haven't had a preliminary hearing, then technically everything is still as much yours as his. Like others have said, bring a witness and/or video tape what you take and what you leave. But quit worrying about what he thinks. Which brings me to #3 - you're getting a divorce. I didn't catch whether he initiated this or you did, but ultimately it doesn't matter. The marriage is over in all but name. Cut off contact except in writing about legal issues or dividing stuff. What he thinks or says about you is irrelevant. You need to look out for yourself. He is no longer obligated to watch out for you or your feelings, nor you his. He's going to say you're the devil incarnate, it's a given. He may or may not get over that, but it's NOT YOUR PROBLEM. It's none of his business if you need it now or not. BTW, a therapist is always a good idea if you are having issues with boundaries or emotions after a divorce. As far as getting your stuff, anything you brought into the marriage, take it if you want it. Anything you bought during the marriage, you are entitled to 1/2. If he won't agree on a reasonable date, inform him (preferably in writing) what date and time you will be there, and he gets to choose if it's important enough for him to be there. I didn't see anything about kids, so I'm assuming you don't have any. Kids are the one thing it's worth getting an attorney for. Anything else, unless it's an irreplacable heirloom (in which case go get it ASAP) it's NOT worth the attorneys' fees and court fight. If you have no kids and no appreciable assets, joint file without an attorney if you are getting along well enough to do it. If not, get an attorney who will do it as inexpensively as possible and make sure the attorney knows you don't want a court battle over anything. There are even attorneys that do uncontested divorces for a flat fee and file all the paperwork and only one attorney is needed. Bottom line, the only people who win in divorces are attorneys. Best of luck to you! It *does* get better. A LOT better.

My primary doc has been pushing me for GF for years. The nutritionist I had to see pre-surgery was pushing it as well. I know some people do get significant relief from changing their diet. I just wish people wouldn't assume that because I can't/won't go GF or Paleo or whatever that I don't really care about getting better. There are more people with autoimmune that see no improvement with a change of diet than those who do. It obviously works for some people, but that doesn't mean it will work for everyone. I'd try it if I could manage it, just to see if I'm one of the people who would benefit, but like I said, I'm doing good if we stop eating out/drive through multiple times per week. Baby steps.

My daughter has alopecia totalis, started when she was about 12. We tried the topical creams and treatments, but I drew the line at systemic steroids and we focused on getting her the best scalp prosthesis we could. She did incredibly well once she moved to a vacuum wig and a couple of years ago her hair started growing back. She ditched the wig about a month ago (she's 19 now) and is growing in a full head of hair with only one thin spot. Now she's been diagnosed with an auto-immune arthritis, so we're heading down the rabbit hole on that one now. Hugs for going through it, it's terribly traumatic.

@@Scorpion11 I got the best results once I got referred out to a rheumatologist. Not all of them are as good as mine, but that's the specialty that usually has the most experience with autoimmune especially when it starts affecting the joints. Prepare for huge amounts of blood to be drawn, and lots of xrays! And sometimes it takes a while to get a diagnosis. I didn't show any specific factors in my bloodwork, just generalized inflammation. I had to go off the steroids (the only thing that ever gave me relief) and deal with the pain for a few months (without even Advil) before the swelling in my hands could be seen. Then my doctor gave me a diagnosis of non-serologic (no bloodwork that specifically indicates) rheumatoid arthritis last year. I'd been seeking a diagnosis for the pain and fatigue for about a year - I understand the average time from symptoms to diagnosis is around 5 years, so I count myself lucky. Then a few weeks ago a new symptom (plus an old symptom my doc had ignored) pointed to a new diagnosis of psoriatic arthritis. Not much of a change in the treatment, but it did move us along to a biologic medicine faster than we would have gotten there with the RA. Good luck, I hope they're able to find out what's wrong with you!! Edit to add: BTW, the WLS won't be the ONLY cause if you do have auto-immune. It can't cause it on its own. But if you had an underlying auto-immune problem, and just hadn't seen symptoms yet, then the trauma and stress of surgery and recovery could have activated it. It's a fine distinction, but one I think is important. Stress and trauma are known to trigger or flare auto-immune.

http://www.bariatricpal.com/forum/1258-sleeved-spoonies/ It's down in the support groups under social groups. I made it open, so pass it along. We will probably need a better logo and banner, I just threw up what I found easily on Google Images. Spoonies Unite!!

Auto immune runs in my family too. I have an aunt with MS, a grandfather with psoriasis, a cousin with internal scleroderma, a grandmother with rheumatoid arthritis, a sister worth lupus, and a daughter with both alopecia and non- radiologic SPA. I just shut my computer down for the night due to a storm coming in, but tomorrow I'll set up a spoonies group. Sent from my SM-N920T using the BariatricPal App

Grrrr. I hate it when someone tells you what you're thinking, that is so rude. I'm so glad my current hubby doesn't do that. Hang in there, it sounds like he's getting more worried now that it's becoming real to him.

I don't like sleeping with my CPAP, but my goodness it makes such a difference in how I feel. I am hoping the weight loss after surgery will eliminate my need. My insurance paid for it, with a co-pay. I had an FSA for all of my out of pocket needs, so I honestly don't remember how much I had to pay, I'm wanting to say it was $100 - $200. My insurance pays for my supplies with I think a $45 copay for 3 month's of supplies (which last me almost a year). There are places you can get CPAPs for little or no money, the National sleep Foundation has a program. As a nurse, I will tell you it's best to get it treated, even if it is short term. It has so many health implications, from high blood pressure to stroke to weight gain... it's nothing to be messed with. And in the hospital, they'll have you on a pulse ox during your recovery, and if your oxygen keeps dropping, they'll keep waking you up. And it's hard enough to sleep in a hospital without that!!!

We need a spoonies group. I found out a couple of weeks ago that what we thought was rheumatoid arthritis is psoriatic arthritis. I asked my rheumy what she thought about bariatric surgery and the timing, since the change in diagnosis means moving to biologics (methotrexate failed, and sulfasalazine is helping some but not a lot). She was very enthusiastic about it. She says that leptin affects PsA inflammation factors directly, so losing all that stomach tissue that secretes it is a help all on its own. Fat cells also secrete factors that contribute to inflammation. So I'm going to have the surgery before we start Stelara. That way I can keep taking the sulfasalazine until 3 weeks before surgery, and then start the Stelara as soon as I'm healed enough from the surgery (she said about 3 months, maybe as long as 6). While I don't expect the surgery to cure my PsA, I know that losing 100 lbs or so will be very helpful to my joints, and with the hormone changes, it might help the biologic work better. I am looking forward to being able to be active again. My PsA caused me to have to abandon bedside nursing and my plans to become a nurse practitioner. While I am glad I had the option to go back into healthcare IT (I was an IT analyst for years, nursing was a mid-life career change), and at this point won't try to go back to direct patient care (biologics will make it too easy for me to pick up infections), I still want to get active again. I've been a couch potato for the last couple of years with the fatigue and pain, and it's not as fun as it sounds.

I've ordered variety samplers from several places to try and find Protein shakes I like. I've got a very finicky palate when it comes to the Meal Replacement shakes. I like that BariatricPal and Unjury have sample packs so you can try stuff.

Congrats!! To be clear, it's not the permanence I was having an issue with. It was the thought that it would be a permanent change requiring a very unnatural eating plan forever. I had the thought that the eating 3 months or 6 months out was what you stuck with forever. If that were the case, it would be like exchanging one eating disorder for another. Everyone here has helped me get a better picture of what the eating looks like 2 or 3 or 5 years out, and it looks very different from what I'd envisioned. It's super helpful to get input from people who have been living with it long term. I really appreciate everyone sharing their experiences.

Fight it, fight it, fight it. I had a horrible experience trying to get a knee surgery approved that the insurance company said was investigational and experimental. If I could figure out a way to make money at it, I'd start a business helping people fight insurance companies. Step 1 - find out if your insurance is a "regular" insurance that your employer buys, or if your employer has "self insured" and pays the insurance company to manage it. The reason this is important is because if you have "regular" insurance, then you have a much better chance of fighting it with your state insurance board. If your company has "self insured" then the state board has no jurisdiction, and you have to look at the federal ERISA laws to govern your policy. I agree with the other posters who say get the recording pulled. You need to know exactly what they told you and what they didn't. Pull every EOB from your insurance (they should be accessible through the website) and get a detailed billing from every doctor, lab, hospital, anesthesiologist, etc. that you used. You will need to reconcile these against each other. Also ask your doctor's office for copies of any documentation they have about their conversations with insurance. My experience involved 4 sets of appeals, where I sent over 300 pages of documentation and exhibits about peer reviewed studies and protocols. After I found out that they had sent me down the wrong levels of appeals, I started quoting chapter and verse of the federal regulations and laws they had violated, and then all of a sudden my surgery got approved. Then a glitch in their system caused a $10,000 payment to just disappear... took me 2 weeks post-op while I'm doped to the gills to reconcile everything and get a 3rd level supervisor on the phone to review my reconciliation with her system up to find the computer glitch that caused the problem, and get it fixed. It's not easy to win with the insurance companies, but it is possible. Best of luck to you!!!

I'm only a third of the way through the comments on this one, so I apologize if this has already been said. Some people have commented that if overeating wasn't the problem, the sleeve may not be the answer. I just read a new study that indicates ghrelin isn't as much of an appetite hormone as previously thought, but likely has a lot to do with regulating fat storage. So removing the part of the stomach that does most of the ghrelin production may by itself alter enough of the fat storing process to make a difference, even if overeating wasn't the issue. From my own research, I don't think we know all there is to know about how all the hormones that are altered by the surgery work. And likely won't for another 50-60 years. In the meantime, we are getting more and more long-term data that shows that the surgeries are good options for a wide range of people, and we're learning a little bit as to why. So I don't think the OP made a bad choice with the surgery. And everyone's experience is different, we should all keep that in mind.