Wheetsin

DD is going to be 3.5 yrs next month. I have some concerns about how she will process (cognitively) mommy only eating tiny amounts of food. When I had my band she wasn't really old enough to notice or mimic my behaviors, and when she was old enough I was slipped and mostly maintaining voluntary portion control so my meals were largely "normal" or I could just tell her "mommy's not hungry" or "mommy doesn't feel good in her tummy" and she wasn't yet picking up on the recurring pattern. This is going to be a totally different scenario. I know the effects that mothers with eating disorders can have on their children, especially female children. I'm starting to think about how I can help my daughter not be affected by continuously seeing mommy eat only tiny amounts of food, and process it in a way that's mentally healthy. What are you mommies of young ones doing to help your kid(s) not begin to see your few bites as a "normal" meal, and thus migrate that into their own eating disorders?

I have a bad habit of information overkill. I really do.

We have very similar stats. I'm 5'10. I really don't know what my starting weight will be. I intentionally don't own a scale so I will have them weigh me the morning i go in (Tuesday). My low with the lapband was about 210, I think. I had just broken a long stall and was heading down again, then found out I was pregnant. Gets hard to remember exact weights after a handful of years. When my band was removed about 6 months ago I was about 290 so I'm probably now in the neighborhood of 330, judging by what my sizes have done. My healthy BMI weight would be about 175. I think I'll be thrilled with anything under 200. Although I haven't had my sleeve yet, with band and lost about 200 lbs. Here are my thoughts on your struggles. Getting 70g of Protein a day it is more like 50-60g... Are you still using protein shakes/supplements or are you able to get in your 60g on solids? I think 50 - 60 of solid protein is better for you in the long run than 70g from a supplement source, if you had to choose between the two. If you want to boost it, try little things like adding a teaspoon of unflavored Protein powder here and there... in Soups, into a pudding, whatever. If you have a number goal, every little bit will help. Drinking enough Water... I'm a chugger and I could chug with my band as long as I hadn't just eaten, so I will struggle with this too. I know I will. In fact, it's the single behavior around how I eat that I'm actually expecting to fight. I've already had to change all the other behaviors so it's more like "been there, done that." Dying for a coke from Mcdonalds... I used to be a big diet coke drinker. My first several weeks banded I craved, specifically, the burn from the carbonation. After that went away I was OK. 2 or 3 years post-op I decided to try a drink. It was one of the nasies things I had ever tasted. So... try to look at it this way. If you want to avoid drinking the Coke, just think about how completely synthetic and gross it's going to taste. Plus - that carbonation I used to love... really hurts now. I don't see how people do it. I cant' see the weight loss in myself/ mirror... (This is my big one) There is no cure for this other than changing your brain, and there's no quick way to do that. I see you have progress pics. So you know the change is there. Honestly, you may never see it. It may take years and years and years. You may have some defenses in place, like being afraid to believe it because dieting has taught you that it's all just temporary. I was down 200 lbs and would still be completely amazed when an old piece of clothing would hang like a tent on me. I ad, and still don't have, any concept of what I truly look like, in terms of physical body. I still feel larger than everyone around me... That will go away. It took me about 18 months. Mentally you're still the fat girl. About 2 years post-op I was out with some friends. There was a group of guys near us and one of them kept sort of blatantly staring at me. I was seriously getting pissed off, and was very close to saying something to him. One of my friends was like, "Duh, you're a tall, cute redhead. OF COURSE he's staring at you." It NEVER occurred to me that it would be a positive stare. I don't think I would ever assume attention was positive, ever. And it's all stemming from that "concept of self" that our weight has taught us. It was so common sense to her that it was positive attention, and so automatic to me that it was negative. Even though I was down to "a little pudgy" at that point, how I pictured myself in clothing or my mind's eye was still pre-op me. Which is REALLY weird, because pre-op, I always pictured me before I got fat and was devestated when I'd see a picture and realize Oh snap, I'm THAT fat?? Why can't I see it?? HTH. And BTW, do you realize you're almost at goal and it hasn't even been a half a year?!?! Do I really need to tell you how rockstar that is?

Shrinking the liver is just one of the things a liquid diet will accomplish. There are things you will gain from a liquid diet that a diet with solids, regardless of carb count, will not achieve. Such as: No solids or residues in the digestive tract. Any time a surgeon is going to be cutting into any part of your GI system, you really, really don't want any solid matter in there. It can have a benefit when dealing with post-op nausea - it's easier and generally more pleasant to expel liquids. It helps you get properly hydrated before a major surgical procedure. Better hydrated you are, the easier/quicker your recovery will be. Reduces liver size AND clears the colon. Body does not have to work hard to digest whatever is in the system. HTH BTW, this will be my 2nd WLS. Both times, I've been given a 2 day diet of clear, sugar free liquids.

This thread reminded me of one that came up a few years ago on another of Alex's WLS boards. I believe the OP was worried someone would see her lady parts if she couldn't wear underwear. Here's how I answered, nearly 5 years ago. At least I'm consistent!

Marchies. My surgery is scheduled for Tuesday March 27. I plan to make this sleeve my b***h.

I'm sure you will, but stay on top of them & be your own advocate. I trusted my surgeon's people to get it done properly, and as a result my approval took over 4 months longer than it needed to. Go on your liquid diet first, so you're grouchy when you call. (I ended up driving to my surgeon's office and surprise visiting the coordinator. She didn't appreciate it, and I didn't care. After that, she called me within 5 minutes each time she faxed something, and I always called to confirm they had received.)

Little late to answer considering, but I would've have said "could be." When my mother had gallbladder attacks you would've thought she was having a heart attack. When I had them, I just felt icky, like I needed to burp or poop or something, in various & changing places around my abdomen but it would last for 6 - 18 hours and always hit during the wee hours. A co-worker of mine had an attack at work and just dropped to the floor screaming. He told me later he thought something had fallen and impaled him.

Call your insurance company yourself. I got tired of waiting for my surgeon's cronies (I am not known for my patience, and at that point had already been delayed about 4 months) and had my insurance company on speed dial. Just tell them your surgeon's office was supposed to have submitted a surigcal preauthorization and you wanted to make sure it had arrived.

Mine is scheduled for the 27th. I've had a few crap already?! moments, but I think I'd still be ticked off if they rescheduled. It's good that you're able to take it in stride and find the positive side of it, you know, since you don't have any choice and stuff. Had you started any type of preop diet, that you will have to either maintain or restart? Picked up any Rxs ahead of time you need to make sure not to lose? If you had initiated anything with STD make sure you let them know of the changes. ^ just trying to brainstorm, just in case.

Here's the "for at home" portion of my contribution to the thread mentioned above. I will not have sleeve surgery until next week, but I've had 3 abdominal lap procedures including WLS.

I've been active on WLS boards for about 7 years now. I've seen more "looser" women than I can count. "I'm a looser!" <- always want to tell her she really shouldn't be proud of that. Spelling is not a universal talent, nor are accurate translations between the brain and fingertips (I know their/there/they're intimately but that doesn't mean my fingers don't swap them on occasion). It doesn't bother me as much as "less" vs. "fewer." Or the pacific details of something... Or lamp blasting someone's response... Or clothing that is stripe id instead of striped... Or streets that you walk acrosst... Or randomly pluralized stores like Targets and Walmarts, when referred to in singular form... Or just jacked up conjugations like incentivizing people... Or inappropriate uses of r, as in when you warsh clothes to get the orl off... Or being "in" like phlegm... Or having it be a certain way for all intensive purposes... Etc. English is DH's second language. He can speak 3 languages fluently and 2 more with some effort. Smart guy, but the minutia of technically proper English still eludes him. He has a hard time with what I will call implied plurals like "people." It doesn't have the overt "s," but it never refers to a singular being. It throws him off and he sees it as a singular, so he constantly says things like, "People is..." or "They is..." Since he doesn't have much accent, people assume he's American and he's had some pretty rude corrections from people. (But not when this momma tiger is around.) 1980s, not 1980's. Unless you mean 1980's mistakes, like glam rock.

The early bird may get the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Contrary to that ^ post, I do know how to spell. Better than my fingers know how to type.

Have you ever calculated your BMR? Basal metabolic rate. I don't ask in a condescending way, I just ask because a lot of people don't know it's an actual thing. BMR calculator Your BMR is the number of calories you need just to exist. No activity, nothing. That calculator will give you an educated guess of what your BMR might be. If you're ingesting fewer calories than your BMR, especially if you're ingeting significantly less, your body won't be able to avoid ketosis (being in a state of converting fat to fuel). Lots of things can "mask" fat loss, though. And initially, you're going to be dehydrated and will have lost a lot of other fluids your body likes to hold on to. As you rehydrate, it's going to try and replace some of those. Nothing about your body is static. Think of it like a bus -- things constantly going in, things constantly going out. I don't mean to "harp" on this, I just don't like to see the reactions people have to these things that are quite normal. I don't like the reactions because I see them tearing people down and I see people beating themselves up over body effects that cannot be avoided. Ever diet, lose a ton of weight at first, then not lose anything or gain and think "Well forget that, I'm not going to give up my <indulgence of choice> if I'm not even losing weight..." Your body had to off a bunch of stuff to content with the sudden change, then was trying to get itself back where it wants to be. That's all. Had the changes been maintained, the differences would have played out. Advice on a more practical level -- if you're going to weight, and aren't already, be sure to weigh naked. Weigh within 15 - 20 mins of the same time of day NOT right after you wake up or right after you go to bed. Make sure your scale is on a hard, stable surface. Weigh yourself 3 times in a row and go with the highest, or lowest of the numbers (if you don't get the same weight all 3 times), and stick with that pattern every time. Do not weigh once and go off that weight. Do not weigh daily. I'd strongly suggest not even weighing weekly. Do keep in mind that there are just going to be times when you weigh more (I gain about 11 lbs with TOM). And I know it's easier said than done, but just trust that eventually your body will quit being a drama queen and calm down.

I'm not trying to play devil's advocate per se. Is he more reactive with other things? I could do the most amazing thing and my DH would only notice if it involved the very small world of things he pays close attention to. If there's something I particulary want him to notice, or I particulary need a compliment, his "usual self" might hurt that much more, and I might feel like he's purposefully ignoring it. Especially when to me, it might be the center of my universe, and to him, it just isn't something that really matters. (I tend to think much more like a man than a woman, so I just want to offer up another perspective.) That said, lots of insecurities come and go with relationships, including relationships where some significant physical change happens. I don't have enough hands, fingers, toes or hairs on my head to count the marriages I've seen end over what seems like a physical change, but in 100% of those cases there has been something else going on. (Hmm, kinda like obesity, no?) Even secure marriages will still ask, "What if?" Have you talked to him about it? What did he say?

If it makes you feel any better, as far as you know you're wearing a hospital gown. What you don't know won't hurt you.

Just remember that what the scale tells you is not how much fat is on your body. The scale tells you your total mass. hair, skin, body, clothes, poop, pee... it's all in there. (I hate what scales do to people on a psychological level. They are to obese people what red ink is to school children.) It's a fly's gonad short of impossible to gain weight on what you're able to ingest only a month out, unless you're downing shots of heavy whipping cream. That alone tells you there's something else going on. Think of that "something else" as your body going "Holy shickies, what happened to all my calories?!?!" and trying to find its happy place in this new Mad Mad World. I'm guessing you aren't taking measurements (?). If so, I'd suggest keeping track. That is going to be a 100% better measure than a scale. But even measurements won't catch everything.

That sounds kind of like - in order to win, you actually have to be last. *head scratch*

NaturalRhapsody33 hit the nail on the head. Once upon a lifetime I was a pre-med student, planning to go into research medicine. I've maintained friendships from those days and now live vicariously through my doctor friends. I'm still compelled to understand things on a physiological level. I was just trying to make sense of your description. Since you voluntarily shared the info, I didn't see any harm in trying to understand further. If you're not open to people asking questions, it might help to state that up front; message boards are fundamentally inquisitive places. Perhaps you explained well and everyone understood but me - certainly wouldn't be the first time - I will never claim to be the sharpest crayon in the box. Seeing others' interpretations, if they are accurate, I simply misunderstood what you were describing. I'm a very literal sort. My organs are fairly normal. They're just fat. I don't think I could "one up" your story on my best day. Best of luck with your continued recovery.

Technically I would be an agnostic atheist, married to a critical atheist.

StomaphyX seems to be the up and coming new "it" for 2nd generation WLSers. There is also another one getting buzz called the Transoral ROSE. Neither of these are well-known yet. But with RNY being the "gold standard" for WLS and it's crazy high regain stats, well let's just say I would not hesitate to direct some of my retirement portfolio over to the companies who are working on revisional techniques. Tried to link you to a page with more info, but links to the site aren't allowed here.. Must be a competitor referral business or something. Just google "stomaphyx transoral rose" and you'll find more info. HTH

Are you self pay? If you're going through insurance, and have no documentation of anything beong wrong with it, make sure the removal is covered. Normally elective -ectomies (cholecystectomy in this case) are not covered. Mine was removed about a year after I had my lapband put in. No side effects. It just took away some mild pain I would get in the middle of the night. My stools did not change, nor did my ability to digest fatty foods.

Wow, that's crazy - I'm glad they got your problems resolved in time. Not to sound daft or argumentative -- because that's truly not my intention -- I'm trying to understand what you've been through in order to understand where you're at, and some of it isn't making sense. I'm thinking maybe something was miscommunicated? How exactly is that your stomach is not attached to any part of your body (i.e. severed, and it would also be dead, and you'd likely be dead too), yet you have a functioning sleeve? Stomach not attached = no blood = necropsy = all kinds of badness, not to mention what would happen in the event of a duodenal separation. How is it that you still have a viable any part of a stomach? Just look at what other sleevers go through for relatively minor leaks, let alone full detachments. Are you sure this is what really happened? And what do you mean by your stomach was "taking over" your other organs? Did you have a stomach transplant? Had your stomach somehow migrated and started to copress other organs? Please share as much detail as you're willing to. Sounds like you had some crazy stuff going on. So the knotting and deformity all occured in the greater curvature of the stomach? (The bag-like part removed during a sleeve style gastroectomy) Or did some part of your esophagus, duodenum or intestine actually have the knotting/deformity -- and it was repaired during a sleeve procedure? Sorry, I'm trying to get it....

Superficial hair treatments like dye should not matter post-op, with the caveat of medications and chemicals. Those are systemic and will be present in your hair. This is why drug testing via hair sample is so effective and can detect such trace amounts. Having those things present in the structure of your hair can impact its ability to absorb, rebound, etc. A lot of professional stylists will not do perms, Japanesse straighteneing, etc. if you've been on atypical Rx meds in the last 3 months. Color and perms may not take, or may not last. I've been told some types of colors can actually come out wrong if the "right" components are in the hair shaft. Here's a previous post that may help. I have posted another here on the hair lifecycle and what actually happens when a hair is "shed" but for whatever reason I can't find it now. I blame the mods.