Wheetsin

I voted "Within reason MSO's weight isn't an issue for me." As much as I'd like to think I have the character to say honestly it doesn't matter, it does. MO guys don't turn me on. Obese guys probably wouldn't turn me on. Chubby - ok. Ok, all of the following takes place pre-op when I'm at my highest, but it's easier to explain that once, then try to explain it throughout the story. I asked my husband, "If we just met for the first time, and I looked the way I do now, would you go out with me?" and he said he didn't know, so I asked him why. His answer was pretty much the same -- he's generally not attracted to obese women, spo if he didn't already know me for who I am, he might not be attracted to me, but since he already knows me and loves me for much, much more than my outer shell, it doesn't matter to him now. Kind of like a "You're attractive because I already know you, but if I didn't know you I don't know if I'd find you attractive." I appreciated his his honesty. If I don't find MO people physically/"first impression" attractive, how could I expect him to? I thought that was interesting. I was not fat when I met him. He was a lot thinner too, but he put on maybe 40 lbs while I put on about 180 lbs. When the women at work talk about how their men have gained weight I say, "Well, he wore a 36 when I met him, and now he wears a 42, but who am I to talk? I could wear his jeans back then, and they were baggy." I'm not a great sympathizer. I think I hold people too acountable for that. I know that already I'm starting to bug my husband about the way he eats. Part of me says, "Who am I do criticize anything anyone else does?" but another part of my says, "I don't want him to have to go through what I did". So if I WAS turned on/attracted to a MO guy, I don't think I would be very good at just accepting it.

I like beefy guys. Not skinny at all. Not particularly "obese". Kind of what I would describe as a gootball player build. Just substantial men. I don't know that I would be initially attracted to an overweight man... well, I have been attracted to overweight men, but never to a morbidly obese man. Then again, I don't really know any MO men. I do find it somewhat unattractive, though I believe it's true that some people carry themselves better than others and that too can make a difference. Large man carrying himself with pride, large man carrying himself like his self-esteem is dripping out of his shoes every time he takes a step... totally different attractions there. But once I get to know someone... I've found myself very strongly attracted to people I wasn't initally attracted to at all, once I got to know their personalities. Unfortunately that initial attraction usually makes or breaks whether or not you get to know them.

So am I misunderstanding or did she basically say, "I'm not attracted to any man that would be attracted to me?" (assuming 200 lbs would still put her in the overweight category)

Hi Sammysue78, I was banded in March, and I'm not in Washington, but I am a grad student. Let me know if you have any questions I might be able to help with.

I'm up for Ethiopian but Saturday is probably not a good day. I could do Friday evening, and just about any time Sunday, but I think we're going out of town Saturday.

Oh no no no no. If my sex dream about Jimmy Smits can't kill this thread, a little funk can't either... b/c they're kind of one in the same.

I don't know what some of that stuff is, but I know Shrinky Dinks, by Gumby!

I don't confide too much in people. Some people some things but in as many ways as I'm wide open, there are an equal number of ways that I'm closed up. How you can handle your stress depends on what's causing the stress. Some problems we can fix, some we can't, but we can always play a part in what we allow them to do to our lives. So let's start with the basics. What's stressing you? And thanks, you're sweet!

Were mimeographs the precursor to copiers? I can remember back in middle school, the teacher would hand out copies and they were bluish-purple, and the first thing we'd do is inhale as much of the smell as we could before it wore off. Were those pages the product of the mimeograph?

I loved underoos.

I dount they'd pay out anywhere close to 10k if the surgeon you choose in in-network. Ok, I just looked up my info, and for just the surgery, not the band itself, or add'l anethesia fees, pre-op, work, etc. -- but just the surgery itself my plan was billed $29076.25. My plan actually paid $1674.00. Now add in everything else and there's still no way my plan paid out 10k, not even close to it. So maybe you have a possible route through your hubby's coverage.

Green = the person is currently online. Gray = they aren't. HTH! (Actually if you hold your mouse over the dot, it will say "Wheetsin is currently online" or offline... something like that)

One of the first places to start is with a sample menu. If you track what you eat, post it here, or come up with an approximation of what you eat in a day, so that we can help you review and look for possible contributors.

Hi Yoda, I'm not a Canuck, but my last manager was, and I know what a "bonnet" is, so can I reply? I think your situation is very interesting. On a few different boards (and here too), for the last few years, I've seen other references to headaches and, in general, symptopms of changes in the blood flow, such as fainting, dizziness, light-headedness, tunnel vision... they all seemed linked to eating with restriction. When you say that you're halfway done, do you mean halfway to the point of no longer feeling hungry, or halfway through the food on your plate? About what quantity of food have you eaten when your headache kicks in?

Oh I also can't speak to that particular surgeon, but my insurance covered my procedure and I know that when you compare what self-pays pay out, and what my insurance company was charged, it's more than double (against the insurance company). But on the other hand, what the insurance company PAYS, versus what they're CHARGED -- totally different numbers. I think my ins co actually paid something like $1800, but I think they were charged close to $40k. So -- does the 10k maximum apply to charges or payments?

I work for an insurance copany, but am not directly involved in the insurance part of the business, so I can only go on my understanding... but when a company excludes part of a plan (e.g. bariatrics), there's nothing to be done through the actual insurance company (outside of purchasing your own something or other through them). It has nothing to do with them, and at that point is all in the hands of your employer. Considering that your employer is now the one you have to work with, your HR rep should ne the first stop, but the most you can do is request that they release the exclusion. Considering what the cost is, it's not *likely* that they'll do it based on one request, but the worst that could happen is they say no, right?

What kind of flare are you looking for, that's more flare than red? (I'm picturing what, a silver lamé blouse?). :heh: Try a local costume shop, maybe. They usually sell everything they rent, and maybe you could find what your looking for as part of a pirate outfit...? Also if you search, I know that style shirt is also sold as a "poet blouse" or "poet's blouse"... might help you get more hits.

We don't use credit cards, generally, but will if it's a "save X percent if you sign up for the card today" deal, and we're buying something significant enough to benefit from the discount, I'll do it. Then I'll pay off the entire amount before I leave the store. Once I wrote the check for the wrong amount, 7 cents less than it should have been. And I received a credit card bill for 7 cents. And I hae to laugh, because when you consider the end-to-end mailing/distribution process, it probably cost them at least a buck or two to bill me for 7 cents.

I can't help with your first question but here's my answer to your second. (Pasting it here so I don't have to scroll back up while I respond) As a little background information, my parents and I have always had very open communication about -- everything, really, including my weight (they too have struggled with their weight, but were never anywhere near as obese as I was). Our conversations about anything tend to be very open and everything on the table. My husband and my parents are my three best friends. So that might help set the stage for how I approached the issue. My mom is the first person who ever told me about lap-band. She may have been telling me about it to plant a seed, I don't know, but one of her best friends is older than her, and a few daughters older than me. They're distant "friends of the family". One of them had RNY, and about a month later two of them had LB. This was 2001 and they were part of the FDA studies. They flew to Minnesota to have their operations done. The first time I heard of the LB was when my mom told me the sisters had the procedure, and that she'd seen one of them and she had lost a TON of weight. Ok, so now everyone knows about the procedure, and about 4 years go by of me mentioning it every now and then, but still personally determined to "do this on my own". I figured, I've accomplished everything I've set my mind to, and I'm not going to let my weight be an exception. Yada, yada, yada... I'd brought it up "in passing" enough times that they knew I was considering it. One day I was shopping with my mom and we were in line getting some drinks and I just told her, "I'm going to look seriously into the lapband that <sisters names> had." My mom's first response (and I was a bit mixed with how to take it) was, "Oh so you're going to do that instead of another diet?" I don't think she meant it unsupportively, she's one of those people who says something without realizing what she's really said... so I told her, "Diets obviously don't work, and I need some help." After that she was pretty much just full of questions. (Insert note here: she also said, "If you do this and lose weight I'm going to be happy for you, but I will also be jealous" - so that too may have influenced her initial reaction). I asked her if she thought dad would be upset about it if I did it, and she said no, she actually thought he'd be happy for me. So later that night I went out with him for a bit, told him I was thinking about it, and asked him what he thought. And he said, "You're not happy being fat. You haven't been happy since you started gaining weight. I miss my happy daughter. I think that you see this as what you need to lose the weight and keep it off, and that's going to make you happy, so I think you should do it." So I guess I tested the waters with my mom a little, and she'd be the one I'd guess would have the most objection to it. I pretty much just told my dad I thought I wanted to do it, and asked his opinion. I'm one of the ones who tells everyone, and I have a very different situation with my parents than you with yours, so please only take my account for what it's worth. Your inner bandster-wannabe will be your best guide in making your decision.

When I went on BCP I didn't experience weight gain (it's the only thing I ever put in my mouth that didn't make me gain weight!). The only side effect I noticed was cramping. For the first 3 months I was taking it, I had constant, mild cramps - just like menstrual cramps, only mild enough that I could ignore them. As I gained weight I had to stop taking the BCP, and all other hormone-based forms of birth control. I'm hoping I can get back on them soon. Even if you have a slight weight gain, IMO it would be so worth doing what you could to try and treat the cyst externally.

My only question would be, do you feel you need his support to succeed?

Eww you have ketosis breath! (as my Atkins supporters used to tell me during my Atkins days). The little round Ice Breakers mints saved my life. I can't think of the name, but they're tiny little balls, about the size of a BB. They're small enough that if you accidentally swallow one, they won't get stuck (at least they don't for me). And they're not solid, they're liquid inside of a gelatin-ish skin, so if it were to get stuck it would dissolve quickly. A lot of people I know also had success with chewing parsley, but who wants to sit around chewing parsley?

Yup yup, I have the back pain too. Not a pleasant experience is it? If I hadn't read this site, and consequently had a good idea what was happening during my first PB, I would have panicked b/c who would have thought it could hurt that much? As you get more personal with your PBs, you learn their intricacies and individual personalities, and will soon start to attribute different characteristics to each of your new friends.

Actually JoJo, I apologize to your for my last message because it may detract from your thread. If you would like me to move it out of your thread, please say so and I will do so ASAP.

I'm no longer going to be apart of a board that allows moderators to treat members as they do. If you feel I, or any other moderator, has treated a member poorly, please feel free to report it. JoJo came to us to vent. She didn't ask for opinions, advice and certainly not to be attacked. How was she attacked? JoJo, did you feel attacked? I understand maybe put off at not getting the responses you were looking for, or not feeling "supported" (or whatever the right word here is), but did you feel that I attacked you? As for not asking for advice & opinions, how many threads do you think get posted each day where the person doesn't ask for advice & opinions, but gets them anyway? Tons. Tons & tons & tons. It's kind of what happens on a messageboard full of diverse people. Can't you just say that sucks or too bad that happened... or nothing at all? Sure, I could. Or I can offer another perspective. Can't I just say what I think? This is Rants & Raves, right? So is only the original poster allowed to post their opinion, and everyone else has to follow suit? No, you would rather defend someone you've never met and never will over a fellow bandster. Well - I've already said I wasn't defending the person, I would have no reason to defend the person, but OK. As for "...over a fellow bandster" - that's not accurate. For one, it's not my situation, and as such, it's something I certainly wouldn't pick sides over, so to speak. Even if it were to be a situation for picking sides, regardless of the context or setting, the fact that the person has a lap-band, and I have a lap-band, doesn't mean I'm going to (or should) pick their side. In true lapbandtalk form a simple "my day sucked" had to turn into a debate started by a moderator. Where's the debate? Did I say anything inappropriate? Did I say anything against the rules of the board? Because I'm a moderator, can I not have an opinion? Can I not offer an alternate point of view, especially in the Rants & Raves section? Is there some rule that says I can only post things immediately positive & fully supportive of whatever the original poster's perspective is?