Wheetsin

Island of the Blue Dolphins by Scott O'Dell. My favorite book when I was a child, I literally read it over and over until it fell apart. The heroine's brother gets mauled to death by wild dogs. Been a while since I read it, but I believe she watches them drag his body away and has to fight them off. Then she has to bury his body. All of this is after watching her tribe's leader get killed on the shore, and the slaughter of several others. Named one of the best American children's books by the CLA.

My mother always blamed herself for my weight gain, even though I was out of the house & married off before it became an issue. She wasn't thrilled with the idea of my surgery because she was sad that it had "come down to that". She wished I could have found another way. She & dad drove down to the hospital to be with DH and I when I had my surgery. I didn't know this at the time, but she cried for hours the night before my surgery. Mostly tears of misplaced guilt, I believe. A few of fear. We both know sisters who were banded several years ago, and one has had some sognificant issues with her band that have lead to other problems including extreme (from size 36 to a loose 0) weightloss. And a few tears because she was afraid that it was a pure desperation move on my behalf. She never vocalized it, but she wished I wouldn't do it. Now that she sees I'm getting myself back, sees the changes in my personality, and my body... sees that I can get down & up again from the floor without any effort, and that I can rup up and down the stairs & still breathe... and most importantly that I'm still healthy, able to eat wholesome foods, and not having (yet) complications, she's thinking about the band herself. At the same time she has a lot of the issues you share about your mom. She is overweight, though I was by far the largest. She told me once, "If you do this and lose weight I'm going to be jealous." It always gave her a measure of comfort to not be the fattest one in the room, I'm sure, even if it caused her horrible guilt at the same time. We visited my parents last weekend and mom brought out all the food she had bought for me - Cookies, ice cream, chips. She meant well, but I told her I don't eat that stuff any more, and even when I do it's 1 cookie, not a box. She keeps insisting that, "With no more than what you eat, a few cookies isn't going to hurt you" or "You can use real butter, you need some more fat in your diet." She means well, but she too struggles with her proverbial demons. As does your mother. Have you tried a real heart-to-heart with her?

Progress pics. About 115 lbs down, and about 80 - 90 more to go. And DH cut my head off. Photographer he is not.

Ok, you guys seem pretty into this, so let me ask. I've read each book once, seen each movie. That's about it. SO I could read the book again, or just ask you guys. In the fight where Sirius dies, it seems like he disappears behind a curtain and everyone just kind of knows he's dead. But I don't remember anything special about the curtain. What's the deal? Coworker is an HP fanatic. She was talking about this with me today. I don't really care personally, but she's REALLY into figuring this out. Puts way toomuch time into it. Her theory is that Dumbledore froze Harry so he wouldn't kill Snape when he went after Dumbledore. She didn't say anything about a horcrux, but did say that Fawkes spends a really long time crying over Dumbledore's body -- something about his tears going on & on, and she's figuring that's enough to bring him back to life. Or something like that. Want to know who really spends too much time on this stuff? Check out this guy: http://www.dumbledoreisnotdead.com/

Had DH take a round of progress pics tonight. Of course he cut my head off. Here's just over 8 months and about 115 lbs gone. Or let's put it this way: Before: Tight size 32 skirt, tight 26/28 shirt. Current: Size "I" (equivalent to size 22) jeans, size 1x shirt.

Not griping about welfare people at all. Not sure why that would be the perception. I'm purely talking about having to pay a higher rate of tax, versus more tax. Maybe I'm not phrasing it correctly. I don't mind having to pay more money in taxes than someone else. I mind having to pay a higher percentage of taxes than someone else. DH and I are in a 33% tax bracket (Schedule Y-1 MFJ). We pay a much higher rate once you factor in the other tax sources. The tax bracket directly under us (28%) accomodates an income between $123,700 and $188,450 for MFJ. So a MFJ couple with an income of $188,450 pays a lower rate of tax than we do. I could be griping about them, but I personally would certainly not consider $188,450 to be "welfare people".

Hi Piper, and welcome. Some people struggle with obesity their entire lives. I didn't. I started gaining about 10 years ago, and just never quit. For a very long time, a time that I'm not even sure is over yet, I would tell myself I "just needed to get thin again". I understand what you mean when you say that you saw it as a temporary state. I did too, to some degree. It's not who I was, so I was just a little out of character. Problem is, instead of "just getting thin again", I just kept gaining, and gained myself up near 400 lbs. Same as you, DH always loved me, but I physically was not the person he married and I felt bad about that. 350 was my magic number. I didn't weigh myself, but I KNEW there was no way I would ever let myself get THAT big. Surprise, during my consultation I was 370. I couldn't believe it. People ask me how I feel now, and I tell them that I feel like I'm getting me back. Like I'm reclaiming my lost territory. I look back and can't believe I let myself gain that much weight... but at the time, I didn't really see it. I avoided the harsh reality of a scale like some people avoid going to the doctor when they know something is wrong, but as long as they don't actually hear it's wrong, there's still some hope of being OK. I denied it as it was happening... oh, these pants must have stretched hrunk in the dryer... oh, it's just a few pounds - I must be retaining Water... oh, I can always diet tomorrow. Remember that the band isn't what defines you as an obese person. You're obese whether you have the band or not. The band defines you as an obese person who's willing to face the problem and do something to fix it. It took me a long time to come to grips, so to speak, with getting the band. I contemplated it starting 2001, and just had surgery this year. I kept thinking, "All I need to do is diet". And I would. And I would lose the weight. My problem was that I could never maintain. I was perpetually in a state of losing or a state of gaining. No in between. And I felt that I should be strong enough to do it alone. I mean - dammit, I have accomplished *everything* I've really, truly put my mind to. Why was this so different? I kept wondering - what if I get this surgery, and all along "just one more diet" would have worked and been all I needed? And then I realized - how do I REALLY think I'll be in a year? Because sure as shit, that year is going to pass, and when it's up I can be fatter and unhappier, or I can be thinner and much, much happier. The year doesn't care about me, it's going to come and go. My role is to decide what happens when it's up. If I'd done this a year ago, where would I be now? How many times did I tell myself, "I'll really think about the surgery if I don't lose 50 lbs by May" or "Ok, I'm going to try this one last diet and if I can't get below this BMI in this amount of time, I'm doing it" or "If by the time I turn 30 I'm not back down to this weight..." So then I got real, and made the decision. And once I had made it, I knew it was right. I never regretted a single thing. I never felt deprived, never felt I had made a mistake. I never even had the "What the F did I just do?" reaction I'd heard so much about. After more than 5 years of contemplating this, I knew I had done the right thing. I know people who have been obese their entire lives have it hard. At the same time, I know I could argue that people who weren't obese, then became obese and lost their self image, self esteem... saw how people started treating them differently... slowly watched themselves become invisible, and slowly saw themselves becoming this thing that wasn't who they were... probably have it a little harder, at least the mental game of it all. For me, the band wasn't about losing the weight. I can lose the weight. For me the band was about helping me keep the weight off. So don't let the surgeon make the decision for you. It has to be your decision. And it has to be 100% right. Don't feel any pressure from anyone. Ask yourself if the band is what it is going to take to get what you want. When you know the answer is yes, you're ready. Until then, you have plenty of time to research.

I'm surprised the doctors told you that. Wish mine had! One thing my surgeon really stressed was to wait a minimum of a year before becoming pregnant. In their paperwork you even had to indicate what type of BC you planned to use, and apparently if you hadn't put any down they referred you for a pre-op consultation. The doctors told you "you won't have no chance of getting pregnant", which is the same thing as saying "you will have a chance" -- guess they were right! Congratulations! I have my physical in January, and March is my 1 year. I plan to talk to my doctor when she does my physical about how much longer to wait before trying to get pregnant. I'd like to be down a bit more, but I'm also going to be 31 next year. Might have to start making some compromises.

Insert a little gripe... Gas companies pay whatever their costs are when the fuel is delivered into the reservoires. They don't pay a fluctuating rate. Say the reservoires hold enough gas for a week. On monday they pay $1/gallon for the gas, and it sells for $2. Then on Tuesday prices increase to $3. They're still selling their $1 gas, only now they're getting $3 for it. And by Thursday gas is up to $4. They're now selling the gas they paid $1 for, for $4. That's something that has always irritated the crap out of me. Tack your profit onto the gas, and sell it at that price until it's gone. If you have to pay more to fill up your reservoires next time, OK, charge me more. But don't just charge me more and more for the gas you paid $1 for.

When I lived in Europe only the base gas prices were driven by supply and demand, and that only represented about 15% - 20% of what you were paying at the pump. Most European countries have inflated carbon & environmental taxes tacked onto the pump prices... and in many cases you'll find oil freedom initiatives behind the taxes. Not to mention the mid and NE countries that offset low income tax rates with high fuel consumer taxes, and fund public welfare benefits with high sales taxes that also impact pump prices. The fluctuation in the base gas price - actually a lot of Europeans I know do believe Bush is a factor, but not the only factor. They can't overlook the EU's role. I'm not saying Bush is to blame, I'm not saying he isn't. I'm just saying there's a lot more to factor into European gas prices than supply and demand. Also saying that yes, Bush is getting some of the blame outside of our borders. Cheers!

Sandranoelle, there are a few things that we should take the time to set straight so that you don't beat yourself up unnecessarily. 24 pounds is awesome progress. You're way ahead of the curve with your loss so far, so don't get down about it. ANY loss before you're filled is like icing on the cake, since technically you're doing it solo still. Also, this is kind of becoming my mantra here, but weight does not equal fat. You didn't gain two pounds of fat in one day. Stop worrying about it. I fluctuate as much as 12# between morning and night. Our bodies are constantly taking in & letting go of water. Get rid of some glycogen stores and you'll be amazed at what the scale can do in a very brief period of time. Don't get down because you think you've gained back 2# of fat overnight. Unless you ate more than most people can physically eat, it didn't happen. You should be able to get a fill regardless of whether or not you're losing. There is no point in having the band if you aren't going to have fill in it. I was losing a lot when it was time for my fill, so my surgeon gave me 1cc instead of 2cc. 3 weeks later I went back and got the 2nd cc. Yes, there is a point. For me it was within the first week post-op. I lost my appetite on the pre-op liquid diet, and it never really came back except for one day about 3 oor 4 days post-op when I felt I was so hungry I couldn't stand it. You'll notice your behaviors changing. It used to be that when we planned a vacation I'd think, "I hope they have good buffets!" and now I think, "I'll have to pack some protein bars." I think I'm really starting to hit that whole "eat to live" idea. And it's very, very liberating.

I like alternative rock, from back when alternative was actually an alternative to something. And alternative "variants". NIN, Pixies, LOVE the Femmes, SP, etc. I'm not as exclusive about this as I used to be. Pretty much unless it's country or "hard" rap I will listen to it. Currently in my changer: 311, Tears for Fears, Harry Connick Jr., Radiohead, Pulp Fiction soundtrack, Rammstein, Wilco, Velvet Underground. After 8 years in undergrad and 4 in grad, I have a huge academic library of everything from classic literature (lots of American & British, some Russian, some native), philosophy, psychology and learning psychology works, geentics, etc. Those books take up our "reading room". Our home office is also lined with shelves full of random works. I don't go by genre, I go by whatever is good. David Sedaris, Katherine Dunn, Gregory Maguire, AJ Matthews, etc. Lots of King, some Koontz (weak dialogue, but once he gets going he can take you with him). Literally hundreds of random works because I never throw a book away. You'll also find JK Rowling, because it doesn't matter if her reading can capture me or not. Anyone who can get millions of children to drop the joystick and pick up a book instead is going to get as much of my support as I can give.

I guess I should really oppose gay marriages. So many hotties, so useless to me outside of decorating my house or cutting my hair... And if they give me a chance, I can fix them. Make them straight. They're only gay because they've never had a good woman. No wait, they're gay because god made them that way, right? I forget...

I was THE only one of my friends whose parents were still together. That's a part of why DH and I didn't have kids right away. I always said no - you have to find yourselves as a couple before you find yourselves as parents. You know who "you" are, you need find to know who "we" are. And a little time into the marriage to be absolutely sure things are heading in a good direction doesn't hurt, either.

BYE BYE Donny!

It's exactly what I would expect to see between two competing businesses. Coke is anti Pepsi. McDonald's is anti Burger King. I have to expect that a bypass business is going to try and make the band look as unattractive as possible. That's what business do.

BTW, discomfort in social settings isn't a bad thing, nor is it necessarily a fat thing. Being an introvert doesn't mean you're shy or won't speak up. I'm an extremely expressed introvert, almost 100%. I don't think many people who know me, or even people here, would consider me hesitant to speak up or share an option. Your introversion/extroversion factors are more about how you charge your batteries - what relaxes you, energizes you, and what's your ideal. For some people the best night they can picture is at a party surrounded by friends, and for some it's curled up in a dark room with a book. That doesn't mean there's anything wrong with either person, it's all about preferences. (Note on the enneagram - most academics are dismissing it as a method to profile personalities. Most recently, it's been identified as "pro-suicide". Personality factors and how they effect our psychology, performance & learning is a big chunk of what I do professionally, so I have to keep up with the trends... blech!)

I'm always the odd one. It's not because I'm fat, it's because I'm weird. That's my "ingredient" that I add to most of my relationships -- the kookiness, oddness... extremely different points of views, confidence, and fun. What I bring are the "odd ball" characteristics that aren't there when I'm out. There's nothing wrong with not being like everyone else. There are lots of different "types" of people. They're your friends, so they see something in you they like, right? Love yourself for it.

I can do liquids in the morning but sometimes I feel them quite a bit. Try a warm liquid before your protein shake, like a 1/4 cup of hot tea. That helps some people.

I'm no good at "name that syndrome"

Eww. Just eww.

We stood together, for a little while. "Patriotism" was oozing out of every flag on every doorstep. American flags and ribbons were popping up all over everyone's lapels and bumpers, like red white and blue had become the new black. For a few days people were nicer. I actually had people stopping to let me merge into traffic, and as everyone rushed to the gas pumps to fill up their tanks before we hit $5 per gallon, no one cut off anyone else.

I don't really know of any cons. Perhaps they will come later in my experience. I have been asked if there's anything I didn't know pre-op, that I do know now, but wished I had known then and - yes, I do. I do wish that I had understood that PBs HURT. It wouldn't have changed my decision, but it would have been nice to know going in and not been so *surprised* by how much pain was involved.

"Get with the good book" doesn't apply to everyone. To me "the good book" right now is "Follow" - fantastic read! Are you going to get with it? Or should I just have to get with the book you think is good? I'm not sure how my unwed neighbors got their joint home loan if marriage is required for a mortgage these days, I will have to ask them. Divorce rates are so high because heterosexual couples only stay together about 50% of the time. Are you seriously suggesting that a natioanlly high divorce rate is caused by homosexuals? Don't you have to be married in order to get divorced?

BTW, amom, my condolences. I can only imagine all the "me, me!!" messages flooding your PM box. You're going to be a busy lady. :heh::heh: