Wheetsin

I didn't read that ogling = respect in anyone's comments, though I may have missed some. I think people are saying that curiosity, especially in a young child, and especially about something the opposite sex has that he does not, is natural. Perhaps it will work exactly as she has planned, and perhaps she is seeding her child with future neurosis. Who's to say. Other than that child in another 15 years.

A good friend of mine once said, "When I was younger, I used to want to be reincarnated as a pair of women's underwear. Until I lived with a woman, and saw what their underwear look like." Yeah, as someone else mentioned, you're naked under the drape. The gown you get doesn't stay on. Everyone in the room is a trained medical professional and looking at you naked isn't going to be their priority. If you're determined to wear your underwear, best of luck to you, but I don't see it happening. But you won't remember it, and you'll have bigger things on your mind anyway.

I don't get animal abandonment. We see our dog as a child. Yes, we're those silly people who refer to each other as "mommy" and "daddy" when we talk to the dog. So yeah, we're those silly people who also talk to the dog. This will sound like "Oh, I'm such a great pet owner" and I don't mean it that way. The story is the story. The point is the question that was asked... and the fact that is has to be asked. One night our dog started vomitting, and it continued all night. We stayed up with him keeping him comforted and trying to encourage drinking water as much as we could. Took him to the vet, vet said he didn't think it was a big deal, keep an eye om him. The vomitting continued through the morning, and then our dog started to vomit and excrete blood. When I saw that I froze in a moment of pure panic. I made the hour and a half drive to the vet in under 40 minutes. As the vet is looking him over he says, "I don't really know what's wrong, I don't think it's anything major, but some of these tests can be kind of expensive. And he's dehydrated, so I want to get him set up on an IV. Some of this treatment can be kind of expensive. Do you want me to go ahead and do it?" I was like - what? Of course you do it! Because to me, it was unthinkable that cost would determine whether or not our dog got the care it needed. So I told him, "I don't care what it costs. If you think it will help, then you do it." And I didn't care what it was going to cost. It was the farthest thing from my mind. But apparently a lot of people do care - enough so that it's something the vet forewarns about. To me, what he did would be no different than taking my husband to the doctor with the same symptoms, and having the doctor say, "Well, something serious might be wrong, but tests are expensive, should I go ahead and do it?" Such a no brainer to me. Because emergencies are part of having life, and if you can't handle the emergencies that come up, you don't need the pet. I just can't accept that letting a pet die because someone thinks the treatments are too expensive is valid. And I hate seeing animals left in cars during the summer/winter. Uh uh, don't do it where I can see it happen, or you're not going to be very happy with the consequences.

No undies here. And I didn't care in the least. Underwear was the farthest thing from my mind. I mean - if I didn't mind laying there with no bra on, and my flab hanging all over the table, a naked pooty in the room with medical professionals certainly wasn't going to phase me. I mean - I have paps, and there the person is trying to look... during the surgery, any sight would be incidental. Never heard of doing the surgery between someone's legs. My incisions are too high up, there's no way unless someone was laying on top of me.

I do, and there are no secrets other than your genomic mapping.

I think part of what Laurend is getting at is that teaching a however old boy to look away from boobs is teaching him that you aren't allowed to look at boobs, rather than why not to look at boobs. I didn't read through the posts in detail so perhaps there was mention of some reason being given to the kid, but all I read was something along the lines of "trained to look away". It's completely normal for kids to look at others' bodies. They're curious. And they may ask, "Why are her boobs so small?" or maybe they see someone with boobs who looks like a man, and they want to know why. But it doesn't mean they're going to grow up into men who don't respect women. Respect can be taught, to a degree. Looking away when you see something can be taught. Or, you can use one to get at the other. I just don't see a connection between "you can't look at boobs" and "respect women". There's a difference between a man who sees you walk in somewhere and looks at YOU, including your boobs (because they can't magically disappear), and a man who looks at your boobs while you're trying to make eye contact with him. I respect men, but was never taught I can't look at their butts. Perhaps desynsetizing would be an equally good approach. Teaching them that yes, women have boobs and men don't. And then it's not such a big deal. And they learn respect along the way. And then when they're grown, there's never been a stigma around boobs. And they can just be normal guys who respect women, like most normal guys do.

I fly all the time. I've taken probably in the neighborhood of 30 flights since my surgery. I've set off the detector one time. They had me step aside and I told them I had a medical implant, showed them about where it was, and they broke out the wand. The wand confirmed and I proceeded to the gate. It was no big deal. Flying does mess up my restriction, as in makes me way tight. Not at first, but say the next day - I will be tight enough to warrant liquids. And for whatever reason it seems to happen about 90% of the time I'm going, but very rarely when I'm coming. Fickle indeed. My advice - and you'd think this is common sense but it kind of isn't when you start to get comfortable with your band... plan your meals when you're flying. You don't want to grab a "quick bite" on your way to the gate, and end up having to PB during take-off. (NO, that didn't happen to me, my PB came en route to the airport thankfully, but I was dreading that it would linger until take-off...ugh...)

I eat out all the time. I order whatever I want (honestly). I just don't eat a lot of it. I've given up fast food except for Chipotle and the occasional stop by Taco Bell. Oh, and a rare run by Subway. When I eat out with people, nothing's different other than I'm not eating a lot. But it takes me just as long to eat my small amount is it takes them to finish their plates, so I'm eating/talking the entire time, just like they are. To help control my portions, I ask for a box when I order my food - if it's something I'll care to keep. Then when the food comes, I put most of it in the box and set it aside, then proceed to eat what's on my plate. As for what to order...here are some things I've ordered at recent visits. Uno's - ordered a buffalo quesadilla appetizer and clam chowder. I took one slide of the appetizer, and ate the "broth" from the chowder, and a few chunks of the potato. Left the clam behind because I couldn't chew it well. Outback - ordered something chicken that came with corn cakes. Ate part of the chicken, ate one corn cake. Chili's - ordered the margarita chicken breast and told them to bring me veggies instead of rice. Had a few chips/salsa from the appetizer. McCormick & Schmick's - ordered the seafood cobb salad, gave most of the lettuce to DH, focused on the crab/shrimp/scallops. If we go out for Breakfast I will order 1 egg (usually can get these a la carte) and a side of bacon. I normally get through half the egg and one piece of the bacon. If we go to a little cafe I will get quiche or chicken salad, or Soup. But for the most part that's exactly what I would have gotten before surgery too (never was a big red meat eater). So really - I go to the same places and I get the same things, for the most part, I just box most of it up or have them take it away when I'm done. And I do try to make healthier choices, e.g. cottage cheese over fries.

I'm alomst a year out and have only truly felt hunger a handful of times. II say it all the time but it's true - I lost my appetite 2 days before surgery and it never came back. My burps remain different, but they don't hurt. They just feel as though they're coming from my "bottom stomach". BTW - the idea of a bottom and top stomach is how I described what I felt to my husband. My stomach would be growling like crazy, but at the same time I didn't feel hungry. He couldn't understand this. So I told him that it feels like I have two stomachs, and the bottom one is hungry, but the top one is full. Again, almost a year out, I still have some aches pains every now and then. It seems like every few weeks the area right around my band will be sore for a few days, almost like pulled muscle sore. And every now and then if I move just right (or is it wrong?) I swear I can feel my port pulling or shifting.

Sorry, should have clarified. I wasn't asking the questions to get answers, I was citing examples of times that legitimate curiosity was perceived as something quite different.

This is a difficult balance. A lot of times what we say comes across as sarcastic or mockery, because - who knows - maybe because mockery is expected and read into it, or maybe because one man's common sense is another's complete unknown. Case in point - the earlier discussion about needing healthcare. Perfectly reasonable and valid questions from my perspective, but seen as mockery from another. When I was young I asked my mother, "Why do churches collect money from the people who go there?" and she answered, "Because churches cost money, there are electric bills and heating bills and maintenance costs" and I then asked, " If god cared whether or not people went to church, wouldn't it provide?" I remember she got a little upset because she thought I was mocking her faith, but in reality - I really just wanted to know what her answer was. Another time I asked her (after hearing about a very religious person in our family who was resuscitated), "...but if he died, and everything happens because it's god's will, wouldn't it be against god to bring him back to life?" Again - honest question (asked perhaps with the naivete of the 13 year old I was at the time), but taken much differently than it was meant. I see your point, Tommy. No being with that rationale could be (from some people's perspective) every be considered "perfect".

Yup yup, me too. I started having irregular periods when I was 9, and had full blown regular cycles by 11. I never got buxom though. But I was 5'7 at 12 years old. I'm between 5'10 and 5'11 now. I used to go somewhere with my father when I was 14 or 15, and people would refer to me as his wife. Creepy!

BJean, this isn't directly at you, don't take it that way... it's just a little vent because Dr. Phil gets on my nerves. Dr. Phil is accurate with his assessments, as are 95% or more of people with an advanced degree in clinical psychology. What he does isn't magic, it's just an understanding of what motivates people and fundamental behavioral reactions and drivers. Greatly simplified there, for sure. People eat him up because he's confrontational and self-righteous.

Re: exclusions - what you've been told is correct. An insurance company offers a variety of services to the employer, and the employer picks & chooses what they want (based largely on cost). A lot of employers will decline the bariatrics because of the cost to them. When the employer declines it, it's an exlcusion. Fighting an exclusion with your insurance company won't do any good. That service hasn't been purchased, so they will not provide it. Exclusions are employer choice. So if you want to appeal an exclusion, your best bet would be to talk to the benefits admin at the employer company. Chances aren't great that anything will change, especially with an employer as large as a state function, but you can always try.

Haha, not only can you feel the Water moving down, but if you drink very cold water, you'll feel the cold hitting you. Almost a year it this is still true for me. It's kind of neat. *take a drink of something cold* *nothing* *nothing* *ahh, there it is* and you can feel the cold sensation sort of spreading over your stomach.

Katydotrn - especially with an increase in weight and reps, your weight gain was probably new muscle mass. Formation of muscle mass is a little more straightforward than fat loss. You damage the msucle, new muscle comes in place. It happens, period. Breaking down and metabolizing fat reserves, and then getting that change accurately reflected on the scale, is a much more mysterious (aka random) beast.

I had lost about 30% of my weight before my first fill, and probably could have kept going. But my question is, why get the band if you want to avoid fills? I was one of the lucky ones - the band itself in an empty state gave me some measure of restriction. For most people this is not the case.

I'm not necessarily anti-gun, and yes - I would be willing to put that on my door.

That would seem logical, but you never know. And keep in mind that not all surgeons use the same procedure to place the band.

I say unfill NOW. A few weeks ago I was taken from 2.5cc to 3.0cc. Long story short that was too much and what would normally be "nothing", or "PB, end of story" became - as a result of irritation and swelling - being blocked off completely, to the point that even my own saliva couldn't pass and I was having to PB every 4 or 5 minutes just from swallowing. You don't want to be there. "Choking in the middle of the night" sounds like acid reflux. The same day that I was PBing saliva, I called for an unfill. They actually praised me for coming in, saying that some people go weeks and months like that. My rationale - it's better to go for an unfill, because I can always get more fill put in later, than be too tight and have increased risk of erosion and slips.

This I can relate to. And that's why when people poll or discuss whether or not you'd cheat, or your spouse would cheat, I can say with completely confidence that my husband would never cheat on me. Hubby works in very much of a "boys' club" department - all men, all friends outside of work... heck half of them live within 10 minutes of us. On business trips with vendors, they almost always go to a strip club, and DH is always either in his hotel room chatting with me while he does work and I do homework, or (several times) he's opted to wait out in the parking lot and call me instead. His first year in the department, for his birthday, he learned that it's tradition to go to a local club and the other guys buy you a lapdance. So he was sure to be out sick that day. Probably makes him sound like a prude or somehow "not normal", but that's not the case at all. He was just raised somewhat old-fashioned, and with a deep respect for women, and - in his words - just can't find anything attractive about a woman who lets men ogle her to pay her bills. From his perspective, he's sad the person has so little self-respect.

Gadget - I'll completely remove this from the topic of religion, just because it's pretty out there - even for someone as abstract as I am - and I don't want my comments to be seen as negative or poking fun. There's a theory (I could have told you the name of it before I started writing this post, but now I'm having a total brain fart) around energy and transference of energy... it's the "something" electromagnetic field theory. Learning theorists (including psychologists) were the first to consider it, and then some medical practitioners followed suit. I've worked quite a bit with the man who fathered the theory (he's a little out there too!), and while I'm not a subscriber, it's interesting food for thought. The catalyst questions were along the lines of, "How can a twin here think of something, and twin there can tell you what the other is thinking?" Or, "How can one person think of being in a very hot place, and the body temperature of the person next to them starts to rise?" Or in general, how is it that people who are seemingly not connected, or moderately connected, or deeply connected, can seem to share thoughts and ideas? Anyway, the jist if the theory is that we're surrounded by electromagnetic fields, and that these fields serve as a type of RAM for our psyche. If you aren't familiar with computer terminology, RAM is the computer's version of short term memory (volatile memory). Kind of. Things are stored on the hard drive (brain), but when something needs to be accessed (active memory) it's brought into RAM (our working memory or recall processes). When we're done working with it, it goes back into storage (aka is "filed" back into our brain for storage). Ok , so that's not entirely accurate, but it would take me two or three pages to go into enough detail to make the analogy spot-on correct. Anyway... The theory supposes that everything that can be known, felt, and understood is based on energy (fundamentally this is true) -- and the energy that is "us" can freely flow in and out of the energy that is in our EMF. And his same energy can mingle with others' energy - especially people we're somehow (psyche) connected to. Prayer healing was one of the things used as example phenomena. As were things like two friends who haven't spoken in years calling each other at the same moment -- the "I was just thinking about you" type of events, or thinking of a long lost song moments before you hear someone else starting to sing it.

General online peeves - When people can't be bothered to spell out the actual word. How r u 2day? It takes less than a second to type all of that out. You can't be bothered to type it out? I probably can't B bothered 2 answer. On an Atkins board I used to belong to there was a woman who would capitalize every word. When Someone Does That For An Entire Sentence It Makes It A Lot Harder To Read.

Actually, feel relieved - this question has been asked many times. The concensus is "wait until you can do it comfortably". Individual answers vary frm a few days to a few weeks.

3 months ago I would have said "doubt it". But since then I've learned of a bandster whose band had to be removed, to due a slip, credited by the surgeon as being due to coughing. So I really don't know. But I wouldn't think it's anything to worry about.