Wheetsin

I used to dress (and I don't mean "get dressed", I mean dress) before I gained the weight. But when I was at or near my highest, you wouldn't have caught me dead in a pair of heels. For one, because I looked ridiculous in anything you would wear heels with. Even jeans. For two, my shoe size had gone up to a 12 and sometimes a 13. Good luck finding a cute heel in that size. And if you do manage, it's going to be plastic. And it is harder to walk in heels when you're heavier. It went from second nature, to oh my gumby my feet are killing me! And situational depression, and I just quit caring. Ugh! I really hit a low. I remember once, after our house was built and we were making plans to occupy, I had to stop by the realtor's office to pick up the key. Our realtor wasn't there, but one of her coworkers I'd never met was. When I told her I needed the key to the house, she asked why. I said, "So we can start moving in...?" And she was like, "Oh! You're the owner? I thought you were the cleaning lady." I'm still a big handful of sizes from my "ideal" size, but I've picked it up. I'm back in heels, actually styling my hair, and actually putting togeter outfits. Doing all the things I abandoned as the weight packed on. I forgot how fun accessories can be! And in my case, I'm not trying to attract a man. I've been married for (going on) 10 years. To me, when I wear nice things, I feel good. I feel human. I still don't feel attractive, and that's ok - because feeling good is enough. I do believe that how you present yourself can completely impact how you feel. It's hard to wear a nice, well put-together outfit, know you look nice, and still feel crappy. I lost touch with feeling good about myself for a long time. It's hard to feel good when you don't even feel human. And I'm loving getting back into it. Speaking of, Avenue has some pretty cute dresses this season. I'm thinking about picking this up. It surprisingly looked really cute on (except for my flabby arms - can you say "cover up"?)

I've never eaten rhubarb. But that berry sounds really cool! (But I eat lemons now...)

You deeply misunderstood, or twisted, what I said. I never said christians deserve "something" negative. I truly don't understand the logic behind it "being acceptable to discriminate against christians." I already stated that it wouldn't have bothered me, because I don't equate the accurate scenario representing the characters and background story, as much as I do it equating the sequence of events. Obviously I didn't make the comment, so I cannot begin to guess what the speaker's intentions were. I can only speak for my interpretation. Why does it have to be "right" and "wrong"? Why would "all christians" even come into play?

You guys will like this. Our neighborhood - up until about a year ago - provided free trash removal once per week, with no limit on the number of bags. Large/bulky items are picked up once a month, yard waste three times a year but you can hire a separate company any time. About a year ago they changed the rules. We're now given one tub for recycling paper and plastic, that is picked up once a week. We're also limited to 2 trash bags per week. Cardboard will be picked up if it's placed under the tub, but not if it's in the tub (or if it's beside the tub, or...) The biggest change I have seen in the last year is that most of our neighbors who used to put out piles of 13g kitchen trash bags now put out 2 55g contractor bags. We aren't allowed to have compost bins/piles, nor are we allowed to have vegetable gardens, though we can have flowerbeds, plant trees, etc. We're also not allowed to have sheds, in-ground pools or permanent above-ground pools, but we can have hot tubs. We live in a suburb area. The much smaller city that we border implemented a recycling program about 10 years ago. Ours is an extension of theirs. Our city didn't do it sooner because, "Their taxes are higher and they can afford it."

I know, and that makes me sad because electricty is 100% renewable. It is green. But we're not allowing it to be, we're dirtying it up. The technology is out there and readily available. I guess it just cuts into profits too much. It's sad that some states produce over 50% electrictiy from nuclear sources, many in the 20% - 30% range, but there are still many at 0%. And renewables have a high of about 25%.

I didn't really take it as a religious issue either. When they said a realistic scenario, I took it to mean the events that were unfolding - not the story behind it. It truly would not bother me if the same activity had been performed around a hypothetical group of atheists angry that the school allowed a bible club, because when they say "it's an accurate scenario" I would assume they were referring to the physical events of people coming into a school, eliciting the behaviors they will, and having consequences. One thing kind of stood out to me though. ""The real story is that it has become acceptable to discriminate against Christians.." It was always acceptable to discriminate against non-christians. The degree to which that's true now depends on a few factors, but overall, in the US, it still happens. And it happens to all minority groups. Some portray that it has recently become acceptable to discriminate against Christians... but we have a history of it being acceptable to discriminate against non-Christians... I'm not finding the right words, but I think it's more "welcome to the club" or "how does that medicine taste" than "poor you". Are Christians some untouchable group that should never be discriminated against, when other faiths have been discriminated against all along, and still are?

Electricity and fossil fuels are different beasts. Electricity is renewable. Fossil fuels, coal, oil and natural gas are not.

Wow. I haven't been to OH in probably a year, maybe a little more. For me, it's just too hard to use. I can't figure out where to go, or how to get back to where I was. And I'm big on usability, so if it isn't high, I don't waste my time. I think I have about 3 posts there. The main reason I went was to read the surgeon reviews. I also read through the memorials looking for a LB person (which I never found). All of this was pre-pre-pre-op. I heard about OH through MTV, actually. I watch a show called "True Life" and one of the episodes was about people who had bypass. I saw a girl on the show and was curious about how she was doing, so I googled and found her personal site. Her personal site had a link to OH (I think she's a mod or something there). She and I exchanged some emails, but I never was active on the board. Doesn't sound like I want to be, from these reports. But the posts I did make were fine and I got a lot of responses.

Oh! I completely didn't see that. I was thinking - "Showing some LBT less than three?"

There is someone I've heard people mention in Colarado, and I thin kthe figures were under 10k, but you'd have to search for it, I don't know anything other than that. I'm sorry for the stupid question, but what's the significance of "less than three"??? Surely it's some kind of internet thing, but I can't figure it out.

Hahaha, I remember loving it. "Go to your room!" (where I had a TV, VCR, a Sega, a boom box, a phone, a whole cabinet of books, a whole chest of toys, and a window that overlooked the baseball field behind our house) I'm not going to <insert bragging about all of my vocational, educational, and personal accomplishments here>, but I'm in generally good standing. And none of it had to do with the fact that my father spanked me. What I will attribute to that, however, is the fact that we barely spoke to each other until I was 18 and took the initiative to ask him why he hated me. Until that night we were in constant opposition. Now I consider him a best friend and we're very close, but I often wonder what things would be like if something that night had been different... if we hadn't both happened to be awake at 2am, if I hadn't taken the step to ask him the question (after debating it for close to an hour), etc. Being spanked/hit/whatever you want to call it never taught me something was wrong, that I can remember. But I do remember times when seeing the consequences of my actions did. I can't speak to being 1, but I can speak from memories when I was 4 and 5. I was never grounded. I never had an object or privelege taken away, really - I was sent to my room which really just added more to my environment. And I was shamed, but I really can't make any connections between that and good behavioral changes, just to rebellious ones. Like Is aid very early on, I don't have kids. I can't say how I do or do not discipline them. But I plan to have kid, and this is something DH and I have already discussed and we're both in agreement that there has to be a better way than making your kids fear you, or causing them physical harm. What works best? More than likely depends on the kid. Obviously I don't have all the answers, or I'd be on my yacht in the Galapagos.

Food getting stuck in the stoma, or being unable to pass to/through the stoma. The esophagus pumps to pass the food, and your body tries to lubricate the area (hence the painful spasms and sliming most people have, and the "foaming" you may/may not experience). I would guess that when something won't pass after the body's normal efforts to clear it out, that the PBing is either the result of a defense mechanism (a type pf purge repsonse, much like animals will vomit if they're choking), or the effect of the esophagus going into overtime and getting to the point where it spasms hard enough to bring its contents back up. I don't know if either of these are accurate, they're just my best guess.

If you can do a Protein drink (I use whey protein and calorie/carb countdown milk) that's about 32g right there, just for an 8oz glass. Eat a small fish fillet and there's another 20+ gms. Or a small 4oz pack of tuna is about 20gm. Right there you're over 70gm. Go for the "power packed" foods and not ones that have 5gm or 6gm per serving. I too have to eat when I'm not hungry in order to get any kind of daily calorie value, and protein unless I want to drink it all.

This is hard b/c my surgeon works with 3 others who are familiar with the band and one of them is always available, plus 5 of my local hospitals have ER staff who are familiar with the band. But IF it happend, I truly would not consider it. I'm in no way qualified to mess with my port/band, and not willing to risk any complications. I have REALLY hard time feeling my port. The only way I can feel it is flat on my back, and in that position it's really hard for me to be able to push hard enough to really feel it. And then being able to blindly stick a needle in... there's just no way, I don't think I could physically do it. If I were becoming dehydrated, I would probably go to the local ER (pretending they can't handle band issues) and tell them my situation, and request fluids and a pail or gauze or something so that I could either absorb or spit out my saliva (I've been so tight that saliva won't pass, and having to just swallow it sucked). In the meantime, I would have them try to call other surgeons and see if they could find someone to talk them through the procedure. I know that isn't ideal, but IMO it's more ideal than trying to do it myself.

There are things that help some people... papaya enzyme tablets (to me they're just nasty and turn my PBs orange - they've never helped), meat tenderizer (by the time I'm willing to give this a shot, I don't think I could get it down), etc. For me if I get relief it usually comes from leaning over my island or pooping (more info below). As weird as that may sound, it's true. Sometimes - very rarely - relief comes in the form of holding my breath, but never in the later steps (information on steps below). You've received good information so far. For me, it begins with "slight pressure", and usually ends up in pain, though the degree of pain varies from - really uncomfortable, to spasms that make me cry out. I never feel anything in the chest or the "golf ball" people refer to so frequently. I have a 5-step pain program that I can clearly identify. I'll give you all that information, and a bag of chips!: Step 1: Mild pressure in the esophagus, and slight discomfort in the abdomen. At this point it may pass, or it may progress. Nothing else going on at this time, just waiting to see what happens. Step 2: Pain kicks in on either side of my bellybutton. Usually around this time I also get the urge to poop, that pressure in the bowels. Which is why I call them "PBMs" (PM, BM, haha). Sometimes when I poop that also seems to clear up whatever is stuck, but I don't know why. Maybe it has something to do with the way my insides are moving. At this point I will start trying to do things to alleviate the doscomfort/stick, such as taking breaths and holding them, or leaning against our kitchen island. For some reason, this can be a sort of magical position for me. More than once I've been |-| far from PBing, leaned on the island, and within a minute or two things have passed. But it's hit or miss. Step 3: Pain has migrated into my hips, almost exactly where my hands are if I do the typical "hands on your hips" stance, and if the stick doesn't pass. About this time I also start with the excessive gurgling, hiccuping, and burping (sometimes the burps can get through, and sometimes they try but can't get anywhere. If I burp I usually feel a little bit better, for a very short period). Step 4: The pain begins in my back, centered between my shoulderblades. I'm pretty much just hurting at this point, and it's when I will head into the kitchen and start "prepping" the sink (my PB spot of choice) - getting some paper towels out, turning the Water on, making sure the dog is out of the way, etc. Sad, but I have a whole list of things that help make it a little more convenient, like "preparing my workspace". Salivation is significant at this point, and I'm swallowing or spitting nearly constantly -- honestly, I'm usually spitting because sometimes that triggers my gag and can help the PB come more quickly. Also during this step I will start getting the "cry out loud" spasms, if I'm going to get them. Man, they feel like someone just kicked you. Usually when I get them hiccups kick in, too, so it's an alternating "Oh! Eeech! Oh! Eeech!". Husband always wants to check on me, but usually gets nothing more than a "Go away!" because I'm trying to salvage what little dignity I have left. Step 5: Not so much pain as a weird thichkness/tingle sensation starts to kick in at the back of my throat, and it becomes REALLY hard to swallow. This feeling in my throat is the "ok it's time" indicator, and spitting out the slime will usually spawn the PB. If it doesn't it will at least make me heave, which - unfortunately - causes me more pain in the abdomen. I am a "2 yaks" kind of girl. Rarely does the first one take care of it, and rarely do I need a third. Usually I know right away that all is well, and sometimes the pain persists and gradually tapers off. When this happens, I still kind of know I won't have to yak again, and will go lay down (they exhaust me when they're bad). My best advice when people ask me what to do is to try benign things to alleviate it (holding your breath, bending, etc.), but not to do so much of the active things (taking a drink, eating a tablet, etc.) That's because IMO that just makes it worse. If I'm stuck, and throw liquids on top of it, I can proceed immediately to step 4, maybe 4.5. That's a big huge no no for me, but it works for some. Overall my best, best advice is to just relax and don't fight it. If it needs to come up, it will. If you try to hold it back (you can control this, unlike vomitting, at least until your esophagus is maxed out), you're just going to hurt more and for a longer time. And don't panic. Sometimes the pain can be so much that your body will hit a panic kind of state, and you really have to focus on breathing. This was more true early on, when I was still a tenderfoot. Not so much the case any more, but I can remember - a time at work, in the bathroom stall, leaned over the toilet where all I could do was think "breathe, breathe..." And of course if I'm in a restaurant, Ijust sit there quiet, completely disengaged from the conversation & the workd in general, until it's time to head to the bathroom. My family/friends already know to leave me alone, that nothing's wrong, and that all will be well when I emerge.

They were doing this with any cold medicine last I tried to buy it. Maybe they've changed something, I have not kept up to date. Anyway, the store where I went had a "two bottles at one time" purchase limit. But they were out of individual bottles, and only had packages of two bottles together, two day and two night (not one of each, that would be way too convenient). I wanted to get one day and one night, of course. But they wouldn't let me. SInce they were pre-packaged as two, buying either one put me at my daily limit so I couldn't buy both. I told her I would go through the line twice, or go through a different line, whatever it took, but my husband was sick and I was going to get him some medicine. She called the store manager. Long story short, I left, went to a different store across the street, and bought it there. If I'd really been determined to buy the medicine from that particular store, I easily could have just self checked out two different transactions.

I'm not sure what brand my scale is, I can look when I get home, but it's digital and great. It starts flipping numbers the minute I get on. I have noticed that it tends to weigh me about 3# heavier the first time, so I just weigh 2 or 3 times and take the weight I get more than once. I bought it when I was around 320 and it worked the same way then. The scale weighs me about 8lbs lighter than my surgeon's scale, and about 4'bs heavier than my PCPs.

Never saw it but Mel Gibson is scary.

Enjoy it while it lasts. I was the exact same way, losing about 100 lbs, maybe a little more, in the first six months, then *screeeechhhhh*ing halt. I too was concerned, and even requested follow-ups with my dietician. Everyone told me the same thing - get your protein and calcium, and enjoy it while it lasts because it's going to hit the brakes hard one of these days.

Sugar alcohols (compared to sugar) have about half the calories but are less sweet so more is used. Since they aren't absorbed completely, they have a lower glycemic response - hence their acceptance on many low carb diets. About 40 - 60% of the sugar alcohol is digested. So my advice would be to avoid them when you're working to shrink your liver. I too followed Atkins (the induction phase for over a year), and never let sugar alcohols go by free and clear. I ALWAYS counted them in my carb allowance, because I was still absorbing them. A lot of people think they go through unabsorbed, but unfortunately that's not the case.

I lucked into a Master's program that doesn't require a thesis. We can do one, but we also have the option for a comprehensive exam or a portfolio (all three requiring oral defense). I had identified two programs, and opted for this one because it has alternative graduation activity choices, and ironically may end up writing a thesis after all. Laurend - can you abstrat any behaviors you see from the tapes, or do you have a specific aspect you're supposed to observe? Green's point is very good. I tend to do the same thing, and it has allowed me to get a lot of things I really consider "duh" to get published, because they weren't "duh" to someone else. So go with your instincts, as corny as that sounds.

I noticed he wasn't around, but am assuming it's because his wife just returned and he was spending the time with her. TOM, if you're reading, hope all is well!

...and it has one of those "It's a child, not a choice" stickers on it. And inside I see a male driving, and a female holding a baby on her lap. Now this is going down the Interstate, 70 mph speed limit, I'm going 75 and they're passing me pretty quickly. And I see four children in the backseat. I can't tell if any are sealbelted, but I know at least two were not because they had climbed up onto the back dash (you know, the flat space reserved for tissues and other things we lose that meets up with the back window) and are making faces at all of the cars they go by. And I'm thinking yeah, you made the right choice... And then I get closer to home and stop at the gas station. A not very nice truck. That happens to have confederate flags on the back windows, and a "NO FAT CHICKS" bumper sticker on the back. The door opens and this man gets out who has at least 200 lbs on me. His sweatpants are filthy and, well - let's just say he needed to say no to crack. Grizzly beard, greasy hair, and flip flops (it's like 7 degrees out here). And let's just say he'd probably never seen a pedicure. He closes his door and proceeds to "hock a lugey" onto the side of the gas pump, laugh, and have a conversation with himself. And this guy is going to tell me "NO FAT CHICKS"? Why, because they turn you down too? (BTW, he also had one that said "TO ALL YOU VIRGINS - THANKS FOR NOTHING") And I started wondering - what do you think the deal is with bumper stickers? Do you think people really feel this way? Do you think they're so hungry for attention that they do it just for the reaction? Do you think they bought the car from someone else, and "inherited" the political placards? Have you ever seen an absolutely ironic political statement, and wondered - wtf?! My car has no stickers. I used to have a Darnwin fish, but someone stole it off my car. I was told that one of the resident church-goers relieved me of my ownership. And I remember thinking, how ironic...

Pointless depends on what you see as the point. If "changing someone's mind" (as indicated) is the point, then probably it's pointless. If voicing your opinion, sharing perspective or information, or even participating just for the sake of killing some time is the "point", then these conversations are never pointless.

You're not going to get hauled away for BPD, no worries there. A LOT of people have BPD. It goes undiagnosed every day. Is this a self diagnosis (therapist "missed"?) or did you seek out a different professional?