Wheetsin

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Show her the before & after thread here. Get her to weight herself. I was in denial about how fat I had gotten, until I was weighted and the surgeon's office. There was NO WAY I weighed that much, he must punk his scales to read heavier, so that people are more likely to get the surgery... Everyone wants to believe they can do it on their own. Most things that we really put our minds to, we can accomplish. We can clean our houses, balance our checkbooks, get through difficult projects at work, but we can't sustain weightloss. Weightloss is different. Show me someone who was MO and "did it on their own." Is the weight still off? If so, show me them again in 2 years, or 5, or 10. Generally speaking the only way that MO+ maintain weightloss is to develop new addiction habits. Look at anyone you can think of (if you can even think of any) who has lost the weight "on their own"... and chances are they're now smoking, or drinking, or exercising maniacally, or... <insert addiction(s) here> MO. A good therpist may be able to help. And there certainly are exceptions. And I am referring much more to MO+, vs. someone with 20 lbs to lose. But by and large, our obesity is too deeply rooted to just "change". Remember that everyone here had to come to this decision on our own. No one forced us to do this, and if you pressure her into something she's not ready to do, not only will she rebel against it that strongly (for many MO who binge, this is a key binge trigger... "the vicious circle", but your relationship is also going to feel the strain. Express your care for her. In a positive way. Always positive. Let her find her own inspiration.

If he constantly puts you down and you're "closer and closer" to getting rid of him, why is he there now? It sounds as though you believe that a pound lost earns you that much more freedom from him.

When I look at someone I think is pretty, and I look at me, there's not a lot in common. I've lost around 150 lbs and I still don't think I'm pretty, but I do think I'm more normal. Honestly, for a while, when I would see myself... my reflection... I would think... $%#^ I don't even look human. Now I think I look like a fat human.

What's your diet, that finding vegetables to work is such a challenge? Can't make suggestions unless I know what the limitations are.

It's amazing how individually we respond. Any PB remedies (pineapple, papaya, tenderizer, etc.) just ensure that my eventual PB tastes like the remedy, and in the case of colored remedies such as the emzyme tablets, are tinted to boot.

I asked my surgeon the usual - procedures complication rates, etc. I also asked him why he does the band. I also asked him - if he wanted to talk me out of the lapband, what would he say? I wanted to see what he considered to be its weak point. Another of his patients asked, if she were one of his family, which of the two surgeries would he want to do on her, and why.

Hahaha, I posted the above message before I read this.

I probably shouldn't admit this, but I'm just a few rungs below phobia with little people. They completely creep me out. Dwarves much more so than midgets, but both to some degree. I know, shame on me, but I can't help it any more than I can help fleeing from a spider.

Not necessarily a matter of should/shouldn't. Some people (I'm one of them) are able to acheive a good amount of restriction with the band itself. In other words, it causes enough restriction to start getting the job done, deflated. Hence my first PB was 3 days post op. :faint:

I can tolerate bread, but I usually choose not to. And I love PBJs. So... if I have a craving, I stir up a spoon of Peanut Butter and a spoon of jelly and just eat it without the bread. Or I've been known to add peanut butter & fruit to a vanilla base Protein drink. I just saw a PBJ ice cream at the store. May have to give that a try one of these days. :car:

I've never come across a food that won't go down. Some things like bananas, processed eggs, applesauce, slimy strawberries (strawberry shortcake style), etc. go down heavier, but will still pass. I think this confuses my surgeon. He uses food tolerance questions to help gauge how much fill is needed. Can we eat bread, chicken, steak, Pasta... yep! My restriction is based on two things - time of day, and time of month. If I PB, it's 2 - 4 days before my period. Right around the same time the scale starts going up. I consider this my monthly PB. And it kind of doesn't matter what I'm eating, everything is fair game. I no longer eat Breakfast, and lunch is Soup 85% of the time. If it's not soup, then I'm only getting down a bite or two before my warning signs start to go off. So usually, if I can't get a soup, I don't eat. After 5 or 6 I'm pretty much wide open. I still get full fast, but I can eat beyond a typical portion and still feel hungry. I can also drink with meals w/o that "uh oh" feeling, which I absolutely can't do earlier in the day. And likewise, for about 2 days, about 4 days after my period, I'm pretty much wide open 24/7. Then I go back to my "regular" restriction until the following month. So so so so so so much of what I've learned in the past 18ish months has been how to listen to my body, and how to pick up on the patterns. With those two things unlocked, I have very, very few surprises.

Well, going by the BMI/ideal weight at my surgeon's office, I have 45 - 55 lbs to go. Looking at my body it seems like a lot more than that, but I'm not good at the whole spatial relationship thing. I went shopping yesterday and picked up 14/16 tops and "2" bottoms (Lane Bryant has a new sizing system). I'm 1 - 2 sizes bigger on bottom than top b/c of my hips. I wanted to get to 14/16 - on bottom too. :car:

I don't remember my starting BMI... 54, 56... something like that. I'm currently around BMI 34 with about 50 lbs to go.

Sorry, that's my food Network lingo coming out. :waytogo: Sweat an onion is cooking it in some type of fat, lightly salted, so that the moisture begins to "sweat" out. I usually do it visually - when the onionns are soft and have started to go clear, they're sweated. And EVOO = extra virgin olive oil.

We had to spend a lot of time talking about things to get to that point. We knew we really liked each other, and wanted to spend more time together, but also knew that wasn't going to happen with me in the US & him in Europe, seeing each other only twice, maybe three or four times a year if we could both get enough time off. We had to figure out what we wanted. It was too hard (the good-byes, not knowing when we'd see each other again), expensive, and lonely to keep at that "L" of a LDR much longer. We had agreed not to date other people, so that we could have a chance with each other, but didn't know what was next. Then we both hit a point where it was like... Ok, either we say "thanks for the fun, nice knowing you" and continue on with our lives, or we make a comittment to be together. One way or another, because what we're doing right now isn't going to cut it for much longer. Neither of us were ready to not have the other in our life, so someone had to move somewhere. I will still in college, he was done. He spoke English fluently, I was at maybe a 2nd grade with his language. His vocation was easily transferable to our workplace, mine was not there, etc. So I worked 3 weeks ahead in school and flew out there to help him pack. While he was at work wrapping up there I would work on emptying out his townhouse. Then when I flew back home, he came with me. We'll have our 10th anniversary in November. :waytogo:

To be honest, and this is just my personal opinion, the lap-band is not the best solution for people who drink excessively (or consume many liquid calories), mainly because of the pure numbers game. The achilles heel of the band is that people can learn to eat around it, and one of the biggest pain points here is liquid calories. I don't know the numbers but I'm going to guess 200 - 500 calories per drink. If you're looking at an average minimum of 4 drinks per day, that's 800 - 2000 calories per day, just on the drinks. Most bandsters are in the 800 - 1200 range, for their total day's intake. Will the abnd still be able to help? Maybe... almost impossible to say. But I'm not sure you'd see a good ROI.

Absolutely, if it's the RIGHT .5cc! At the start of the year I went from 2.5cc to 3cc. At 2.5 I was fairly wide open, but at 3cc I closed off completely and could not even get my own saliva to pass - had to go for an immediate unfill. I was taken down to 2, wide open. Back to 2.5, wide open. But I was afraid to go to 3. So I split the different and went to 2.75. I've stayed there ever since and think I'm as much at a sweet spot as I'll be able to get. So yeah, in my case a half a cc made the difference between open & emergency unfill. And .25cc made the difference between open & sweet spot. I know peopel personally who have gone from open to too tight in as little as 0.1cc.

Lap-band (used generically but actually a registered trademark of Inamed/BioEnterics/Allergan/whatever) comes in three sizes: 9.75cm/4cc 10cm/4cc 11cm (aka VanGuard or VG)/10cc The first number is the band's internal circumference, the second is it volume. I've not looked into the AP (advanced platform) bands so I'm not sure of its specs, but I'd hope the smaller is still larger than 1cc. :waytogo:

I slowed way down, almost overnight. Now I'm a very bursty (not busty!) loser. I might lose nothing for months, then lose 10 lbs. In fact, between March and August of this year, I lost 2 lbs. But since mid August, I've lost 23 (a good part due to an illness so I'd expect it to come back). Even with that half year stall, and all the months where I lost little to nothing, or just fluctuated the same 5# over & over, my overall loss still averaging out to about 8.5# per month, over the last 18 months. Sometimes I have to step back and ponder than number to keep from feeling like it's a lost cause.

Sorry - just now rediscovered this thread. My gall bladder was attacking me and had to get the hell out. The surgery itself went fine - I was literally out shopping the next day. Had more pain immediately post-op, but slept through that night and woke up feeling great. But somehow, coincidence or indirectly related to the operation I know don't know, I ended up with a severe infection of my small intestine. For a few days they knew I had an infection, but coudn't find it. Then the fever got such that I was ordered to the ER, and I didn't get to leave until they found the source. So I was MIA for longer than planned. I missed my LBT. (But between not eating or drinking much of anything for a week and a half, I am down 14 lbs. I know it will come back, but it's oh so nice to see that number on the scale). :clap2:

On the flip side... To your first, I would question anyone who only ordered a side salad. I would be concerned that they didn't feel well, or maybe needed to borrow money but didn't want to ask, or didn't like the restaurant we had gone to. It matters not if they're fat, thin, or anything in between. I think sometimes we expect certain reactions, and find them even when they aren't there. To your second, IMO, because it's an easily identifiable physical characterisitc. Especially if being stated by two non-fat people. I am fat, and I have red curly hair. Both are physical traits, and for me, equally likely to narrow down a group of people to just me. Why would "the one who's overweight?" bother you more than "the shorter one" or "the black one"? People tend to go for the characteristic that's most obvious and least like themselves (unless it's exactly like themselves, because then they can make an easy comparison statement such as, "like mine but a little shorter" or "about this same color"). As to the third, my firm belief is because they can.

I wasn't always fat, and then was fatter than most people here, so I've definitely seen both sides of it. I can tell you that people now treat me no differently than they did when I was at this point on my way up. BUT, I grew so accustomed to the -- not unpleasant treatment, just lack of anything -- from people, that it now hits a little harder. I wasn't really teased or mocked while MO, but I was ignored, and invisible except for the people who would do a double-take. And not in a good way. I still feel like people are looking at me because I'm so fat they can't believe it. I know that's no longer the case, but it's a head game. Only now when they're looking, they come up and talk to me, or compliment something I'm wearing, or ask how I did my hair. Before, they just looked, then looked away.

Most people lose some restriction over time. Hence more fills. Did you feel the same way with your other fills, or were you tighter? Lots of possibilities. It could be that you're falling into a restriction pattern. For a while I was tight, and PBed a handful of times a week. Then I rather suddenly hit this "groove" where I could see restriction patterns, and they were WAY different than what I'd had before. You could be seeing the results of the fat around your band area shrinking. Picture a tight watch on a fat wrist, then the person loses weight, the wrist gets skinnier, and the watch suddenly fits much looser. I've seen many, many people reporting that they are wide open right after a fill, only have it clench down 1, 2, even 3 weeks later.

I went through something similar during my first year. My surgeon wouldn't want to fill me b/c he was afraid I would be too tight, even though I knew I wasn't. Then he thought maybe my starting weight had been written down wrong, but I had my med records to back it up. However, I never got a cross word from him, just lots of congratulations (after all, it makes him look that much more successful, no?). He also does RnY so maybe the drastic losses don't shock him as much? I don't know. The "worst" I've had was having to compromise on 1/4cc fills when I wanted 1cc, because he was convinced that to lose like I had, I must be tighter than I was indicating. Man, I miss those days!!