summerset

This is Bariatric Pal. Yes, people are serious about this.

I've read your post again and I have the impression that you gained self-confidence regarding weight/food/looks? IMO it's not the weight loss or the change in itself that causes people to react differently. People will always react differently to you if you change your behavior. Think about when you started working, when you were a newbie. And then think about how people might have started reacted differently to you after you've had a few years of experience under your belt. They might have started to view your opinion as more trustworthy for example. And some might have started bitching because they couldn't handle the fact that you were not an inexperienced newbie anymore and maybe viewed you as threat in some sort of way.

It's not necessary to view "food as a friend" to miss it sometimes. If you can't eat certain foods you always liked anymore it's quite normal to miss them. Taking a look outside of the weight loss/bariatric/eating disordered community is quite helpful to get a feeling for what is seen as "normal" or not regarding food. I can remember my own surprise when I realized that everyone eats emotionally to a certain degree. I know no one who "eats for fuel only". If anything people are in abusive relationships with themselves not with a piece of cake or pizza.

Results are generally mixed when it comes to treating eating issues. "Mixed" meaning "by far not always successful". Yes, worth a try if the access to a therapist ist there, but I wouldn't expect any miracles.

Most likely. Shouldn't be a problem in a bariatric community though. I agree that ambivalent feelings are normal. They occur with many things and too many people respond to them with "Well, you knew it would be like that". What comes to my mind here is when people in the medical field talk about e. g. being on endless working hours, night shifts, 24 h duties etc. - of course everyone who've chosen working in the field knows about these things (duh!!), however, what nobody knows is how you'll be able to cope with these things a decade or more down the road when you're in your 40s or 50s.

I've heard of it though I'm not sure why surgeons would revise from band to sleeve (of course they have their reasons, just wondering what these reasons are). Anyway I was a band to MGB and a band to sleeve wouldn't have been possible anyway because of so much scar tissue. I also had severe reflux so sleeve was out of the question anyway. However, if one revises from band to sleeve I'm not surprised about the second revision because quite a few people get severe reflux after sleeve.

Sometimes I eat emotionally, sometimes I don't. Today was a very stressful day, late lunch with 20 h IF, lots of mentally and partly also physically demanding work, coming home at half past eight in the evening, being called 10 min after coming home and still being on-call until tomorrow 8 AM... You know what? I'm eating emotionally right now and I give a damn about it because I'm tired as ****. No idea and I don't think it's possible. Everyone I know eats emotionally at least now and then - it's just a matter of how often people do it if they're doing serious damage or not and how much they usually eat. The best bet seems to be to learn that you don't have to eat because you feel certain feelings. It might feel in the beginning like you NEED TO HAVE SOMETHING TO EAT RIGHT NOW. However, you'll discover soon that this is absolutely not true. No fool-proof 100% method (see above) but for me it works.

Though one has to say that not ranitidine itself is the culprit but the NDMA they found in some batches.

My reflux got a lot better. However, it is not entirely gone. It gotten better when I stopped eating dairy but it's still not gone. I take ranitidine when I need it (I have to look into another drug because of the recent issues with ranitidine though). I won't go near PPI anymore if I can help it.

I had reflux and the band had started to migrate into the stomach already.

You already answered your own question. It's usually seen as polite to offer food. Unless you have the impression that people try to actively sabotage you it's nothing to rant about. I often offer some food (ProudGrammy called it "goodies", lol) myself. I don't mind though if people decline. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't, depending on what I offer and at what time of day. As much as some people on here might not like it but "food" brings people together since people exist.

Well, it gives a different view on things. The author herself had years of therapy that didn't do zilch for her bingeing. She refers a lot to "Rational Recovery", a book that was written for people addicted to alcohol.

Getting a good therapist that specializes in eating disorders (best would be subspecialty BED/COE of course) is good advice. However, they usually don't fall down from heaven but have waiting lists of several months before you get your first appointment (if you can find a therapist like this at all in the area you're living in, that is). So until you find that good therapist who specializes in BED/COE you might want to look into self-help books. Brain over Binge is a gem IMO but not everybody's cup of tea.

That could be an explanation because basically all of them reported something like "two months after surgery" and that seems to be a little early for these things to happen. Anyway, doesn't mean that every second marriage goes down the drain.

I think this is a good mindset to have. However, I personally think there ist also a really awful trap hiding behind that corner and we fell into it again and again before surgery. When browsing the board you'll notice quite a few posts from people who fell into the trap again and hopped on the dieting-merry-go-round again. A lot of people seem to think "before surgery" they simply weren't - vigilant enough - motivated enough - disciplined enough - trying hard enough - hard enough on themselves, damning their "old selves" into deepest hell, despising who they think they were "back then". However, I personally think we were all of these things I mentioned. Vigilant enough, motivated enough, disciplined enough, trying hard enough, hard enough on ourselves - until we burnt out and had out rebound binge time. Unfortunately surgery doesn't protect us from this burnout. That awful trap is still lurking behind the next corner. Don't fall into it again and don't hop on the dieting-merry-go-round again.

Absolutely, also that was a loooooooooooong time ago. I know about being not-sooooooo-good about the supplements and have to remind myself that they're necessary. That's the speed with which your train will run on comfortably. The engine is running at a speed it can handle in the long run and its captain is not a machine that doesn't get tired or worn out, it's a human being. And what's so wrong about a normal diet? What's a normal diet anyway nowadays? I'm earning money, but I could be earning so much more if I would work more 24 h shifts on weekends. Do you want to do that? Like... really want to do that? This is not "fat brain" (whatever that's supposed to be), that's "human brain". The human brain doesn't want to "try harder". It hates "trying harder". It wants to take the part of least resistance, that's human. You wrote that you're still losing weight. Where exactly is the sabotage?

Only if it'll be combined with a bot creating answers to the following: "I have lost only 4.8 lbs after 10 days! This surgery is not working!!!!!" "Does that really mean that weight loss stops after 18 months???" "My starting weight was 301 lbs - according to this table I'm supposed to lose much faster! Clearly I'm doomed!!!"

I'm obviously in rainbow-unicorn-wonderland. 😂

If you had surgery on 11th October last year you can't be stalled "since forever".

Interesting read. However, when I've read that only two months after surgery the relationships of these two guys ended... how much weight can you lose in two months? How much attention do these people get to make their partner feel threatened two months after surgery? How many new friends do you gain during this period? It sounds a bit weird to me. It seems more like these relationships were on their last leg anyway and "surgery" was the scape goat that come along the way the right time.

I used my own. Back in the days nobody seemed to talk about goal weights. When I had my revision nobody talked about about a goal weight either.

Usually black as the night, but not too strong. On weekends or when on vacation I sometimes make myself a soy latte if I'm in the mood for it (I actually found a soy milk that's good for making a latte and tastes good when poured over a muesli as well). --- On a side note: @Goldn02Grl interestingly enough I'm worrying more about my teeth than the calories when I'm having some sugar in a beverage (e. g. in a strong Espresso).

Regarding cravings etc. I don't get tired of recommending books about "normal eating" or "intuitive eating". These books are very, very helpful even though (or maybe because?) they don't deal with post-WLS stuff, nutrition etc. - However, the opinions on this approach vary. Many post-WLS people seem to prefer the OA/addiction approach with abstinence being the key to success. For an interesting kind of view on bingeing/LOC eating "Brain over Binge" is a gem IMO, but again this might not be everyone's cup of tea. People need to do what they need to do to feel good long term (like really good, not trying to convince yourself that everything's fine, even though you secretly hate the way you're living your life when it comes to food and/or exercise).

Are you one of the IF people? Just asking because for me it depends if I'm in the fasting window or in the eating window. I tend to feel colder until I start eating, veins hiding and all and as soon as I start eating sometimes around noon I feel warm, veins popping out.

This. WLS won't help cravings in the long run (at least it's like that for most of us as it seems) and one should be making plans on how to deal with them. The food triggers are everywhere (except maybe your own home if you're the one deciding what foods to buy or not) and other people usually won't accommodate to your dietary choices as well. I also wonder what kind of surgeon or dietician tells a patient that he/she will never be able to eat sweets again.